Disclaimer: Most of the characters presented in this story are property of MCA/Universal (you know who they are) and I have shamelessly borrowed them for my own deviant activities. Thank you. All other characters are figments of my twisted imagination. This is a work of fiction and it’s mine, mine, mine. You (whomever you are) may not alter, reproduce, or post without my expressed permission. That would be very naughty.

Furthermore: This story involves acts of love (sigh) between two women. If this bothers you than I am truly saddened but invite you to read anyway. I propose a friendly challenge for you to open your mind. If you’re not up to it then there’s plenty of non-alternative fiction floating around and some of it is quite good.

Also: This is a dark, moody story with copious amounts of violence. Just a warning. However, love always triumphs.

One more thing: Comments are very much encouraged but incendiary messages will be quietly extinguished by my impassive attitude over such things. Okay, let the games begin!

Copyright ©March 1998

*Author’s Note: The poem Gabrielle recites in this story is not by me (like I have that kind of talent) but by Sor Juana In&eacutes de la Crus. The title of this poem is "Disillusionment" and can be found, in its entirety, at the following site: www.sappho.com/poetry/j_ines.htm.

Warning: Heavy angst ahead...and I mean lots of it.

(Trans. by Etusukio Terasaki and Irma Brandeis)

Chapter 15: Wounds

They traveled into the night accompanied by the sound of Argo’s beating hooves against the cold soil. Xena was slumped against the bard’s back with arms draped loosely around her waist. The warrior was still unconscious and Gabrielle had a precarious hold on the larger woman. She knew that she had to stop soon and check Xena’s wounds but wanted to gain distance between themselves and the war camp so she pushed the warhorse on. Suddenly, the ex-warlord shifted to the left. The bard struggled as the lifeless weight of the other woman became too much to hold. Gabrielle pulled hard on the mare’s reigns just as Xena slipped to the ground. She cringed when she heard the dull, moanless thud of the warrior’s body hitting the earth.

Gabrielle dismounted feeling a sharp pain in her right shoulder as she lowered herself to the ground. Quickly, she turned back toward Xena almost falling in her haste to reach the prone body. "Xena? " The bard touched her ex-lover’s face which she could see clearly in the moonlight, a face which was soft, beautiful and placid. "Oh gods, Xena what happened to you?" Gabrielle’s heart was beating furiously as the reached down to check Xena’s pulse. "Please, please don’t die on me now." A sigh of relief flowed over her lips as she felt the faint beating under her fingertips. "Come on, I need to find somewhere safe so I can tend to your wounds." The Amazon wasn’t sure if Xena could hear her but she talked to her as if she could.

The bard braced herself to hoist the warrior up off the ground. She draped one of Xena’s arms around her shoulder while slipping her own arm around the armored back. Gabrielle stopped as she felt a warm, sticky, wetness make contact with the inside of her forearm. Pulling it back, she saw the red stain which covered her skin. Tenderly, she placed the warrior back down and rolled her over onto her stomach. A breath caught in the bard’s throat as she reached down and felt the ragged puncture wound just below Xena’s backplate. Blood. It covered the warrior’s back and ran down into the ground. Xena’s leather tunic, already soaked, offered no resistance to the seeping wound. "By the gods there’s so much blood." Her hands moved shakily over Xena’s back, not touching but unsure of what to do. Gabrielle closed her eyes trying to stop her rising panic. "Think . . . "

Gabrielle pushed herself up and ran over to Argo. She opened up the leather saddlebags looking for the herbs and wraps Xena always kept there. Grabbing what she needed she moved toward her warrior. Bending down next to Xena she touched the unconscious woman’s arm. It was so cold. She reached around to feel for a pulse and it was fainter than before. Gabrielle fought back tears. "Oh no you don’t . . . you’re staying right here with me. You’ve got a lot of making up to do Xena."

"She’s not the only one Gabrielle."

The bard spun around startled by the voice. "Artemis?"

"Yes my Queen . . . it is." Quietly, the glow of the moon brightened.

Gabrielle couldn’t believe her eyes. Artemis rarely showed herself outside of her own temples and that was only if she was summoned by the Amazons. The Goddess was serenely beautiful and seemed to fill the Amazon with a sense of comfort. "What . . . what are you doing here?" The queen shook her head in disbelief then looked back down at Xena. "Can you help her?"

Artemis shook her head. "No, I can’t. Only you can heal her Gabrielle."

Gabrielle broke into tears. "I don’t know if I can."

"Then it’s already too late for the warrior."

"No, it can’t be . . . she’s bleeding, please help me." The Amazon shamelessly pleaded with the goddess.

Artemis bent down and gently lifted Gabrielle to her feet. Her touch left the bard tingling. The goddess lovingly looked down into the face of her chosen and for the first time in her immortal life she felt the sharp ache of guilt. Damn Athena for forbidding her any action. She had caused her queen so much pain and now was helpless to save her heart. Or was she. "I can only guide you . . . you must do the healing." Gabrielle started to turn away from Artemis but the goddess held her firm. "But I can make it easier on you. There is a cave not far from here and in it you will be safe, for a while. There will be herbs for your warrior. Stitch her up and make poultices. That is all I can do." Artemis released Gabrielle and walked over to Argo placing her hand on the mare’s nose. "Argo will lead you."

Gabrielle’s blue-green eyes softened on Artemis. "Thank you."

Artemis’ own eyes closed as she nodded her head. "Gabrielle, the curse has been lifted from you. Greece remembers now." The bard wrinkled her brow in confusion. "They remember who she was and who she is." She pointed down to the warrior. "They remember Xena the warlord and the Xena who seeks redemption." Gabrielle closed her eyes in relief and sobbed quietly into her hands. Artemis lifted her queen’s chin to look directly into her face. "The journey will be difficult little one. Xena’s actions these past moons cannot be erased and I can feel the Amazon’s hurt as well as yours. They won’t open themselves for that hurt again." Gabrielle nodded realizing what the goddess was saying. "One more thing, " She gently stroked the bard’s face. " Your pain is immense, isn’t it Gabrielle? You’ve lost something haven’t you?" Gabrielle squeezed her eyes tight trying not to break down so completely in front of Artemis but it was if she was drawing out her anguish. "It’s something inside of you isn’t it?" The bard shook her head in affirmation then she noticed that the goddess’ beautiful face had softened into a mask of pure sorrow. "My Queen fight for what makes you so special."

"I don’t understand. "

"In your heart you do. Fight for it. Now go, the warrior needs you."

The bard turned back toward Xena but she was gone. Gabrielle felt her panic rising but a soft hand on her shoulder and a pointing finger led her eyes to the still form of the warrior gently draped across Argo. The Queen smiled at her goddess and Artemis just shrugged. She would take the heat for that one.

Swiftly, Gabrielle mounted the warhorse behind her precious cargo. Tucking Xena across her lap to ease the jarring ride; the bard nudged Argo into a gentle walk. The reigns hung loosely across the saddle horn as the mare moved in an instinctual direction. The moonlight dimmed and the path they followed was conveniently covered in darkness.

Artemis looked on at the retreating figures. Watching the mare lead her two passengers away, the goddess spoke the words her pride would not allow her to vocalize in front of her queen. "I’m sorry." She and Ares had created this torturous journey for their own selfish reasons. Artemis frowned as she realized that ignorance was not only a mortal malady. However, she did not come to this conclusion of her on volition. Zeus, in one of his rare acts of true wisdom, had determined that knowledge of emotion would suffice as a punishment for his wayward children. They would feel the pain that their foolish game had brought their marks. It began as Xena freed Gabrielle.

At first, Ares laughed as he observed Artemis struggle along with the bard. "Xena . . . " The goddess felt the joy of seeing her queen’s love. It was joy. Gabrielle still couldn’t stop the swell of her heart at the sight of the warrior even as she wore the cloak of a warlord. Then there was fear, confusion and anger. "Stupid warlord." Artemis muttered as she shot her smug brother a deadly glare. Ares laughed in response.

The goddess paced around halting when each emotion soared up to Mount Olympus impaling her soul more sure than any of her own arrows. She clutched at her own immortal heart. "I feel so hollow . . . I want to lie down, leave me brother I don’t want to see anybody." Artemis slumped to the floor cradling herself as if trying to find warmth from her own arms. "So sad? What is this malaise that has left me so vacant?"

"What’s the matter sister? This emotion thing isn’t too bad." Ares could feel Xena’s determination and control. The warlord’s inner rage was feeding his own need. "She’s learned so well." He looked down at the sobbing Goddess of the Moon. "Don’t you think?"

Ares was just about to launch into another round of maniacal laughter when his face went blank. He stumbled like a newborn, wrestling with emotions he had no experience with. Never before had Artemis seen such a look of confusion come from the God of War. Xena’s yell reverberated off the walls of his own mind, ‘GABRIELLE! I REMEMBER!’. Ares reached out clutching at something in the air. "Agony," was the only word he could articulate before clenching his jaw and collapsing to the ground.

Artemis was frozen in place but she desperately wanted to reach her fallen brother, to reach Xena. Her heart was racing with Gabrielle’s desperation, body aching with need and want. Suddenly, her muscles released and she stumbled to the ground next to her writhing brother. Minds became one as the imagery of the mortals became their own. They both watched as Xena latched onto Dimitrius trying to extinguish his life with her bare hands.

"Kill Xena . . . kill." Ares reveled in the warlord’s hate. This he knew. This he loved. Finding his strength renewed he pushed himself to his feet absorbing the power of Xena rage. "Yes Xena! It’s what we want." As the sword plunged into her back Ares became deathly still. His godly face drained of color. ‘Pain? Physical pain?’ He was stunned. Tentatively, he reached around to make sure that he didn’t indeed have a wound. None, but the pain was there. He looked at Artemis for help, however, she was now pacing around in her own frantic thoughts and feelings.

