Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction. The characters in this story: Xena, Gabrielle, Eve or Livia (and any mention to characters from the television show Hercules: The Legendary Journeys)are the property of Renaissance Pictures and Universal MCA. This story is not meant to infringe upon their rights or the rights of the actors who portray them. Also, no part of the story entitled Growing up "Livia" is to be copied, whole or in part, without the author's permission. It is not to be copied for public use or for profit by any person or organization.

Growing Up “Livia”

Written by Caina Q. Fuller

Chapter Seven

Livia could sense that the end was near. The end of what exactly, she wasn’t sure. Most likely it would either be the end of her life, but the possibility it would be Brigid’s reign as Queen of the First Tribe was a definite possibility.

The looks on the sisters faces as Brigid told them that she was hereby freeing Livia from her status of slave to Amazon citizen told her all she needed to know: Brigid was losing the loyalty of her sisters and it was all her fault.

Something inside of Livia wanted to step forward and stop Brigid from making this mistake, but years of being taught by Ares, who had yet to make an appearance since she was captured by the Amazons, to be selfish wouldn’t allow her to do or say anything that would mean sacrificing her own interests for someone else. The god of War had done his job well with Livia.

“I know you don’t like my decision, but I’m asking you all to trust me for a reason. She is my sister. If she can be redeemed, I have to at least try.”

Linara, beaten and bruised, emerged from the middle of the crowd. Her face, or what anyone could see of it, was full of anger and betrayal.

“She hasn’t been your sister since you lost her all those years ago. You’re Hanai, and you’re our Queen. Your loyalties should lie with us, not her. When are you going to wake up and see that?”

Many of the sisters began to mumble their agreement with Linara, and Brigid could feel her control over her tribe slipping. She wasn’t really surprised. She had become Queen only because Livia had killed the “real” Queen. Now she was embracing the enemy, and they obviously couldn’t accept it.

“It sounds to me like you’re challenging my authority.”

The women looked between Linara and Brigid as the silence stretched between them. As far as Brigid was concerned, her sister’s life hung in the balance, and she wouldn’t allow these women to harm someone she loved.

Linara came forward and stood before Brigid, her bruised body in no shape to fight. She had the right of caste, and she was the only one who could legally challenge Brigid to a fight for the crown.

“I’ve always been your friend Hanai. Don’t let this Roman tear us apart.”

“If you were really my friend, you would respect my decisions as Queen. Something has happened to my sister since we were separated. I’m going to bring back the girl I knew and loved. Whether my Amazon sisters like it or not.”

Linara turned away from Brigid and faced the crowd gathered before them. “How many of you here want Livia executed?”

Ever sister in the tribe raised her hands and cheered. This was their one chance to have their voice heard, and they weren’t going to waste it. Brigid held her hands up for silence, and posed her own question.

“How many of you would like for me to step down as Queen?”

One particularly brave sister in the rear of the crowd raised her voice. “All of us, if you won’t do your duties as Queen and have Livia executed!”

Once again the crowd began to cheer and Brigid turned back to Livia. The look they shared said it all: Brigid had all but lost her hold over the Amazons. Her only chance now was to take control and rid herself of the opposition. Not all Amazons were against Brigid, but more were than not.

“I’ll tell you what. Since I am still Queen of the First Tribe, I will do as I said I would. Livia will be made an Amazon. She will be a citizen of the First Tribe with all liberties and rights that come with citizenship. When Linara has completely healed of all her wounds, and has had time to prepare herself, she and I will fight for the crown.”

Brigid stood over Linara, her eyes boring coldly into her second in command. “If she wins, Livia’s fate is in her hands, as well as mine. If I win, she and every other sister who is no longer loyal to me will leave the First Forest forever to join with the Northern and Eastern Amazons. Is that fair?”

The sisters didn’t take long to consider her proposal before they nodded in agreement. Apparently they had a lot of confidence in Linara’s ability to defeat Brigid in a fair fight.

“Do you accept Linara?”

“I do.”

“Very well then,” Brigid said. She waved her hand for the crowd to disperse, but Linara remained behind.

