The Journey Home
by Tonya Muir
(See part one for pertinent disclaimers)
Part 3
"It makes sense, Xena. You're too obvious."
"No!" the warrior growled as she continued her pacing around the small campsite. All three of Gregor's soldiers decided to keep their mouths shut and they just watched the tall dark haired woman storm around them.
"They'll take me into their camp. Maybe I can overhear what's going on," Gabrielle explained with impatient gestures of her hands, finally resting them on her hips.
"Gabrielle, there are no women in that camp. That should be a clue to you," a dark hand ran through dark hair and she turned her icy gaze to Gabrielle, glaring at her. And she realized, with frightening certainty, that regardless of the depth of their relationship, she would never be able to fully control or protect this young woman before her. Which was an interesting concept in itself because Xena was pretty much used to being in control of nearly every facet of her life.
"That just means they'll want me around more," the bard said practically, returning the sapphire glare with a green one of her own. She smiled inwardly at the slight look of surprise the warrior cast her. Didn't think I'd fight you, love?
"No, bard. That just means they'll be more likely to sexually assault you," she cast another dark glance to her companion before resuming her pacing. Everyone could feel the tension rolling off her and see the muscles as they bristled beneath well tanned arms and shoulders.
Oof, Gabrielle thought absently, that Look could kill someone. "I'll be careful," she responded simply.
"Careful?!" Xena roared and she spun from her position several paces away. The look on her face could only be described as feral. "How can you be careful if someone three times your weight is taking advantage of you?"
"Xena. Stop yelling. Stop pacing. Look at me."
The warrior obliged and allowed herself to look at her partner instead of through her. The fair woman was watching her with honest and intent green eyes. And the only thing that entered her mind at that very moment was how beautiful this young woman was and how badly she wanted to wrap her up and protect her from everything. That thought softened her features and the bard responded with a gentle smile.
"I'll wander in, like I'm lost from some group of travelers. I'll ask for their assistance. I'll listen very carefully. You, my friend, will be right here on this ridge watching me. And them. And at one hint of trouble you can send Argo in ... or throw your Chakram ... or do one of your other many skills. We'll find out what all this is about and we can get on with our lives," the tone of her voice really brooked no resistance and she let her hands drop from her hips to hang limply at her side. As a bard she understood well the implications of gestures and tones of voice and knew that her hands on hips stance was a little too commanding for what she wanted.
Xena was silent for a very long time so Gabrielle knew that she had won. Finally, the warrior nodded just once. "Fine. Come here."
The bard approached the other woman who studied her thoughtfully. "Get one of your sleep shirts. This outfit is too ... Amazonish." Gabrielle grinned and did as she was instructed, ducking into the woods to change.
Then Xena finished the look by rubbing dirt onto her clothes and face and tying the shirt snugly around her waist with a segment of rope before ripping it in several different places. "Better."
"Thank you."
The warrior raised a dark eyebrow at her. "Now, you guys go to the ridge and watch. I'm going to walk Gabrielle down to the edge of the encampment."
They walked in silence down a narrow, rocky trail, pushing aside wayward branches for each other until they arrived at the bottom of the hill. "Okay, my bard," Xena whispered, "go in that way, along that small trail. It'll bring you out pretty close to the center fire ring."
Gabrielle nodded, glanced the way Xena had indicated, then turned her attention back to her companion. She threw her arms around her and squeezed, then kissed her cheek. "Love you, Xena."
The warrior smiled and kissed her lips quickly. "Love you, too. Go ahead, now. I'll be watching you."
"I know you will," Gabrielle called lightly over her shoulder before she disappeared through some trees and underbrush.
Xena turned and ran back up the trail to shimmy on her stomach over to the vantage point on the ridge.
XXXXX
It didn't go as smoothly as Gabrielle would have hoped. The first group of men to notice her were a little too busy checking out her legs to actually pay attention to her story. Which maybe wasn't so bad after all because it was a pretty lame story. But it made her uncomfortable to have these lecherous eyes on her.
"Hey little lady. Yeah, we have a place for you to stay. Come with me and you can work for some dinner," the man leaned back and laughed with his companions and Gabrielle could smell the alcohol on his breath. It was almost enough to make her tipsy from the vapors alone.
"No, no. My tent is better it's ... ah ... more secluded," another man laughed.
Gabrielle played dumb. "Just a place to clean up a little and a bowl of stew would be great. I've been on the road for awhile."
"Us, too," the first man again, a large, heavily bearded red head. With blue eyes that were just plain dull when compared to Xena's. So Gabrielle concentrated on that. She backed away when he reached a hand out for her.
