Chapter Twenty-One
Some time later, the two women left Alex’s apartment and walked down Commercial Street to a small street side café that faced the bay. There was an eclectic air to the interior, with pastel colored murals painted on all the walls and old-fashioned ice cream parlor stools along the counter that gave the place an eccentric retro design.
Regina rubbed her nose and looked up at her companion. "Kind of bright, huh?"
Alex arched an eyebrow as she watched a waitress grab two menus from the counter and head in their direction. "It looks like the Easter Bunny nibbled on the wrong patch of grass and then came here to paint the eggs."
Regina stopped laughing just long enough to hear the waitress introduce herself as Allison. They had their pick of where to sit and the waitress guided them to a booth in the back corner that overlooked the water at Alex’s request.
"Would you like anything to drink?"
"Two coffees, please," Alex replied, as she settled into the booth.
"Certainly." She flashed them a bright smile and sauntered back behind the counter.
"Alex wouldn’t you love to have a room painted like this with all these wild and crazy colors?" Regina leaned across the table and smiled up at her.
Two blue eyes peered back at her from over the menu. "You’re kidding, right?"
Regina held the smile as long as she could and then dissolved into a fit of giggles again. "Sorry, I think this place is making me feel goofy."
"Well, if you really like these colors, I’m sure we could find some edible body paint in one of the stores and play connect the dots later," Alex deadpanned, enjoying the wide-eyed expression on Regina’s face for a few seconds. "Breathe, Reg."
"Hmm, maybe we should go check one of those stores out. That could be interesting." Regina arched an eyebrow and blew a kiss across the table at Alex.
The taller woman leaned back against her booth and groaned. "God, I walked right into that."
They carried on for a few more minutes, totally absorbed in each other, until they both ended up laughing so hard that tears rolled down their cheeks. Alex held her hands up in surrender.
"No more. Please, you’re going to kill me if we keep laughing like this."
Regina inhaled and regained some of her composure before she opened the menu and quickly read it over.
Their waitress appeared, having taken the silence at the table, as they were ready to order. "So what would you ladies like to eat?"
Alex coughed and cleared her throat as she glanced across the table at Regina. The blonde was blushing badly and trying desperately not to burst out laughing again. "Fried eggs over easy and pancakes, for both of us," she answered quickly.
"Great, thanks." Allison gathered up the menus and graced them both with a bright smile.
Regina tried desperately to keep a straight face as the waitress left to place their order and then sunk very low in her booth and started to laugh again. "Teach us to have conversations like this in public," she finally managed to get out.
"Mm and who started it?"
"Okay, okay truce. I can’t handle any more laughing right now," Regina replied, still holding her stomach. She decided it felt good to laugh and carry on like two kids.
Regina glanced out the window at the water. She was glad to be out of the apartment. After placing telephone calls to Dr. Timmons office, security, and the pediatric floor she knew no more now than she had after her brief conversation with Terry. She still couldn’t shake the haunting image her mind conjured up of TJ all alone possibly sick or hurt.
"Hey. Where did you go off to?" Alex waved her hand in front of Regina’s eyes, smiling as the blonde blinked her eyes and refocused on her.
"Sorry. I just can’t get him out of my head." Regina toyed with her fork and shook her head as she let out an exasperated sigh. "It’s like he just disappeared into thin air and nobody seems to know anything, let alone, care very much that he’s gone."
"Security filed a missing person’s report with the police department and they’ve probably checked every inch of the hospital to make sure he isn’t hiding out somewhere," Alex told her. "It’s been forty-eight hours so the police are officially involved."
Regina set her fork down and took a sip of her water. "I just hope they find him and that he’s okay. The longer he goes without his medication the more at risk he is for having a seizure."
Alex pressed her lips together and tilted her head, feeling the worry, and genuine concern Regina expressed. "I know you’re worried about him. Let’s eat and try to enjoy the rest of today." She stopped and leaned forward as Regina turned her head and looked out the window with a forlorn expression on her face.
"I just wish there was something I could do," she whispered, her voice trembling slightly.
Glancing down at her watch, Alex considered if there was any benefit in returning a day earlier than they planned. It wasn’t what she wanted to do, but if it made Regina feel better she decided it would be worth it. "It’s eleven o’clock now. If you wanted to, we could drive back after we eat. Maybe there is something we can do to help."
"You would do that?" Regina regarded the serious expression on Alex’s face as the older woman steadily met her gaze.
"Yes," Alex replied and leaned back as the waitress arrived with their plates of food. She let an easy, graceful smile cross her lips, while she was swept in by the look of quiet admiration and love she was getting from across the table.
******
Alex draped an arm over Regina’s shoulder as they walked down the street after they finished and paid for their meal. She felt better having food in her stomach, the dull headache she had earlier was receding and Regina seemed to be in better spirits as well.
"Ooh, how pretty."
Alex turned her head and looked over to see what had caught her partner’s attention. A wooden box supported on a sturdy pedestal, its locked glass lid, protecting a small array of sparkling jewelry. Alex glanced up at the store and saw the lights on inside. "It’s open. Do you want to go in?"
"Do you mind?" A curiously shy look crossed Regina’s features when she looked at her partner.
"I wouldn’t have offered if I did."
Regina laughed, not quite understanding the nervousness she felt in her gut as she tugged Alex’s hand and started up the brick steps.
A red-haired woman looked up from behind the counter. "Hi," she greeted them with a friendly smile and went back to her work.
After returning the greeting, Regina’s attention was immediately drawn to a glass case to the right of the door. It was filled with ear rings, specifically a beautiful set of sparkling sapphire stones that winked at her from underneath the lights.
Regina looked back at Alex and raised an inquiring eyebrow. "I’d like to see that pair, please." She pointed down at the gleaming azure jewels inside the case.
Alex’s heart skipped a beat and her throat went dry as she looked on. While the woman retrieved them from the case, she discreetly slipped over to the other side of the store and took great interest in the necklaces laid out on the white background. Her eyes strayed over to the rings and she briefly studied several of them as she took a few deep breaths, wondering why she felt so out of control.