"Zeus lift this curse!" Ares cried out in fury. The pain, radiating from his back, was unbearable to the god which had no tolerance for its effects. Then he felt nothing, nothing at all. A frigid wind rushed into the Mounts halls flowing toward the dark god’s body to rob it of his soul. He sank down to his knees relinquishing the strength needed to stand. A numbness emanated from his center as he became apathetic toward his life. Gone was his will to live to as Xena offered her neck to Dimitrius.

Zeus appeared without warning to gaze upon his pathetic offspring. He said nothing but with a smooth stroke of his hand the curse was lifted. He looked solemnly upon them both, silently holding their eyes for a long moment. For Artemis and Ares it was an eternity and they finally understood. Then again, without warning, he disappeared as quickly as he entered. Artemis continued to stare into empty space as Ares shimmered softly away without a trace of his trademark laugh.

Gabrielle gently placed Xena down onto the blankets. The warrior’s skin was dangerously hot as her fever peaked for the first time. Gabrielle placed a cool, wet cloth against Xena’s forehead wishing that Artemis had told her more and grateful that she had observed Xena’s healing techniques so carefully. It had been difficult to stitch the wound. Gabrielle fought to still her trembling fingers as she pulled the needle through the torn skin while a wave of nausea threatened to overtake her. Later, as she dressed the puncture wound with the herbs supplied by the goddess, she wondered why she had been affected like that. Hadn’t she helped the warrior heal the wounds of others’ before? She had performed this same act on a soldier from Athens. Xena had placed the needle in the bard’s hand using her own to act as a guide. Carefully, they both placed the tip at the entrance of the wound. The taught motion of the needle working through the flesh was new to Gabrielle but she didn’t flinch. Xena’s hand tightened on Gabrielle’s as an act of reassurance. She remembered how her heart leapt when Xena flashed her a proud smile. That smile which could weaken and strengthen her at the same time. After that she had sutured many wounds including Xena’s. Why the nausea now?

The Amazon surveyed her surroundings. Argo was cramped in the intimacy of the cave. In fact, the golden mare barely fit into its small confines. Once Gabrielle was sure that Xena was resting comfortably she moved to unsaddle the faithful mount. "She’s going to be okay Argo." The bard’s soothing tone seemed to calm the agitated horse. Argo snickered as she flicked her downy nuzzle toward Gabrielle’s ear. Surprised, Gabrielle let out a small chuckle which reverberated off the cold stone walls. ‘Laughter’. The expression of happiness she had freely indulged in all her life. Now, it seemed like such a rare occurrence. Thoughts of the present mingled with those of the past as she gently stroked the horse’s nose.

She was healing, gradually, with the help of the Amazons. Gabrielle was relearning the simple pleasures which helped to tame a lonely heart and after a while the laughter started to come again. That was before, however, before her memories became tainted by the darkness of the warlord. The bard was thrust back into the grief of love lost. No, Xena wasn’t dead she was death. In a breath she could and would extinguish a life as if she were blowing out a candle. Xena wasn’t the hero of Gabrielle’s scrolls or the villain of stories past. She was ‘Destroyer of Nations’, the most feared warlord in all of Greece. The Warrior Princess was indeed cruel in power and reality.

Gabrielle mourned for her loss of innocence, or naivete, and for the woman whom she helped create in her own mind. Xena had tried to warn the bard. She tried to keep herself distant, detached and protected. Each day she prepared for Gabrielle to find out the truth but each day the bard was there; she was ready to follow, eager to learn and needing to love. So the Warrior Princess softened and relented. The beautiful crimson-blonde of light and innocence made Xena believe in hope and change. She opened herself up to the lessons Gabrielle would teach becoming the student to the master. Her own smile graced her stoic features more often and caresses came without hesitation. Xena was learning how to love and trust, each emotion the hardest to learn.

Still, Xena struggled. The pull was still strong and sometimes the warrior would feel it in the pit of her stomach. It was the blackness that whispered seductively to her while the blood still clung to her sword. The lust for power surged powerfully in her veins like a venom which made her senses hyper-aware of every sound, movement, and bead of sweat. Her way was to conquer, destroy, seek submission and take what she wanted. This was easy to the raven haired beauty. Atonement, love, trust and friendship that was hard.

This was Xena. A woman who struggled every moment to make the right decisions based on the morality of not what she knew but of what she learned. Each step the warrior took was planted carefully along a rocky path. She was not the flawless epic hero to be immortalized in Gabrielle’s scrolls. No, to Xena, it was the bard herself who became the hero. Gabrielle had tamed the monster with nothing more than the softness of her voice, nurturing the goodness that lie buried in her soul. She could see the wildness in the pale blue eyes and realize that redemption meant submission. Fearless, she would walk to the edge with the warrior hoping to keep her from falling in. And when Gabrielle felt the heat radiating from Xena’s skin she knew that to control was to yield. The bard would tilt her head back and part her lips as an offering. Xena would take her then, savage, tender, thankful. The lust would rush over Gabrielle igniting her own flaming desire. Xena took what she needed and that was to claim and conquer the bard. Gabrielle would resist only enough to heighten the warrior’s searing passion. Then she would open herself to the Warrior Princess letting her wetness betray her own need. A feral groan would always erupt from Xena’s throat as she would push her hips against the submissive Amazon.

Again and again Xena would thrust grunting as her own inflamed sex would make contact with Gabrielle’s. When Xena was like this the armor never came off. The bard would grip the swirling breastplate to pull the panting warrior harder into her. Gabrielle cradled Xena against her heaving breasts while letting her moans of abandon pierce the warrior’s soul. Sweating thighs would wrap around a leather waist and green eyes locked with blue. "Are you mine Gabrielle?" Xena would demand against gritted teeth struggling to remain in control. Her thrusts would become more frantic as the mingling of their wetness and the softness of the bard against her would drive her into oblivion. "Are you mine?" Now it was a plea asked in a higher, more fevered pitch as Xena fought the knowledge that it was Gabrielle who came to claim. Breathless, and eyes heavy with desire the bard now controlled the frenzied pace. Tenderly, Gabrielle would stroke Xena’s tortured face letting her finger’s soften the memories as her hips continued moving in an erotic beat. The bard would then answer in a whisper "Yes Xena . . . my heart is yours." This would release the warrior. Raven hair drenched in sweat framed a face caught in rapture. "Gabrielle!!!" Muscles taught in release, eyes shut tight the warrior would let go enabling her love to pour out over her bard. "Oh gods yes," would be Gabrielle’s breathless reply as the waves of ecstasy would break against her body. Then Xena would collapse letting Gabrielle hold and protect her. She had surrendered to the conquering storyteller. No apologies were needed as both fought to regain equilibrium and ardent whispers of love floated from their mouths. Later, they would make love again but this time the caresses were as gentle as the words passed between them.

Xena moaned and it echoed soundly off the granite walls. Gabrielle was at her side in an instant. "Xena," the bard looked down wondering if the moan had been a product of her memories. "Xena can you hear me?"

Dim blue eyes fluttered open at the familiar voice. "Gabrielle?" Xena’s voice was small and weak.

Gabrielle smiled in relief and knelt down to check Xena’s fever. "Yes, it’s me." Her hand brushed against the burning flesh of the warrior’s forehead, a pale face illuminated by torch light.

"Gabrielle," Xena started to sit but was promptly pushed down by the bard’s gentle hands.

"Shhh, don’t try to talk and stay still." Gabrielle moved to get a waterskin. "Here, drink this." She cradled Xena’s head with one hand as she brought the waterskin up to the warrior’s cracked lips.

Xena gratefully accepted the cool drink and Gabrielle’s touch. Although, her mind was fuzzy, she was starting to remember the past events. Groaning, she placed her head back down against the blankets hoping that she would pass out from the pain once again. Her eyes opened when she felt Gabrielle’s hands trying to gently push her onto her side. "What are you doing?"

"I need to check your wound."

Xena rolled her eyes. She didn’t deserve this attention. "It’s fine . . . leave it."

"Xena, not more than three candlemarks ago you were close to dead . . . again. Now I know that you have remarkable recuperative powers but I assure you that it is not fine. Please let me check it." She pushed harder against Xena finally getting the ex-warlord to relent and roll over to her side. Gabrielle touched the wound to remove the poultice and felt Xena flinch from the pain. "Yeah, I thought so. I need to change this. I’ll try to be gentle."

Xena couldn’t help but smile. "Gabrielle I don’t think you know how not to be gentle." She let a small gasp escape as the bard continued to work on the wound.

Gabrielle continued her task trying not to let Xena’s comments affect her. Once finished she eased Xena back down careful not to put too much pressure on her back. She then went to the saddlebags and pulled out a leather pouch filled with white powder. Xena watched the bard through pain laden eyes. Her chest ached at the sight of Gabrielle’s silent movement. Gabrielle moved back toward Xena making sure to avoid the blue gaze that held her. "I want you to take some of this powder for the pain."

Xena shook her head. "No, it’ll put me to sleep and I need to stay-"

"No, you don’t Xena. You’re hurt and running a fever. You need to rest. We’ll be safe here."

"How do you know that?"

"Artemis . . . now please take this."

Xena’s raised an eyebrow ready to question the bard further but a sharp pain dulled her thoughts once again. "Fine, give it to me." She watched as Gabrielle mixed some of the powder with water. The Amazon handed Xena the drink and waited until its contents were gone. They sat in silence until Xena succumbed to the effects of the drug and drifted into a deep sleep.