"What are you guys doing out here? I didn't know there was a city in the foothills?" Gabrielle decided to go for the straight forward approach, hoping it may get her out of here faster. The only thing she knew for certain was she wouldn't let one of these cretins get her in a tent unless it was kicking and screaming. And then Xena would be there in seconds to pull her out. So she felt pretty secure as she stood there an arm length's away from these men who towered over her.
"Ah, you can trust us. We're a religious army," Red Head assured her. "We fight for a higher cause. We wouldn't hurt you."
"A higher cause? What kind of religion?" Gabrielle pretended to be fascinated which wasn't too far of a stretch.
"The God who will bring peace to all of us," the second man leaned in as if he was departing some great secret.
It was all Gabrielle could do to not roll her eyes. How many times had she heard this line before? These religious armies sure were gullible. "That would be great ... but why does this god need an army?"
"This is his sacred ground. We need to reclaim it for him so he can have his powers back."
Ah, Gabrielle thought to herself. I see. "So why are you standing around?" She winced after asking the question ... that may have been pushing it.
But they either didn't care or were too drunk to notice. "Building up our forces," Red Head offered. "Our high priest has been making sacrifices to the God for weapons and soldiers. We need His grace to continue."
Ah. "Who is this god?"
"Laerces, the god of peace."
That's a new one, she thought skeptically. "And you get peace by going to war?" the bard asked practically, more than ready now to be on her way.
"Small price to pay," the second man explained reasonably.
"Mmm," Gabrielle nodded. Now what?
The question was answered for her when Red Head jumped forward and grabbed her arm, pulling her roughly against his body. "Time for talkin's over, blondie." He pressed rough lips against her tender ones and mauled a breast with a huge hand.
She tried to pull away and, failing the simple approach, raised a knee and slammed him in the crotch. He went down screaming just as the others started closing in on her.
Then the sound of thundering hoofbeats and a flash of gold and Argo burst through the group, riderless but tacked up. She spun on her haunches, ever mindful of the small bard, and shoved down the nearest man with one broad shoulder. She circled Gabrielle quickly, head tossing, feet stomping, snorting. And it wasn't until her third full circle that Gabrielle caught on: she'd continue to circle until the bard got on her back, she couldn't afford to stand still.
So Gabrielle reached up and grabbed mane and cantle, shoved one foot in the stirrup while hopping on the other, and pulled herself into the saddle. She was barely seated when Argo spun again and took off out of the camp at a full gallop. The men were too stunned to follow.
While the bard was considering this new dilemma, how to untangle her hands from the mane to grab the flapping reins and stop Argo's headlong gallop, she heard a comforting voice ahead of them on the road.
"Hold on Gabrielle. Easy, Argo ... hup ... hup," and the mare responded to the warrior's words, slowing to a canter, a trot, then a walk. Finally stopping a length away from the tall woman. Xena took the last several steps and vaulted onto the mare, then secured the bard with one hand, the reins with the other, and kneed Argo back into a canter.
They met up with the soldiers a little way down the road but continued to canter for a short while to put some distance between the five of them and the encampment. Finally, Xena pulled Argo down to a walk and the others followed suit. "Go ahead," she motioned with her chin to the other men, indicating that they should ride in front of the two women.
"Let me see," Xena whispered softly, peeking over Gabrielle's shoulder and pulling the tunic away so she could look at the forming bruises on the bard's breast. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. He didn't have a chance to do anything. Just some bruises and a little scared. That's all."
"What's this?" Xena's searching eyes had found the bruise on the bard's stomach. "I didn't see him hit you."
"No. That's from yesterday."
"Yesterday?" Xena questioned, running back in her mind the events of the day before.
"The saddle horn," Gabrielle said by way of explanation and Xena thought a moment more before she remembered.
"Going up the hill, leaning over the saddle horn."
"Yeah."
"Why didn't you say something?"
Gabrielle shrugged, turned over her shoulder to see Xena's face. "No big deal. Easier on Argo, it's just a bruise."
"I don't like to see you hurt," Xena murmured, pressing her head against the bard's.
"Makes two of us," Gabrielle smiled. "I'm okay. Thank you for sending Argo."
Xena nodded. "Good job riding her, by the way."
"I held on ... not really riding."
"I have some salve to put on when we get back that will help your bruises."
"Sounds good," Gabrielle leaned back into the warrior to get comfortable for the ride. Then she relayed what she'd learned to Xena's waiting ears.
XXXXX
Gabrielle lay on her back in the bed of their guest chambers. She'd already had a bath and been carefully toweled dry by Xena's gentle hands. Now those same gentle hands smoothed salve over the younger woman's bruises.