Soft footfalls, muffled by the carpeted floor approached and then she felt a warm presence at her back. Alex shifted and turned around, her eyebrows creeping up beneath her bangs when Regina held the sapphire-blue, gemstone earrings up next to her face.
"I think they’d look beautiful on you," Regina commented softly.
Alex swallowed and ducked her head, feeling a completely unexpected surge of adolescent awkwardness. "With this long hair? You’d never see them," she replied, feigning a casual offhandedness she didn’t feel.
Regina made a clucking noise with her tongue and lowered her hands. She slipped one into Alex’s hand and laced their fingers together. "You would if you pulled it up, just like you did when you had to give that presentation at the hospital last summer."
She waited for Alex reaction, knowing she remembered exactly what she was talking about. Regina certainly did. Alex had managed to turn an incredibly hostile environment to her distinct advantage that day. "You looked really hot, um…" A blush colored her face and she shook her head. "You looked really nice in that blue pant suit you were wearing."
"You," Alex cleared her throat and looked down at the floor before she tried again. "You remember that?"
Their eyes met and Regina simply nodded her head. "So, listen…just don’t say anything right now."
"Bu…Reg, you don’t…I." Alex stammered and didn’t get to finish as two fingers pressed against her lips, quieting her strangled protests.
"Shush," she gently chided her and felt a tremor run through the hand she was still holding. Regina smiled up at the bewildered blue eyes that stared back at her, knowing she’d caught Alex completely off guard. "Maybe when we get back home, we can go out someplace nice one night and you can wear them, because I’d really be honored to get them for you."
She’d be honored? Alex met her gaze and got lost in the quiet regard, as she thought about that.
After a moment, Regina turned, but before she could walk away, felt the warm weight of Alex’s hands on both her shoulders and was pulled gently back against the taller woman, and heard these whispered words.
"Thank you." Alex squeezed her shoulders and leaned around to place a soft kiss on her cheek.
"You’re welcome." Regina closed her eyes briefly and smiled as a warm, wonderful feeling flowed through her as she walked back to the counter.
Subtle things were changing between them, Regina acknowledged; like the fact that Alex had shared some of her insecurities about their relationship with her the day before.
Even though it had been painful to hear the words, she knew it meant that some unseen barriers were finally sliding away.
The woman behind the counter, gladly wrapped up Regina’ purchase, smiling as she handed it back across to the blonde. "You picked out a beautiful pair of sapphires."
"Thanks," Regina replied, thinking they were almost as captivating as the Alex’s blue eyes. She chuckled at the thought. No way do they even hold a candle to your baby blues, Alex.
When she was finished, Regina joined Alex over by one of the glass cases and stood beside her. She bit her bottom lip and arched her eyebrows as she looked up at the serious expression on Alex’s face. I hope she doesn’t think I got her these because she offered to go home early. Regina tossed the thought away and nudged Alex with her hip.
"You ready?"
"Yeah." Alex nodded her head and gave her a crooked half smile before she walked over and opened the door for Regina.
After walking along the street for a few minutes, Alex guided Regina down through a half-filled parking lot to a small patch of beach. There was an old sun-beaten, turquoise colored row- boat that looked like it had seen better days lying upside down, half-buried in the sand.
Their shoes crunched softly through the sand as they trudged over and took a seat on the end of the boat. Regina snuggled closer to Alex and wrapped an arm around the taller woman’s waist to ward off the chill of the damp sea air. A stiff breeze lifted Alex’s hair, blowing it back off her face while she soaked in the blissful feeling of her lover’s embrace.
Alex cleared her throat and gave Regina a nudge with her shoulder. " So, do you think your Mom is over the shock of your declaration the other night?"
"What? Oh, geez." Regina rubbed her face sheepishly. "That just slipped out of nowhere. I wanted to die."
"Mm, I think that made three of us at the time," Alex deadpanned.
"Sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you."
Alex let out a soft chuckle and rubbed her temple. "You didn’t, well not too badly. Just caught me by surprise. I’m pretty sure we answered any lingering questions she had when she walked in on us kissing."
Regina ducked her head and groaned. "I’m sure I’ll hear about that the next time I talk to her. My parent’s are not big on public displays of affection."
Alex felt the slump in Regina’s posture and sensed the quiet depression settle over her partner. "Hey. What’s up?" She ran her fingers through the pale hair and sucked in a breath at the forlorn expression on Regina’s face.
The blonde shook her head. "Right when we were leaving my mother was questioning why I would want to be with you. I don’t know if she’s ever going to accept our relationship or you."
Alex drew the collar up on her coat and stared down at the sand. She didn’t worry so much about herself and what Regina’s mother thought. If the woman chose not to like or accept her, then, so be it, but she knew it was important to Regina and at the moment she wasn’t quite sure what she could do about it. She offered up the only thing she knew to be true. "Sometimes the only thing that brings people around is time."
They were both silent for a while, lured in by the rhythmic sound of the surf. There was less of a breeze today and the warmth of the sun could be felt when it poked through the high clouds.
Regina glanced up at the intense profile and caught Alex staring out at the horizon, a faraway expression on her face. "What are you thinking?"
Alex looked down at Regina and then refocused her attention out at the water. "Do you remember the fire fighter we met over at the clinic?"
"Yeah, his name was Todd, I think," Regina answered tentatively, wondering what had brought this subject up. She had a suspicion that at the time Alex had been more than a little annoyed at the innocent attentions that the young man had shown her.
It wasn’t until they finally broke past the hurt and confusion did Regina realize the extent of the emotional turmoil and stark vulnerability that haunted her partner. Little pieces fell into place and some of pain receded that night they talked, leaving them a chance to start to heal the wounds that were keeping them apart.
Alex’s voice interrupted her thoughts. "Didn’t he mention that there was a kid that got attacked right by there?"
Regina leaned back in Alex’s arms and regarded the sober expression on her partner’s face. "Yeah, he did. The night he came over with Dana’s…um…the German Shepard he rescued. Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring that up." Regina smacked the side of her head. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Just what she needs is a reminder of who shot her.
