Terry pulled her knees higher, seeking more warmth. She closed her eyes momentarily, idly contemplating how seamlessly Jan and Rob had become a part of her extended family. It was a rare Sunday when they didn't join the clan for one of Emily's feasts.

She thought of that November Sunday when Rob had quietly asked to speak to Gord privately before dinner. The two men had been closeted for over an hour, but when they'd come out, Gord had gruffly acquiesced to his youngest son's career dream.

Terry had glanced at her mother and been unsurprised to see Emily's deep look of gratitude directed at the man slumping tiredly in his wheelchair. Terry wasn't sure whose eyes has been brighter, Emily's or Jordy's, but since then an amiable truce had been declared on the subject and Gord no longer brought the issue up.

She chuckled to herself when she remembered the huge piece of homemade lemon pie that Emily had set before Rob that night. He'd accepted it with a wry smile, understanding the gratitude behind it even if he did only make it halfway through the slab.

Terry was sure that her favourite Saturday memory was the day that she'd urged Jan upstairs to the garret, and handed her a plainly wrapped box that had arrived in the mail the day before.

Jan looked at the parcel in her hands and then over at her grinning friend who'd flopped on the bed with an expectant look on her face.

"After 37 years? I'm thinking this first load of laundry might take the short cycle," Terry chortled. The two women collapsed helplessly on the bed, rolling around laughing until tears streamed from their eyes. They'd worn themselves down to the odd guffaw when Terry grimaced, pulling a large pink toy from under her back, and they convulsed with laughter all over again.

Terry couldn't help giggling as she remembered the day after when they'd seen each other again at Sunday dinner. Terry had asked in perfect innocence if she'd gotten all her laundry done the previous night. When the two women had practically fallen off their chairs laughing, the entire Sanderson clan plus Rob had looked at them as if they were insane.

When Jan managed to speak, she'd assured Terry that laundry detail had gone very well, and thank you ever so much for asking. That had set them off again and Jordy responded by ostentatiously sniffing their water glasses.

Deciding that her room was now warm enough for her to safely emerge from her cocoon, Terry pushed back her covers and grabbed her robe. Glancing at the bedside clock, she noticed it was just past eight, and she was momentarily disappointed that there were still hours to go until Jan would be hers for the afternoon again.

Hmm, Saturday morning. That means blueberry pancakes with maple syrup. Wonder if they've eaten yet? Knowing that even if Rob and Jan had eaten already, Jan would have saved enough batter to make her pancakes, Terry decided a quick shower was in order before a fast trip to the Spencers.

Twenty minutes later, Terry grabbed her skates and headed out to her car. Today they'd planned on a skating expedition to the frozen lagoon by the river. Terry reminded herself to talk Jan into making a thermos of hot chocolate to take with them.

Driving carefully over streets still icy and rutted from this week's snowstorms, Terry marveled at how her friendship with Jan had blossomed over the months. Much to her surprise, she'd found it easier to relax and simply enjoy the woman's company without letting her latent feelings interfere.

It wasn't that she'd fallen out of love with Jan. If anything, her love had deepened until it was a steady undercurrent of her life. The woman was constantly in her thoughts, but she'd forcibly tamped down her desire for her friend to manageable levels.

Only in the privacy of midnight thoughts did the longing to hold Jan in her arms, to make hours of gentle love to the older woman, and to see that love reflected back from emerald eyes, overwhelm her.

When daylight returned, Terry could again rejoice in the friendship that had grown between them. Jan had become her best friend and the brief moments of conversation when she dropped off mail, the evening visits with both her and Rob after her writing was done, their Saturday afternoons together, and even just long talks on the telephone made up the fabric of her days.

After finishing the first draft of her book only the weekend before, Jan and Rob had insisted on taking her out to dinner to celebrate. She and Rob had gotten giddy on several bottles of wine while Jan rolled her eyes at them, laughing at how much both of them were going to pay for their indulgence in the morning.

Terry grimaced as she remembered how right Jan had been. She couldn't even make it over to her parents place for Sunday dinner that night, and Michael had been conspicuously and gleefully loud when she'd finally dragged herself down to the kitchen in mid-afternoon.

She couldn't remember a time when she'd been more contented, and if fantasies about sharing a life with Jan often crossed her mind, she didn't feel she was hurting anyone. She'd come to a rough peace with knowing that Jan couldn't be hers. It surprised her, as she'd never been one to worship from afar or pursue a hopeless situation, but then she'd never met anyone who affected her as a certain auburn haired woman did.

Turning onto the Spencers' street, the Tin Can went into a fishtail and Terry quickly countered it before she slid up on the sidewalk. Heaving a sigh of relief, she navigated her way carefully to the curb in front of the small white and green bungalow.

Jogging up the walk, she was surprised to see the curtains still drawn. Ringing the doorbell, she waited but when Jan didn't answer, she decided to let herself in. Jan could be downstairs putting laundry in and she wouldn't be able to hear the bell. She grinned as she thought of Jan 'putting laundry in' but told herself sternly to get her mind out of the gutter.

Swinging the door open, Terry was immediately struck by how quiet the house was. Instead of a jibe from Rob about 'burglars' invading his house, there was dead silence. Not even a radio was playing in the back rooms. Surprised, she saw that the covering was still on the birdcage. Terry knew that Jan always uncovered the budgies as soon as she woke up.

"Jan, are you here?" Terry called, feeling slightly foolish as she did.

Kicking off her boots and dropping her skates by the door, she wandered through the house looking for her friends. Coming to the master bedroom, she was startled at its appearance. Jan was normally a very tidy housekeeper, but the bedroom looked as if a hurricane had hit it. Sheets were thrown on the floor, bits of plastic and paper were scattered on the disheveled bed, and closet doors were half-opened.

Uneasily, Terry backed out of the room, trying to decide what to do. She wished that she knew the phone number for Jan's sister, but she'd never even met the woman. Returning to the living room, she uncovered the birds and was met with indignant chirps.

"Yeah, I know, guys. Your family seems to have gone somewhere in a hurry. The question is where...and why?"

Terry checked the answering machine, hoping there might be a clue there but it was turned off. Biting her lip, she tried to ignore the gnawing worry in her belly. Deciding to leave Jan a note, she dashed off a message, asking her to call when she got home. She left it on the kitchen table, and then put her boots back on. Leaving her skates, she tried optimistically to believe she'd still get to use them this afternoon.

Turning to lock the door behind her, she noticed Jan's neighbour shoveling his walk. As she walked over to his house, the elderly man looked up and smiled at her.

"Hi, Mr. Edwards," Terry called.

"Hi, Terry. What are you doing in these parts on your day off, or is Canada Post delivering on Saturdays now?" The old man chortled at his own joke.

"No, sir. Actually, I was just going to visit with the Spencers..."

"Is he back from the hospital then?" Mr. Edwards asked with concern. "I thought when the ambulance took him..."

Terry gasped. "The ambulance? When? What happened? Where'd they take him?"

The old man blinked at the rapid-fire questions. "Well, I'm not sure where they took him, but it must have been around six-thirty this morning. I don't sleep so well anymore, you know, and I was up prowling about when I heard all the ruckus."

Terry tried to quell her trembling impatience, knowing she had to let the elderly gentleman tell it in his own way, but desperate to know what had happened.

"I looked out the window, and there was an ambulance with the lights going 'round, and a bunch of boys in blue pouring into the house. Then a couple of 'em came back for a stretcher and the next thing you know, they're taking somebody out. Now, I figure it had to be the young man, since that nice Mrs. Spencer was right behind them."

If she hadn't been so scared, Terry would have smiled at the description of Rob as 'young'. "Foothills, it had to be Foothills they took him to," she muttered to herself. "Thank, Mr. Edwards."

Turning, she ran back to her car, hearing the old man call after her, "If you see them, you give them my best wishes now. Such a nice couple they are."

*********

Terry burst through the Emergency doors, looking frantically around the waiting room for a familiar face. Not seeing Jan in the crowd, she headed for a window where a frazzled triage nurse was processing a long line of people. Impatiently, she stood in line, wanting nothing more than to rush the window and demand information, but knowing all it would get her was a rude dismissal.

Ten minutes later, after being curtly informed that they didn't give out patient information, she was directed to the processing desk. Again she stood in line, inwardly gnashing her teeth and outwardly trying to maintain a friendly façade.

"Excuse me, could you tell me if a Rob Spencer was brought in this morning by ambulance?" Terry appealed to the woman behind the window.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. We're not allowed to give out patient information."

Terry closed her eyes in frustration, damning all regulations to everlasting hell. Taking a deep breath, she asked, "Would it be breaking any rules to tell me if you've seen a short, redheaded, probably very distraught woman waiting around here, somewhere?"

A nurse passing behind Terry paused. "Are you looking for Mrs. Spencer?"

Terry whirled around. "Yes! Do you know where she is?"

"I put her in the private waiting room when they brought her husband in. It's the first door past the double doors on the right."

"Thanks!" Terry's gratitude for the information was quickly replaced by the driving need to find Jan. Walking swiftly down the hall, she passed the double doors and paused before a door unmarked except for a small room number.

Taking a deep breath, she quietly pushed the door open and saw Jan pacing the floor in a small, softly lit room as another woman perched on a couch talking to her.

Jan looked up and Terry was struck by the exhaustion on her face. Her eyes were red and swollen, and Terry felt a lump in her throat at the fear on her drawn face.

Terry wasn't sure who moved first, but a second later Jan was wrapped tightly in her embrace. She felt the smaller woman shake as her friend burrowed past Terry's open parka and into her body, burying her head in Terry's neck.

Rocking her slightly, Terry murmured meaningless words into auburn hair, feeling the dampness of tears on her throat. They stood together for long moments, taking mutual comfort in each other's arms.

Looking over Jan's head, Terry saw the other woman wiping away a tear. The taller, heavier woman had an unmistakable family resemblance to the woman in her arms, and Terry nodded her acknowledgement of Jan's sister.

Kate nodded back, a sad half-smile on her face. Jan stirred and Terry gently eased her back until she could see her face.

"Hey," she said softly. "Are you alright?"

Jan blinked away tears and gave a shaky smile. "I've had better days."

Terry brushed her thumbs over wet eyes and pushed Jan's hair back behind her ears. "C'mon, let's sit down and you can fill me in."

Terry steered Jan to the nearest couch, shucking off her coat on the way, and they settled down. Jan closed the tiny space between them, nestling under Terry's arm as the younger woman took her hand.

"Why don't you tell me what happened and how Rob is?" Terry coaxed.

"I don't know how Rob is yet. They're still working on him." Jan's eyes filled again, and Terry offered silent comfort by squeezing her hand and hugging her tightly.

"The doctor was in once, but he didn't have much information for us yet," the other woman spoke up. "I'm Kate, by the way."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Jan said in chagrin. "Terry, this is my sister Kate. Kate, this is my best friend, Terry."

"Hi, Kate. It's nice to finally meet you, though I wish it wasn't under these circumstances."

"It's nice to meet you too," Kate said politely. "I've heard so much about you and your family."

"She's been telling tales out of school, has she?" Terry teased gently, pleased when she coaxed a small smile out of Jan.

"I'm going to go get us some coffee. Terry, would you like some?" Kate stood, diplomatically giving the friends some time together.

"Yes please. Just cream." Terry watched Kate leave and then turned to face Jan. Firmly, she took both of her hands and waited.

"How did you know we were here, Terry?" Jan asked curiously.

"I went to your place hoping for blueberry pancakes and your neighbour told me about the ambulance taking Rob away. I guessed it was going to Foothills since it's the closest hospital, but I was on my way to Rockyview next if I couldn't find you here. What happened this morning? When I talked to you last night, I thought he just had a bad cold."

"That's what I thought too," Jan sighed and looked down at their interlocked hands. "He's had a rough week and hasn't been getting much sleep with the coughing and all. We were awake until about three this morning but then he finally fell asleep. When I woke up, he was still sleeping so I thought I'd grab a shower first and let him sleep in. When I did try and wake him up, he wouldn't open his eyes. I shook him and shook him, but I couldn't wake him up."

Jan choked back a sob and Terry raised their hands to her lips, softly kissing the smaller hands resting in hers, trying to convey love and reassurance. Jan tightened her grip on the younger woman's hands and continued.

"I called 911 and they were there so fast, Terry. They swarmed all over him, sticking tubes in everywhere. Then they loaded him into an ambulance and we came here. All we've heard so far is that he's in serious condition, but that they've stabilized him. That was about a half hour ago and we're still waiting for more information."

Jan looked up and Terry could see the fear in her eyes. "Ter, his breathing was so raspy, like he was working for every breath. How could I have slept through that? Maybe if I'd woken up sooner and noticed something was wrong he wouldn't be in such bad condition now."

"Hey! None of that! This is not your fault. You were exhausted and no one blames you for getting what sleep you could. Even if you'd woken up sooner, you would've thought it was just the cold making him raspy and let him sleep." Terry hoped her stern words would get through to her friend. "Listen, he's going to be fine. He's in the best place he can be right now...you know that."