"Do they hurt?" Xena asked softly.
Gabrielle shook her head, never breaking eye contact with her companion who kept glancing away to look at what her hands were doing then back to soft green eyes.
"I'm sorry he did that to you. Are you still a little frightened?"
"Not here with you," the bard answered and Xena nodded.
"All done," she rose from the bed to close the jar of salve and place it back with her medical supplies. Then she wiped her hands off on a nearby linen before going back to the bed and laying down with Gabrielle. "How about a nap before dinner?"
Gabrielle smiled and pulled her shirt back in place then rolled on her side to snuggle with the warrior. "Twist my arm," she murmured, taking a deep breath to smell the skin below her cheek: full of the scent of soap and herbs ... and Xena.
The bard was asleep in moments, Xena stayed awake as some sort of protective vigil.
XXXXX
Dinner was its usual big affair though Gregor and Xena discreetly left prior to dessert to discuss the events of the previous day and night in private. After Gabrielle helped clear the table and start dishes, she found her way back to the library where she settled into reading more scrolls.
It was there that Xena found her much later, well after the rest of the house's inhabitants had gone to sleep.
"Ready for bed, Gabrielle?" the warrior called softly from the open door and the green eyes looked up at her, immediately twinkling with a smile.
"Yeah. Let me finish this passage. Wait for me?"
"Course," Xena smiled and came into the room to claim a chair. On the table in front of her was one of Gabrielle's scrolls and she picked it up and started reading it. "How is the copying going?" she asked after several long moments.
The bard shrugged. "I'm only doing a couple of what I think are the better ones. I'm almost done."
Xena nodded. "This one?"
Gabrielle looked up again from what she'd been reading. "Thinking about it. Haven't decided yet."
"I think you should. I like this one." It was mostly about Gabrielle in her role of Amazon queen and reflected her courage and commitment. They'd written it together because the bard had had such a difficult time writing about herself, not seeing what others saw in her. So, in the end, it was written in third person.
"Mmmm," was Gabrielle's noncommittal response as she turned back her eyes to her own reading.
"I could help you copy it," Xena offered gently.
Gabrielle looked up again and smiled this time, exposing neat rows of white teeth. "I could finish this a lot faster, and we could get to bed a lot sooner ..." she left the sentence unfinished.
"If I quit bugging you?" Xena supplied, smiling as well.
Gabrielle nodded and returned quickly to the scroll before her, hoping to finish it and get on their way.
After several long beats of silence, Gabrielle gave up and rose to her feet. "Let's go to bed, I'm tired."
Xena hadn't any expectations of this evening, long ago telling herself it didn't matter if the two of them ever consummated their relationship because it was enough, at this point in the warrior's life, to love and be loved. So when they settled into the bed together with sleeping shirts on and arms wrapped around each other, she answered the bard's inquisitive kisses with lazy kisses of her own.
Until Gabrielle moved up along the warrior's body to lay on top of her, rubbing the taller woman's body with her own, the linen fabric of the shirts causing a tantalizing sensation all its own. Then the warrior's senses came to the alert and her kisses deepened along with her smaller companion's.
Gabrielle took a breath, panting, leaning into Xena's ear. "I want to ... tonight."
"I can wait forever, my bard. Don't do this for me," Xena rasped back, remembering the assault on her young friend earlier in the day.
"For us," was the whispered response, barely audible. "I don't know what to do ... I ..."
"Shh," Xena smiled, hugging Gabrielle closely. "Let it be natural. Don't feel like you have to do anything." She resumed kissing, exploring the pale face above her with tender lips and small nips of gentle teeth. Gabrielle returned the kisses, exploring ear lobes and hair lines, letting her hands wander hesitantly over the warm skin beneath her, discovering strong shoulders and muscular arms.
Then Xena pushed the bard up slightly and pulled first her sleeping shirt off and then her own, laying the young woman back on top of her.
Gabrielle felt the jolt through her body as skin touched skin for the first time, she moaned softly and found lips again. Her hands wandering between them now to touch breasts she'd only seen before, finding them warm and pliant, the nipples becoming hard under her fingertips.
"Xena," she moaned quietly, her body moving helplessly against that of her partner's as the warrior returned caresses.
"Spread your legs a little, Gabrielle," Xena responded softly. "One between mine ... like that," then she raised her thigh between the bards legs, rubbing it against her center, feeling the moisture there, and the bard bucked slightly in response.
"Mmmm," was the only sound that escaped Gabrielle's lips though she did stop kissing and exploring with her hands to savor the moment. Then she pressed her thigh upwards in a similar motion to get a response from her partner.