Alex pulled Regina’s hand down. "Hey, don’t do that." She cupped Regina’s face with her hand and regarded her seriously. "I don’t want you to feel like you have tiptoe around that subject. It didn’t do us much good when we did before. Did it?" Her voice lowered and gentled as she rubbed a thumb over Regina’s cheek.
Regina blinked and stared up at Alex. "No, it didn’t," she admitted quietly and leaned into the caress, glad that they regained the quiet intimacy that had become a wonderful part of their relationship. "Alex, you didn’t really think I was interested in Todd, did you."
Alex darted a sideways glance at Regina and exhaled forcefully. "Blunt and to the point as usual, eh?"
Regina let her hands fall down between her knees and studied the faded and peeling paint on the boat. "Sorry, I just remember…and I wanted you to know, that was never the case."
"I know that." Came the soft, rumbling reply as Alex wrapped an arm around Regina’s shoulder and pulled her close. "I just…wasn’t feeling really very good about who I was or what had happened." Alex hesitated and then looked right into Regina’s eyes. "I couldn’t help but think that it would be a hell of a lot easier for you to be with someone who didn’t have a whole lot of baggage they were carrying around."
"It wouldn’t have been easier," Regina sighed, remembering the long, interminable seconds in the emergency department when she could feel that force, that life giving bond that was her partner’s soul slipping away. "I almost lost you once. I don’t for any reason ever want to know that feeling again. It would kill me."
Alex blinked and let the fiercely spoken words sink inside her soul. "That’s not going to happen. I’m not going to leave you, ever."
Regina studied her and then tilted her head, as she let herself drown in the depths of those blue eyes. "You mean that."
She looked at Regina and smiled. Yes. There were so many things she’d come to look forward to in their relationship and she realized that she didn’t want to have to live without them.
She loved to hear her infectious laughter and watch Regina toss her head back with a radiant smile on her face. What she had grown to like the most, was how Regina would touch her when she was telling her something, just reach out and put a hand on her arm or shoulder. They were simple gestures but they had woven themselves into the tapestry of her soul and awakened a desire deep inside that she long ago shut the doors on.
A tiny smile formed on Alex’s lips and faintly uncertain, pale, blue eyes peered out underneath wind-rumpled bangs. She could feel a moment unfolding between them, one that would forever be etched in her memory as she looked deep into those green eyes and saw reflected back a look that gave her the courage to speak what she already knew was etched forever in her soul. They were she realized, the truest words she’d ever spoken and they came from somewhere deep inside her heart in a rush of emotion.
"We’ve kind of done this sickness and in health thing already and if…you’ll have me…I’d like a chance to find out about the good times and bad times too." Alex waited, watching the stunned expression blossom over Regina’s face.
A second later, she found herself enveloped in a passionate hug that rocked her backwards over the keel of the upended boat and dumped them both unceremoniously in the sand.
Regina picked her head up and brushed her hair back off her face. "Oh, I…that was bad. I’m sorry."
"So that’s what they mean about being knocked off your feet." A low, rumbling chuckle trickled up from deep inside Alex’s chest as she peered up into the mist green eyes.
"Um, I know it’s not the most traditional way…" She glanced around her immediate surroundings with a rueful eye and moved her arm in a wide arc, enjoying the feel of the course grains on her fingers. "No ring and not exactly the romantic setting you deserve, but I promise when we get back I’ll make it up to you."
Regina shook her head and kissed the tip of Alex’s nose. "I don’t need you to make anything up to me." A serious expression took over her face and Regina sat up, straddling Alex’s hips. "In fact, if you told me you wanted to be one of those doctors who travel around the world from place to the next, setting up clinics and the like, I’d be right there with you."
"Really?" An excited fire glinted in Alex’s eyes.
"Absolutely." Regina sat back and smiled, tracing her fingers over the strong, angular planes of Alex’s face. "Do I detect a bit of wanderlust in you?"
Alex’s lips curved into a grin and she reached up lacing their fingers together. "You know what I’ve always dreamed of doing. Travel to some of these countries that don’t have a good medical system in place, teach them what we know and help them set up clinics."
"That sounds like it would be exciting."
Alex wrapped her hand around Regina’s neck and pulled her down for a kiss. It was several moments before they broke off.
Just then, Regina lifted her head and frowned. "Alex, get up." Regina leaned back and stumbled to her feet as the leading edge of the first wave washed up onto the sand.
She winced at the assortment of curse words that spouted out of Alex’s mouth as she hopped to her feet and danced away from the oncoming surf.
Regina glanced up at Alex, watching as sand and droplets of water exploded from her hair as she shook her head vigorously. Her quick reflexes allowed her to avoid most of the water but her sneakers and upper half of her coat were soaked.
Casting an annoyed glance at the incoming tide, Alex muttered under her breath and then turned to look at Regina. "Oh, so you think it’s funny. Huh?" A rakish grin spread over her face.
Regina shook her head and stepped back, doing her best to stifle a giggle. "No, no…but you have to admit it was…Alex," her voice lowered and she started to backtrack up the sand toward the pavement. "Alex don’t you dare, that water is freezing."
"It is, is it?" A diabolical grin crept over Alex’s face and Regina shrieked as the taller woman darted after her.
She managed to duck under the outstretched arms once and then realized as she whirled away that Alex was chasing her right back to the water’s edge. Regina closed her eyes and huddled down waiting for the inevitable…that never came. Carefully, she peaked out from one eye and sucked in a breath when she saw blue eyes peering at her from very close range. Oh damn, she cringed.
"Gotcha." Alex winked and hopped back a step when Regina swatted her arm at her in mock annoyance.
"You’re a brat."
Alex arched an eyebrow and pulled Regina closer to her as another wave swept up over the sand, leaving a sweeping arc of foam only inches from where they were standing. "I am no such thing, but I will be an ice cube pretty soon if I don’t get out of these wet clothes."
Regina fell into step alongside Alex and sighed as she eyed the water dripping from her coat and the puddles forming around her sneakers with each step. "Sorry about that. I looked up and the wave was right there."
Alex snorted and nudged Regina with her hip.