Jan nodded but Terry could still see the uncertainty on her face. She decided to change the subject. Softly she asked, "Why didn't you call me once you were here?"

Jan ducked her head guiltily and mumbled something. Terry released her hand and tilted her face up. With a slight smile she asked, "What was that?"

Jan sighed and said sheepishly, "I wanted to but I didn't think I should bother you that early. I just called Kate and she came right over." Hastily she added, "I was going to call later, honest!"

Terry shook her head in gentle rebuke. "You can call me anytime, for anything. Don't you know that by now?"

Terry could tell by the way Jan bit her lip and looked up at her through lowered eyes that she really didn't know that. Fiercely, she pulled her friend into a hug, determined to let Jan know that she'd always be there for her, and for Rob too. She felt Jan sink into her embrace as the other woman wrapped her arms tightly around her.

They were still locked together when Kate pushed through the door, balancing three coffee cups and closely followed by a doctor in blue scrubs.

Jan stiffened and sat upright, staring at the doctor fearfully. Kate set two Styrofoam cups in front of the women and took her place in a chair as the doctor sat opposite her.

Leaning forward, the doctor looked at Jan compassionately. "Mrs. Spencer, we're going to be moving your husband to Intensive Care in a few moments, and once he's set up in there, you can see him."

"Is he going to be alright?" Jan beseeched the doctor.

"He's in serious condition, Mrs. Spencer and he's going to be in the ICU for a few days before we can move him onto a regular ward. He has viral pneumonia with a probable bladder infection to complicate matters. As you know, his MS has radically reduced his lung capacity and ability to breathe, and with his compromised immune system, we have to be careful not to overlook any potential complications. I'm afraid you're looking at a few weeks in the hospital at least."

"But he will recover, right?" Jan's shaky voice begged for reassurance.

The doctor started to speak, but hesitated as if to choose his words carefully. He bit his lip and then gently spoke. "We've started him on a full course of IV antibiotics and we're confident that we'll get the pneumonia under control. However, I think you have to understand that your husband's health is very precarious. Each time he deals with a crisis like this, it leaves him weaker and more susceptible to opportunistic infections, which in turn deprive him of even more of his limited strength. There are some further issues that will have to be addressed but for now, we'll deal with the immediate problems."

Terry felt Jan shiver under her arm and unconsciously tightened her hold, lending her friend strength to face the doctor's bleak assessment.

With a quick look at her sister, Kate stared intently at the doctor and asked, "Are we talking about a life-threatening situation with Rob right now, Doctor?"

Jan glanced gratefully at her sister, and Terry knew she needed to hear the answer to a question she'd been afraid to ask.

The doctor glanced between the women, and addressed his answer to all of them. "I don't think I'm telling you anything you don't know when I say that Mr. Spencer has already beaten the odds by living with the acute nature of his chronic-progressive MS as long as he has. It isn't my area of specialty, and I certainly wouldn't try to put an exact time frame on it, but to answer your question—yes, I would say that every time he has to deal with a crisis like this, his life hangs in the balance."

Looking directly at Jan now, he went on, "Mrs. Spencer, have you and Mr. Spencer ever discussed issues such as directed care and living wills? Do you know what his wishes are in such situations?"

Jan nodded, saying softly, "He doesn't want extraordinary measures. He always said if it came to that, I wasn't to keep him hanging around on machines. I was to let him go."

"Then they'll probably ask you about putting a DNR on his records once he's set up in the ICU, Mrs. Spencer. I think you should be prepared for that. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back. If you want to move to the ICU waiting room down the hall, they'll let you know when you can see him. I should warn you that he'll be unaware of you or his surroundings for probably the next day or so, but he should start responding to the antibiotics fairly quickly and you'll see an improvement."

The doctor left, and the three women sat quietly, absorbing his words. Terry felt stunned. Rob had always exuded such vitality despite his physical condition that it was hard to accept that the doctor had spoken in such imminent terms of his death.

Glancing at the woman leaning against her, she saw tears rolling unchecked down Jan's cheeks. Grabbing a couple of tissues from the handy box beside her, she wiped gently at her friend's face.

Kate came over and knelt in front of her sister. "Hey, Jannie. You know the doctors have written that stubborn husband of yours off before. They were wrong then, they're probably wrong now. Why don't we go down to the ICU waiting room like the doctor said? You'll feel much better once you can see him."

Jan nodded wordlessly and Terry stood, pulling her up as well. The three women picked up their coats and left the room, looking for the ICU waiting area. Finding it down the hall, they entered a large room with separate seat groupings and four smaller rooms set off from the main area. A large fish tank was set opposite the door, and pillows and blankets were scattered haphazardly around the room.

There were a dozen or so people in the room and the air of controlled anxiety was palpable. Noticing a phone on the wall, Terry said, "I'm just going to give Mom a call. I'll be with you in a minute."

Leaving the sisters to find their seats in the corner of the sun-lit room, Terry dialed an outside line. When her mother answered, all Terry could choke out was, "Mom."

"Terry? Terry, what's wrong?" Emily's worried voice rang in her ear, as Terry tried to bring her emotions under control. "Sweetheart, please. What's wrong? Where are you?"

"Mom, I'm at Foothills." Terry could hear her mother gasp as she hastened to reassure her. "No, Mom, I'm okay. It's Rob."

"What's wrong with Rob? Are you there with Jan? Is she alright?" The sound of Emily's voice steadied her, as Terry gathered herself together and related the whole story of the morning's events.

She could hear her little brother in the background, demanding to know what was going on. When she'd brought her mother up to date, she felt a tremendous sense of relief. In sharing the burden, she'd halved it and she knew she could depend on her mother for support and common sense.

"Terry, Jordy and I are leaving right now. We'll meet you all as quickly as we can get there."

"Thanks, Mom."

Terry hung up, feeling immense gratitude for the unqualified support her mother offered. Returning to her companions, she sat beside Jan who'd curled up in the corner of a couch. Terry couldn't help admiring the wintry morning sunbeams dancing off auburn hair and picking up the gold highlights, but when Jan turned sad, questioning eyes to her, she was abruptly reminded of why they were here.

"I talked to Mom. She and Jordy are on their way."

"That's so nice of them, Ter. You didn't have to ask them to do that." Jan leaned slightly towards the younger woman and Terry responded by taking a willing hand, squeezing it gently.

"Ask them?" Terry snorted a little. "Like a herd of elephants could've stopped Mom once she heard what was going on!" The two women grinned a little at the thought of a determined Emily. "Besides, you know Jordy will want to see Rob too."

The three women passed long minutes in desultory small talk, waiting for word that Rob had been settled in the ICU so they could see him. Each time the waiting room door opened, they all looked up eagerly, hoping it would be a nurse letting them know it was time to go in.

Emily and Jordy arrived twenty minutes after Terry had called. Emily marched right up to Jan and swept her into a big hug, murmuring words of comfort and reassurance. Jordy awkwardly patted Jan's hand, his youthful uncertainty quite evident. Introductions were made as the two newcomers met Kate, and the small party settled back to continue waiting.

Half an hour later a nurse entered and quietly called out, "Spencer?"

Jan stood instantly and the nurse walked over to them. "Mrs. Spencer? Mr. Spencer is in the ICU now and you can go in to see him. We'd prefer you keep your visit short however, and only two people at a time."

"Kate, why don't you go with Jan and we'll wait our turn here," Terry suggested. She was unwilling to leave Jan's side but uncomfortably aware that Kate was family and she wasn't.

Kate nodded and stood to follow Jan who was close on the nurse's heels. Once the two women were out of the room, Emily turned to her daughter and asked, "How's she doing, Terry?"

"She's scared, Mom. I get the feeling that not being able to wake him up this morning terrified her, and I don't think it's helping matters that the doctors can't give her a more optimistic outlook."

Emily nodded gravely but before she could go on, Jordy blurted, "He's not dying, is he, Ter?"

Terry looked compassionately at her younger brother. He was too young to remember when their grandparents had died in a car accident and the pain their mother had gone through at the loss of her parents. His only exposure to death was the usual childhood trauma of short-lived hamsters and an old black alley cat that had chosen their yard to expire in. Now he was faced with the mortality of a man he idolized and he didn't know how to handle it.

Choosing her words carefully, Terry said, "Jordy, you know Rob isn't in very good health, right?"

The young man nodded reluctantly as his sister went on.

"We all tend to overlook the truth of his condition because he's such a vital man in other ways, but Rob is close to the end of a very long battle. He's fought this disease longer than you've been alive, but ultimately he can't win."

Terry saw her brother's eyes begin to fill and she looked helplessly at her mother. Emily leaned forward to place a hand on her son's knee.

"Jordy, it's okay. It's not fair what's happening to him and it's alright to be sad and angry about that, but they'll do the best they can for him here, and we'll just pray that he'll be all right this time. In the mean time, you can best honour him by being strong for Jan, because she's going to need our support now."

Jordy scrubbed angrily at his eyes and tried to pretend he wasn't crying. Terry nudged a box of tissues surreptitiously across the coffee table in his direction, and he grabbed a handful, blowing his nose furiously.

Terry watched her little brother, filled with love for this sensitive young man. She knew his big heart would cause him endless grief once he became a pediatrician, but she also knew it would make him an outstanding doctor. She hoped he would remember the unspoken lessons Rob had taught him these past months about facing adversity with courage and grace. Her musings were interrupted as Kate came back into the waiting room and joined them.

Her face somber and eyes sad, Kate said, "Terry, could you give Jan a ride home when she's ready to go? She insists she can take a cab, and I've got to get home as I'm committed to taking my son and his friends to a school basketball tournament today."

"Sure, no problem, Kate. I was planning on staying with her anyway," Terry assured the woman. Kate nodded with relief and stood to leave.

Emily smiled approvingly at her daughter. "Why don't I go in next and then Jordy, if you're planning on staying with Jan?"

"Sure, Mom. You guys go ahead and I'll wait my turn."

After both Emily and Jordy returned from their brief visits with Rob, visibly upset with what they'd seen, Terry went down the short hall and through the double doors into the ICU.

Stopping at the desk, she asked for Rob's bed number and was directed to the far end of the room by the window. She passed a dozen cubicles, marveling at all the machinery humming, whirring and clicking around her.

Coming up to the open end of Rob's cubicle, she slowed her pace and watched Jan leaning over her husband, stroking his hair and talking quietly to him. Rob's eyes were closed, and tubes ran into his mouth and nose. More tubes were attached to his arms and wires ran from flat circles pasted to his chest to wall monitors with ominous red lines and numbers flashing continuously.

Terry felt a large lump rise in her throat as she saw how pale and still the man appeared. It was the stillness that overwhelmed Terry. Rob was always bubbling with jokes, stories and friendly insults, his eyes sparkling as he confronted life head on, daring it to get the better of him. Now for the first time, Terry could clearly see how vulnerable he was to the disease that was stealing his life away.

A nurse sitting at a computer at the end of the cubicle glanced up at Terry curiously, and she edged in that direction, not wanting to interrupt Jan although she had a hunch the older woman, so completely focused on her husband, wouldn't have noticed the Stampede Marching Band parade through the ICU.

The nurse entered another command on her computer and then turned to face Terry.

"Is he all right?" Terry asked, slightly embarrassed at posing such an obvious question.

The nurse smiled reassuringly. "We've got him stabilized, and he's already had a full course of antibiotics. He woke up briefly when we moved him to his bed, but he's pretty exhausted. I wouldn't expect much awareness out of him before tomorrow at least, but I doubt that he'll have to be in here more than a couple of days before we can move him to a regular ward."

Terry nodded gratefully and then moved behind Jan who glanced up at her with a quick smile before turning her attention back to Rob. For a long while, Terry listened as Jan spoke softly to Rob about everything and nothing as the nurse periodically entered the cubicle to check the monitors and adjust settings.

Finally, the nurse stopped and addressed Jan. "Mrs. Spencer, he'll be out of it for the rest of the day. Why don't you go home and get some rest yourself? Come back tomorrow and he'll know you're here then."

Jan frowned slightly, and Terry thought she might reject the suggestion. Cutting off any potential objections, Terry urged, "C'mon, Jan. Let me take you home now. He'll be fine and you're not going to be any good to him if you pass out from exhaustion yourself."

Jan raised tired eyes to Terry's concerned face, studying it for a moment before nodding her reluctant acquiescence. Leaning over she gently kissed Rob's forehead and caressed his hair one last time, before allowing Terry to lead her away.

*********

Terry stared up at the ceiling of the guest room, listening to Jan move restlessly around the house. In the hours since she'd brought Jan home from the hospital, the redhead hadn't been able to settle in one place for more than ten minutes at a time, and Terry had gotten tired just watching her.