"Ah," Xena said with a sharp intake of breath. "That's right." Then she sat up, turning and pinning the bard beneath her. "Okay?" she searched her partner's eyes and the younger woman nodded though she did have a slightly bewildered look about her. Xena smiled. "Relax, my bard. No pain, I promise. And if you want to stop ..."
"N ... no," Gabrielle stuttered slightly, feeling her stomach turn with butterflies and goose bumps rise on her flesh. But Xena kissed them away and used gentle hands on breasts, stomach, thighs, until the bard forgot to be nervous and simply responded with her own touches. Then hands were clasping around shoulders and backs as each held onto the other and lower bodies rubbed against each other feverishly.
Gabrielle was gasping softly into the open mouth above her, feeling the warmth and wetness both on her thigh and between her own legs. She raised her thigh a little more, lifting hips to apply more pressure to her partner, wanting so much for Xena to find what she had several nights before.
And then Xena reached a hand between them to rub the bard's sensitive clitoris and she responded immediately, letting out slight moans as her hips bucked in response. All of her muscles clenched and she gasped loudly before relaxing and falling back to the bed. Which was enough for Xena, watching those cloudy eyes and feeling the smaller woman's rhythmic convulsions beneath her, to push her over the edge and she orgasmed as well, pressing hips down into the smaller frame, breathing the bard's name into her fair hair. Before also relaxing and laying down on the warm, moist body beneath her. Then her arms snaked around and she held that body as tightly as she felt she could without causing harm. Legs still entwined, hearts hammering through chests into each other.
"Ugh," escaped Gabrielle's throat many long moments later.
"Sorry," Xena whispered, moving off of the bard to lay next to her.
"No," Gabrielle resisted the warmth leaving her body, "just ... ugh. I feel all warm inside."
"C'mere," the warrior pulled the smaller woman on top and then searched with a long arm for a blanket with which to cover them. That having been successfully accomplished, she wrapped her arms around the bard again and felt her snuggle into her warm body. Skin on skin, the moisture of their lovemaking still evident on both of them.
"Nice," Gabrielle murmured into the warm skin of the warrior's neck. "I like this. We should have thought of this sooner."
Xena laughed, "I did."
"Me, too, I guess. I was just a little worried."
Her body-pillow nodded in response, one arm loosening its hold to stroke down the smaller woman's hair and back. "Do you feel okay?"
"Okay?" Gabrielle raised herself up on one gently placed arm to meet the ice blue eyes above her, noticing a touch of worry in them. "I feel great, Xena," she assured her partner. "Wonderful, warm, happy. You are the greatest person who ever lived."
Xena snorted a self deprecating laugh, "good in bed, you mean."
"That's not what I meant," Gabrielle corrected quickly, not letting her friend get away with lightening the mood or poking fun at herself. She met those blue eyes with an intent stare of her own. "I mean you are warm, caring, loving, gentle. And courageous and loyal. And I love you for everything you are ... your past and your future. You are the greatest person who ever lived," she said the last in a firm whisper.
Xena was silent for several moments. "You don't know my past like you think you do, my bard. It would change your opinion of me."
"Never. Because I love your present and you never would have gotten here without your past."
"Maybe not," Xena allowed softly. "I'm grateful every day that you decided to follow me after Poteideia," the warrior whispered, showing more emotion in her moist eyes than Gabrielle had ever seen there before.
"I'm grateful that you didn't yell at me and send me home."
The dark tan face creased into a smile, "how could I have? Even then you were the most persistent, infuriating, charming person I had ever met. And I had to figure out why someone as young and full of life such as yourself would follow around a deadbeat like me."
"Have you figured it out yet, deadbeat?" Gabrielle smiled as well.
"No ... not yet. But I'm grateful anyway. I've never ..." she paused, the words coming with difficulty, "never felt in my heart what I feel for you. It's overwhelming and powerful ... and a little frightening."
A nod of agreement.
They watched each other for several moments, their love and commitment passing between pale eyes until Xena reached up and wiped away the moisture she felt before it had a chance to roll down her cheek. "Sleep, Gabrielle," she whispered in a slightly choking voice.
"You, too, my love," Gabrielle answered back as she settled into her previous position with face pressed snugly against her partner's neck, allowing her own tears to wipe off on the warm skin there.
But neither would find sleep for awhile, wanting instead to relish in the contact of bodies and souls in the dark night.