******
They enjoyed a long hot shower that culminated with Regina pushing Alex onto the queen size bed and settling against her warm, naked body. It was nice, she mused, just to lie there afterwards in a contented haze, her fingers idly tracing the contours of her lover’s body.
Later, after Regina’s stomach had made itself known she had run out to the store to gather a short list of supplies that Regina wrote down while she was still lounging in their bed.
Alex purchased everything that Regina requested and even managed to find a kit of multi-colored threads that she used to make bracelets with when she was younger. Alex snorted and shook her head at her childish indulgence as she tromped up the stairs to their apartment.
What would Regina think? Sorry excuse for anything after what I said earlier. With a disconcerted grunt she opened the door to the apartment and stopped, her jaw slackening a little as she took in the sight of the flickering candlelight that was illuminating most of the apartment in a soft yellow glow.
"Bu…wh…Regina?"
"Hey." The smaller woman stepped up beside her and smiled shyly. "I hope you don’t mind, I rummaged through the storage closets and found all these." Regina waved her arm around the room. "Guess you like candles, huh?"
Alex felt one of the bags lifted out of her arms and she blinked as she looked around the apartment that had been transformed in her absence. "I forgot I had all these candles."
"Is it okay?" Regina asked quietly, trying to judge her partner’s muted reaction.
"Okay? Regina, it’s more than okay." Alex set the bag she was holding down on the table and took the younger woman in her arms. "It’s beautiful."
"I’m glad you like it," Regina whispered, against the leather coat.
"I love it." Came the quiet reply. Alex closed her eyes and hugged the smaller woman to her.
They held each other for a few more moments and then Regina peered over into the bag. "Ooh, you got wine."
"Well, I thought it was appropriate for the occasion." Alex let her arms drop to her side and she regarded the contents of the bag with a suspicious eye. "You want some help with the cooking?"
Regina shook her head, pulled the still damp coat off her partner’s shoulders, and set it on a hook behind the door. "No. Go sit over there and relax."
Alex eyed her for a moment and then sauntered over to the leather couch and flopped down. She drew the small kit out of her pocket and peeled the plastic off with her fingers. Her eyes darted over to where Regina was busily chopping something up by the sink. Satisfied that she was engrossed in her task, Alex selected the colors she wanted and started to work on her project.
It was a comforting feeling to sit here in Regina’s presence Alex mused, as she stole occasional glances at the younger woman while she worked on the bracelet. She suspected that all the talking they did over the past few days had brought them closer and the possibilities of where there relationship was going intrigued her.
"Alex?"
Regina’s voice caught her attention and she looked up. "What?"
"What made you think of that kid getting attacked by the clinic?" Regina glanced over and then went back to chopping up the vegetables for the stew she was making.
Alex stopped the motion of her fingers and sighed. "I don’t know. I guess you got me thinking about your patient." Alex regarded the green eyes thoughtfully for a moment and gnawed on her lower lip before she spoke again. "Do you still want to drive back? We could leave tonight after we eat."
Regina stopped what she was doing and looked over at Alex. "No, but thanks for asking. I appreciate it. I’ll call security later on and see if they’ve heard anything. Maybe they’ll have some good news."
Alex watched as Regina dumped several handfuls of vegetables into the pot and then opened a package of meat and started chopping it up into neat cubes. The sound of sizzling reached her ears and the sharp tang of garlic and onions tickled her nose. She glanced down at her handiwork and tied a final knot to secure the bracelet together.
After stretching, Alex tucked the bracelet into her pocket and stood up. Her nose twitched as she inhaled the smells of vegetables sautéing in the pot.
"Wow, that smells great," she offered, as she walked up behind Regina and peered into the bubbling mixture.
"Good. I hope you like it." Regina glanced back over her shoulder. She added the cubes of meat and stirred them around in the mixture.
"I’m sure I will." Alex leaned closer and dropped a soft kiss on the side of Regina’s neck. She smiled when she saw the smaller woman shiver and nibbled her earlobe.
"Hey, no fair. You’re distracting the cook."
Alex chuckled, and stepped back a little and continued watching the younger woman with interest. "How about I pour us some wine?"
"Mm, good idea." Regina wiped her hands off on a dishtowel and turned to face her taller companion. There was something she’d been meaning to do for quite a while now and an opportunity never seemed to present itself at just the right moment, but tonight things were falling into place nicely.
She accepted the glass of wine Alex handed her and sipped it, her eyes twinkling gently as she looked back at her lover over the edge of the glass. "Come with me." Regina reached out and took Alex’s hand, leading her over to the sliding glass door.
Alex reached out, and unlocked the small latch and slid the door open. "It’s a little cold out, don’t you think?"
Regina, not to be dissuaded, handed Alex her glass of wine and stripped the blanket off the bed.
Alex raised an eyebrow. "Are you planning on being out here for a while?"
"Well, the stew does need to cook and I thought it might be nice…" Regina draped the blanket over Alex’s shoulders and then set the glasses of wine out on the rail of the deck. "…If we stargazed for a bit." With a smile, she slipped herself underneath the warm folds of the blanket and wrapped her arms around her lover.
Alex stared at her for a moment before she closed her eyes, tilting her head, as a memory jogged bits and pieces of a simple request made through a haze of pain all those months ago.
Regina waited for Alex to refocus on her and tugged her out the door onto the small deck. "So, I was telling you about Orion’s Belt the last time we did this."
Alex grinned and wrapped her arms around Regina’s middle, pulling her close in front of her. "I remember." You were standing so close to me, my insides were all tied up in knots I was so nervous. I should have known then what was happening to me then.
"Did you know that in Greece, Orion was the son of Neptune?" Regina tilted her head and looked up at the shadowed face behind her.
"He was a hunter and Diana’s lover, right?"
A delighted smile broke out on Regina’s face. "Ah, you remember a bit of Greek mythology, too!"
"I used to read some books about it when I was a kid, yeah," Alex admitted quietly, enjoying the warmth of her lover’s body pressed up against her in contrast to the chill of the night air around them.
Regina reclaimed one of the glasses and took a sip of wine, then offered it up to Alex who willingly obliged her. The taller woman leaned over, cupped Regina’s cheek with her hand, and pressed their lips together, sharing the berry tasting liquid with her.