She'd resisted any urgings to nap, claiming that her mind was too wrought-up to relax. Terry had ordered a pizza for their dinner and Jan had barely picked at it. She'd nodded absently when Terry announced she'd be staying overnight, not even bothering to protest that she'd be fine alone. The young woman knew she was running on automatic pilot and wondered when the impact of the day would set in.

Glancing over at the bedside clock, Terry saw that it was closing in on one AM. Sighing, she pushed back her covers and stood up. If Jan was going to wander all night, the least she could do is keep her company. Opening her bedroom door, she listened for a moment but couldn't hear Jan. Walking down the hall, she turned the corner into the living room and saw her friend standing in the dark at the kitchen window, quietly watching the falling snow.

Terry came up behind her, whispering a soft "hey" so she didn't scare the other woman. Jan glanced back at her and gave her a weary smile. Terry stood behind her, gently rubbing the back of the older woman's neck and feeling the tenseness of the muscles there.

Jan exhaled softly and leaned back. Terry stepped closer and wrapped her arms around Jan's shoulders as the older woman relaxed against her body. They stood in silence, watching the soft glow of the white landscape.

"Looks like I'm gonna have to do some shoveling tomorrow," Terry finally offered.

Jan gave a slight chuckle, and then said, "I've always loved the light reflected off the snow at night. It's like the whole world has been scrubbed clean and all the ugliness hidden under a beautiful blanket."

Terry rubbed her cheek against the soft hair nestled against her neck and murmured her agreement. She was content to hold Jan and give the woman a safe place to talk, or not, as she desired. Jan was quiet for long moments before she spoke again.

"I thought I was ready, you know? All these years, I've tried to condition myself to thoughts of his death. Thought it would make it easier when the time came. It hasn't."

Terry tightened her hold and said softly, "It's not necessarily his time, Jan. They said he should only be in there for a few weeks."

Jan gave a short, bitter laugh. "Not this time, no, but what about next time or the time after that? I'm not stupid, Terry. I can see how he's deteriorated over the last year. No one comes right out and says it, but we all know his time is limited."

Terry had no answer for that, no bland reassurances to rebut the truth of Jan's words, so she just rocked the woman gently, trying to let her know she didn't have to face this alone. Jan reached a hand up to stroke the strong arms that comforted her.

"I can't tell you how many time I've woken up in the middle of the night and listened for his breathing, desperately afraid to move until I heard him. Or the times when I couldn't hear him and I'd reach out to touch him, sure that his skin would be cold and that he'd slipped away from me in the night. Do you know what I've always prayed for?"

Jan didn't wait for a response as she went on. "I've always prayed that he'd have an easy death, that he'd die peacefully in his sleep rather than plugged into tubes and machines."

Terry felt as much as heard the choked sob, and she quickly turned the smaller body in her arms, pulling her into a close hug. Jan returned the embrace, her arms going around the younger woman tightly as she laid her head against Terry's shoulder.

They stood together for a long time, Terry staring out the window while she stroked the woman's hair and back comfortingly. Eventually Jan pulled back and ruefully rubbed the shoulder she'd been resting on.

"I seem to be making a habit of crying all over you today," she said as she patted the damp shirt.

"That's okay," Terry grinned. "It's Rob's shirt anyways."

That got a soft chuckle, and when Terry asked, "Do you think you might be able to sleep now?" Jan nodded weary assent.

Terry led her down the hall to the master bedroom. She'd remade the bed earlier with fresh sheets and now she turned back the quilt and fluffed the pillows.

An amused voice asked, "Are you going to tuck me in too?"

"Yup," Terry answered with a grin. "And if you're real good, I might even throw in a bedtime story."

Jan kicked off her slippers and tossed her robe at the foot of the bed before sliding between the sheets. Terry pulled the quilt up and tucked it around the exhausted woman before sitting on the edge of the bed.

"So what'll it be? Goldilocks? Billy Goat Gruff? Rumpelstiltskin?" Terry bantered as Jan rolled over to face her.

"I've always liked 'The Selfish Giant'," Jan murmured tiredly.

"Ah yes, Oscar Wilde and the redeeming power of love. Good choice. Okay, so once upon a time, in a land far, far away, children loved to play in a beautiful garden. But one day the mean, selfish giant who owned the garden came back from a trip and saw the children playing there..."

Terry lightly rubbed the other woman's back as she deliberately kept her voice low and soft. As she continued with the old story, she watched Jan's eyelids flutter and close and before she reached the end, she heard the deep, regular breathing that told her the other woman had finally ended a very long day.

She continued to stroke Jan's back until a big yawn reminded her that her own day had also been very long. Reluctantly she stood and with a final gentle caress to Jan's face, she turned and walked out of the room, never looking back at the empty expanse on the other side of the bed.

Chapter Nineteen

Jan smiled at Jordy, slipping gratefully into the chair he pulled out. They'd just left the packed dance floor and made their way through the lively crowd to their table.

"Would you like some punch, Jan?" The young man's earnest concern for her every whim amused the older woman, but she tried hard to conceal it. She nodded and Jordy disappeared into the mass of wedding guests, intent on finding her some refreshments.

Wincing, she kicked off her shoes and rubbed her right foot with her left. Jordy hadn't been kidding when he warned Rob that he couldn't dance. Jan chuckled as she remembered the scene at the hospital a few days ago.

Jan had been sitting with Rob, who had improved enough to be moved to a regular ward, when Terry and Jordy dropped by. Talk soon turned to the wedding coming up that weekend, and Jan asked Terry if she'd take their gift for Duncan and Karen since they wouldn't be able to attend.

"Whoa, love. Just because I can't go doesn't mean you shouldn't," Rob stated emphatically.

Jan's eyes filled as she picked up Rob's thin, cool, inert hand, cradling it between her warm palms. She'd been so afraid for him only days ago, and here he was urging her to get out and have fun. Softly, she raised his hands and kissed his knuckles, trying to convey her gratitude for his consideration and regret that he couldn't be with her.

Jan's reflections were interrupted as someone dropped into the chair beside her and an amused voice asked, "Where's your date?"

The redhead beamed as Terry rocked back in her chair and balanced herself against the edge of the table. "He's off finding us something to drink. Dancing is hard work, you know."

Terry chuckled. "How's he doing anyway? Did any of my lessons take?"

"Depends," Jan replied ruefully. "Did your lessons include 'how to tenderize your partner's feet'?"

The young woman groaned and shook her head. "I tried, Jan, really I tried. I swear my baby brother was born with two left feet."

Jan laughed. "Don't worry about it. He's trying very hard and I am having a lot of fun. He keeps apologizing to me so sweetly and telling me that you're the dancer in the family."

Terry shrugged. "Well, I do enjoy it. Always have."

"Hmm, maybe I'll have to drag you out there sometime tonight then," Jan said, only half-teasing.

Terry looked at her startled, but then nodded gravely. "It would be my honour to dance with the loveliest lady here."

It was Jan's turn to look surprised, but she felt a warm flood of pleasure at her friend's words. Fumbling for a response, she fingered the fine gold chain around her neck and said, "I want to thank you again for your beautiful gift. They match my dress perfectly."

"I'm glad you like them," Terry said sincerely. "They set off your eyes really well too."

The two women smiled at each other warmly as Jan's finger traced the tiny oval ammonite jewel cradled in a delicate gold setting. Matching earrings reflected the deep green and gold depths of the stones. Terry had given Jan the gift wrapped in bright Christmas paper when she and Jordy had come by to pick her up for the wedding earlier that day.

"You have exquisite taste, Ter, but then I guess you've had lots of practice picking out jewelry, eh?" Jan teased her friend gently.

"Actually, no. Or at least only for my mother," Terry answered her seriously.

Jan raised an eyebrow. She hadn't expected that response, and she was even more touched at her friend's thoughtfulness. She was about to say more when a look of alarm crossed Terry's face and the young woman bolted upright.

"Damn! Here he comes again. I've got to get out of here. I'll see you later." With that, Terry scrambled away from the table and disappeared into the crowd.

Jan looked after her vanishing friend with astonishment just as Jordy returned carefully bearing two over-filled glasses of punch.

As he set one before Jan, she turned to him and said, "What in heaven's name has gotten into your sister? She took off out of here like a bat out of hell!"

Jordy glanced up to where a tall, heavy man with thinning blond hair and a droopy mustache was lumbering after his rapidly escaping sister.

"Oh no!" he groaned. "I was really hoping he wouldn't show up. Damn, he's going to ruin Terry's whole night!"

Alarmed, Jan looked closer at the man who'd caught up with her friend when Terry was blocked in by a group of inebriated celebrants. He'd grabbed hold of her arm and dragged the reluctant young woman into the dancing.

"Who is he, Jordy? And what's going on between him and Terry?" Jan asked intently, not at all liking how her friend was being manhandled.

"That's Karen's cousin, Roy. We all met at Duncan and Karen's engagement party this summer, and for some reason he fixated on Terry that night. He's a farmer from somewhere north of the city and he decided that Terry was perfect wife material. Geez, she wouldn't give him the time of day and we all thought he'd forget about it." Jordy shook his head at the misguided man.

Jan looked at him in astonishment. "Didn't anyone tell him that Terry doesn't play for his team?"

Jordy snorted in derision, "Everyone told him that, but for one thing, Roy isn't the sharpest tack in the box, and for another thing, he didn't believe it anyhow. Terry had just broken up with Marika and she didn't bring a date to the party, so he thought it was just an excuse to get rid of him."

"I'm surprised she didn't bring a date to the wedding," Jan said, even as she was uncomfortably aware that she was glad Terry hadn't. "Maybe if he saw her with a woman first-hand, he'd leave her alone."

"You're probably right," Jordy agreed. "But I haven't seen Terry bring anyone home for Sunday dinner in months now. Dunno what's gotten into her lately, but even Michael mentioned that she's been flying solo for ages."

Jordy shook his head at his sister's unusual and unaccountable behaviour, and then frowned as he saw Roy pulling Terry close even as she could be seen arguing with him.

"That's it! I've had enough. I'm going to grab Alex and Matt, and we're going to convince him that Terry's off limits." Jordy started to get to his feet, when a firm hand halted him.

"Jordy, I don't think Terry wants a fuss on Duncan and Karen's big day. Why don't you let me handle this?"

Jordy gaped at Jan. "You can't take him on! He's a man-mountain!"

Jan sighed. "Well I don't intend to punch his lights out, Jordy. I have a better idea."

Slipping her wedding ring off, she pressed it into her companion's hand. "Here, hold this for me. I'll be back for it later."

Jordy nodded his agreement, curiosity written all over his young face. Jan smiled reassuringly at him, wiggled her feet back into her shoes and set out to rescue her friend.

Wending her way through the dancers, she came up behind the unwilling partners and tapped Roy on a massive shoulder. When he turned, an inquisitive look on his face, she said sweetly, "May I cut in?"

Roy grinned and let go of Terry. As he extended his hand to Jan, she neatly slipped around him and into Terry's arms.

"Darling, I've been wondering where you were. Honestly, you invite me to the wedding and then you abandon your date to your brother. It's time you made up for your neglect."

Jan almost laughed out loud at the bewildered look on the young woman's face. Seizing the initiative, she pressed closely to Terry, settled one arm over her shoulder while taking her hand and whirled her out across the floor to the strains of a slow waltz.

Slowly, a grin spread across Terry's face and she glanced over Jan's shoulder at her abandoned partner. Leaning her head against Jan's, she whispered with a small chuckle, "He looks like someone pole-axed him."

Jan giggled, delighted that her rescue plan had gone like clockwork. She felt Terry take control, smoothly dancing her around the floor and she smiled at the joy of a long-lost pleasure. She hadn't really danced since she'd met Rob, but there was a time that she couldn't be pried off the dance floor until the last song ended.

Leaning back a little in her partner's arms, she smiled at Terry. "You know, you look really good tonight. Not as good as you'd have looked in that little black number of course, but Michael did well by you."

Michael had outfitted Terry in a pewter gray silk classically tailored pantsuit, with a charcoal gray camisole peeking out from under the jacket. Black demi-boots and elegantly simple silver earrings finished off her ensemble.

Jan, accustomed to Terry in her uniform or casual clothes, was truly impressed at how attractively the clothes flattered the young woman's long, lean lines. She really couldn't blame Roy for wanting to get up close and personal with her dance partner, even if she had been ready to hit him over the head with a chair if he didn't take his hands off her friend.

Terry ducked her head self-consciously but her dark eyes twinkled at the woman in her arms. "I clean up alright then, do I?"

"Oh yes," Jan agreed emphatically. "You most certainly do!"

When the music ended, Terry started to lead her partner off the floor, but Jan resisted. When Terry looked back in surprise, Jan smiled and asked appealingly, "Another, please?"

Terry glanced involuntarily around the crowded hall, but Jan shook her head vigorously. "I don't care, Terry. I'm having fun dancing with my best friend and if she's having fun too, why should anyone else's opinion matter?"

A slow smile crossed Terry's face as she stepped closer and drew Jan back into her arms. "Why indeed?" she murmured as the music started up again.