*****

Gabrielle was slowly coming out of the realm of Morpheus when she felt the familiar sensation of someone watching her. She opened her eyes to find Xena, dressed in her blood soaked leathers, sitting up and staring at her from across the cave. Sometime during the night the bard had fallen asleep while administering cold rags to Xena’s forehead to calm her fever. Gabrielle found herself sprawled out on the bedroll she had laid out for the wounded warrior. She started to speak but was quickly quieted when Xena put a finger up to her own lips. A look of confusion swept across the bard’s face. Xena pointed at the entrance of the cave then to her own ears. Gabrielle nodded then turned her attention to the entrance. She could faintly hear two voices somewhere outside the cave. If it hadn’t been for Xena, she would have never realized that someone was near. The bard looked back over to the warrior finally recognizing Xena’s awkward position. She was, in obvious, pain but still readied herself for battle, chakram in hand. Gabrielle crept over to the waiting warrior.

Xena noticed Gabrielle moving toward her and put up a hand to still the bard but it didn’t stop her. Her eyes widened as the bard moved even closer not stopping until her mouth rested next to Xena’s ear. Softly, Gabrielle spoke so her voice would not carry. "Xena, this cave is enchanted by Artemis. You can’t see it from the outside in fact, Argo is probably the only one able to find it." She pulled back to look at Xena but her blue eyes were closed. Gabrielle assumed that it was because of the pain. "Come back over and lie down. It’ll be okay."

Xena closed her eyes as soon as she felt Gabrielle’s warm breath caress her neck. By a remarkable display of will she silenced the shudder that fought to run over her body. She opened her eyes only to look at the face of the woman she loved. Self-loathing came to her as she noticed the fading bruises which marked the bard’s face. Gabrielle smiled reassuringly and Xena had to fight not to close her eyes once again in fear that the smile held no more love for her. "Will it Gabrielle . . . be okay?"

"This will." It was all Gabrielle had to offer and Xena accepted it.

They sat in silence until the voices faded into the surrounding forests. Then they sat longer each knowing that something was to be said but neither wanting to do it. Xena spoke first. "What are you thinking about?"

"What?" Gabrielle was startled by the abrupt question which fractured the silence.

"Your brow has been in a constant crinkle for the last candlemark . . . perhaps if you said it out loud . . . " Xena shrugged her shoulders letting the sentence fade.

"It’s just a poem that I read a long time ago. For some reason I can’t get it out of my head."

"Recite it for me."

"Xena you don’t want to hear this-"

"I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t. Please."

The queen took a depth breath. "Okay but I can’t remember all of it." Another breath and Gabrielle transformed into the bard. * "Disillusionment, this is the bitter end, this proves you’re rightly called the end of illusion. You’ve made me lose all, yet no, losing all is not paying too dear for being undeceived. No more will you envy the allurements of love, for one undeceived has no risk left to run." Gabrielle finished unwilling to meet the warrior’s gaze. Again, they sat in silence as time crept morosely forward. It was the bard that spoke first, "Like I said, I can’t remember all of it. I’m not really sure what it means."

"It’s pretty obvious to me."

"Is it?" Gabrielle waited for more but nothing came. "Well, there can be many interpretations of the same poem."

Xena shrugged her shoulders and leaned up against the cold stone, careful not to place pressure on her wounded back. Although, the meaning of poetry was sometimes elusive to the reticent warrior (she often wondered why poets just didn’t come out and say what they meant) this poem seemed incredibly lucent. Gabrielle’s reflection of the poem was the mirror of her hurt. Xena closed her eyes and worked on erecting the walls she hoped would protect her. "Gabrielle we can’t stay here much longer."

"I know."

"We’ll go to the Amazons."

"Xena no," Gabrielle paused, trying to measure out the right words. "I don’t think that would be wise."

The warrior’s eyes narrowed. "I understand but it doesn’t matter."

Gabrielle lowered her head and turned from Xena. "If we go back I don’t know if I can stop them."

"Gabrielle, you’ve done enough for me. Whatever the Amazons wish to do to me I’ll take it. Besides, I’m hurt and it’s too dangerous out here." Xena shifted irritated by the discomfort of her wound. "I can’t protect you."

"I don’t need you to protect me."

Xena was stung by the words and was thankful that the dim light of the torch masked most of her expression. At that moment she was sure that nothing would be as it was. "That’s not what I meant. Look Gabrielle, traveling with me is even more dangerous than before. These last few moons haven’t made me any friends and I’ve got Dimitrius to worry about. He’s going to seek revenge against me . . . and you. We need to go and warn the Amazons and I need to heal. I’ll take your punishment then move on." Xena was sure that Gabrielle would no longer want to be with her.

"My punishment?"

"You’re the Queen."

Gabrielle stood, abruptly, not expecting the role of Xena’s punisher. Stunned, the correct words failed to come to her. "I...uh . . . you need to eat something." She moved to the saddlebags and pulled out the dried meat of Xena’s emergency rations.

Xena accepted the food aware of the bard’s discomfort. "It’s okay Gabrielle. I would expect nothing less from your Amazons."

The strawberry-blonde looked at the warrior, ex-warlord, ex-lover, ex-friend. Honestly, she didn’t know what Xena was to her now. Sadly, Gabrielle spoke. "Xena, I’m not sure I could do it."

The warrior gave an ironic smile. "Well, I’m glad to see that some things never change." Gabrielle reluctantly returned the smile. Xena realized that Amazon law required punishment and she would not run from it nor put the queen in a difficult position. Inwardly, Xena would relish whatever revenge the Amazon chose to exact because it would never be enough for what she had done to her love. "You are the Queen of the Amazons and it’s your duty to see that justice is granted. Whatever personal feelings you have, or had, need to be put aside." Xena looked directly into Gabrielle’s eyes making sure the bard would comprehend her next statement. "You need to finish this."

The queen stood motionless for what seemed like forever to the warrior and then almost imperceptibly nodded in agreement. She spoke but her voice was tired. "You’re right . . . I do need to finish this. We’ll leave at dark." Xena nodded her approval. "Can you ride?"

"Yes!" The warrior’s tone was indignant.

"I’m just concerned about your wound. "

"Look, I’m sorry but you know I’m not a very good patient." It was the best apology Xena could come up with.

"That has always been painfully obvious." The bard gently ribbed the warrior. "Will you take some more powder?" Xena shook her head no. "How about some tea?"

"I’ll make it."

"Xena I don’t mind doing . . . "

"It’s easier if I did it . . . I’ll need to mix herbs for healing."

"Can I check your poultice?"

"I already did," she continued after being prompted by Gabrielle’s raised eyebrows. "When you were sleeping."

"Oh, well I guess you’ve got everything taken care of. If you don’t need me then I’ll just be over here." Gabrielle started to move over to the other side of the small cavern. Xena was back to being self-reliant and that hurt the bard. It had taken her so long to get Xena to rely on someone other than herself. It was just another obstacle that had been resurrected and it was becoming easier just to give up.

"I never said I didn’t need you." Xena’s words echoed off the barren rock walls. "Why did you come back for me Gabrielle?" There was no response as Gabrielle remained still, her back to Xena. "Please, I need to know." Carefully, Xena stood trying not to agitate the sword puncture.

The bard felt Xena move up behind her; closing her eyes she tried to get a grip on her conflicting emotions. She wanted nothing more that to turn and bury herself in Xena’s strong embrace but images and words of a warlord prevented this. ‘Xena how can I explain it to you when I don’t understand it.’ She took a deep breath before turning around to face the warrior. "I came back for you because you called my name. You needed me. I couldn’t let you die." Xena reached out to Gabrielle. Her hand briefly made contact with the skin of the bard’s shoulder before Gabrielle quickly stepped back, out of reach. "Xena I’m sorry but-"

Xena pulled her hand away and thrust it behind her as if she were trying to hide it. "No, I’m sorry. Get some rest. I’ll wake you when it’s time to leave." She wanted to cry. She wanted to kill. Silently she cursed Ares. ‘Well you got part of what you wanted. You took away my happiness.’

It had been difficult for Xena to wake the slumbering Amazon. After several gentle nudges and a few firm shakes Gabrielle was finally shrugging off the effects of sleep. For Xena, this brought a secret smile to her face. She had always said that, ‘if everything that was known would be changed tomorrow, the only thing unchanged would be Gabrielle’s ability to sleep through it all." It was almost true.

The bard brought her hands up to rub the sleep out of her cloudy green eyes. She smiled, as she always had, upon seeing Xena’s beautiful face hovering above hers. "Hi."

The warrior drifted back in time to mist filled mornings and her stoic face lit into a broad smile. "Hi." Silence penetrated the cavern as the moment worked to heal both bard and warrior. Reality broke the spell. "We need to get going."

Gabrielle’s smile quickly faded and she pushed herself up. "Okay."

"You need to saddle Argo." Xena gingerly moved over to her loyal companion. "I started to but thought perhaps you should do it."

The bard nodded recognizing Xena’s subtle need for help. She picked up the saddle but cried out in pain as her right shoulder was put under strain.

"What is it?"

"My shoulder . . . I think I hurt it."

"Just now?" Xena made her way over to inspect the damage.

"No, at your camp when I helped you jump onto Argo."

"Oh, let me check." She placed her calloused hands on Gabrielle’s shoulders. ‘At least she didn’t flinch this time.’ Gently, she started to move her hand around trying to feel for something out of the ordinary while, also, cherishing the feel of the Amazon’s skin. "I think you strained the muscle. It will be okay it just needs time."