Alex lifted the glass from Regina’s hand and set it back down on the railing before she reclaimed her lover’s lips in a long, leisurely exploration. Her hands wandered over the soft curves and firm muscles, building a fire in her belly that extended outwards until her breathing became ragged.
She felt the smaller woman tremble against her and eased off, resting her forehead against Regina’s. "We’d better stop that or I know we won’t be eating any dinner. Do you need to check on it?"
"Nah, it’s on a low flame, so we have plenty of time to snuggle," Regina replied, running her hands over Alex’s back. That was another thing that was different between them now she realized. After her injury, Alex had quietly rebuffed Regina’s tentative advances at intimacy, but now that they gotten past that rough spot, it was like they both craved the security of each other’s touch.
Alex hugged Regina against her, nestling the blonde head beneath her chin. There was a contented, peacefulness about standing under the stars like this, something she’d never felt before, but yet somehow familiar and comforting at the same time.
"Give me your hand."
Regina frowned but lifted her right hand and Alex grasped it gently in her larger one. She watched with shy interest as Alex drew something from her pocket and wrapped the finger wide band around her wrist.
"You made this." Regina’s voice faltered, as gentle fingers brushed against her wrist, tying the ends into a secure knot.
"Yeah, I wanted to give you…something today. I mean…" Alex exhaled, but didn’t let go of Regina’s wrist. She stepped around, drawing Regina into the light that filtered through the sliding glass door from inside the apartment. Her heart was pounding so hard in her chest she was surprised that Regina couldn’t hear it.
Regina wasn’t sure but she thought she could see a faint blush covering Alex’s features as she stumbled over her words. Why are you so nervous?
"See, I used to read these books about the Middle Ages, too. My brother and I would pretend we were knights, and plan elaborate battles and rescue people from the evil warlords."
"Who were you rescuing?"
Alex sucked in her lower lip and closed her eyes. "My mother." It was an admission she never made to anyone before and had only recently allowed herself to open those doors to the painful childhood memories she kept tightly locked away. "We weren’t very good at it and most times we just pissed my old man off with all our running around and hollering."
Regina rested her head against Alex’s chest. "I wish I knew you when I was younger. We would have made great friends."
Alex snorted and wiped her eyes, grateful that Regina wasn’t looking up at her. "Regina, I was bad news back then and everyone knew it. Your mother would have taken one look at me when I was a kid and chased me off with whatever she could get her hands on."
"I would have found a way to be with you."
This brought a smile to Alex’s face, knowing that when Regina decided she wanted something she usually got it.
"The um…knights," Alex continued. "They used to paint designs on their shields so they could identify their allies in a battle."
"Like a coat of arms," Regina offered, staring up into Alex’s face with a look of wonder in her eyes.
"Yeah, something like that." Alex’s finger traced the braided lengths of the bracelet. "The colors all meant something. The red symbolizes someone who is brave and strong, the blue is for loyalty," she hesitated, swallowing nervously before she continued. "The gold symbolizes generosity and the green is for hope, joy and love."
Regina started to say something and Alex shook her head, covering her lips with two fingers.
"Let me finish or I won’t get this out. Remember when you asked me why I got into Emergency Medicine last year?"
"Yeah, you said that way you didn’t have to get involved with the patients. Just sew them up and ship them out." Regina recalled the stilted conversation clearly.
"I didn’t give you the whole answer." Alex inhaled, fighting back the hoarseness in her voice. "It was a way for me to try rescue people in trouble. Growing up, I could never do that for my brother or my mother. The funny thing is, after all this time I never realized that I needed somebody to save me too."
"That’s not true."
Alex shook her head. "You were brave enough to stand beside me regardless of the consequences last year. You stood up for me when I couldn’t do it for myself and despite everything you found out about me, you still loved me. Nobody has ever done that before." She hooked a finger under the bracelet and looked into Regina’s eyes. "I just want you to know how much I love you."
"I love you, too." Came the quiet, sure reply. Regina laid her head against Alex’s chest and closed her eyes. Warm tears trickled down her cheeks as she soaked in the meaning of everything that Alex told her.
They stood beneath the starlit sky and watched as it filled with the evening stars. Alex hugged Regina one last time before she reclaimed their wine glasses and guided her back inside.
She refilled their glasses and set them on the table, all the while thinking about how much each of them had changed since they first met. Alex straightened and regarded Regina as the smaller woman walked over to her.
Regina clasped Alex’s hand in hers and kissed it. Her eyes twinkled as she pressed her body against Alex, enjoying the tingle of anticipation that ran up her spine.
Alex chuckled softly and wrapped her arms around Regina. "I guess you’d like to eat later." She gasped softly on the last word, as her belt buckle was unclasped.
"Much later," Regina purred, as she tugged the belt from Alex’s waist and walked slowly backwards towards their bed.
Chapter Twenty-Two
It was a couple of hours before sunrise but Alex was lying in bed awake, thinking. The past couple of days had been a welcome respite from the troubles of the outside world. Alex turned her head and gazed down at the peaceful smile that graced Regina’s face as she slept.
Regina’s question about there being room in Alex’s heart for her, had shocked the older woman into recognizing how much she was still keeping Regina at arm’s length. She wasn’t doing it intentionally, but the fear of being that open and vulnerable to anyone, was getting in the way of showing Regina how much she truly needed and wanted their relationship as a part of her life.
She made a very conscious decision to set aside her fears and let Regina past those final defenses. After all her experiences, she didn’t expect to feel this way or to fall so deeply into something that made her willing to risk her heart again, but despite everything, she had.
So much had changed between them over the past couple of days. Their conversations, at times, were poignantly uncomfortable but in the end, Alex realized that they both gained an insight into each other’s closely guarded fears and insecurities. Last night, she’d fallen in love all over again as she held Regina in her arms. There were moments where she felt like their two bodies had been one person, sharing the same soul.