Content to quietly follow the silky smooth lead of her partner, Jan's thoughts whirled in chaotic turmoil as she considered her pleasure and complete lack of self-consciousness at dancing with another woman.

She told herself that she was only protecting her feet from her enthusiastic but endearingly klutzy date, or that she simply appreciated an excellent partner especially after so many years of not having the opportunity to dance, but her inborn honesty wouldn't allow her to accept the simplistic rationalization.

Jan knew, deep within herself that Roy had only been a convenient excuse for doing exactly what she'd wanted to anyway. She was delighting in the strong, confident arms that held her, guiding her skillfully around the other dancers.

Terry pulled her closer as a rambunctious couple intruded on their space, spinning gracefully away from imminent collision. Jan made no effort to pull back, feeling the heat of the long body pressed against her. She fought the urge to lay her head against Terry's shoulder but breathed deeply, enjoying the warm, clean scent of her partner.

She was quite willing to spend the rest of the night dancing with her friend but when the music ended, the DJ announced that it was time for the bouquet to be thrown and Jan reluctantly turned back to her table.

When Terry trailed after her, Jan stopped and with her hands on her hips, turned and stared at her friend, who returned the look with puzzlement.

"What??" Terry asked curiously.

"Exactly what do you think you're doing, young lady?" Jan inquired with mock severity.

"Um...walking you to our table?"

"No, you're not. You're going to march your cute butt back out on that floor with the rest of the single women and catch the darned bouquet!"

Terry groaned, then brightened perceptibly. "You think I have a cute butt?"

Jan broke out laughing, shook her head and spun her friend around. Slapping Terry on the subject body part, she pushed her back towards the gathering crowd of women.

Terry looked over her shoulder beseechingly, but Jan pointed firmly at the centre of the floor. She couldn't help grinning at the adorable pout on the young woman as she returned to her table and sat down beside Jordy who'd been joined by Emily and Gord.

"I can't believe you talked her into going out there," Emily smirked. "When Alex and Diane got married, she did a ten minute rant on why such ridiculous rituals demeaned everyone taking part in them."

"Well, I suppose it is a little silly," Jan admitted with a smile. "But I couldn't resist."

Jordy chimed in, "Besides, Roy has probably been up there rigging the bouquet to land right in Terry's hands."

Everyone chuckled at Karen's hapless cousin, and then watched as the bride tossed her flowers high and far, over the head of the crowd directly at Terry.

The flowers hit the young woman squarely in the chest and slid to the floor, uncaught. Karen's young niece scrambled to pick up the bouquet while Terry retreated from it like it was a live grenade.

Jordy convulsed with giggles while hoots and cheers went up from the crowd. Jan could see the blush on Terry's face from where she sat and she briefly regretted pushing her friend into it. She was relieved to see Terry return to their table with an abashed grin. When the woman dropped into the chair beside her, Jan nudged her and whispered, "No hard feelings?"

Terry regarded her with amused eyes and whispered back, "Paybacks, lady, paybacks!"

They chuckled together and turned their attention to Gord, who was relating a story of ending up at the wrong church earlier in the afternoon, and only barely getting to the right one on time for the ceremony.

Jan saw Emily roll her eyes but smile with affectionate exasperation at her husband. Jan returned her attention to Gord, but several moments later felt Emily's eyes on her. Looking up, she saw the older woman watching her intently, a worried look in her usually warm eyes.

Startled, she focused on her friend, trying to interpret Emily's concern, but as soon as the older woman saw that she'd been noticed, she tapped her husband on the shoulder and asked him for a dance. As Emily and Gord left the table to join the dancers, Jan puzzled over what that look had been about, but abandoned her musings when Jordy stood and offered his hand.

As the young man led her back out on the floor, she glanced back at Terry, who grinned and mouthed, 'Paybacks!'

For the rest of the evening, Jan alternated dances between Jordy and Terry, always managing to stay out on the floor longer with her best friend who didn't appear to object at all.

She was concerned about Roy, who spent most of the evening downing beer at the bar and staring malevolently at Terry, but Jordy had enlisted the rest of the family to help run interference.

The Sanderson clan threw up a protective cordon around the young woman, and even Matt took his hands off his curvaceous, platinum blonde date long enough to dance with his sister once. Somewhat to her exasperation, Terry was never left alone, even when she went to the ladies room.

Jan strove to make her claim on the young woman clear to the deluded farmer, leaning close to the tall brunette, whispering intimately in her ear and dragging her out to the dance floor at every opportunity.

A couple of hours after the newlyweds had departed to the cheers and catcalls of their guests, the party began to wind down. Most of the guests, including Matt and his date, had departed when Jan pitched in with the Sandersons to help clear away some of the detritus of the celebration.

Streamers and balloons were pulled off walls and pillars. Dirty plates and glasses were packed off to the kitchen where Emily was directing traffic and Diane was filling the dishwasher. Jordy and Alex grabbed brooms and began pushing piles of litter to the centre of the room where Gord and Terry were filling large garbage bags.

On her sixth trip into the kitchen, Jan gratefully accepted a proffered cup and sank down in a chair beside Emily. Diane left the room in search of a phone to call her sitter, and the two women sat together companionably, enjoying the strong coffee.

"It was a wonderful wedding, Emily. I had a marvelous time and I haven't danced like that in more years than I can remember."

Emily laughed and glanced at the piles of dirty dishes stacked on every available surface even as the dishwasher could be heard running another load. "It did go well, didn't it? Now if only we had our own personal genie to wink this mess all away."

Jan chuckled and took another sip of the hot liquid. "Maybe if we leave it all overnight, the cleaning elves will take care of it."

"No such luck, I'm afraid. I always tried that theory on the boys' rooms, but the mess never once disappeared overnight."

"What about Terry's room?" Jan asked curiously, wondering if her friend's sloppiness was a lifelong trait.

Emily snorted. "Terry was worse than all three of the older boys put together, but she had a knack for hiding things in the strangest places when she knew I was going on the cleaning warpath. All the kids were supposed to bring their laundry down to the basement for washday, but that daughter of mine... Do you know I once found a week's worth of dirty socks and underwear stuffed down the heating register in her room? Honestly, if I hadn't smelled something funny when I was changing her sheets, she might have burnt the whole house down! Another time, I found a half eaten sandwich stuffed in the toe of a dirty old sneaker. When I asked her why, she looked up at me with these big innocent eyes and said she knew I wouldn't want her to waste food so she was saving it for when she was really hungry."

Jan burst out laughing, picturing her friend as a curly haired urchin with bright mischievous dark eyes, getting in trouble every time she turned around.

"Mother!" Terry groaned from the doorway. "You are not telling tales on me, are you?"

Emily smiled sweetly at her daughter and just took another sip of her coffee. Terry shook her head in despair and grinned at her unrepentant parent.

"Got any more of that coffee?" the young woman asked as she spun a chair around and straddled it.

"Depends. Did you finish getting the hall tidied up?" Emily asked, even as she poured her daughter a cup and pushed it across the table to her.

"Yeah. Dad, Alex and Jordy are piling the bags out by the dumpster. I think we can leave the rest of the clean up until tomorrow. If we come back in the morning, we'll have it all done by noon and still have lots of time to see Duncan and Karen off at the airport."

"Where are they going on their honeymoon?" Jan asked curiously. The last she'd heard, they were still trying to decide between Cancun and Costa Rica.

"Believe or not, they got a fabulous last minute deal on a Mediterranean cruise. As soon as Karen heard about it, she put down their deposit. She said she was tired of waiting for Duncan to make up his mind and if she left it to him, they'd end up ice-fishing for their honeymoon." Emily sighed in exasperation at her son's proclivity for procrastination.

"Yup, sounds like ole Dunc has the ball and chain firmly attached to his ankle now," Terry chortled.

"Don't be laughing at your brother, Teresa Lauren! Your turn will come," Emily chided. "Besides, Karen is exactly what Duncan needs. That boy would daydream his way through life given half a chance."

"Well, can't argue with that. Dunc always did have his head in the clouds, but as for my turn coming someday...no way! I'm not getting tied down!" Terry shook her head, shuddering at the thought.

"Oh yes, daughter of mine. Someday, some woman is going to wrap you right around her little finger, and you're going to be just as helpless against her as your brothers are against their wives," Emily stated firmly, but with a distinct twinkle in her eye.

Jan sat back, sipping her coffee and enjoying the affectionate banter between her companions. Terry had just opened her mouth to rebut her mother's assertion, when Jordy poked his head through the kitchen's swinging doors.

"Hey, you two. Alex's battery died so I'm going to go with Dad and help him boost it. Then I'll warm up the car and bring it around by the back door. How 'bout I pick you up there in ten minutes or so?"

"Thanks, Jordy," Jan said. "You're such a sweetheart. We'll be ready to go when you are."

Jordy ducked his head but Jan swore she could see the blush right up to the roots of his sandy hair. He mumbled something unintelligible and made a rapid retreat.

Emily smiled fondly after her youngest. "I take it Jordy is your designated driver tonight?"

Terry grinned. "Yeah, the runt figured he wouldn't get away with swiping beer under your nose anyway, so he volunteered."

Emily snorted her agreement with that sentiment as her daughter asked, "Anything more we can do here, Mom?"

Emily shook her head and stood, surveying the kitchen. "I'm going to put in one more load of dishes before your father and I leave, but everything else can be left until the morning. You two go ahead and I'll see you later."

Terry dropped a quick kiss on her mother's cheek then held the kitchen door open for Jan, who smiled and bade Emily goodnight before brushing past the young woman.

They headed for the cloakroom, and Jan noted that they were the last of the stragglers. It made it easier to find their coats and Terry courteously held her long, thick gray wool overcoat while she slipped into it. As she buttoned it, she couldn't help smiling at the bright multi-coloured scarf Terry pulled out of her coat sleeve, wrapping it several times around her neck. Somehow it reminded her of the little girl who'd hidden her sandwiches and dirty underwear, and she felt a rush of affection for her friend.

Terry glanced up and caught Jan's expression. "What, don't you like my scarf? I'll have you know my great-aunt knitted that for me."

"It's lovely, Ter," Jan assured her. "No, I was just thinking about what a wonderful night it's been."

Terry's expression softened and she smiled the half cocky, half shy smile that Jan found so endearing. "Yeah, it was great, wasn't it? You really are a good dancer, you know."

Jan chuckled. "Once I shook the rust off you mean! No, it's just that you can make any partner look good."

The two argued good-naturedly about who made who look good, as they left the hall and stood outside on the landing. When Jan shivered involuntarily in the cold night air, Terry looked at her with concern and asked, "Would you rather wait inside? I'm sure Jordy will honk the horn when he comes around."

Jan tilted her head back to stare at the clear black sky spotted with brilliant diamonds and shook her head. "No, it's too seldom I get to see the sky like this. Let's wait out here, alright?"

"Sure," Terry agreed amiably. "But if it gets too cold, let me know."

Jan smiled at her protective friend, and drew in a deep breath of the frigid air, feeling the inside of her nose crinkle in reaction. It had been a glorious evening and she was keenly aware that was mostly due to the tall figure standing quietly beside her.

She'd been touched by Jordy's sweet attentiveness, but dancing with Terry had made her feel alive in a very unaccustomed way. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so exhilarated. A part of her knew that she'd have to examine that more closely later, but for now, she was content to bask in the glow of their companionship.

The night was so silent that Jan started when she heard the roar of an engine being gunned. Puzzled, she looked down the road leading to the front parking lot, only to see an orange pick-up truck barreling along the icy road towards them. She was about to remark on the foolhardiness of the driver when she heard Terry groan.

"Damn it! Why won't that idiot just go home?"

Staring, Jan could just make out Roy's coarse features leering at them over the steering wheel as he slammed to a sliding stop in front of the landing and stumbled out of the door, slipping on the snow covered pavement.

Unconsciously, Jan retreated and grabbed for the handle of the door behind her, but it had locked automatically behind them, cutting off their escape. Terry stepped in front of her, shielding her from Roy's burning stare.

"Why don't you just leave, Roy?" Terry demanded angrily. "Haven't you caused enough trouble for one night?"

Roy deliberately raised the beer bottle in his hand and drained it before snarling at her, "You think you're so good! S'pose a bitch like you wouldn't be caught dead with a guy like me."

Terry sighed deeply. "You just don't get it, do you? I wouldn't be caught dead with a guy, period!" Unable to resist, she continued, "Not that I'd go out with you if I were the straightest woman in the world!"

Roy hawked up a wad of phlegm and spat it in their direction. "Like I bought that for one minute," he growled, his face contorted in rage. "Bet you've spread your legs for half the guys in the city, but I just ain't good enough for you, ya slag!"

Terry was about to reply angrily, when Jan took the initiative and stepped around the defensive bulwark of her friend. Taking Terry's arm securely, she turned the taller woman towards her and then reached up a gloved hand behind her neck. Gently but firmly, she drew the dark head down towards her own. The last thing she was aware of before cold lips met her own was dark, startled eyes gazing at her in amazement. Then the rest of the world melted away.