XXXXX
When Gabrielle awoke the following morning, it was to streaming sunlight falling across the stone floor and dancing in the dust mites it found along the way. She watched the silver specks thoughtfully until she felt fully awakened and realized she was alone in the room. She couldn't figure out how Xena managed to untangle herself, dress, and leave the room without the bard's knowledge but she did it time and time again. So she figured she'd just have to chalk it up to one of the warrior's many skills. Though she would prefer it if Xena woke her up to say goodbye rather than leaving her alone.
She was cleaned up and dressed before Xena came into the room, holding a tray of food. Gabrielle glanced at her sheepishly, the words of devotion from the night before seemingly dimmed by the daylight. But Xena smiled and set the tray down on the table then cupped Gabrielle's cheek gently.
"'Morning, my bard," she whispered with a twinkle in those icy eyes and Gabrielle couldn't help but smile in response.
"Good morning," was her quiet reply and she felt a blush creep up her neck as she tried to avoid the eyes before her.
"C'mere," Xena pulled her into a hug, tucking the bard's head snugly beneath her chin. "Never be embarrassed around me, Gabrielle," she said softly, leaning into the ear that was close to her lips. "Nothing to be embarrassed about."
The younger woman nodded, but kept a tight hold on the warrior.
"Bread and fruit. That okay?" Xena disentangled herself and led Gabrielle over to the table where she pulled out a chair for her.
"Great," and it was great as she realized just this minute how very hungry she was. "Tell me about Gregor and this whole god of peace thing," she requested around a mouth full of bread.
Xena pulled out the chair next to her, picking at the fruit with one hand while drawing lazy patterns on the bard's thigh with the other. "Well, we're going back, I'm afraid. We need to find this high priest person and convince him he's wasting his time."
"Mmmm," the bard agreed, or at least Xena thought it was agreement as it was hard to tell when the other woman's mouth was full.
"And then we have to make sure the army disperses once the big guy is out of the picture."
"How are you going to find the priest?"
"Gregor wants to send in one of his own soldiers to be undercover and find out who the guy is. Then we'll kidnap him I suppose, bring him here, try to talk sense into him."
"And if that doesn't work?" Gabrielle popped a grape into her mouth.
Xena eyed her friend for a moment before responding. "Well, the plan is kinda rough at that point. I figure Gregor or I will have to stage something for his men."
The bard stopped chewing. "Stage something?"
"Mmm," Xena nodded.
"Like what?"
"Like his death," she admitted reluctantly, watching the woman beside her even as her hand continued gentle caresses on the tense thigh. Knowing there was no staging about it, she would kill the priest and take over his army. Simple enough.
Gabrielle tilted her head thoughtfully for a minute and Xena felt her body relax under the warrior's fingertips. "Let's hope the first plan works."
"Yeah," Xena nodded, truly hoping for a peaceful solution.
"When do we leave?" Gabrielle wiped her hands on the linen Xena had brought with her from the kitchen, swiping it over her lips in a quick motion before standing up.
"Gregor left with his soldier this morning," Xena also stood. "We'll follow with a few more as soon as you're ready."
Gabrielle looked up to her companion, the look she received so familiar but now she understood the love and devotion she'd always seen there. "I'm ready," she shrugged.
"When this is over, we'll go somewhere by ourselves, Gabrielle," the other woman promised, reaching out a hand to smooth back red gold hair. "No armies, no religious zealots. Just you and me."
"And Argo," the bard supplied helpfully.
Xena smiled. "I won't let anyone hurt you out there. I promise."
"I know you won't," Gabrielle assured her, confidence in her gaze as well as her stance. "Let's go get this over with."
Xena followed the younger woman out of the chamber and down large stone steps.
XXXXX
The first clue as to what kind of day this would turn out to be should have been the fact that Gregor, before he'd gone, had left strict instructions with the stable boy to provide Gabrielle a mount.
So a large bay gelding with a diamond shaped star, a snip that traveled over top and bottom lips, and two rear socks stood before the young bard. He was decked out in a nice saddle with an ornate blanket and braided leather bridle. He looked nice enough ... if you went for that sort of thing, which Gabrielle didn't.
He stood with his neck parallel to the ground and large ears swiveling casually around the courtyard. One rear hoof was resting on its toe as his hock was bent in relaxation and his long black tail swished from time to time.
"Is he a beginner's horse?" Xena asked the stable boy as she finished with Argo's cinch and checked behind the mare's forelegs for pinched skin.
"Yeah," the boy nodded eagerly. "Very calm, very responsive. Anyone can ride him."
"S'name?" Gabrielle choked out across dry throat and lips, eyeing the big gelding nervously from several yards away.
"Traveler," the boy offered, walking up to the gelding and giving him a loud clap on the shoulder. The bay didn't flinch.