Alex reached out and stroked Regina’s hair, brushing a few strands off her face. A rush of emotion, made her heart clench and she closed her eyes to fight back the tears that welled up and brimmed her eyelids. I don’t know why or how you came into my life, but whoever might be up there looking over us, thank you.
Beside her, Regina stirred and opened her eyes, blinking as she focused on Alex’s face. "What are you doing up?" Her voice was a bit gravelly and she cleared her throat. "It’s early."
"Watching you sleep." Alex gave her an appreciative smile.
Regina exhaled softly while she curled her hand around Alex’s upper arm and settled her face against the warm shoulder. "Thank you." Regina kissed Alex’s collarbone and smiled, closing her eyes.
"For what?" Alex covered Regina’s hand with hers.
"For making last night so special."
Alex slipped her hand beneath Regina’s and intertwined their fingers. The rest of the world could wait she decided, as she closed her eyes and let Regina’s quiet breathing lull her back to sleep.
******
Later while she finished with her own packing, Regina regarded Alex curiously out of the corner of her eye, as the taller woman stuffed her clothes into her canvas duffel bag. She could see the rigid set of her partner’s shoulders and the subtle tensing of the muscles along her jaw line, her suspicions about the unsettled feeling she sensed growing in Alex confirmed.
She guessed at a couple of things that might be causing Alex’s upset but, Regina knew her partner’s stubbornness would keep her from initiating the conversation so she decided to find a tactful way to open a door for her.
Regina closed her suitcase and then walked over to the small kitchen to retrieve the leftovers from the refrigerator. She filled a bowl with the stew, then, set it inside the microwave and turned it on. Wiping her hands on a paper towel she pulled off a roll, she turned around and watched as Alex walked around the corner.
Anxious, blue eyes met Regina’s and Alex slowed to a halt a few feet away from her. She tucked one hand into her pant’s pocket, hooking her thumb through her belt loop. "Good idea." She motioned with her other hand indicating the leftover food. "We can eat something now and not have to stop on the way home."
"I thought so," Regina replied as she glanced at the microwave, waiting for the timer to go off. When it did she pulled the bowl out and carefully set it on the table with a fork. "You don’t mind sharing, do you? It’ll be less to clean up." Regina smiled and patted Alex’s side affectionately.
The motion became a caress and she moved closer, wrapping both arms around Alex’s waist. She looked up and met Alex’s gaze, matching the taller woman’s smile with one of her own as strong arms enveloped her in a hug.
"Are you okay? You seem kind of quiet." Regina slipped out of the embrace, asking the question in a casual voice.
Alex simply nodded and claimed the chair beside Regina, smiling as a thigh pressed against hers and remained there.
Obediently, she accepted the spoonful of food from Regina and chewed absently. She rested her elbows on the table while her gaze wandered outside the window to the trees that were still several weeks off from setting their buds.
Admittedly, she’d been restless since she’d woken up, an uneasy, edgy feeling filled her gut. Knowing she was going back to work tomorrow had set her mind into overdrive about all the unfinished business waiting for her at the hospital.
Alex’s eyes narrowed as she thought about the upcoming deposition. When she first discovered what was happening, the whole thing seemed like it was a simple case of greed; one doctor’s own ambitions gone awry. Since her return, she’d come to realize her first impression was most likely wrong.
"Here eat some of this." Regina pushed the bowl in front of Alex, interrupting her thoughts.
Alex pulled her eyes away from the window and glanced at Regina. "Thanks." She took the fork and speared a hunk of meat. There are too many unanswered questions and nothing seems to be making sense. Why would someone pull all of those charts out of medical records…unless they’re trying to hide something? There must be information in those charts that they don’t want legal to see. Why take the risk, now? Desperation?
"What’s going on inside that head of yours today?" Intense green eyes regarded her solemnly from close range.
Alex stopped mid-chew and stared at Regina, caught awkwardly between deflecting her concern and allowing the younger woman in on a hunch that she hoped to hell she was wrong about. A chagrined expression crossed her features when she acknowledged to herself that she couldn’t just pretend that everything was okay anymore and expect Regina not to question her.
It wasn’t fair to either of them. They knew each other too well and had come too far, to go down that road again.
Alex wasn’t sure exactly what Regina was thinking, but she didn’t have to. The expression on Regina’s face said it all. There could be no more half-truths between them, not if she wanted what they had built together to work.
It was a simple decision once she took a few seconds to look at her priorities. The tension eased in her shoulders as she gazed back into Regina’s eyes. "How did you know something was wrong?"
Green eyes twinkled back at her in what looked like amusement and Regina ducked her head before she answered. "Mm, let’s see, you furrow your brow and won’t make eye contact when you’re hurting. When you’re nervous you fidget more and when you’re deep in thought you stare out the window for long periods of time. Take your pick."
Regina reached out and laid her hand over Alex’s forearm, squeezing it gently. "You forget, I got plenty of practice reading all those little signs when you were hurt. Lord knows you didn’t verbalize it to me."
Alex pressed her lips together and averted her eyes. "Sorry I gave you such a hard time through all that. You didn’t deserve it." She snorted derisively and shook her head. "It’s a wonder you just didn’t kick me out on my butt some days."
"I wouldn’t have done that to you." Regina edged closer and tucked dark strands of hair back behind Alex’s ear. "I knew some of what you were feeling would get better with time, the rest…" her voice trailed off as Alex met her concerned gaze, "you have a hard time letting people take care of you. Just remember, I want to be able to do that for you if I can."
Regina studied Alex for a moment longer as her thoughts revolved around one of their earlier conversations. She smiled when Alex tilted her head and leaned into her touch. Regina pressed her lips against Alex’s head and sighed, deciding not to bring up the topic of Alex talking to a psychologist just yet. Later, we’ve had such a good time. I don’t want to mess it up. "So, what were you going to tell me?"
Alex exhaled, collecting her thoughts before she answered Regina’s question. Truth time. "Someone at the hospital is covering up what’s really going on with the drug trials. I think Dr. Jameson is just the tip of the iceberg."
Regina straightened in her chair, releasing Alex from her embrace. "Why do you think someone’s covering up?"