Distantly she heard Roy curse and the sound of glass breaking as his beer bottle hit the wall off to the side of the landing. On some level she was aware of his truck starting up and roaring away, but her whole world focused on the soft lips possessing her own, the warm tongue exploring her mouth and the impossible way it was turning her entire body to liquid.

Long after the orange pick-up screamed out of the lot, the two women stood, pressed tightly together, deep in an ardent kiss that went on forever. Finally, Terry pulled back slightly, long streams of hot vapour steaming into the winter night as she tried to catch her breath.

Jan found she was having equal difficulty breathing, sucking in lungfuls of icy air that did nothing to cool the fire in her body. The two stood, locked in each other's arms, staring in an erotic trance. Terry lowered her head again, drawing her tongue lightly along Jan's lips, silently asking for entry that was joyfully granted.

Jan could have stood forever in this woman's arms, but all too soon Terry reluctantly pulled back, whispering, "Jordy."

Loathe to let this moment end, but aware that they shouldn't be discovered in this embrace, Jan closed her eyes and nodded slightly. She felt Terry feather light kisses over her brow before the younger woman stepped away to a respectable distance.

Jan swayed, feeling as if something vital had just been ripped away. They stared at each other, unable to speak, unwilling to fracture the crystalline moment between them.

Hearing another vehicle coming down the road, Jan wrenched her gaze from the dark eyes that had taken possession of her soul. Deliberately turning away, she waited for Jordy to pull up in front, trying desperately to will her mind and body to somnolence for fear that what she was feeling would be written on every line of her being for the boy to see.

When Jordy cheerfully clambered from the Tin Can and held the passenger door open for her, Jan silently slipped into her seat, nodding her thanks at the young man. Without turning around, she heard Terry climb in the back and settle into the seat.

Jordy chattered about the party all the way home, never noticing that his passengers were unusually quiet. Pulling up in front of the Spencer home, he rushed around to open the door and offer Jan his arm. Jan stepped out, as did Terry. Softly, she murmured goodnight to her friend and let Jordy escort her to her door.

Unlocking her door, Jan leaned forward and lightly kissed her date on the cheek. "Thank you for a lovely evening, Jordy. I'll tell Rob what a wonderful escort you were."

Jordy beamed and wished Jan a boisterous goodnight before bounding back down the walk. Jan watched him then raised her eyes to meet the dark ones studying her so intently as Terry stood quietly by the car. For a long moment, the two women stared at each other, and then Terry turned to get in the front seat with her brother.

Jan pushed open the door, walked inside and slumped down against the wall until she was sitting on the floor. Wrapping her arms around her knees and bending her head low, she soundlessly rocked back and forth as the birds watched their mistress' curious behaviour.

Chapter Twenty

Jan rubbed her hair vigorously and tossed the towel on the bathroom counter. Surveying her mirror image wryly, she reflected that the hot shower hadn't done much to repair the damage of a sleepless night. She picked up her brush and started drawing it through the wet tangles. Mechanically coaxing her hair into place, she suddenly frowned as she realized something was different.

Twisting the hand holding the brush, she stared into the mirror. Dropping the brush, she sat down heavily on the edge of the bathtub, cradling her left hand in her right as she gazed at her naked ring finger. She hadn't taken that simple gold band off since the day over twelve years ago when Rob placed it there.

Unconsciously she lifted her hand, as if testing the weight of it. Numbly she considered the ring's absence even as she sought reassurance in the knowledge that her ring was safe in Jordy's possession and she'd soon have it back.

Oh God, Jannie. What the hell are you going to do? It was the same question that was responsible for the deep shadows under sober eyes, the question that plagued her through the long hours of the night and the question for which she had absolutely no answer.

Closing her eyes, she replayed those moments standing in Terry's embrace, lost in the sweetest kiss of her life. A small shudder ran through her body, and she forcibly wrenched herself out of that prohibited train of thought.

Desperately she focused on one thing as she forced herself to get dressed and ready to go. Rob's waiting for me.

*********

Terry stared bleakly into the dregs of her coffee. The house was unnaturally silent with her two housemates gone east to spend Christmas with their families. She longed for Michael's comforting shoulder and had even considered calling him last night before remembering that it was past three AM in Toronto. She knew he wouldn't mind, but she was pretty sure his parents wouldn't be impressed.

Terry shook her head in disbelief at her predicament. The woman she was deeply in love with had kissed her last night. Had kissed HER! And any charade to convince Roy had evaporated the instant their lips had met.

When she'd pulled back, she'd seen surprise in the woman's eyes, but she'd also seen passion. If they never spoke of that moment again, she knew that in that instant that Jan felt exactly for her what she'd been feeling for months for the older woman.

Terry rubbed the bridge of her nose, trying to ease the incipient headache. What now? Well, that was the million-dollar question, wasn't it? She'd been able to cap her feelings when she was sure they were one-sided, content to enjoy the friendship of both Spencers.

A part of her wished last night had never happened, but a stronger part exulted in the memory. Her body could still feel the heat of Jan's body pressed closely as they danced. Idly she ran her thumb over her lips, convinced that they were permanently imprinted with the sensation of the older woman's mouth.
Terry had kissed her first girl when she was fifteen, and had long ago stopped keeping track of the number of partners who had drifted in and out of her orbit. Never had a simple kiss affected her as Jan's had.

Simple, yeah right! She snorted derisively. The only simple thing about it was your brain for letting it go on the way it did. You couldn't just buss her and step back. You could have laughed it off as old Roy burned out of there, but no, you had to let your feelings out. Idiot!

Even as she castigated herself, Terry knew that she was only one side of the equation and that Jan had been as emotionally involved as she'd been. The older woman had been equally reluctant to break their embrace.

Terry dropped her head into her hands. 'What ifs' plagued her. What if Jordy hadn't been with them? What if Jan had invited her in? What if Rob...

Angrily she pushed her cold coffee across the table, frowning as the brown liquid spilled out.

Hearing the front door open and her brother's cheerful, "Good morning!" Terry sighed and stood up, determined to leave last night alone until she was better prepared to deal with it. As Jordy clattered noisily down the hall, she mopped up the spilt coffee and rinsed her cup in the sink.

Time to clean up last night's mess. She smiled bitterly. At least part of it.

*********

Terry watched Duncan and Karen wave as they disappeared into the airport Customs enclosure. Her family and Karen's shouted good-byes as Jordy tossed some leftover confetti after them to the disapproving frown of the gate attendant. He grinned cheekily at the bulky, intimidating man and retreated behind his mother.

The large group of well-wishers slowly began to disperse. Terry was trailing her parents and brothers down the concourse when Emily turned to her and said, "You've been awfully quiet, Terry."

"Um, I...I'm just tired from last night, that's all. I had such a good time I couldn't get to sleep when I got home," Terry quickly improvised.

Emily nodded, her blue eyes steady as she calmly assessed her daughter. She was about to say something else when Jordy burst in.

"Shoot, Terry, I forgot to tell you! Rob asked if you'd drop by around five tonight. Jan's going to her sister's for dinner and he wanted to talk to you."

Terry felt like someone had just kicked her the stomach. Jordy looked at her curiously and put a hand on her arm. "Hey, are you okay? You're kinda pale."

"No, no I'm fine. Uh, you saw Rob already today?" Terry asked weakly.

"Yeah, I forgot to give Jan her ring back last night. I knew she'd be up at the hospital today so I swung by to leave it with Rob before I picked you up. I told him all about Roy and what a jerk he was and how Jan rescued you."

Breathe, Terry, breathe. "Oh," Terry managed brilliantly.

Jordy chattered on blithely. "Yup, he thought it was pretty funny how Roy chased you all over and Jan snuck you away right under his nose." He chuckled at the memory. "I told him that you rescued Jan from my dancing too."

"Did, ah, did he say what he wanted?" Terry asked queasily.

"Nope," Jordy told her cheerfully. "He just said to make sure you came by when Jan wasn't there."

Terry was profoundly glad that she hadn't had any breakfast or she was sure she'd be hunting for the nearest ladies room right now. She glanced from her little brother's oblivious face to where Emily was walking beside him, her face unreadable but her gaze penetrating.

"Are you coming by the house, dear?"

Suddenly quite sure she did not want to be alone with her mother who was far too intuitive for Terry's comfort, the young woman shook her head.

"No, thanks Mom, but I'm going over to Lisa and Robyn's place for awhile. I'll see you guys later, okay?"

Without waiting for a response, she turned off from the procession and headed for where she'd parked the Tin Can, uncomfortably convinced she'd narrowly escaped a lovingly intense interrogation.

*********

"Hey, stranger! You do know where we live after all!"

Lisa's cheery greeting made Terry duck her head in shame. She'd been terribly neglectful of her old friends in these past couple of months.

Holding out a bucket of chicken wings and a case of beer, she gave Lisa her best disarming smile and asked, "Forgiven?"

A long arm reached over Lisa's shoulder and a deep rumble from behind her said, "Hell yeah, for hot wings we forgive anything. Get your tailbone in here."

Relieved, Terry grinned up at Robyn, who was already diving into the bucket, and pushed past Lisa into the hallway of their small cozy home.

In short order the three women were sprawled in the living room, consuming wings, drinking beer and catching up on each other's lives.

"So what's happening on the stork front?" Terry asked curiously.

Lisa rolled her eyes. "We're having problems agreeing on the donor. I think we should go the anonymous route and Robyn wants to ask a friend, someone we know and like. I'm afraid of complications if he wants to get involved after the baby's born and she doesn't like the idea of not knowing much about the father."

"Huh," Terry grunted, sucking the last of the meat off a wing. "Did you have anyone in mind, Robyn?"

The big woman ducked her head shyly, and then looked nervously at Terry. "I was kind of hoping that Michael might agree."

The beer that had just started rolling smoothly into Terry's mouth suddenly did an about face and came back out again. Choking, she grabbed a napkin and frantically mopped up the front of her shirt. When she finally regained her power of speech, she sputtered, "Michael??"

"Well, why not?" Robyn asked defensively. "He's smart, funny, nice, and not bad to look at...for a man."

"Yeah, but...but...Michael?" Terry shook her head, unable to see her friend as a father. A giggle threatened to overtake her as she pictured Michael insisting on designer diapers and tiny Armani suits for the tyke.

Frowning, Lisa chipped in, "I told her that there was no way Michael was going to allow the precious Seaton genes to be wasted on people like us..."

"Whoa!" Terry said sharply. "Stop right there! Michael doesn't have an arrogant bone in his body. I happen to know he thinks very highly of you two. The only reason I said what I did is because I was having trouble picturing him changing diapers."

"But that's it," Robyn protested. "We wouldn't expect him to change diapers or contribute anything else but his sperm."

Slowly, trying to consider both sides, Terry said, "Michael's not the kind of guy to ignore his own child. I think if you did ask him and he agreed, he'd want to have some sort of visitation privileges."

Lisa stood and grabbed another beer from the open case. "We still have to work a few things out between ourselves before we even decide if we want to ask him." She pushed the case across the coffee table to where Terry and Robyn lounged on the couch. Robyn shook her head and Terry indicated her half full bottle.

Sitting back down, Lisa changed the subject. "So what have you been up to, Ter? We were starting to think we were going to have to send out a St. Bernard to look for you."

Terry studied her bottle intently, absently peeling little strips off the label. She started to speak when a lump welled up in her throat and choked off the words. Helplessly she looked at Robyn, who instantly set her beer aside and slid closer.

"Terry? Terry, what's the matter?"

Robyn's affectionate, empathetic tones were Terry's undoing. The tears she'd fought back since last night now came unchecked. Instantly, Robyn took the bottle from Terry's listless grasp and set it on the table. She drew the grieving woman into her strong arms, murmuring wordless sounds of comfort into the dark hair.

Lisa stood and crossed the room to sit behind Terry, rubbing her back soothingly as her large partner rocked the crying woman as easily as she'd have cradled a baby.

When Terry finally ran out of tears, she pulled back and awkwardly scrubbed at her face. Lisa pressed a napkin into her hand. Drying her eyes, Terry muttered with embarrassment, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that."

"Like you haven't always been there for us," Robyn chided gently. The big woman stared intently at her friend before going on, "You did it, didn't you, Terry? You gave away that one part of your heart you never had before."

When Terry nodded soundlessly, Robyn and Lisa exchanged knowing glances. Catching the byplay, Terry sat up straighter. "You guys knew?"

Lisa smiled wryly. "We strongly suspected. You're a lousy poker player, my friend. Everything you feel is written all over your face."

Horrified, Terry flashed on Rob's summons for this evening. She'd been dreading their meeting because of her guilty conscience, but didn't think Rob could possibly be aware of the whole picture. Jordy wouldn't have been so casual if Rob had been upset about anything, right? But what if her face had long ago given away her feelings for his wife? Did he know? Could he know?