Gabrielle shook her head irrationally angered by the diagnosis. "Time huh?"

"Yeah . . . hey look, I can probably get this." Xena bent over to grab the saddle but a sharp pain stopped her movements. "Damn."

"We are a pathetic pair." Gabrielle had to laugh at the situation. "Not quite the dynamic duo that once tromped all over Greece saving maidens and roughing up thugs."

Xena raised an eyebrow amused by the bard’s observation. "That was us?"

"Yup, but not all is lost. I have an idea . . . "

*****

Together, Xena and Gabrielle lifted the saddle onto the mare’s sturdy back. After a brief discussion on riding positions they left the comfort of Artemis’ cave, the warrior in front. Once outside Xena could distinguish by the position of stars and various landmarks their approximate location. Surprisingly, they were only a couple of days away from Amazon land. They rode in silence, although, they huddled close due to the chilling air of the changing season. Each tried to ignore the closeness of the other.

Xena chose routes away from well traveled trails or roads wary of her lost army. Only once did they encounter another rider but Xena had ushered them into the darkness of the lush underbrush long before the rider passed. He had Xena’s symbol on his armor. It made both of them very uncomfortable. That night they set up camp letting their bodies follow a set of movements engraved by repetition. They dined on soup made from dried meat and vegetables because Xena was still too weak to hunt. They ate, together but apart, on each side of a small fire while the crackling noise of wood being consumed was the only sound to imbue the camp. Close to the fire Gabrielle laid out the bedrolls noticeably apart. Warrior and bard rested upon the blankets both looking up at the clear Mediterranean sky which was peppered by tiny white lights. Each lost in thought they closed their eyes as the coolness of the waning night enveloped them in sleep.

The next morning they continued until they were near the edge of Amazon land. Gabrielle felt Xena tense through the loose hold she had on her waist. "We’ll walk from here." Xena’s tone was emotionless. She waited patiently for the bard to slide off of Argo then she did the same. Gabrielle stole a glance at Xena but her face was bland and her blue eyes were locked forward. This was Xena’s mask and it was more effective than the wooden type the Amazons wore. It betrayed nothing to an outsider but the queen saw everything. Gabrielle had learned to read beyond the mask and the clenching of Xena’s jaw spoke volumes. The warrior was scared but her gritty determination pushed her forward.

Suddenly, Xena’s stopped, threw her weapons to the ground and crossed her hands above her head then, in an act of total supplication, she lowered herself to her knees. Gabrielle’s eyes widened as the gravity of the situation presented itself in clarity. Never before had the warrior allowed herself to show this kind of vulnerability. Xena was in danger of losing her life to the Amazons. Frozen, the queen watched as her warriors lowered themselves from the trees to surround the pair. Seven women landed softly on the packed earth all with swords drawn. The sun glinted off the polished steel blinding the bard. "My Queen!" she heard one of the Amazons rasp. As their swords dropped down to their sides Gabrielle could see once again. Before her, the woman knelt, quietly whispering thanks to the goddess Artemis for the return of their beloved queen.

"Please rise." Gabrielle could feel her cheeks redden with the ever-present embarrassment she felt as such displays. She turned to look at Xena but the warrior was still kneeling and her head was bent low. A flash of movement caught her eye as one of the Amazons swiftly approached Xena pushing her roughly to the ground. She brought her fist up to punish the warlord but was cut off by her queen’s grasp. "Amazons are not so petty to seek revenge on someone in the act of surrendering."

"But this is Xena."

Gabrielle’s blue-green eyes blazed into the Amazon. "I know who she is and I will not allow you to harm her. Understand?"

"Yes, my Queen." The Amazon bowed slightly. "I will have to bind her . . . the Regent’s orders."

"She won’t try anything-"

"Gabrielle," Xena interrupted. "It’s okay." She held out her hands in front of her.

The Amazon looked at Xena then Gabrielle then back at Xena again. "Tie her up and place her upon my horse." She turned her attention back to the queen. "I’m sorry . . . I have no choice." Gabrielle’s brow furrowed but she nodded in acceptance. She desperately wanted to forget she was Queen of the Amazons.

*****

It was late afternoon when they approached their village and the trees had begun to cast long shadows. Xena remained stolid upon the Amazon’s chestnut mare. Surrounding her, with weapons drawn, were three muscular Amazon scouts. Gabrielle was in front leading Argo and flanked by two warriors. Two women had gone ahead to warn Ephiny of their impending arrival and Gabrielle could see the Regents form near the village edge. As they approached the crowd awaiting them grew in number. Xena noticed the increased number of warriors present. ‘Well, I see that Ephiny’s not taking any chances.’

Ephiny saw Gabrielle first. Her heart raced and she had to refrain from running full speed to greet her. Of course, her healing wound would not have allowed that anyway. Instead she waited, shifted nervously and tried to calm her frayed nerves. Eponin came to stand beside her but her eyes were focused on the bound warrior astride the horse. ‘Why Xena?’ The head of the Amazon Guard and Weapons Master had always considered Xena an ally and perhaps a friend. She struggled to understand Xena’s actions; why did she raise her warlord banner once again?

Gabrielle quickened her pace and called out to the Queen Regent, her friend, the woman that loved her. "Ephiny!"

Ephiny felt her knees weaken but she moved forward determined to stand proud for her queen. They met halfway and each embraced the other. The Regent held on tightly letting her fear escape into a cry of relief. Gabrielle returned the embrace thankful that one part of the journey was over. Ephiny gently pushed the bard back so hazel eyes could assess for any damage. The Regent looked over Gabrielle then she glanced past only to be stopped by the sight of narrow blue eyes’ icily intent on her own. She released the queen then called Eponin toward her. She whispered something into her ear then returned her attention to Gabrielle. The blonde warrior’s face softened and she brushed back a stray lock of crimson-blonde hair from the bard’s lovely face. "I’m so glad you’re back. I...I didn’t know if I would see you again." A tear formed at the corner of her eye and solemnly rolled down her smooth cheek.

Gabrielle caught the tear with her fingertip then hugged the Regent once again. "I know."

Xena watched the scene silently. Her lips curled up into a snarl as pangs of jealousy hammered against her. Ephiny’s love for Gabrielle was unmistakable and apparent to all who witnessed the scene. ‘Do you love her Gabrielle?’ Dark thoughts swirled painting a picture of Xena crushing Ephiny under her boot. ‘How dare you steal my heart?’ Unconsciously, she twisted her wrists tied behind her back trying to loosen them. Unbidden rage surfacing at the sight of her Gabrielle and Ephiny locked into another embrace.

"Xena . . . Xena . . . " Eponin stood next to the dark warrior who stared unwavering at her queens. "Xena!"

The ex-warlord whipped her head toward Eponin. "What," she hissed as her anger spilled over into her voice.

Eponin took a step back. "Easy warlord, your existence in this world is tenuous to say the least. Don’t give us a reason to end it now."

Xena closed her eyes trying to extinguish the possessive anger that threatened to overtake her. She had no right now, no claim to the bard. Time and cruelty had taken that from her. She looked at Eponin and for a moment, she thought she saw a look of understanding flicker across the dark face of the woman who was once her comrade. "I’m sorry."

Eponin, slightly shocked by the apology only shrugged. "Off the horse . . . slowly." Xena complied and slowly dismounted. Eponin pointed her sword toward Ephiny. "Move."

Gabrielle stood with her back to the approaching warriors. Ephiny, who still had her hands protectively placed upon the bard’s shoulders, observed Eponin following her commands. Her face hardened and anger danced forth from her hazel eyes.

Gabrielle noticed. "Ephiny, what is it? " She turned to follow the Regents’ path of sight. Ephiny moved Gabrielle behind her then strode purposefully toward the one that almost destroyed her Amazons. Xena saw the look on Ephiny’s face and braced herself for impact. In three quick strides the Regent was in front of Xena, her fist cocked she unleashed a powerful blow snapping the warrior’s head back. It was a surprise to everyone present except for Xena who faltered slightly but managed to stay upright.

Xena shook her head slowly and looked at Ephiny with glazed and hooded eyes. She understood the violent reaction but it brought her own smoldering anger to the surface infusing itself into her next remark. "Always a pleasure to see you again Ephiny. Perhaps if you untie me, we can greet each other properly."

Ephiny flew at Xena grabbing her by the shoulders and thrusting her knee into a hard stomach. " Xena I’m going to kill you!" Xena grunted and fell to her knees. The injuries had made her weak and she was unable to withstand the Regent’s savage rage.

Gabrielle cried to Eponin who was standing in shock, her mouth open. "Eponin stop her! Ephiny stop!" She moved to protect Xena. Eponin rushed toward Ephiny grabbing her from behind just as she was about to strike again. The two friends struggled briefly while Ephiny’s fury only heightened at the restraint. "Ephiny! What are you doing?!" Gabrielle’s frantic voice halted the two warriors. The bard was kneeling beside Xena her hand protectively placed on her back. Again the bard pleaded in a quieter intonation. "What are you doing?"

Ephiny shrugged off Eponin’s hands. She had become aware of what she had done and didn’t want to disgrace herself any further; as Regent it was her job to set an example. Ashamed as she was, there was still was a knot of rage that resided in her gut, especially at the sight of Gabrielle protecting the murderous warlord. "Gabrielle," Ephiny turned to look at the rest of the Amazon’s that witnessed the display. "...my sisters I’m sorry. I don’t really understand what’s going on here but what I do know is that Xena hurt you and Solari. Many of our sisters died Gabrielle and it was Xena’s army that shed their blood."