Alex watched the limbs outside the window sway in the breeze for a second before she turned her serious gaze to Regina and took in the startled expression. At that moment, she cursed herself for admitting her suspicions and hoped she wouldn’t regret her decision later.
Alex toyed with the fork in her bowl, as her appetite suddenly vanished, replaced with an annoying sense of nausea. "All the patients’ charts that we found who were involved in this supposed study were taken from medical records."
"W…well, maybe the hospital’s attorneys requested them for the deposition?" Regina offered hopefully.
"I don’t think so." Alex shook her head. "I got paged before we left on Friday. The attorney doesn’t have them and wanted to know if I knew where they were."
"Do you think it might the case of the right hand not knowing what the left is doing? I mean we’ve seen that happen before."
"No. I keep thinking there has to be a reason why these patients were picked to be in the study." Alex pressed her lips together and stared down at her hands. "You read those charts, tell me what you remember."
Regina frowned and spread her hands out on the table, trying to pull together fragmented memories during what had been an incredibly stressful time in her life. "They were all cardiac patients."
"Right, I remember that, but there was something else. Let me think for a minute." She stopped and closed her eyes, pulling up details she hadn’t thought about since she’d been shot. The answers were there if she could just remember. After several minutes, Alex slammed her hand down on the table as she got a clear picture in her mind of the admission sheets. That was it! "Not one of those patients had insurance."
"What?" Regina eyebrows rose in surprise as she digested this new information. "I guess thirty patients with no insurance is outside the realm of coincidence."
"I think whoever was running this scam was specifically targeted indigent patients. They knew they couldn’t afford the medical care they needed and would jump at the chance of trying a new medication depending on their individual situation."
"Why would they do that?"
"Normally, the hospital would eat the cost of treating indigent patients. It’s how we maintain our tax-exempt status." She formulated her thoughts as she answered Regina’s question. "If what I’m thinking is right, then, the hospital has stepped up its drug research program because they’ve found a way to offset the financial losses by entering patients into the drug studies instead of treating them with what would normally be the standard of care."
"I just don’t understand why someone would do that."
Alex shrugged. "Maybe whoever decided to do this, wanted the financial gains so badly that they don’t care about the consequences anymore. They had a good thing going for them. No one would have ever found out what was happening if Dr. Jameson hadn’t gotten sick."
"You’re pretty sure someone else higher up knows what’s going on."
Alex nodded her head. "Dr. Jameson was never very organized and he could barely put together a budget without help. There’s no way he devised this whole thing himself. Someone else was calling the shots."
"Any idea about who that might have been?"
Alex tilted her head and pressed her lips together. "I don’t know."
Regina leaned forward and rested her forearms on the table. "I hate to even ask this, but what about Dr. Mitchard."
Alex pressed the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger. "Anything is possible at this point." One thing is for sure. I have to find out who’s involved and make sure they’re stopped before this gets any worse than it already is. She smiled half-heartedly at Regina and stood up. "Let’s head out."
******
The taller woman looked up at the façade of the large medical center after she stepped out of the Jeep in the Emergency Department parking lot. She stretched her arms over her shoulders and shook her head, grateful that after the six-hour drive home the evening before, Regina insisted that she stay the night. I think she was surprised that I agreed so easily, Alex mused.
A moment later, she heard the passenger door shut and watched as Regina walked around the vehicle to stand beside her.
"Are you going to talk to her today?" Regina looked up at Alex and shielded her eyes from the early morning sun.
"Yes. That’s the first thing I’m want to do today," Alex replied as she started to walk towards the entrance of the medical center.
Regina took a breath, forcing her voice to remain calm, despite the nervousness in her gut. "Please be careful."
Alex turned her head and smiled at Regina. "I will be, don’t worry. I’ll page you after I finish talking with her." She slowed to a halt and pulled the glass door open, waiting for Regina to precede her into the building.
"Good, because I don’t want to worry about what you’re up to all day." Regina reached out and touched Alex’s arm as she walked through the open door into the lobby. "Good luck."
Regina stepped out of the way of a woman being wheeled toward the door in a wheelchair. A smile crept over her face when she saw the newborn baby, swaddled in blankets, being cradled in its mother’s arms. The baby reminded her of what her nephew might have looked like at that tender age. That has to be the most incredible thing a woman can do in her life. Regina shook her head and looked at Alex.
"Well, I better go or I’ll be late for rounds on the unit."
"See you later." Alex winked at her and enjoyed the warm smile she received in return.
With a wave, Regina trotted down the hallway and disappeared around a corner.
Alex turned and strode down the corridor, weaving her way through the steady stream of staff members and visitors who were walking in the corridor.
At the end of the hallway, Alex bypassed the elevators and took the stairs, climbing them two at a time until her legs began to burn. The fatigue irritated her and she pushed herself up another flight to the third floor where her office was located. She came to the decision over the weekend that her body was healed enough to start returning to her normal routine of working out on a daily basis. This, she thought, would have to do for now.
At the top of the stairs, she stopped for a moment to catch her breath and collect her thoughts about her impending discussion with Cassandra Mitchard. She needed information and hoped that the Vice President would be a good place to start.
After entering her office, Alex cast a cursory glance at her desk, noting with a combination of irritation and disappointment that no charts from medical records were there. She picked up the phone on her desk and punched in five numbers. She sifted through several pieces of mail while the phone rang several times.
"Medical Records, this is Robin DeSimone."
"Robin, it’s Alex. Where are those charts I requested last Friday?" Alex pulled out her chair and settled into it as she waited for the woman’s response.
"Not even a good morning or how was your weekend?" Robin asked, her voice taking on a hurt note.
Alex opened an envelope and glanced at a memo before she set it down. "Good morning Robin, now where are the charts?" She heard a sigh on the other end of the phone before the director finally answered her question.
"I have a faxed response from the company that converts our charts to microfilm format. It says that those charts were picked up three weeks ago."
"You’re kidding me? Why would they be microfilmed if we need the originals for a deposition now?"
"I don’t know but, I can have them recalled if you need them," Robin offered.
"No. Fax that letter over to me now. I want to read it myself," Alex ordered and then rattled off the number to the fax machine in her office.