Robyn kept one massive arm loosely draped around Terry's shoulders as she gently urged, "Why don't you tell us what's going on?"

Haltingly, Terry began to tell her old friends of the events of the past few months. By the time she reached the wedding, words were spilling over themselves as she unburdened herself. She hadn't told anyone, not even Michael, the extent to which she'd become emotionally involved with Jan.

Coming to the end of her narrative, she slumped back in exhaustion, feeling drained but better for the telling. Lisa and Robyn were silent as they contemplated her story. Finally, Lisa asked a simple question.

"What are you going to do now?"

Terry snorted and grabbed her abandoned beer back. After taking a long drink, she rubbed reddened eyes and shook her head. "What the hell can I do?" The words felt as acrid on her tongue as the flat beer. "She's married, and there's not a chance in the world she'll leave him. I...I couldn't ask her to anyway."

With those words, Terry acknowledged the truth she'd known from the first moment she'd realized that she'd fallen in love with Jan.

Lisa and Robyn exchanged looks, before Robyn asked compassionately, "Are you sure, Terry? From what you said about last night, it doesn't sound like it's one-sided."

"It's not." And that too was an undeniable and agonizing truth, like putting a banquet one inch beyond the reach of a starving woman.

Terry sighed heavily. "God, what kind of person would I be if I stepped on Rob's toes? For crying out loud, he's helpless! More importantly...he's a friend."

Turning to Lisa, she pleaded, "You couldn't do that to someone would you?"

Lisa regarded her steadily, then her eyes moved to her partner and she said, "For Robyn, I'd move heaven and earth, and God help anyone that stood in my way!"

Terry blinked, surprised at the vehemence in her friend's voice and uneasy at the implications for her own situation.

"Shhh, love," Robyn soothed her volatile mate. "Terry has to make up her own mind, and live with whatever she decides. In the meantime, Terry, don't you forget that we're here for you, okay?"

Terry nodded gratefully, aware she hadn't found any answers but thankful for her friends' unqualified support.

*********

Terry scuffed her way slowly down the hospital corridor, inanely wondering why they'd painted the walls such a putrid shade of green. Rob's room was at the end of the long hall, across from the sunroom and Terry trod the route with all the enthusiasm of a condemned man walking the last mile.

Glancing up, she noticed how quickly the light of the short winter day was fading. The window at the end of the hall was almost dark now. Biting her lip, she tried to remember if she'd turned off her headlights when she'd parked the Tin Can. Maybe she should go back and check. After all, a dead battery in winter was no joke.

She'd just about convinced herself that her lights were indeed still on, when a cheerful voice ahead of called out, "Oh, there you are. He mentioned that you'd probably be by."

With a weak smile, Terry nodded her acknowledgement at Rob's nurse filling in paperwork at the nurse's station. She'd gotten to know his nursing rotation by sight, if not name, since she'd been visiting him. This woman was the most gregarious of his caregivers by far and would be sure to ask Rob how their visit had gone.

Her avenue of escape closed, Terry walked the last few yards, pausing at the doorway to see if Rob was awake. He was, and grinned when he saw her.

"Hey, Terry, c'mon in. Pull up a chair and make yourself comfortable."

Terry almost snorted at that, but did as she was bidden, slinging her coat over the back and dragging the chair up beside the bed.

"I really appreciate your coming by," Rob said sincerely. "I was hoping I could ask you for a favour."

"What did you have in mind?"

Just as Rob was about to launch into his request, a nurse's aide bustled in and, placing a covered tray on Rob's table, asked "Do you need help here, sir, or will your friend be assisting you tonight?"

Rob looked at Terry questioningly. "Do you mind, Ter? Jan normally does it, but the aide will help if you'd rather not."

"No, no that's okay. I don't mind helping," Terry assured him, gingerly removing the tray top to expose the interior. She grimaced at the unappetizing contents and looked up when Rob chuckled.

"Yeah, it sure isn't my wife's cooking, but it's marginally edible."

Terry raised an eyebrow doubtfully. "If you say so." She unrolled the cutlery and cut up the mystery meat before offering a forkful awkwardly to Rob. He deftly removed it and the two settled into a feeding routine as Rob outlined his favour.

"I was wondering if you'd pick up Jan's Christmas present for me. I did a bunch of research with Donny, so I know what I want, but our plans to go out and get it last weekend kind of fell through...obviously." Rob ruefully surveyed his surroundings.

Her present? He wants me to pick up her present for him? Terry almost laughed in sheer relief, but managed to inquire, "So what are you getting her?"

Rob's eyes shone with excitement. "A laptop computer! She's been really impressed with yours, and she talks about getting one all the time. I know exactly what I want and I had her leave me a cheque made out to you. Just fill in the amount and I'll tell her after Christmas next week so she can record the amount in her chequebook. She's going to be so surprised!"

Terry blinked and absently shoveled another spoonful of mashed potatoes into Rob's mouth. He frowned, obviously disappointed by her reaction. Chewing hastily, he said, "Don't you think it's a good idea? I was thinking of a digital camera, but I think she'll get more use out of a computer."

Terry shook her head and tried to generate some enthusiasm. "No, Rob, I think it's a great idea. She's gonna love it."

She listened quietly as between bites, Rob outlined the specifications he had in mind. It was only when he turned his head away from the empty spoon she'd extended to his mouth that she realized she'd been feeding him by rote with her mind a hundred miles away.

Rob peered at her curiously. "Are you okay, Terry? I mean if you don't have time or something, I'm sure I could get Jordy to pick it up for me."

Terry dabbed a napkin at a stray pea on his chin as she shook her head. "No, I'd love to go get it for you, Rob. Sorry, I'm just a bit tired after last night."

Rob chuckled. "Yeah, I heard it was a heck of a party. Jordy was telling me about your not so secret admirer. Sounds like a real pain in the ass."

"Got that right!" Terry said emphatically. Then, unable to ignore the elephant in the room one moment more, she asked, "Did Jan get her ring back alright?"

She busied herself peeling the paper off a straw for Rob's juice, unable to look him in the face. Raising the glass to the man's lips, she focused on how slowly the fluid was drawn up the length of the straw rather than on the intuitive eyes she could feel watching her.

When she pulled the glass away, she heard his soft answer. "Yes, she got here shortly after Jordy dropped it off, so it's back where it belongs."

"Good. Yeah, that's good," Terry said uncomfortably, holding the glass up for another sip.

"It sounds like Jan really enjoyed herself last night. I'm glad. She loves to dance, and I'm not exactly Fred Astaire."

"Neither is Jordy."

Rob chuckled. "So I heard, however I hear that you are."

"Ah, well..." Terry squirmed and then froze as Rob said, "Thank you, Terry."

The young woman gaped at him, then managed to say, "For what?"

"For taking such good care of my wife. For tripping the light fantastic with her and seeing that she had a great time."

Terry didn't know how to take Rob's calm answer and she desperately wished to be anywhere else but in this room.

"Terry." The low voice compelled Terry to raise her eyes to the denim blue ones regarding her quietly. She felt like those eyes were looking right through her, assessing, analyzing and dissecting her soul. With a half-smile he said softly, "It's all right."

Terry stared at him, searching for the meaning of his cryptic words. Comprehension slowly dawned on her and in a strangled whisper she said, "You know."

Rob nodded his head slowly but didn't say anything.

"How long?"

"How long have I known my wife was otherwise orientated, or how long have I known that you two were falling in love?" Rob's melancholy question penetrated Terry to her core, and suddenly she felt like pond scum. She hung her head, unable to respond.

The man sighed heavily. "Terry, I don't actually sit on my brain, you know." He chuckled ruefully as the young woman's head jerked up. "My wife is my whole world. I notice everything about her. After all, there aren't a lot of other distractions in my life. I see how she lights up when you're walking up the front path. I hear how her voice sparkles when she's talking to you on the phone. On Saturday mornings she glows with excitement because she's going to spend the afternoon with you. She can hardly stop talking about all the things you do together. It wasn't exactly hard to add two plus two, though I did hope for a long time that it was just the simple pleasure of having a new friend rather than the alternative."

Terry shook her head in anguished puzzlement. "But it was your idea for her to change to Saturdays so we could do things together."

For the first time, a sharpness entered Rob's voice. "Do you have such a low opinion of me that you think I'd take away something that made her so happy. Damn it, Terry! Do you think I don't know what she gave up by marrying me?" His voice was openly bitter now. "Don't you think I'd give her the world if I could? Well, I can't! This body dies a little more each year and all I can do is watch as she tries her best to keep the pieces together."

Terry was alarmed at the expression of utter frustration on her friend's face and the tears that had filled his blue eyes. Hearing how raspy his breath had gotten as he fought to pull in enough air, she half-started from her chair to summon help, but Rob shook his head and whispered, "Juice."

She quickly raised the glass to his lips, letting him take a long pull through the straw. Setting it back down, she grabbed a tissue and dried his eyes and cheeks. Fearfully, she watched the rapid, shallow rise and fall of his chest through the thin gown. He'd closed his eyes, and she marveled at how that made any semblance of vitality disappear.

"Would you like me to go?" she asked quietly.

Rob shook his head and opened his eyes wearily. "No."

They remained silent for long minutes as Terry periodically offered the juice until Rob had drained the glass. That seemed to restore him a little as he again focused his intense blue gaze on her.

"I won't give her up, Terry." Even in his weakened voice, the words were absolute. "I need her...far more than you need her."

Terry couldn't help herself. "What about what she needs?" Seeing the instant pain on her friend's face, she desperately wished she could retract the words.

"Maybe if I were a better man, I could put her happiness first and let her go, but I can't do it. If I lose her, I lose my life. And the thing is, Terry, I know her. I know that whatever she feels for you, she'll stay with me. She does love me and she's too honourable to leave."

Terry nodded. She knew that.

"Terry." The tone was softer now. "I also know that whatever you're feeling right now, ultimately, you're not going to tear her apart by asking her to make an impossible choice." He chuckled wryly. "You're too damned honourable yourself."

I'm not going to cry...I'm not going to cry...I'm not going to... Terry grabbed the box of tissues and pulled out a handful, mopping at her disobedient eyes. Looking up, she saw Rob regarding her compassionately.

With a deceptively casual tone, he said, "She's never taken that ring off before. It was odd to see her hand bare today, even if it was just for a few minutes."

Hastily, Terry assured him, "She was just trying to fool Roy. She didn't mean anything by it."

"Mmm, maybe."

Rob sounded unconvinced, but skittish about touching on the evening's activities, Terry changed the subject. Genuinely curious, she asked, "You said something earlier about how long you've known Jan was, um..."

Her voice trailed off as it occurred to her how sensitive a subject this would be for him.

"Differently orientated?" A note of humour had returned to Rob's wispy voice. "Probably a lot longer than she has, though to be honest, I wasn't absolutely sure until you came into our lives."

"Uh, how did you..."

Terry was distressed at losing her ability to complete a sentence, sure that it boded ill for her writing future.

He regarded her and Terry had begun to think he wouldn't answer, when he started to speak.

"As far as I know, Jan's never been with anyone but me. It used to disturb me that I couldn't bring her to satisfaction back when we were lovers, but she always assured me that it was just the way she was and not to worry about it. I finally evolved a theory that my wife lived so much in the realm of make-believe, she had a hard time reorienting to the real world in some respects. What we had couldn't match her books, so she couldn't respond fully. But she didn't seem unhappy, and she willingly made adjustments as this disease
progressed, but I always got the feeling that she didn't mind a bit when that part of our life became impossible."

Terry was hanging on his words, fascinated at getting an insight on the woman she loved.

"Then you came into her life." The words were mild but Terry still flinched. "And my wife came alive like I'd never seen her before."

"But," Terry objected. "We're not..." All of a sudden she couldn't finish that statement as the sensation of Jan's soft lips under hers flashed across her mind.

"Not lovers?" Rob queried. "I know, but every Saturday when she came home, she was alive with the passion of living and the excitement of being with you. As I told you, I may not be able to scratch my nose, but I do have eyes and ears. The irony is I know Jan had no clue what was happening."

"Neither did I for a while," Terry muttered.

"No, I don't guess you did," Rob said sympathetically. "I know you two never meant this to happen, but it did, and now we have to deal with it."

"How?"

Rob's voice turned serious. "She was very unhappy when she was here this afternoon even though she tried not to let me see it, and as I said, I won't allow her to be torn between us. So you're going to have to fix things."

Terry stood, and walked over to his window, staring out across the parking lot many floors below. She dragged a hand through her hair and without turning around said, "What do you want me to do? Just walk away?"

There was a long silence, and Terry wondered if he was gathering himself to tell her exactly that. She half-hoped, half-feared that that's what he'd say.

"No, Terry. She needs her 'friend', now more than ever."

The woman heard the distinct emphasis on the word, and turned around in confusion. "I don't understand. What do you want me to do?"