" Ephiny, I need to talk to you privately." Gabrielle’s voice was soft and reassuring. She looked over to Xena whose face was pale and whose eyes were focused on the rough ground beneath her. "Xena you’re in pain let me help you to the healer’s hut."

Xena’s jaw clenched as she brought her steely gaze up to meet the bard’s. "I don’t need your pity Gabrielle. Just have one of the other’s take me." Her voice held neither anger nor malice. The queen only heard resignation in Xena’s low tone. Resignation of the love that Gabrielle once held only for her. Again, Xena bowed her head and began to study the small grey rocks embedded in the soil.

Gabrielle stood removing her hand from Xena’s back. "Eponin you will be in charge of Xena’s care. Come get me when the healer is done with her." Her next sentence was spoken so everyone could hear. "She is not to be harmed." A small wave of voices erupted from the crowd but was quickly silenced by hardened stares of Eponin and Gabrielle.

"Take a squad with you Ep . . . in case she tries to escape." Ephiny’s practical advice was overshadowed by her obvious distaste of the warrior.

Eponin nodded then grabbed Xena’s left arm helping her to stand. "Let’s go warlord." She motioned for several Amazons to follow.

"Don’t call me that."

"What?"

Quietly Xena spoke, "Warlord."

Eponin didn’t want to feel sympathy for Xena but she did. "Fine . . . move."

*****

Ephiny and Gabrielle walked silently to the queen’s hut followed by four of the Royal Guard. Gabrielle entered first then Ephiny while the guard remained stationed outside. As they stepped into the fading light of the hut the Regent grabbed the Queens arm and pulled her into another fierce hug. Gabrielle gasped at the urgency in which Ephiny held her. "Ephiny," she struggled for breath. "I’m okay."

Again, Ephiny held the bard out at arms length studying intently for any signs of damage. She ran a trembling finger over the fading bruise on Gabrielle’s right cheekbone. "I need to know if she hurt you." Her voice shook from the fear of the younger woman’s answer.

"You saw how I got that bruise Eph. Of course, Xena hit me but you and I both know that I’ve had worse by bandits." Gabrielle walked over to a chair and wearily slumped into it.

"That doesn’t make it okay and that’s not what I mean Gabrielle." The queen shook her head which conveyed her lack of understanding and Ephiny continued. "When Solari-"

"Solari! Did she make it?" Gabrielle was out of the chair as soon as she heard her friends name.

Ephiny smiled at the bard’s concern but quickly that smile faded. "She’s alive but being watched. We have healers stationed in her hut night and day. She took a vicious beating. That girl is definitely lucky she’s made it this far. Answer my question Gabrielle. When Solari returned, she told us something . . . disturbing."

"What?"

"What happened at Xena’s camp? What did she let those men to do you?" Ephiny paused and swallowed hard. "What did she do to you? Did they...did she rape you?"

"Oh Ephiny," Gabrielle moved to take the Regent’s hand in hers. "Xena didn’t let anybody touch me including herself. In fact, she killed one of her lieutenants because he tried." She dropped Ephiny’s hand and moved back to the chair, resting her head in her hands. She shook her head in disbelief as if she was just now trying to figure out the events of the last several days.

Ephiny refused to believe her. "Gabrielle please you can tell me. If anything happened, we need to have a healer check-."

"Ephiny she didn’t rape me!"

The Regent stepped back surprised at the fervor in Gabrielle’s voice. "I’m sorry. It’s just that the man that beat Solari told her that you were . . . well used by Xena’s men."

"He lied." Gabrielle’s tone was short even to her own ears and she frowned apologetically. "I’m sorry, I’m just tired and dirty." She looked down at her body and crinkled her nose to make a point. "I’ll tell you the whole story if you let me bathe and eat first, deal?"

Ephiny smiled. "You do smell."

"I’ve had a rough week."

"I’ll set it up . . . should I double the dinner portions?"

"Please."

Ephiny’s smile turned to laughter. "It’s good to have you back." She turned to leave the hut.

"Ephiny come back in a few candlemarks and bring Eponin and . . . stay away from Xena."

Ephiny froze at the door. "I’ll be back in a few candlemarks."

*****

"Eph!" Ephiny’s walk to the kitchen was halted by her friends voice. She turned to see Eponin running from one of the healer’s huts to stand next to her. "How’s Gabrielle?"

"Tired, dirty and smelly."

Eponin smiled to display a chipped front tooth she earned from the Warrior Princess, not long ago, in a rather heated practice session. "I imagine. It’s good to have her back." Ephiny nodded thankfully. "I, uh, just wanted to make sure that we were okay."

"Of course we are." The blonde Amazon extended her arm toward her friend to have it clasped in a firm grip. They stood forearm to forearm and no other words were needed. "Well, I have matters to attend to." She flipped her head back over to the healer’s hut. "How’s the warlord?"

Eponin shrugged her shoulders. " I’m just going in there to check. I’m sure that wound would have killed any normal woman but it’s probably just an inconvenience to her. You know Xena."

"No, I don’t know Xena. A few months back perhaps, but now . . . no. It’s weird Ep. I woke up yesterday and it’s as if we had all been living in some sort of alternate reality. I can’t put all the pieces together like huge chunks of time are missing. Gabrielle was here without Xena and before that alone in Poteidaia. I mean, we know Xena right?" Eponin gave an affirmative nod. "Gabrielle and Xena were together and I always thought that she would be Gabrielle’s bond mate but what happened? What possessed Xena to go back to being a warlord? And Eponin," her voice softened as she leaned closer to her friend. "Why do I find myself hopelessly in love with Gabrielle?"

Eponin reached out and put her arm around the narrower shoulders of the Regent. "I’m confused too Eph. Go and take care of business. I think the only one that can answer all those questions is waiting for a meal and a bath."

Ephiny returned to her earlier route while Eponin made her way into the healer’s hut. Once inside she greeted the Amazon guard who stood ready near the door. Upon a pallet lie Xena, now stripped of her armor and leathers but covered by a light sheet; the sheet’s white color a sharp contrast to her bronzed skin. In the corner, the healer stood preparing what was needed. She was thin and rather young for a healer but good. The healer looked at Eponin briefly before returning to her task; her own thoughts were on the time Xena saved her sister and the reason she volunteered for this duty.

The head of the Amazon warriors strode confidently to the edge of Xena’s pallet. Blue eyes never wavered off the spot on the ceiling they had fixed on earlier. Eponin studied the warlord who seemed to be indifferent to her presence. "Afraid to look me in the eye Xena?" The Warrior Princess let a bored look drape her face and slowly turned to meet Eponin’s gaze. Still, she said nothing. "Why?" Eponin desperately wanted to know. Xena held Eponin’s eyes for a moment longer but turned her focus back to the ceiling unable to answer. "We trusted you. Let you in and this is how you repay us? Won’t even spare an explanation, huh? When you left your army more than two winters ago, people doubted you . . . said you couldn’t change. They were right Xena. You can’t change no matter how much Gabrielle wanted you to." Eponin bent low and held her face close to Xena’s. "She loved you so much . . . believed in you. She made us believe in you. Physical wounds may heal but sometimes the heart never does. If you have scarred her spirit, her ability to love, then the pain you feel now will be nothing to the pain you’ll feel from the Amazons."

Xena turned her head from Eponin’s verbal assault. She knew every word was true except for the last statement. Again, she turned to face the angry Amazon. "What is pain when your soul is gone?"

The infinite sadness in the dark warrior’s voice caused Eponin to halt anything more she may have said. Instead, she straightened and nodded to the healer. She left the hut more confused than before.

*****

"Dimitrius don’t be a fool!" Raynos was not in the mood for this jilted lover routine. "She’s gone. It is over!"

Dimitrius limped around the table in the command tent stopping a few paces in front of the shorter man. "It is not over!" He slammed his fist onto the wood. "How many times is she going to get away with making us look like fools?"

"Hey, don’t use the word ‘us’. I did as I was ordered and she never made me look like a fool. You betrayed her so what the Tartarus was she supposed to do? Let you take her army? Hera’s cursed tits, what’s happened to you?"

"What’s happened to me? What’s happened to you?! That woman was going to betray us."

"You don’t know that."

Dimitrius let his mouth drop open in frustration. "I do know! Ares himself told me and if you can’t trust a god . . . well, you know the rest."

"Xena never trusted Ares. What makes you so sure?"

‘Stupid man, so loyal toward that bitch.’ "Of course, why didn’t I see it before . . . you love her too."

Raynos looked in amazement at the traitorous lieutenant’s bizarre behavior. "Dimitrius you are not well."

"Oh I’m better than I’ve ever been. In fact, I’m seeing things perfectly. What is it with the Warrior Princess, huh? Is she that good of a lay? You and that Amazon whore take turns? You were my friend. I trusted you and you betrayed me." Dimitrius’ eyes took on a menacing glint. "I need your men."

Raynos took a step back as the situation got extremely uncomfortable. "I followed Xena not you. I’m taking my men with me. I suggest you get some help." Raynos turned to leave but soon realized his mistake. "Stupid," he muttered under his breath. He slumped to his knees desperately trying to reach around to his back.

Dimitrius sneered and kicked Raynos off his sword. "It wasn’t asking . . . I was telling." He wiped the blood on the fabric of the fallen man’s pants. He sheathed his sword and continued outside in a slow painful gait. Dimitrius would take some time to heal then he would seek his vengeance. Upon the earthen floor Raynos lie dying. He did not think of things left unsaid to loved ones, or how unfair life had turned out to be. Instead, he drifted into the lightness that enveloped his body cursing himself. He should have never turned his back on an enemy.