“If you win, you’ll be living in an empty forest. She doesn’t love you Hanai. She’s a Roman who only love’s herself. She isn’t your sister anymore, and it seems you’re the only one who can’t see that.” Linara’s eyes bore into Livia’s. “One day, if it suits her purposes, she’ll turn on you. And when she does, you’ll pay for this foolishness with your life.”

With that said, Linara went off with the other sisters to her own hut. Brigid estimated she had about a week to prepare, maybe nine days, before she would either defeat one of her own sisters in combat, or win and lose everyone she has called family for the past seven years. But it was for her sister, and as far as Brigid was concerned, Livia was worth it.

**********

“Livie? Come on. I want to show you something.”

Livia emerged from the Queens hut, wearing the traditional, and somewhat skimpy, clothes of the Amazons. She looked like any other of the women around her, except the other sisters held her in the utmost contempt. She knew that every time she passed them to go hunting with Brigid, they were waiting for Linara to kick Brigid’s ass in a fight so they could kill her in some gruesome, horrible way.

She and Brigid had been living all but separated from the rest of the sisters for the past three days. The Amazons did as Brigid ordered of course, and life went on as usual, but the love and sense of unity that had once bonded them so closely was gone. Livia wondered if it would ever be returned.

She also wondered about the feelings that had arisen in her heart. It seemed that her heart was a lump of black ice in her chest, serving only one purpose, and that was to keep her alive. She had a difficult time genuinely feeling the emotions she used to share with Brigid when they were children.

The idea of loving the woman who was risking it all to save her and her soul was so foreign to her it actually angered her. Livia had found she’d turned into a mass of mental and emotional conflict. She didn’t want to get to know Brigid, yet she longed for the good old days when they were children, running around Ann’s skirts playing tag.

She didn’t want to look into Brigid’s green eyes and fall apart with silly giggling for no apparent reason other than she was just happy to see the love that was so brightly reflected within, but at the same time she wanted lose herself in her sisters crystal green orb’s forever. She didn’t want to need the honest, pure love Brigid offered, yet she could no longer deny she did need it.

Brigid was offering her a choice between hatred, violence and power, or family and pure, selfless love. If she followed Brigid, she knew she would one day lose her desires to conquer and rule the world. Yet if she did not, she would pay for that ultimate power with her eternal soul.

“Are you ok Livie?”

Livia didn’t realize she’d been staring at Brigid as her mind had raced with these thoughts until her sister called out her old nickname. She forced herself to look to the wagon she and the Queen would take to the lake for a day of fishing and picnicking. Just the two of them, like in the old days.

The old days. It was too bad they couldn’t just turn back time and do it all over again. There were so many things Livia would do differently. First, she would never have taken her eyes off Brigid for a moment. Something told her that if she’d never lost the only sister she’d ever known, she wouldn’t be the bitter, power hungry woman she is now.

“I’m fine. Let’s get to the lake huh? I’d like to get some sun on my skin.”

“Still not used to cool air huh? You’ll adjust, one day.”

“Only if you win in that fight against Linara. You should let me teach you some of my techniques so you’ll-”

“No,” Brigid said, cutting her off. “I didn’t mean to snap, but I have to do this on my own, or I will gain no honor from it. Do you understand?”

“No, but I’ll accept it.”

“Would that all my sisters were like you Livie,” Brigid said, a small, somewhat sad smile pulling at the corners of her lips. “Let’s go have some fun, huh?”

Brigid put the horses into a casual walk and they rode out of the village they’d become the enemy in since Livia’s arrival. Brigid found herself thinking of that every moment since she’d decided to end the power struggle with one, definitive fight. She turned to Livia, once they were out of the range of her warrior’s hearing.

“I saw some of the sisters that know my fighting style best training Linara. That’s why its so important to me to do this without any help. I want to prove to them all that no matter what they try to do, I’m worthy to be the Queen of the First Tribe.”

Livia smiled, her wicked nature shining through bright and clear. “If they’re training her, that means they know she doesn’t have what it takes to defeat you on her own. How long do you think it will take her to learn your techniques?”

“She already knows it, basically. She and I have always been close. That’s why I’m willing to bet this will be a close fight.”