"She has to know that you're unavailable as anything other than a friend, Terry." Rob's voice was unyielding now.

"Why? You already said she'd never choose me." Terry couldn't help the undertone of bitterness in her words.

"She wouldn't, but Jan's a dreamer, always had been. She'll stay with me and dream of being with you until it rips her apart. We can't do that to her," Rob insisted.

Terry felt like an iron vice was clamping over her heart. Forcing the words out, she said, "She has to see me with another woman."

Rob nodded, his eyes sad. "She has to know you're romantically involved elsewhere."

She was sure she'd never felt such pain. In a barely audible voice, she said, "Do you have any idea what you're asking?"

The somber reply would echo in her ears forever. "Yes."

Chapter Twenty-One

Terry morosely wadded up her uniform and tossed it in the general direction of the laundry basket. She wouldn't need it for the next five days. Weeks ago, she'd booked off Christmas Eve, planning to spend it cross-country skiing with Jan before they joined Rob for a pre-Christmas feast. Jan and Rob were spending Christmas day with Kate's family, and Terry would be with her family, so tomorrow was to have been their own personal celebration.

Dragging on a ragged pair of sweatpants and a thick sweater, Terry threw herself back on her bed and stared at the ceiling. Guess I'm free tomorrow now. Their plans hadn't been formally cancelled, but Terry hadn't heard from Jan since they'd parted after the wedding several days ago. Yeah, well it's not like you've called her either!

She had picked up Rob's gift for Jan, but before dropping it off, she'd carefully checked the hospital parking lot for the telltale van. Once she was sure Jan had gone home for the day, she'd taken the wrapped box in. Bitterly she remembered writing out the tag for Rob. 'For Jan, Forever Love, Rob'. Her hand had shaken as she'd written out the words he dictated, and when she glanced up on finishing, he'd had the grace to look apologetic. Stiffly mumbling an excuse, she'd fled as quickly as she could and she hadn't been back since.

Sighing, Terry pushed herself off the bed and plodded downstairs to the kitchen. She put on a pot of coffee, then opened the fridge and stared at the sparse contents. With Michael gone, her eating habits had gone rapidly downhill. She grabbed the egg carton, milk and butter and took them over to the counter.

She was just poking tentatively through the stack of dirty dishes in the sink to find a frying pan when she heard the front door bell ring. Leaving her dinner preparations, she walked down the hall and opened the door, then froze as she saw Jan standing there.

Neither woman spoke until Jan asked uncertainly, "May I come in?"

Wordlessly, Terry stepped back, holding the door open for her. Jan entered and hesitantly unbuttoned her coat and slid off her boots. Mechanically, Terry helped her off with the coat and hung it up in the closet before turning to lead the way into the living room.

Terry waited for Jan to take a seat on the couch and then chose the chair opposite. Terry could see that the other woman was searching for a conversational opening, but her own throat seemed to have closed off. Finally she managed to say, "Can I get you some coffee? I just made a fresh pot."

Jan shook her head. "No, thank you. Um, I was just coming home from the hospital and I thought I'd stop and see how you were doing."

"Fine. Yeah, I'm doing fine." Grasping desperately for a neutral topic, she asked, "How's Rob doing?"

Jan smiled slightly. "Much better, thanks. I get to bring him home tomorrow."

"Good. He'll be home for Christmas then." The stilted conversation stuttered to a stop again and Terry could see the shy bewilderment in those beloved green eyes.

Jan shifted uneasily in her seat and rubbed her forehead. Lowering her eyes, she said, "Terry, I want to apologize for the other night. I was out of line."

The words were so soft that Terry barely heard them, but she forced herself to accept the opening that had been offered. "No, it's alright. I mean you were just saving me from Roy after all. I know you didn't mean anything by it."

Even as she heard the lie pass her lips, she knew neither of them believed it.

She floundered, lost for what to say to ease the horrible tension in the room, when she heard Jan ask, "Why didn't you bring a date to the wedding?"

Startled, Terry looked up to find Jan studying her quietly. "I...well, I thought about it actually." Unable to face Jan for what she had to say next, she stood and walked over to the window, staring out at the fading daylight. Closing her eyes, she began the story she'd concocted over the last few days.

"To tell you the truth, I've been seeing someone just recently and I almost asked her to come."

In the silence that followed her announcement, Terry slowly turned to look at the woman on the couch. For a split second, she saw the naked anguish in Jan's eyes, before she lowered her head and said, "Oh? You hadn't mentioned that. Anyone I know?"

Terry heard the forced lightness in Jan's words and it pierced her like a blade, but she dug her fingernails into her palms and went on.

"She's a friend of Lisa's. Her name is Jesse Harrison. She and Lisa work together and Lisa's been trying to get us together for ages."

As with all plausible lies, this one had a grain of truth. Lisa had indeed been trying to set Terry up with her friend for months, insisting they were perfect for each other, but Terry had consistently refused.

"Is it serious?" Terry almost crumbled at the poorly disguised pain in Jan's voice but she choked out a response.

"It might be. We get along really well, you know? Actually, one of the reasons I didn't ask her to the wedding was because I didn't want my family and friends getting on my case about my romantic history in front of her. I want to give this one a chance to grow without any pressure."

Terry couldn't believe how glibly the untruths were spilling from her lips. She felt like she was standing outside her body, watching it controlled by a pod person. Paralyzed, she saw Jan nod slowly standing and offering Terry a wan smile.

"I hope it works out for you, Terry. You deserve someone special in your life."

I have someone special in my life! Terry's heart almost overwhelmed her resolve, and she took a step towards Jan. When the older woman involuntarily retreated, Terry stiffened and stilled. Jan fumbled in her large purse and withdrew a small, brightly wrapped box, thrusting it at Terry.

"This is from Rob and me. Just something we thought you could use." When Terry made no move to accept it, Jan set it on the couch and began to back up.

"Um, I guess I'd better go. I've got to get Rob's things ready to take up tomorrow and all. I guess we won't see you until after the holidays so I hope you have a nice Christmas. Please tell your family we sent our best wishes."

Jan had reached the hallway when Terry made a move to join her. She shook her head. "No, that's okay. I know my way out."

Distantly, Terry saw her normally graceful friend's jerky movements and heard the brittleness in her sweet voice. Numbly, Terry allowed the woman a dignified escape without saying a word. She didn't move when she heard the door open and quietly shut. She didn't move as she watched Jan pass under the streetlight and pause for a moment to look back. She didn't move until the van had driven off, and then she moved.

Deliberately, she walked to the front door and shot the interior bolt. Retracing her steps, she turned off the lights in the living room and hallway. Stopping at the phone, she unplugged it. Reaching the kitchen, she put the eggs, milk and butter back in the fridge and switched off the coffee pot before turning off the light there too. Returning to the hallway, she bolted the back door, and then found her way in the dark to the basement door.

Purposefully, Terry descended the stairs and walked directly to the fridge in the TV room. Coolly pleased that Michael had completely restocked it before he'd left for Toronto, she grabbed a couple of beers and wrenched the top off the first. By the time she'd crossed to the bookcase full of videos, she'd already drained one bottle. Tossing it aside, she started on the next as she perused the selections.

Trailing a finger over dusty cases, she paused at Fried Green Tomatoes before shaking her head. Nope, cop-out! She tapped a finger on Basic Instinct but passed that by too. Taking another deep swallow, she seized on Terminator 2 and managed to pull out Bound at the same time.

"Oh, I'll be back for you later, Gina. Right now, Linda and I have a date. Don't be jealous, babe. I've got all the time in the world!" Snickering, she tossed another empty in the general direction of the first, and muttered, "At least as long as the beer holds out, that is."

Terry plugged the tape into the VCR and picked up the remote. Grabbing two more beer, she settled on the couch and slung her long legs up on the coffee table. Turning on the TV, she cracked another beer. Impatiently, she advanced through the opening sequences. When she reached an image of a small, muscular woman doing pull-ups on the legs of an upturned bed, she settled back and tipped the bottle to her mouth again.

With a tiny belch, she shook her head, "You were so wasted on that mutant, muscle-bound cyborg!"

*********

"Hello?"

"Jan, it's Emily."

"Oh hi, Emily. Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas to you and Rob, too. Look, I hate to bother you this early..."

"Don't worry about it—we've been up for awhile. What can I do for you?"

"I'm not sure. By any chance is Terry at your house?"

There was silence for a moment, then Jan's strained voice answered, "No, Em. I haven't seen her since the night before last. Isn't she at her house?"

Emily's concern was clearly detectable over the phone line. "No. She was supposed to be here an hour ago. We always have a huge family breakfast and then sit down to open presents. I've tried calling and there's no answer. I even sent Jordy over to get her, and he said her car's there, but the doors are locked and no one answered the bell."

"Maybe she just slept in?"

"That's not like her, Jan. Not on Christmas. Heavens, she's usually the one rousting all of the rest of us out at the crack of dawn. She loves Christmas!"

Hesitantly, Jan offered, "When I talked to her, she mentioned she's seeing someone new. Maybe she spent the night at her place."

Evidently surprised, Emily said, "She is? She never told me about that! You wouldn't happen to know who it is, would you?"

"It's a friend of Lisa's. I think her name was Jesse something. I'm sorry, I don't know more than that."

"Thanks, Jan. I'll give Lisa a call and see if I can get a phone number from her."

"Emily, I...would you let me know when you find her?"

"I'll have her give you a call..."

"No! No, don't bother her. Just if...when you find her, I'd really appreciate if you'd let me know, okay?" There was no mistaking her emphasis on 'you'.

Emily was slow to respond, and Jan could hear the puzzlement in her voice. "Alright, Jan. I'll let you know when I find her. I'm sure she just got tied up with a friend or something."

"I'm sure you're right, Emily. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay. Talk to you later."

Jan set the receiver back in the cradle and stared at the numbers, which were oddly blurred. Hearing Rob call, she hastily wiped her eyes and left the room.

*********

"Morning."

"Lisa? It's Emily Sanderson."

"Oh, hi Mrs. Sanderson. Merry Christmas!"

"Thank you, Lisa, and Merry Christmas to you and Robyn too. Look, is Terry at your place by any chance?"

"Terry? No. No, we haven't seen her since last Sunday. Did you try Jan's place?"

"Yes, I just called there and they haven't seen her for a couple of days either. Listen, Jan told me that Terry's been seeing a friend of yours, a Jesse something? Would you have her number?"

Dead silence. "Uh, Jesse Harrison?"

"Jan wasn't sure about the last name, but if she's a friend of yours, she's probably the one. Do you have her number?"

"Mrs. Sanderson, why don't you let me give Jesse a call and I'll call you right back, okay?"

"Would you? Thanks very much, Lisa. This just isn't like Terry and I'm starting to get worried."

"Sure, no problem. I'll call you right back."

Lisa hung up the phone and looked at her curious partner. "Something is very strange, Robyn. Did Terry or Jesse mention anything to you about finally getting together?"

"What!? You know as well as I do that Terry's completely hung up on Jan."

"I know, but according to Mrs. Sanderson, Terry told Jan she's seeing Jesse. I'm gonna give Jess a quick call and find out what's going on."

*********

"Hello!"

Lisa doubted that her friend's mother had even set the phone down. "Hi, Mrs. Sanderson. It's Lisa. I talked to Jesse and...uh, she hasn't seen Terry recently." Lisa frowned as her mate rolled her eyes.

"Oh." Clearly disappointed, and increasingly desperate, Emily said, "You wouldn't have any ideas where else I might check, would you?"

"Look, Robyn and I were going to head over to her Dad's place in a bit, but I've got a key to Terry's house. Why don't we swing by there and check things out? It could be she just slept in or something. We'll give you a call from there, okay?"

"Thanks, Lisa. I really appreciate it. I'm beginning to wonder if I should call the police."

Lisa could tell the woman was on the verge of tears and when she hung up, she shook her head angrily. "I'm gonna kick Terry's butt for this!"

Soberly, Robyn said, "Let's find her first, then we can all stand in line to kick butt."

*********

"Shit! Look at this place, Robbie!"

Lisa spun slowly, taking in the mess. Empty beer bottles were tossed haphazardly all over the floor. Tapes and empty video cases were strewn over every surface. Wads of used tissues were piled by one end of the couch, which had lost its cushions to various corners of the room. A giant bag of chips had been ripped apart and half the contents crushed underfoot in the carpet.

Robyn surveyed the room in awe. "D'ya think she had a party here?"

Lisa shook her head. "Without calling us? Nuh uh, we'd have heard one way or another. No, I have a hunch this is all Terry's doing."

"Then where the hell is she? We've searched this house from top to bottom and she sure isn't here!"

The two women were quiet as they considered the mystery. Slowly the large woman turned to her partner, the dawning of dread in her eyes. "Lisa, you don't think she'd do anything stupid, do you?"

"No! Not Terry. She can be thoughtless at time, but she'd never hurt her family like that," Lisa scoffed. "Knowing her, she's shacked up with some blonde bimbo and forgot what day it is."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Robyn answered with a distinct lack of conviction. "Still, I've never seen her as broken up as she was about Jan."