*****

Gabrielle sat at the table enjoying the remnants of her meal. She had bathed and changed into a familiar and fresh set of clothes. Reaching over to fill her wine goblet she heard the light rasping at her door. ‘They’re early,’ she smiled understanding the amount of control it must have required to wait this long. "Come" Ephiny entered first then Eponin. They were greeted by the scent of cooked fruit and lavender mixing into an inviting fragrance. Both their eyes rested on the form of Gabrielle who looked quietly beautiful in the soft lights of the candles. Eponin could even forgive the sight of the Queen’s hideous green top which somehow looked shorter than before.

Eponin continued to survey the surroundings until her gaze rested on Ephiny whose own eyes were intent on Gabrielle. ‘Uh oh’. She cleared her throat hoping to get the Regent’s attention. It didn’t work. She looked at Gabrielle who seemed intent on finishing the last of the baklava and very oblivious to Ephiny’s lustful attention. "So my Queen, " she looked at Ephiny again. ‘Gods woman do I have to hit you over the head?’ "I hear you have an explanation for us."

Gabrielle looked up and wiped her hands free of the sticky dessert. "Yes, I do." She looked at Eponin thoughtfully. "How’s Xena?"

The dark Amazon saw the very visible grimace come to Ephiny’s face but she turned her attention to the inquiring queen. "The healer is still watching her. I guess she lost a lot of blood but will come out of it fine. They gave her a sedative which should put her to sleep for quite a while."

"Will you keep an eye on her?"

"I have guards posted outside the hut."

"I still want you to come get me when she wakes up."

Ephiny stopped Eponin from answering, "Gabrielle, how about that explanation."

The bard looked up at her friends. "Have a seat." She waited until they both looked comfortable then began. "Okay, where should I begin . . . "

The candles had burnt down low and the remains of Gabrielle’s evening meal had been long since taken away. Two Amazons sat virtually still while the other captivated them with a story too amazing to believe. The queen told the tale with animated movements, barely controlling anger at one instance and reliving others with open anguish. The pathos of the story was evident and the two strong Amazons found themselves on the verge of tears more than once. In the end, nothing was clear except for the bard’s confusion over her own differing emotions. Logic and reason told her that Xena’s actions had been influenced by a vengeful god. The Xena she had been traveling with, the woman whom she had fallen in love with, was no longer capable of the brutal acts committed against her, the Amazons and others. However, what had driven those actions that Gabrielle was unfortunate enough to witness? Those actions which had always lay hidden within the warlord who had been created long before Ares stepped in, that summer day, to take her away. It was that warlord the War God craved to control. He did not create Xena but he coveted her.

Gabrielle sat, looking at nothing. She could see only the darkness that had brought discord to her life. Xena was immersed in that darkness and it shook the bard leaving her only with questions. How could she love what she now feared? How could she not love the other half of her soul? Xena was the woman that completed Gabrielle; she made her whole. She understood this but still battled. Could she trust Xena? Would she be able to face this pain again if Ares came to claim her once more? Gabrielle wanted to lose the images of the past days especially those of Xena’s infidelity. Of course, how was Xena to know that she was to be faithful? How was she to know that a simple bard had ownership of her heart? But she did know didn’t she? Gabrielle thought of the kiss in Xena’s tent. She said, ‘it’s you’, as if she had known the Amazon all along. ‘I haunted her and she protected me the best way she knew how.’ Even under the spell of a god Xena still felt her love for the Amazon Queen.

"This is incredible."

Eponin’s sturdy voice brought Gabrielle out of her reflection. "What?"

"What happened with you and Xena . . . and us." Eponin continued.

Ephiny stood up looking a bit shaken. " I should have realized that Ares was involved." She reached for a waterskin and took a long pull off of it.

Gabrielle smirked, "How could you have known that? Your memory was gone. When I came back to the village, you didn’t even remember Xena except that she was a warlord. When did you remember that Xena and I had been traveling together?"

After an extended pause, Eponin decided she would answer for Ephiny who was seemingly taken with the waterskin.

"We don’t know. All I remember is that you and Xena split, you went to Poteidaia and Xena raised her warlord banner again then we went to get you because Xena was threatening our borders. You know the rest."

"Ephiny," Gabrielle looked over to her friend whose face remained masked in the shadows. "Do you remember what I told you that first week of my return?"

"No"

"What do you remember?"

"Basically, the same as Ep but I also remember you being sad over the loss of Xena and how I tried to, um, comfort you."

"You don’t remember my stories of Cera?"

"Whose Cera?"

"That answers that question."

Eponin, displaying warrior practicality, decided to move the issue forward. "Okay, what happens now?"

The bard opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by Ephiny. "We can’t trust her yet. Her crimes against the Amazon Nation must be punished."

Eponin disagreed still choosing to believe in the friend whom she met so many mornings on the practice field. "Yeah, but she was under Ares’ influence. Surely we can’t fault her for that?"

"Even so Ep, he only returned her to what she was . . . before she met Gabrielle. He didn’t make her evil." Ephiny turned toward Gabrielle. "I’m sorry Gabrielle, but that’s who she is. I fear that she can never really leave her past behind her."

The Queen looked at the two women who had become her most trusted advisors in Xena’s absence. She understood them both and how, ironically, their two arguments represented her own turmoil. She rubbed her temple in frustration. "It’s late and I’m sure we won’t resolve this tonight. Get some rest and meet me here for breakfast, but make it a late breakfast." The two Amazons didn’t argue and bid the Queen a restful sleep.

Gabrielle changed for bed pulling out a sleeping shift that had been tucked away in her dresser. She had forgotten about it until she came across it earlier. She brought the garment up to her face and inhaled the scent which still permeated the fabric. Lovingly, she ran it across her face then pulled it on over her head. That night she fell asleep with the sweet fragrance of the Warrior Princess close to her body.

Much to her own surprise, Gabrielle was up shortly before dawn. Unfortunately, her rest had been fitful and she had awoken several times during the night. The last time, she found her blanket wrapped tightly around her neck leaving most of her body exposed to the icy morning air. She had been battling this blanket most of the night and with each toss of her body the offending blanket won. Rather than endure this conflict any further Gabrielle chose to rise.

The Amazon Queen stretched her finely muscled body by raising her arms high above her head. She brought them down rubbing her hands on Xena’s shift. Gabrielle stripped it off and held the garment to her face as she had the evening before. The bard moved to her own clothes as she decided, abruptly, that Xena needed to be checked on.

The Queen’s gait toward the healer’s hut appeared to be relaxed as her hips swayed gently under covering of Xena’s black cloak given to her the night of their escape. She took in the sights and smells of the village which was now preparing itself for the day’s activities. The sky was clear and purple as the sun started to rise over the eastern horizon. It was colder, as the fall season gradually deepened, and the bard could see the leaves starting to pile under the trees. Splatters of orange and red in the morning’s gray light made the brown earth a canvas of color. The air stung her lungs making her cough once or twice before acclimating to the coolness of it. She regretted that she always slept past this part of the day.

Nearing the hut she could see four Amazons patiently standing guard. Eponin was approaching from the direction of her own hut, a mug of tea in her hands. Gabrielle smiled at her friend and waited for the warrior to join her. "Good morning Ep." She noticed the puffiness around the stocky Amazon’s eyes which signaled that she had not been up for long.

"Good morning. You’re up early." Eponin took a sip of her tea.

"Yeah, couldn’t go back to sleep."

"Uh huh,"Eponin eyed her warily and tilted her head toward the healer’s hut. "Going there I presume?"

"I need to."

"Good, saves me the trouble. I’ll see you at breakfast then." Eponin turned back toward her own hut feeling very much like the lazy warrior she rarely was.

Gabrielle watched her friend retreat then took the last few steps to the healing hut door. She paused to straighten out her skirt. "Gods what am I doing?" She muttered to herself. This drew an interested look from the guards nearest to her. Carefully, she opened the door hoping it wouldn’t squeak in case Xena was still sleeping. She moved into the hut and waited for her eyes to adjust to the muted light. She saw Xena, apparently sleeping, on the pallet. The interior guard greeted her warmly which the queen returned in the same manner. She then led the guard to the door. "How did it go?" Gabrielle whispered.

The Amazon shrugged her shoulder before whispering back, "Fine I guess. She slept after the healer worked on her and cleaned her up. She didn’t wake once."

Gabrielle looked at the guard before turning her attention back to Xena. "I relieve you of your watch. Go have breakfast."

"But my Queen I should wait for my replacement."

"It’s Gabrielle and I’ll wait for your replacement." The bard gave her best ‘don’t argue’ look until the guard relented and left the hut.

Gabrielle moved toward the pallet studying the warrior as she did. "Xena, I know you’re awake. You can stop pretending." A smile came to Xena’s face as one blue eye was exposed then the other. The bard also smiled. " Uh huh, I thought so."

"How’d ya know?" The warrior’s voice was rough from the night’s inactivity. The sound was always endearing to Gabrielle.

"Tight jaw." Xena raised an eyebrow and Gabrielle blushed. "I used to watch you all the time. Your jaw isn’t clenched when you sleep? How are you feeling?"

"Hmmph," Xena strained to sit up causing the sheet to fall from her naked body. Gabrielle quickly turned away from the sight. "The wound wasn’t that bad and . . . " Xena noticed the bard had turned away. "Can’t even look at me now?" Xena pulled the sheet back over her body.

Gabrielle’s position remained unchanged. "Gods it’s not that. It’s just that . . . well I . . . " She wanted to say, ‘The sight of you still makes my knees weak and if I look at you I’m afraid that I’ll fall into your arms.’ However, the bard wasn’t ready for that yet.