“If it comes down to it, can you kill her?”

“I could,” Brigid said, clearly not liking the idea of taking the life of someone she considered a friend. “But I won’t.”

Though she was trying to hide it, Brigid sounded worried. Livia thought of the day she’d killed Odessa in Ares’ temple. Brigid had been such a weak-hearted girl then. Now, thanks to the Amazon’s, she was a true warrior.

“You shouldn’t worry Brigid. You gave me your best shot and I couldn’t best you. That’s saying something, considering Ares has been training me since the day you were stolen from me.”

So that explains it, Brigid thought, though she said nothing. Ares has corrupted her. No wonder she’s so full of hate. It looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me.

“We’re going to prevail Livia. We’re going to be happy.”

Finally they arrived at a beautiful lake that was being fed by a majestic waterfall.

“Finally, some sunlight.” Livia said. She dismounted, almost before Brigid had a chance to stop the wagon, and rushed to the waters edge. Brigid knew it was only to escape her searching eyes, so she went after her. She didn’t want Livia to have too much time to collect herself and pull away from her.

Brigid had every intent to slay the beast that Ares had created. Only instead of using the sword, she would use the most powerful weapon the gods had ever given mankind.

Love.

**********

Augustus Caesar had to admit that it was nice to finally be away from Rome. At least for a little while. He loved the city, but it could be so demanding on his patients. It seemed there was always someone trying to get close to him. Either to assassinate him or to use him for their own ends.

As he made his way toward Livia’s last known location, feeling the power of the horse beneath him, ready to run into a glorious battle at any given moment, he remembered what it was like in the good ole days, when he was just starting out to secure his place as one of Rome’s most powerful Caesar’s in history.

He found himself longing for his youth again. He could feel his once strong muscles weakening. He could see them steadily shrinking, and he could feel his once narrow, lean waist getting thicker with each year that passed by. His eyes weren’t as sharp as they once were, and he couldn’t remember as many details as he once could.

‘War is for the young’, his uncle Julius had once told him, ‘and the throne is for the wise’. He had been unable to comprehend what his uncle was saying to him then, but now he was beginning to understand.

The only question that steadily ran through his mind in the latter days seemed to be, was he as wise as his uncle had been? Or would he be brought down by a woman, also as his uncle had been.

He called for one of his praetorian guard, who ran to him immediately. “Yes sir?”

“How long until we reach the Amazon forests?”

“Four days sir.”

Good, Augustus thought. Four days of freedom before he would have to go into what could very well be his last battle. He doubted Livia was alive, but he wouldn’t kill every single Amazon until he knew for certain Livia’s fate. Until the time came, he would enjoy his few days of freedom.

**********

Brigid had been under so long, Livia was beginning to wonder if perhaps something hadn’t happened to her. The thought of making a run for it did occur to her. Not only would she be gaining her freedom, but Brigid wouldn’t have to lose her tribe either. Finally Brigid emerged from the water with a squirming trout in her hands.

“Quick! In the bag!”

Livia had forgotten what a scrooge she was long enough to actually have some fun with her sister. She held up a sack to carry their catches in and Brigid tossed the fish with finesse rarely achieved by the average person. Then again, Brigid wasn’t the average person. She was an Amazon Queen. She was Livia’s sister.

Brigid pulled her tall, muscular frame from the water and stretched out on the grass to let the sun warm her cold skin. The water was almost like ice, considering that the day was considerably warm in the sun.

“Sure you won’t hop in Spider?”

Livia looked over to the rippling water and could imagine how cold and deep it was. The sound of the waterfall was relaxing, but she didn’t want to actually submerge herself in it.

“No thank you. I’m fine like I am.”

“Suit yourself,” Brigid said, and it reminded Livia of a game they used to play as children where both of them had to have the last word or they lost. Brigid had always won that particular game.

“You always had to have the last word, didn’t you Brigid?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Brigid said with mock innocence as she once again managed to sneak in the last word.

“Sure you do.”

Brigid shook her head no, and Livia had to force back a silly giggle. “Nope. I have no idea what you mean.”

“You don’t have to be a genius to know what I meant Spider.”