"Up you go, Gabrielle," Xena took her smaller companion's arm and practically dragged her to the horse.
"I'd rather ride with you," the bard whispered, digging her heels into the cobblestone beneath her feet as best she could.
"Gregor was right. Better this way. We can make better time and it won't wear out Argo."
"Fine," Gabrielle agreed reluctantly. But when she glanced towards Xena she knew her fear was plain in her eyes because the warrior looked startled.
"Hey," her voice softened, not realizing until this moment that Gabrielle was afraid to ride, reluctant yes, but what she saw in those green eyes told her that her young friend was petrified. "It's okay. Look at him," she slapped his haunches. "Just a big ole dumb guy. Argo and I will be right next to you. If you can ride Argo, you can ride him."
"But Argo's different ... cuz she loves you and you love me ... so she figures I can't be all bad," this was all said in a whisper meant only for Xena's ears.
"Don't tell Argo, but she's just a horse," Xena whispered back conspiratorially. "I'm not sure she has any kind of thoughts about our relationship." She poked Gabrielle in her exposed ribs affectionately. A slight smile flitted across her lips. "C'mon," Xena gave the bard a leg up and settled her into the saddle, handing her the reins, before moving over to Argo and mounting as well.
This time there were five young warriors to accompany them on their trip and once Gabrielle got used to the rough trot and canter of this behemoth beneath her, they made decent time to the foothills and started the climb up.
Two of the men from their previous escapade were in front, then Xena and Gabrielle, then three more men behind them. Xena chatted back to Gabrielle while they made the climb, trying to soothe the younger woman's rattled nerves. Gabrielle, for her part, leaned forward and held onto the saddle horn for dear life, her eyes closed so she couldn't see the jagged rocks that littered the path they climbed.
Without warning, a bird burst from the underbrush between Argo and Traveler, having ignored the first horses to pass, and flew almost into the large bay gelding before circling higher over their heads. And Gabrielle had a pretty good view of this part of the bird's flight as, by this point, she was on her back.
Traveler had reared and snorted at the offensive bird, losing his footing on his hind legs and overestimating the angle at which he stood, he managed to flip over backwards, head pointing down the hill, tail up, and all four feet in the air. Gabrielle was pinned beneath him and the two slid for several long treacherous moments, Traveler thrashing and Gabrielle screaming, before they mercifully came to a stop. One of the following horses had leapt over the two, the other two horses had sidestepped off the narrow trail and now danced in prickly bushes.
Xena flipped off Argo without even asking the horse to stop, twisting in midair to land on her feet, facing downhill, and skidded to the struggling animal and screaming woman.
"Easy, easy," she soothed both of them, trying to determine if the horse was injured, not being able to see the bard beneath the large animal's body. He thrashed and rolled, trying to gain his feet, until one of the warriors by his front end sat on the horse's head, right at his jowls, and Xena was grateful that there was another horse person amongst them. She'd not wanted to jump over the horse to do that, preferring to be sorting out tangled limbs over here. "Thank you." The man nodded solemnly at her.
Gabrielle's screams had died to whimpers and painful intakes of breath.
"Okay," Xena whispered, moving up the horse's back where Gabrielle's arm was sticking out, her legs were at the horse's shoulders and her head was pinned beneath the haunches. "Okay," Xena said again, lacking anything else appropriate at this very moment. Bending over she could see Gabrielle peering at her, the ground at one ear, the horse at the other.
"Xena?" barely audible.
"Here's the plan, love," she reached out long gentle fingers and stroked the woman's cheek, holding her arm with the other hand. "I need to make sure Traveler can stand. Then we're going to get him up and check you out. Can you feel my hand on your arm?"
"Yeah."
"Can you feel Risto's hand on your leg?" she nodded to the man sitting on the horse's head and he reached forward to grab the bard's boot.
"Yeah."
"Good," everyone breathed a huge sigh of relief. "Good. Let me check out Traveler, okay?"
"I'm scared," Gabrielle whimpered softly, gripping at air with her exposed hand. Her dusty face was tracked with tears.
"I know, love," Xena leaned closer, taking the flexing hand in her own and squeezing it gently. "The worst is over. The fall was the worst part. Okay?"
"Yeah," so soft.
"I'm scared, too," Xena confided. "Take shallow breaths, try not to move around or make a lot of sound. Okay?"
"Okay."
Xena reluctantly released the small shaking hand and started feeling along the horse's back, reaching as far under the saddle as she could in both front and back. Then along the gelding's neck up to where Risto sat before walking around and feeling each leg in turn. Everything seemed all right. Traveler was covered with small scratches and scrapes and would likely have some swollen spots, but all his bones seemed intact.