"I know Gabrielle. I’m a stranger to you now." Xena stared at the bard’s back wishing that her words weren’t true. "Can you find me something to wear? My shift, leathers and weapons have been replaced by this sheet."

Gabrielle turned around bracing herself for a naked Xena. She was relieved and disappointed that the warrior had covered herself. "Sure," the bard looked around the room which was getting lighter as the morning sun progressed upward. "I don’t see anything. I’ll have to go back to our hut and get one of your old shifts."

The warrior displayed her trademark smile and spoke softly in reflection. "Our hut, that seems like so long ago. When did we come here last? Five moons ago for a festival?"

Gabrielle grinned and moved to a chair placed next to the pallet. "It was for the summer festival and it was five moons and eight days. But who’s counting?"

It was Xena’s turn to grin. "I know I was just testing you."

"Oh really? What else do you remember about that festival?" Gabrielle chided Xena, obviously, not believing the warrior’s previous statement.

"Let’s see . . . I remember that Argo threw a shoe on the way here, it was blasted hot and you insisted on stopping every candlemark. I remember that I chipped Eponin’s tooth during staff practice," Xena smiled at that memory. "You ate all the baklava and drank too much wine. I carried you back to the hut and . . . " Xena’s eyes riveted to Gabrielle’s as they both recalled what happened next. "And I made love to the most beautiful Amazon in the village." Although her voice had lowered with passions remembered, it also carried the sadness of moments lost.

That beautiful Amazon stood and came to sit next to the hurting warrior. "Xena, you do remember."

"Yes, and I remember things I wish I didn’t." Tentatively, she reached for Gabrielle’s smaller hand and as their fingers entwined they both felt the strain of the past months ease, a little. "I’m so sorry . . . I don’t know how to make any sense of it. I never meant to hurt you I just . . . " Xena said before disengaging herself from the bard and angrily hoisting herself to her feet. She wrapped the sheet tight around her body and moved toward the only window in the hut. Looking out into the village center she spoke again, "Hades! That sounds so ridiculous ‘I never meant to hurt you’, but that’s what I did. I understand if you never forgive me . . . I’ll never forgive myself."

Gabrielle’s heart softened at the sound of Xena’s aching voice. She could never stand to see her warrior torture herself with guilt, even if it was the echo of good seeking a way out from Xena’s soul. The gentle bard came to stand behind her tormented warrior; Ares had given them both deep scars. Slowly, as if moving against tumultuous waters, Gabrielle reached out to Xena. A tentative hand rested upon a sheet-covered waist and a breath was caught before the exhale. The other hand caressed and another breath was denied. Trembling arms pulled and weak legs obeyed. Her arms completed their circle and bronze skin under a white sheet melted into the embrace. The Amazon Queen, no longer able to deny herself, rested her face upon Xena’s broad back. Finally, an exhale of tortured breath and tears fell from eyes of blue and green. "I miss you Xena."

"Gabrielle." Startled, bard and warrior regretfully broke from the tender clasp to face the intruder. Ephiny stood in the doorway outlined by the sun behind her back. Her warrior face remained unmoved but inside she screamed.

The queen squinted into the light while her arms still yearned for Xena. "Ephiny what is it?" She saw Xena stiffen and stand taller. The warriors knew what this was about.

"Eponin said you were here and I believe we have matters to discuss this morning."

Gabrielle shifted uncomfortably. "Right. I’ll meet you in the council hut shortly."

"I think we need to discuss these matters right away." Ephiny spoke to Gabrielle but looked at Xena.

"Ephiny please-"

"She said she’d be there shortly." Xena’s menacing pitch cut the bard’s reply short. The taller women stood matching glare for glare, eyes narrowed and muscles tensed.

The tension was palpable and Gabrielle placed herself equal distance between them; she claimed neutral ground. "Ephiny, please meet me in the council hut. I’ll be there in a few moments." Ephiny failed to move. "Please."

The Regent shot an impatient look at her queen. "Okay Gabrielle . . . I’ll be expecting you soon." Without looking at Xena she left the hut wishing that the heart of the bard belonged to her.

Xena watched Ephiny go before turning her back to Gabrielle once again. She understood how Ephiny felt about her and Gabrielle. ‘Hades Gabrielle . . . do you realize how much she loves you?’ Xena wanted to be understanding toward the Queen Regent. She wanted to try and mend the hurt between them and rebuild a mutual respect which was seemingly lost. However, a powerful jealousy would allow nothing more than words laced with hidden threats. Xena shook her head ‘I have no right. I look at Ephiny and see the wound across her ribcage; I gave her that and it was meant to kill her.’ Xena shut her eyes tight against the recollection and the knowledge that the blood of other Amazons (some of whom she drank with, practiced with, and taught) coated her hands. ‘ I have so much to regret . . . to be ashamed for but each time she looks at Gabrielle I want to reopen that wound. Ares is right . . . I’m nothing more than a warlord.’

Gabrielle saw the muscles in Xena’s back tighten then the slight drop of her shoulders. "Xena, I have to go." Her voice was filled with the desire to stay. "I’ll come back later . . . we can talk."

"Just go do what you need to do and don’t worry about me." Behind her wall once again, the taciturn warrior returned.

"Xena, please don’t do this. I know we’re both hurting-"

"Gabrielle, just go. You have ‘matters’ to discuss and Ephiny’s waiting for you."

"Okay Xena . . . I’ll be back." The bard took a deep breath and left the hut instead of doing what she really wanted to do; she wanted to reach out and soothe the brooding warrior with her touch.

Xena waited for the bard to leave before she muttered into the emptiness of the dwelling. "I don’t deserve you Gabrielle."

*****

Ephiny and Eponin awaited the Amazon Queen in the council hut. The Regent paced impatiently and fine hands brushed through blonde curls for the hundredth time, or so Eponin thought. "Gods woman have a seat. Your pacing’s making me dizzy." Ephiny shot her friend a hard look then resumed her travels. "Okay don’t sit. I do enjoy the seductive movement of your skirt anyway."

"Eponin!" Ephiny, still now, stood staring at the amused warrior who leaned back triumphantly in her chair.

"Made ya stop."

Ephiny shook her head in frustration and sat next to Eponin at the council table. "At least somebody thinks I’m seductive."

Eponin placed her hand upon the Regents forearm. "Do I hear a hint of self-pity?"

Ephiny yanked her arm from her friends touch. "Is it so easy to make fun?"

"No Ephiny, but it’s time to face reality."

"And what reality would that be? Seems like that’s been getting altered now and then."

"The reality that will never change . . . Gabrielle loves Xena. She always has and she always will."

"You don’t know that."

Eponin let her jaw go slack with disbelief. The subtle route wasn’t going to work with the Regent. "Ephiny, let’s get a grip on what’s happening here. You’re falling in love with Gabrielle and I understand how that could cloud one’s understanding of reality," the warrior continued as gently as she could. "But it is time to face the facts. I’m your friend and I don’t want to hurt you, but Xena holds Gabrielle’s heart and whatever happens . . . even if they aren’t to be together again, our Queen will never be whole without that warrior. Could you be happy with only half a heart? Because, I fear that is all you’ll ever get if you pursue this."

"Why? Why does she love that murderous . . . " Ephiny rubbed her face in frustration. "After all that Xena’s done to her . . . to us. How can you be so sure?"

"Because a love like theirs doesn’t go away . . . no matter how hard people or gods wish it so."

Ephiny shook her head. "What if she hurts her again? I was there . . . I saw each blow and felt them as if they were battering my own body. By the gods, Xena was a harpy out of Tartarus on that battlefield. Eponin, together you and I have seen warfare . . . been a part of it. But seeing Xena emerging from the dust and smoke at Isios I felt for the first time in my life fear . . . real fear. I had not known . . . that before, when facing an opponent, the feelings that rushed through me were based on survival and adrenalin, but never fear." She looked at Eponin and paused, wondering if she should go on. " Have you ever felt death without actually dying?" The other Amazon wrinkled her brow and shook her head as if to say ‘of course not’. "I have," the Regent noticed that her hands were shaking. "It was the heaviest weight in the world. I couldn’t run fast enough, couldn’t react, couldn’t save my friends . . . helpless. It emerged from Xena . . . her power and will. On that field, I realized that if Xena wanted you dead it would be so."

Eponin glanced down to Ephiny’s wound. "You survived . . . thank Artemis."

"Yes, it probably was Artemis but it was also Zeritha who deflected the chakram. In my heart, however, I know that if Xena wasn’t so intent on grabbing Gabrielle she would have finished the job. I look at Xena now and try to understand but all I feel is fear. I hate myself for it and I hate her for making me weak."

"I didn’t know Eph. Each day I regret that I wasn’t on that battlefield with my sisters but perhaps, I was lucky. I don’t have those images of Xena; I can still see her as the ally she had become to the Nation. I guess all the Amazons, present that day, feel the same fear . . . probably affects Gabrielle most of all. You can sense her struggle . . . right Eph?"

"Mother of Zeus, I’m not blind. She’s been hurting since Poteidaia and your right, I do love her and gods be damned, but I don’t know if I can stand aside to watch her make a decision that can harm her . . . harm us."

Eponin took her friend’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "This is out of our control and for us warriors that is very hard to admit." The stocky Amazon chuckled at her own observation. "It’s our duty to trust the Queen and her judgement. We have to learn to see what she sees."

"And what’s that?"

"Xena struggles with a duality. We’ve seen-" She was cut off by a stunned look from her friend. "What?"

"A duality?" Ephiny couldn’t help but hide the grin that threatened to expose her amazement.

"Yes, duality. It means that-"

"I know what it means but when it comes out of your mouth it seems so . . . strange."