“Nope, you sure don’t.”

Livia finally gave up and picked up their catch. “I’ll gut this. You start a fire.”

Livia looked to her sister to see if she would allow her to win this once. “Sounds good to me. I’m hungry.”

Apparently not.

An hour and a half later they were stuffing their faces with freshly grilled trout and reminiscing about the good old days, like they hadn’t been separated for seven years.

“Do you remember that one girl with the lazy eye?” Brigid asked, pulling a bone from her mouth and trying not to laugh while she ate.

Livia finished her last bite of fish and thought back on all the girls they’d schooled with at the Academy. “I sure do. She thought she was so smart. Always raising her hand first for every question the teacher would ask. I absolutely hated her.”

“You’re not the only one,” Brigid said, nodding in agreement. “Even her friends didn’t like her.”

“That’s not saying much. She looked down her nose at everybody.”

“Yeah, but she could only see one side clearly.”

Livia and Brigid rolled with laughter at the joke. Livia was surprised at how good it felt to laugh just for the hell of it. Gods. This was heaven and despite herself, she loved Brigid for giving her a small piece of it.

Livia had her own fond memories of the Academy too. “Do you remember that teacher that liked Mom? What was his name?”

“He was from Athens,” Brigid said. “If I remember correctly his name was Epeius. There was a rumor going around he went both ways, if you know what I mean.”

“By the gods! I’d forgotten about that one.”

Once again they laughed, enjoying the memories of their childhood. “I remember,” Livia began, “how he would send Mom flowers every single day, but he would always use one of the slave girls to do it. He was too embarrassed to bring them himself. Poor man. Could you imagine being that weak and pathetic?”

“Well, I wouldn’t call him weak and pathetic Livie. Just shy. Sometimes it’s good for the soul to be soft you know?”

“Yeah, but not in a real man. Besides, how would you know? You’re the Queen of a tribe of warrior women.” Livia leaned in, as if conspiring to do something wicked. “When was the last time you’ve had sex?”

“Livie!” Brigid’s cheeks turned as red as her hair and she looked away, embarrassed. This was not the kind of thing she talked about with anyone, and she felt weird discussing sex with her sister.

“Oh, come on, tell me. This is girl-talk after all. Well? When?”

“I can’t remember.”

“That long huh?”

“Livia!”

“Don’t tell me you don’t miss it Sis. I’d go after one of the slave boys if I wasn’t afraid of impaling myself on one of their bones.”

They laughed again, only this time it was more sedate. “I suppose,” Brigid said, “we could feed them a little more often.”

“Yeah. You might actually find you a man in one of…never mind. None of them have tongues. Forget it.”

Both women lay on her back, and Brigid took Livia’s hand in her own, as they’d always done as children. The sky above them was the most perfect dark blue Livia had ever seen. There wasn’t a cloud in sight, and she almost felt as if her soul could just float out of her body and into eternity. It was a dizzying experience, but one she was enjoying thoroughly.

As the minutes passed them by, another thought came to Livia: What if Brigid lost the fight against Linara? She was ready to accept her own death, but she wasn’t so sure she could handle losing Brigid again. Strange, Livia thought, how one could adapt so quickly to the idea of having another person in her life.

“Spider?”

“Mmm?”

Livia looked over and saw that Brigid’s eyes had closed and her breathing had slowed. In a few moments the Queen would be asleep, and Livia was amazed that her long lost sister, knowing how Livia was, would show that much trust in her.

And Livia wondered if she would ever betray that trust. She watched Brigid’s profile and she knew in her heart that she had found a place to call home. That place wasn’t in the forest with the Amazon’s, but in Brigid’s warm, loving heart.

In her mind’s eye, Livia could see her heart encased in a block of ice, and that ice was melting. Slowly, but surely. As her hatred and bitterness fell away, her soul seemed to warm to the idea of letting go of the dogma Ares had pounded into her half her life about never allowing herself to love another.

She was at war with Brigid, and the prize was Livia’s soul. And even though she never would have believed it possible before she’d been brought in among the Amazon’s, Livia knew she was losing this war.

And she was glad.

The End of Chapter Seven.

Continued