"Hold on." A minute later, she heard Robin’s voice again. "It’s on the way. Does this have to do with Dr. Jameson?"
"Why do you ask?"
"No reason. I just like to know what’s going on. That’s all."
"Thanks for your help, Robin." Alex hung up before she could hear the woman’s response. No sense in feeding the grapevine. She swiveled her chair around and plucked the paper out of the fax machine. Her eyes quickly scanned the document and then she picked up the phone again and dialed another number.
The phone was picked up after two rings. "Microdoc, this is Melanie. Can I help you?"
"Yes, this is Doctor Margulies from Saint Xavier’s Medical Center. I need to know if you have some medical records of ours and how quickly I can have them recalled for a deposition."
"Give me a second to bring that screen up on my computer," the woman told her on the other end of the phone. "Okay, read me the medical record numbers."
One by one, Alex read the numbers off to the woman. She heard the tapping of fingers on a keyboard as the numbers were inputted into a computer.
The tapping stopped and then Alex heard the sound of the person clearing their throat. "Are you sure those are the right numbers?"
Alex double-checked the numbers. "Yes, they’re the right ones. What’s the problem?"
"None of those charts appear in our system."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, as far as I can tell, they were never picked up from the hospital."
In response, Alex closed her eyes and pressed her fingers against her temples. "I have a copy of a letter on your company’s letterhead, stating that these charts were picked up three weeks ago by your company."
"Yes, it’s a form letter the computer generates when the charts are processed. We scan the numbers into our system at the pick up site so we can track them from start to finish. I don’t know how a letter got sent out without the charts being processed in the first place."
"Is there a supervisor there I can speak to?" Alex pulled a pad of paper over to her.
"Not at the moment, but I can have him call you later."
"All right, but I want his name and number now." Alex reached for a pen.
"His name is Edward and this is his direct line."
Alex quickly scribbled the information down on a piece of paper as it was given to her.
"Thanks," she replied and hung up the phone.
Alex stood up and stared out the window as she tried to make sense of what she had just learned in the last few moments. Someone was lying, that was clear enough. What she needed to find out was, who and why. With a growing sense of concern, she left her office, locked her door, and walked up three flights of stairs to the fifth floor.
She stepped out from the stairwell and walked down the hallway towards Cassandra Mitchard’s office. Her steps carried her past a secretary’s desk that was, for the moment unoccupied. Good, she thought to herself, relieved that she didn’t have to talk her way past the woman.
Alex hesitated at the door and glanced in to see Cassandra sitting behind her desk talking on the phone. What she heard sent a chill up her spine.
"No, tell them everything is under control. There’s no need to get cold feet. We’re ready to go ahead with the next to studies as planned." Cassandra looked up and her eyes widened when she saw the doctor standing in the doorway. She immediately lowered her voice and abruptly ended her conversation.
As she hung up the phone, Alex stepped into the office and shut the door firmly behind her. "Morning, Cassandra." The dark-haired woman lowered herself into a leather chair opposite the Vice President’s and graced her with a cool smile.
"I have a meeting. You’ll need to talk with my secretary to set up a meeting." Cassandra started to collect a few folders on her desk, pointedly avoiding Alex’s gaze.
"This won’t take long," Alex assured her. The doctor sat back and folded her arms across her chest. "I want the truth about the drug trial that Dr. Jameson was conducting and I want to know where the medical records are for all those patients."
Cassandra leaned back in her seat and gazed at the far wall. "I’m not discussing this with you."
"Robin DeSimone in Medical Records told me the charts were sent out to be microfilmed. I called the company to recall them and found out that they have no record of them ever being picked up. What’s going on?"
Cassandra paled slightly and moistened her lips with her tongue. "Alex, this is something our legal counsel will deal with. That’s why we have them - to protect the hospital."
Alex shook her head in disbelief. "They’ll make sure the hospital is protected! What about the patients? Who the hell protects them?"
The sharp sound of the Vice President’s hands slamming down on the desk punctuated the silence that followed. "This has nothing to do with you. Stay out of it!"
"Don’t give me that line. I’m already involved in the deposition for this whole mess. Why do you think I’m trying to find the charts?"
"Don’t worry about the deposition. It’s simply to tie up any loose ends with Dr. Jameson. Your predecessor didn’t play by the rules and for that he was terminated. With any luck it’ll be a distant memory for us all soon."
Alex crossed her legs and glowered at Cassandra. "Aren’t you worried about the kickbacks he got, putting the hospital in jeopardy?"
Cassandra snorted, picked up a pile of charts, and walked around her desk. "No, the hospital won’t let that happen. Besides all we’ve done is offer patients an alternate treatment regimen."
That’s why the charts are missing, Alex thought. All right, time for a little damage control before I really get myself in over my head. "Well, that’s comforting to hear."
Cassandra studied the doctor, weighing the truthfulness of her words. "So, I take it you’re still on the team then."
"That’s why I came up here." Alex met her steady gaze and held it until the Vice President looked away and cleared her throat.
"Well, I’m glad we finally came to an understanding on this. I’d hate to lose you, Alex. You’re a good doctor," Cassandra replied, pulling herself up straighter. "There’s a black tie affair on Friday night. It’s to kick off the fundraising campaign for the new cardiac wing." She pulled out a square envelope from her desk drawer and handed it to Alex. "As the new medical director of the Emergency Department, you should be there to demonstrate your support."
This is a command performance, no doubt. "I wouldn’t want to miss it," Alex replied.
"Good, I’m glad we got things cleared up between us. I was beginning to worry that we might lose you as well." Cassandra walked to the door and opened it.
Alex smiled. "You won’t lose me."
"Let me know if there’s anything that you need for the clinic downtown. We all want it to be a big success."
I bet you do. Alex fought the urge to shiver in revulsion as she listened to the drivel. "I’ll be sure to let you know," she replied over her shoulder as she walked towards the stairwell. Suddenly feeling like she put in a ten-hour shift already, Alex rubbed her eyes and stifled a yawn before she headed down the stairs to the Emergency Department. She wondered briefly Regina’s day was going any better and hoped that it was.