"Are you inferring that I’m stupid? Because if your saying that you think that I lack intelligence I might have to take you out and pumm-"

Ephiny held up her hands to stop her raving friend, "Oh sweet Artemis, I was in no way implying anything of the sort. It’s just that you seem to be so . . . insightful." Hazel eyes brightened as the bantering between the two alleviated the seriousness of the conversation.

"I think it’s called acumen, apperception, perspicacity or in other words the ability to understand their situation." Eponin flashed her chipped tooth smile at the Queen Regent’s gaping mouth. "Don’t look so shocked Eph. Just because I spend most of my day tossing weapons around and engaging in hand to hand combat doesn’t mean I don’t have an intellect."

"Of course, you never cease to amaze Ep."

"Glad to hear it now where was I?"

"Duality."

"Right. Xena is made up of two identities. In the simplest sense they are good and evil but we can also assume that there’s a lot a gray in between. We’ve seen proof of that. How many times has Xena come to our aide, helped us . . . delivered our children?" Ephiny looked away at that remark. "On the other hand she’s also tried to destroy us. That’s hard to reconcile."

"What’s the point Ep." Ephiny stood, once again agitated at the whole situation. "It’s the evil part I’m worried about."

"The point is . . . is that Xena chooses good when it’s easier for her to be evil. She had it all Eph, the power the army. Most of Greece, and I hate to say possibly all of it, could have been hers. Instead of Warrior Princess she could have been Empress." Eponin gave up a small shudder at the thought. "She gave it up. It is not the warlord that she wants to be . . . she wants to be the woman that Gabrielle loves. She returned to her darkness only to save Gabrielle. Xena is a victim to her duality just like us . . . like Gabrielle. It is her weakness and spiteful people and gods will try to take advantage of it. Gabrielle is her touchstone; she needs her Ephiny but right now she doesn’t think she deserves her. Yesterday, when I took her to the healer’s hut, I talked to her and I’ve never seen anyone hate themselves more. I guarantee that Xena would rather die than to hurt Gabrielle again."

Ephiny looked at her handsome friend with a new respect. She leaned up against the council table and folded her arms across her chest. "Holy Helmet of Athena . . . maybe you should leave the warrior biz and go into counseling."

"Nah, I like beating people up and I can only handle that touchy feely stuff for so long."

The Regent smiled brightly. "Right, beating people up that’s your true calling." Once more her hands went through her blonde hair. "Gods how I wish things were different."

"Me too." Both Amazons turned quickly toward the door. Gabrielle, staff in hand, leaned against the door frame. "I guess it’s my turn for the untimely entrance." Eponin looked confused but Ephiny sheepishly looked down. "I’m sorry for intruding on a private conversation but I heard my name mentioned."

Ephiny looked inquisitively at the bard. "How much did you hear?"

"Duality."

"Duality huh?"

Eponin rushed into an apology, "My Queen I’m sorry. I realize I shouldn’t be discussing your personal business."

Gabrielle smiled and Eponin relaxed. "It’s okay . . . this affects all of us. Besides, you’ve done a good job of providing me with some insight. And you’re right; reconciling the two Xena’s we’ve come to know is hard." The Amazon Queen moved inside with regal grace. "I know that with matters this serious we need to convene the council but I wanted to talk to you first," with that statement she reached over and took Ephiny’s hand. "And we do have many things to discuss."

Xena remained standing, looking out of the window, after Gabrielle left. Partially obscured in the dimness of the hut, she watched the sun move higher into sky. The healer came in with a tray of food but Xena didn’t acknowledge the presence. In fact, she ignored everything, even the dull ache of her back and the tiredness of her legs. She simply stood and watched the sun climb and the Amazons move about in daily business. She contemplated many things as she stood there seemingly devoid of action. The only movement that betrayed her serene stance was the clenching of the fists and the tighter embrace of the sheet. She thought about her recent life as the warlord; the villages that had been conquered, the people claimed, and the feeling of awesome power. Her knuckles whitened when her mind raced toward the memories of her abuse of Gabrielle, her betrayal of love and her own carnal lusts. ‘Gabrielle saw everything.’ Her sapphire eyes closed as she spiraled into the abyss of her shame.

Joy. She heard the sound and opened her eyes. A group of young girls moved in a giggling mass toward their daily lessons. On their heels, out to the practice field, a group of warriors marched by. Her keen hearing could pick up talk of strategy and technique. A pat on the shoulder, a playful shove, a friendly smile and Xena yearned for this life but she knew she was different. She was driven beyond this and no place could hold her. No, that was wrong. A place would not hold her but a woman could . . . if she asked. She wondered if Gabrielle would be happy here; could she make her life here; would she fall in love again? ‘Of course she would.’ The shadows of the trees elongated and a bitter wind rustled leaves as the fall season heralded the beginning of shorter days.

The healer cleared her throat, "X-Xena?" She saw the warlord glance sideways from her post at the window wishing she could just ignore the woman like before. The healer moved toward the dark woman warrior standing without emotion near the window. "I-I need to ch-check your w-wound and your ribs. You c-cracked a few of them." The healer ran a hand through her short-cropped brown hair. ‘Hades, this s-speech I-impediment gets worse w-when I’m n-nervous. Hades again! I-I’m even th-thinking with a st-stutter.’

Xena shrugged her shoulders and dropped the sheet which she had been holding tight around her body. The healer gasped silently, not at the nakedness she was faced with, but at Xena’s total lack of modesty. "P-perhaps you should c-come back over to the p-pallet. You’ve been s-standing here for the better p-part of the day . . . and I’d l-like you to eat."

"Just check the wound," Xena said in a neutral voice.

The healer rolled her eyes and silently mouthed the word, "w-warriors" to the Amazon guard that had entered with her, as if it explained everything. She checked Xena’s back wound placing more salve on it to prevent infection. Then she ran her hands over the wrap around the warrior’s ribcage. She pressed firmly against the set she knew was cracked just to elicit some sort of response. There was none. "M-my but you are a r-remarkable w-woman. Your w-wound is healing fast and those c-cracked ribs don’t seem to be giving you any p-problems. I’m amazed."

Xena shrugged. "I have many skills."

"I know." Xena’s eyebrow raised. The healer continued. "My n-name is Lara. You s-saved my s-sister from slavers about a y-year ago. Sh-she and I are very g-grateful toward you and the Queen."

"Don’t be . . . toward me anyway."

"To-too late. That’s w-why I agreed t-to be your healer."

Xena gave the healer an ironic smile while noticing, for the first time, the woman who had cared for her the previous night. She was thin and at full height stood at Xena’s shoulders. She was young for a healer but Xena had encountered younger. Her brown hair was cut close to the scalp and her brown eyes held no malevolence toward the ex-warlord. Suddenly, the stuttering didn’t seem so annoying. "So I guess there wasn’t a rush to work on the infamous Warrior Princess."

"Only b-by me." Lara flashed a smile showing off a set of incredibly crooked teeth.

"Your gratitude makes you foolish . . . or haven’t you’ve heard about my recent exploits?"

"Oh y-yes, I h-have b-but the w-way the Queen d-defended you y-yesterday . . . " Lara shrugged. "I f-figure there’s more t’the

st-story than m-meets the p-prove-proverb..the p-pro . . . oh Hades . . . the eye."

Xena laughed then walked over to the food tray. She was still naked but that didn’t seem to bother her, or the Amazon guard who eyed her appreciatively. An apple was chosen and Xena studied it thoroughly before her white teeth broke the red skin. She glanced back at the healer whose mouth dropped into a shocked, and possibly aroused stance. A bored, eyebrow raised glance at Lara snapped the healers jaw shut. "Where are my clothes?"

"Huh? C-clothes right." Lara moved quickly to her satchel she always carried with her. She pulled out the freshly laundered brown leathers and beige tunic. "I-I took the li-liberty of c-cleaning these up." She placed them upon the pallet.

Xena took another bite of apple and went to check her battle garments. "You sewed them too?"

Lara wiggled her fingers. "I-I need all the p-practice I c-can get."

"Thanks."

The healer scratched the side of her neck in a nervous manner. "Um...Xe-Xena?"

"Yeah."

"I’m a-also been one of th-the healers t-taking care of So-Solari."

Xena gripped the healer in a flash of movement that was quicker than Lara’s own fear. "She’s alive?"

"Yes" Lara looked over at the guard but shook her head to stop her from any action. She felt a wet sensation moving down her arm. What she saw made her own muscles spasm. Xena’s right hand rested upon Lara’s shoulder while her left hand held onto the healer. Xena still had a hold of the apple she was eating. The bronze fingers digging into the hard pulp sending the juice dripping onto a thin shoulder. The power of the grip was apparent and Lara suddenly realized the danger she could have been in. Xena, like a force of nature, was to be respected.

Xena noticed the spasm of fear, or so she thought, under her grip. She let the healer go. "I’m sorry. I just didn’t expect that Solari would be..."

"Alive?"

"Yes," Xena curtly replied. ‘Dimitrius beat her until he was sure she would be paying for a ride on Charon’s boat.’ She threw the apple against a wooden wall. The healer cringed but did not leave. This irritated Xena. "What!"

"Sh-she w-wants to see you."

"Huh?" Blue eyes looked incredulously at the stammering healer.

"Sh-she asked m-me to b-bring you to her. Get d-dressed and I’ll t-take you to her hu-hut."

Xena, stunned and wary, gingerly lifted her battledress. Fingering the supple leather between her fingertips she let out a long sigh. Her mind started to work overtime trying to fortify the ramparts of her soul. She would need all her strength to face her friend and the horror she brought to her. Quickly, she dressed. "Let’s go."

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