She moved back to Gabrielle. "Here we go, my bard. We're going to get him on his feet. Risto," she looked directly at the short disheveled man, "when I tell you, get up and start pulling at his headstall. And you, Garrick," directed to a man standing near the horse's haunches, "give him a few good slaps, yell at him, whatever." She looked around at the other three men who stood clustered off the trail, holding the other horses. "Yeah ... you guys stand there and look useless," she muttered under her breath.
Then Xena bent back down to talk to Gabrielle. "When they start him moving, I'm going to crawl under there with you, okay? And protect your head. Because Traveler probably won't go up the first time. Ready?"
"Ready."
The warrior looked to the others, then to Risto. "Go."
The man jumped to his feet and spun around, yanking on Traveler's bridle before the horse really knew what had happened. Garrick started smacking the big gelding's haunches and yelling at him. And as soon as he came up slightly, Xena thrust herself between bard and horse, curling herself around the smaller woman's head.
As predicted, Traveler leaned back down on them, rocking back and then forward to get his feet under him, then lurched up, giving Xena a nice solid kick in the back for her troubles.
But it wasn't Gabrielle's head, thought the warrior solemnly. That's all that matters.
So here they all were, in the aftermath of a tragedy. Men and horses milled about aimlessly, giving Xena and Gabrielle a moment, Risto checking Traveler out very carefully.
Xena's hands were shaking so hard, she couldn't still them. So instead she wrapped them up in Gabrielle's hair, leaning over to place gentle kisses on the other woman's temple. "You're okay," she whispered, reassuring herself more than the young woman before her. Then she straightened, with a wince, to survey the damage.
"Did he get you?" Gabrielle asked, turning her head and noticing the slight change in Xena's face, knowing that few would have.
"Yeah, in my lower back. That'll smart. Let me look at you." She ran her hands expertly down limbs and torso. "Sometimes, Gabrielle, I can't figure out how you get into so much trouble. Can't keep you safe no matter how hard I try. Simple hill, simple horse," the warrior's words were more of a mumbling to herself, to keep her mind occupied as well as her hands.
And Gabrielle would have had hurt feelings over these accusations if she couldn't feel the trembling hands and hear the waver in that husky voice. Too close. Xena wasn't going to hold it together well.
"Send them to the camp," the bard suggested and blue eyes turned up to meet green ones, too much emotion and pain in both to argue anything.
"Go on up to where we camped before," the warrior called. "Tend to Traveler, untack him, clean those wounds. And make a travois for Argo to pull back down here."
They all looked at her.
"Go," she commanded and, as always, they listened, leading the horses up the narrow path and disappearing over the ridge.
"Amazingly, I don't think anything's broken," Xena said as she continued her initial assessment. "Maybe a few cracked ribs, a concussion. Are you having trouble breathing?"
"Hurts a little. But not difficult to breathe."
Xena nodded. "How about your stomach, when I press-"
"Ah!" Gabrielle jumped under her fingertips.
"Yeah, huh? I think you may have some internal bleeding."
"Is that bad?"
"Could be. Might just be bruises, though. We'll have to pay attention tonight to see how you feel." The warrior rocked back on her heels, surveying the bard with watery blue eyes and resting open hands on her own thighs. "You think you were sore yesterday after the ride and that ape of a man ..." but even though the words were meant for levity, there was no humor in them or in the voice behind them.
"I'm okay, Xena," Gabrielle said softly, reaching a hand to place on top of one of Xena's. "Sore ... but I feel all right. Honest. I was just scared."
Xena took a deep breath, felt the tears loosen and fall. She wiped at them angrily. "What's with me lately?" she growled. "I'm a regular spring."
Gabrielle smiled, squeezed the hand still under hers. "It just built up for so long. That's all."
Then Xena turned serious and studied Gabrielle's face for a very long time. "I can't lose you, my bard. I won't live without you." Truer words were never said. With an aching heart she remembered Thessaly, holding the bard while she died, screaming at her until she came back to life. How many times could she get away with that? Not enough, she feared.
"No, Xena, you'd be fine," Gabrielle said softly. "You could go on without me."
"No," Xena shook her head, refusing to believe what the other woman was saying. "I ... I would be empty inside. Like I was before and I wouldn't ... I can't be that person again."
"You've lost others," a simple statement.
Xena barked her short laugh. "But none of them were you. You're the other half of my soul. I can feel it, in here," she tapped her chest with one finger. "You're the light to my dark and you make me complete. It's more than love or devotion. So much more. I've never felt it before."