Lisa sighed heavily, and muttering, "I'm gonna kill 'er!" she went upstairs to report in to Mrs. Sanderson.

*********

Terry whimpered as the sunlight tried to sneak under her eyelids. Burrowing her head into the pillow, she groaned deeply as her whole body rebelled at the precipitous movement. Opening one eye a fraction, she stared at the rose-coloured pillow her aching head rested on. Pink? Since when did I have pink pillows?

Bolting upwards, she almost doubled over as her mutinous stomach threatened to unload all over the pink sheets falling in folds around her naked body. Naked? I'm naked in pink sheets? Thoroughly confused, sucking in deep, slow breaths to calm her stomach, she examined the room she was in.

It looked vaguely familiar, but for the life of her she couldn't remember where she was or how she'd got there. The last thing she remembered clearly, was sobbing with Idgie when Ruth died. Everything since then was a jumble of broken images.

Frowning, she concentrated, trying to put the pieces together. She was pretty sure she'd run out of beer at one point, and she remembered planning to go to Oly's when it opened this morning. THIS morning? She wasn't sure.

Laughter sounded from across the room and she looked up blearily to see a blonde woman standing there, leaning against the doorframe with a glass in her hand. Terry's mouth dropped open in shock.

"Marika?"

The blonde smirked and strolled lazily across the room. Terry grabbed for the sheet and pulled it up over her breasts. Marika chuckled, and handing Terry the glass, said, "Don't bother. I've seen it all, remember?"

"Uh, no, actually I don't," Terry sighed and gratefully drained the water before handing the glass back. Her head a little clearer now, she studied the other woman who sat on the edge of the bed beside her. Embarrassed but desperately needing to know, she asked, "Did we...um, you know, um..."

"Did we what, Terry?" Marika was clearly enjoying the situation, and had no intention of making things any easier on the younger woman. "Make cookies? Go shopping? Decorate the Christmas tree?"

Terry flushed and mumbled, "Forget it!" There was silence for a long moment and when Terry finally looked up from her intense study of the bedding, she found Marika regarding her with an odd, unreadable look in her eyes.

The older woman finally spoke, an undertone of sadness lacing her words. "No, Terry. I prefer my lovers to at least be sober enough to know up from down." She hesitated and added, "I also prefer that they actually want to be with me, and you've made it amply clear that you'd rather sleep with a porcupine."

Terry dropped her head, remorse flooding her as she remembered her harsh words the last time they'd spoken. She'd felt justified at the time, but she'd never been able to forget the hurt in Marika's eyes as she'd stomped out of Oly's and out of the blonde's life.

"I'm sorry," she said, reaching out and taking Marika's hand. She felt the woman flinch as she did, but held it firmly and met the cautious gray eyes steadily. "I was unnecessarily cruel and I hurt you. It was churlish of me and I apologize."

With uncharacteristic diffidence, Marika said, "Maybe it was necessary." She smiled ruefully then, adding, "I certainly wasn't getting the message very well up until then."

Terry couldn't believe she was having this conversation, but then she couldn't believe she was sitting naked in Marika's bed, wrapped in pink sheets either. Wryly, she figured she might as well seize the opportunity, and asked, "You know, I never really figured that out. Why the heck were you so set on me anyway? It wasn't like you couldn't have just about anyone you wanted."

"I wanted you," Marika answered simply. "I'd never had what I had with you for that month, and I couldn't bear to give it up without a fight."

"But," Terry protested, "I don't even remember one real conversation we had. Hell, we barely knew each other!"

Marika chuckled. "Gee, and here I thought we knew each other pretty well!" She grinned at Terry, who couldn't help chuckling. "No, you're right, Terry. We really didn't know each other at all. How could we when every time we were together we were looking for the nearest horizontal surface?"

"Oh, I can remember finding some pretty interesting vertical surfaces too," Terry chortled, increasingly comfortable in the blonde's presence as the two laughed over shared memories.

When the mirth subsided, Terry plucked at the sheet and asked, "Seriously though, how'd I end up here?"

"You really don't remember?" Marika asked curiously. Terry shook her head.

"I'd just left a restaurant on 17th where my colleagues and I were celebrating the season when I noticed you stumbling out of Oly's with some pretty young thing. It was only about two in the afternoon, but I could see that you were already blasted. I was too far away to hear what was going on, but I could tell you were having a heated argument. She slapped you and then took off down the street. You just stood there watching her, and then you went back into the bar."

Terry grimaced and unconsciously raised a hand to her cheek as if reliving the sting of an outraged hand.

"I was curious so I slipped inside and took a seat in the back corner. You were so out of it that you wouldn't have noticed if a herd of elephants had just come in. I spent the next couple of hours watching you out drink everyone in the bar."

Marika paused and studied the embarrassed young woman intently. "What's going on, Terry? I've seen you have enough to be feeling no pain, but I've never seen you completely out of it like that."

Terry hugged her legs, rocking a little and oblivious to the other woman's keen perusal. When she didn't answer, Marika shrugged and continued. "Anyway, when Megan called closing at five, you were really pissed off and didn't want to leave. She was trying to reason with you, telling you it was Christmas Eve and she wanted to be home with her family..."

Terry's head snapped up. "Christmas Eve? Isn't today Christmas Eve?"

Marika shook her head. "No, today's Christmas."

"Oh shit! What time is it?" Terry demanded, as she scrambled out of bed.

Marika glanced at her watch. "Eleven o'clock."

"Oh God! I'm so screwed!" Terry moaned, looking furiously for her clothes.

"They're in the wash," Marika informed her, wrinkling her nose expressively. "You puked all over them last night, not to mention my carpet and my cat too."

Terry had the grace to look momentarily chagrined, but then panic took over and she scrambled for the bedside phone. Hastily she dialed a number and within seconds she was talking to her relieved and angry mother.

"I'm sorry, Mom." She held the receiver away from her ear as she winced at the livid invective pouring from the phone.

"Yeah, I know. I'm an irresponsible idiot. I'm really, really sorry."

"Mom...Mom...MOTHER!" Terry was sure she'd just split her own cranium open, but at least Emily had stopped chewing her out long enough for her to get a word in edgewise. "Look, go ahead and open the presents without me. I'm at a friend's place and I'll be over later this afternoon, alright?"

After several more moments of Terry's abject apologies, Emily obviously decided her daughter had groveled enough and let her hang up. Terry sank down on the edge of the bed and cradled her aching head in her hands.

"Here, try this."

Terry looked up to see Marika holding out a faded, pink robe. The blonde smiled and said, "Not that I'm not enjoying the sights, mind you."

Terry blushed a little, and took the robe gratefully. "What's with you and all this pink?" she grumbled mildly as she tied the robe closed.

Marika chuckled. "What can I say? It's a femme thing. C'mon, you look like you could use some toast and coffee."

Terry stood and followed her hostess from the room. "Coffee, yes, but I'm not so sure about anything else."

Marika glanced over her shoulder. "Somehow I doubt you've had anything but liquid sustenance for quite a while. You probably should start on something easy like toast, though I can heat up some soup if you'd like."

Terry shook her head, slightly bewildered at the blonde's consideration. If their positions were reversed, she doubted she could be half as gracious with an ex-lover.

A short while later, the two women were curled up comfortably on the couch, sipping their coffee and chatting idly. A gray and white cat stalked into the room and stopped, staring at Terry. Stiffly, his tail swishing angrily, he marched right past her and crawled up on his mistress' lap. Marika laughed and stroked the luxurious hair as he stretched and settled onto her legs.

"I don't think the Spookmeister likes you very much," she chuckled.

Terry winced. "Did I really...uh, you know?"

"Puke all over him? Oh yeah! Poor Spooky scrambled for cover, but he wasn't quite fast enough. I had to bathe him even before I bathed you. And he'd been thinking you made such a nice cushion too."

Even as Terry groaned and covered her eyes in embarrassment, she couldn't help thinking that Marika's genuine grin did wonders for her demeanor. Maybe it was because she was comfortably on her home turf, but she seemed more open and much warmer.

Feeling like she was saying this a lot today, Terry said earnestly, "I'm really sorry, Marika. I mean for everything."

The blonde woman shrugged. "Spooky will survive, and as for rescuing you...well, it's not the first time I've dragged a drunk home and dried her out."

"No?" Terry asked curiously. Marika never volunteered anything of her past, but then Terry had never asked either.

"No. I started bringing my mother home from the bars when I was twelve." The tone was flat, as if all emotion had been ruthlessly exorcised many years ago.

Terry didn't know what to say, and Marika clearly didn't want to go any further down memory lane. Glancing around, she said, "No Christmas tree this year?"

"No Christmas tree any year." Marika forced a small laugh. "I may not be able to avoid the season outside my home, but I don't have to import it in here." She shrugged apologetically. "Guess that sounds rather Scrooge-like, doesn't it?"

"A little." Terry was watching her companion closely now. "Any particular reason you don't like the season?"

"What's to like?" The cryptic answer shook Terry, who'd always loved everything associated with Christmas.

"Family, food, presents!" she shot back.

Marika avoided her eyes, and concentrated on stroking Spooky, who was loudly purring his approval of her attentions. Understanding slowly set in, and Terry let her gaze wander about the room. Elegantly decorated, the room was bare of any hint of the season, but more tellingly, it was devoid of any pictures of anyone at all.

Turning back to the blonde, Terry asked compassionately, "You don't see your family at Christmas, do you?"

Bleak gray eyes met hers. "I don't see my family at any time. I've been persona non grata since they found me in bed with the maid when I was sixteen."

"I'm sorry, Marika." Terry's soft words were met by a shrug.

"Doesn't matter. Dad and his wife made sure I was well educated...in boarding schools as far away from the family as possible. I was sent to the finest universities and given a year abroad when I graduated. He even paid for the shrinks who tried to cure me of my deviance." Her brittle laugh belied her casual tone and Terry edged closer on the couch.

"That sucks!" Terry said indignantly.

"Well, there are worse things than being a remittance woman," Marika demurred half-heartedly. Spooky spat at Terry, who'd come far too close for his comfort, and his mistress tried to soothe his ruffled ego. When Terry reached out a hand and rested it on Marika's shoulder, the cat decided to evacuate. He jumped off the comfortable lap and stalked across the floor, protesting loudly as he disappeared around a corner.

The two women chuckled at his transparent objections. "Do you think he'll ever forgive me?" Terry asked with amusement.

"Bribe him with catnip," Marika suggested. "The boy can be bought."

Terry grinned and lightly rubbed the thin shoulder. Suddenly she sat upright and said, "You know what? You are going to have a proper Christmas dinner this year!"

Marika looked at her curiously and then her expression turned to one of alarm.

"Oh no, Terry, I couldn't!"

"Yes, you could. Mom always has space for one more at her table, and with Duncan and Karen gone on their honeymoon, there'll be lots of room," Terry exclaimed enthusiastically.

"No, Terry! Your family doesn't like me," Marika protested.

"They don't know you. Besides, I like you, and I'm taking you home for dinner!" Even as she said it, Terry realized she meant it. She liked this side of Marika and she was grateful to the woman for rescuing and caring for her when she'd been so drunk. It would have been very easy for her to walk away, but she hadn't done that, and Terry was determined she wouldn't turn her back either. Her mother wouldn't mind. Heck, she'd been bringing strays home all her life so Emily would barely bat an eye.

Wistfully, Marika asked, "Are you sure?"

Terry nodded emphatically and grinned. "Besides, if you're there, I'm a whole lot less likely to get chewed apart for missing this morning."

Marika smiled and nodded her acceptance. "Well, in that case, far be it from me to turn down a damsel in distress."

*********

"Hello?"

"Hi, Jan. It's Emily again. Good news, the prodigal daughter called in. She wasn't with Jesse, but she stayed overnight with a friend and slept in. She'll be over for dinner."

Jan tried to muffle her sigh of relief. "That's great, Emily. I'm glad she's alright."

"Oh that she is, though she may be missing a few strips of skin right about now."

The two women laughed at the thought of a thoroughly chastened Terry before Emily continued, "So what time are you two heading down to Kate's?"

"Actually, our Christmas will be delayed a few days. My brother-in-law and nephew both came down with the flu yesterday, but we'll have our celebration once John and Kevin are healthy again.

"Oh, that's too bad! Well then, you and Rob must come and have dinner with us then."

Hesitantly, Jan replied, "That's awfully nice of you, Em, but I don't want to impose at this short notice."

"Oh pish!" Emily exclaimed. "You two are virtually part of the family and I'd have invited you in the first place if I hadn't thought you were going to Kate's place. I won't take no for an answer, Jan Spencer!"

Jan couldn't help chuckling at her friend's insistence. "Alright, if you're sure...?"

"It's settled then," Emily declared firmly. "We'll eat about six, but you come down whenever you're ready.

Continued in Part 6