"I feel it, too," Gabrielle whispered. "I wouldn't want to be left behind, either."
They nodded to each other, understanding passing between eyes, a promise to not let that happen.
Then they heard Argo coming back down the stony path.
"I think I could walk," Gabrielle offered but Xena shook her head.
"You're going to be, at the very least, one big bruise from head to toe. And then there are the ribs, the concussion, and the possible internal bleeding. You're not walking anywhere, bard."
"Fine," the word was said harshly but softened with a smile. They managed to get Argo turned around on the narrow trail and the travois backed up as close to the bard as possible. Then Xena and Risto picked her up and placed her on the pine branches. Gabrielle bit her lip to stifle a cry of pain at the movement.
Back at the camp, Xena made their beds, heated water mixed with herbs for pain and sleepiness, and gave it to the bard. Once Gabrielle was asleep, Xena rolled her over gently and set to work on the lacerations on her back. There were quite a few since the bard had slid down the rocky path with the extra weight of Traveler on her. Diligently, she cleaned each one, stitching the larger cuts with precise hands, examining them all for any sign of further danger.
Rolling Gabrielle back over, she applied the salve to ribs, stomach, legs, arms, wherever she could see the beginnings of ugly bruises, and wrapped the ribs in poultice soaked strips of cloth.
Then she sat with the younger woman's head in her lap, stroking fine red gold hair, until well into the afternoon when Gregor joined them. He'd been observing the large war camp from another vantage point.
"Xena," the tall man said, bending beside her, touching fingertips to the bard's forehead. "Risto told me, I'm sorry."
The dark warrior shrugged, still running long nimble fingers through Gabrielle's light hair. "Not your fault. How's Traveler?"
"He'll be okay. Probably won't walk on rocks again, though. Risto said he didn't see what caused it."
"Either did I. Risto and I were in front of her. One of the others may have seen. Garrick, maybe."
The large man nodded, gripping Xena's forearm. "I hate to mention ... can we talk about the encampment?"
"Yeah. How did it go? Is your man in there?" Xena looked up, trying her best to put on a business face.
Gregor settled down next to the women and crossed his legs, getting comfortable. "I watched him go in and watched all afternoon. They seem to have accepted him, he's not had any trouble. He's supposed to meet with me at dusk with any information."
"What's his name?" Xena asked absently, not really caring but feeling she had to participate in the conversation.
"Jykar. He's a good man, one of my best."
"So we wait until you get back from your meeting?"
"Yeah," Gregor stood, squeezed Xena's shoulder more gently than it seemed those large hands could, then walked back over to the other men.
It was nearly time for Gregor to leave for his meeting before Gabrielle stirred for the first time. A small moan escaped her lips.
Xena bent over her companion, dark hair cascading to frame the younger woman's head. "Hey, Gabrielle," she whispered. "Take it easy. You're safe."
"I think I'm going to be sick," the bard muttered in response. Xena lifted her up and rolled her gently to the side, sliding a nearby pan closer. She held back Gabrielle's hair as the bard emptied the meager contents of her stomach. Then she wiped the younger woman's face with a linen cloth as she rolled her back and pushed the offending pan away.
"Ow ... can't, on my back ..."
"Oh, sorry," Xena responded. Stupid of me to have not thought about that, she chastised herself. She resituated the bard to rest on one side, too scratched up to be on her back and too bruised to be on her front.
"Thank you," Gabrielle still rested her ear on the other woman's thigh, bringing up a hand to cup under the bone and muscle with gentle familiarity. They lay that way, wrapped in silence, continuing gentle touches for quite some time. Xena watched Gabrielle blink into the fading light, pale green eyes nearly vacant.
"Can I get you anything?" a gentle voice passed into Gabrielle's hearing, forcing her to blink a few more times and tilt her head up to the blue eyes above her.
"Hurts to do anything but lie really still," the bard grinned ruefully. "So I think I'll just lie really still."
"More pain killers?"
"No ... not yet. I like not having a fuzzy mind."
"I can move you closer to the fire, if you want?"
A worried expression passed over those familiar features. "Don't wanna move."
"S'okay," was the warrior's simple response as she watched the bard intently, firelight and fading sunlight dancing across pale skin and light hair fanned across a bronzed thigh.
Gabrielle smiled under the scrutiny, "you're staring."
Xena smiled back, "can't help it."
"You're getting all mushy on me, warrior," Gabrielle teased in a gentle voice and her companion nodded her agreement.
"Can't say I'm really proud of this mushy side of me," Xena confided.
"I like it," the bard grinned back. "I'll keep it a secret. I'm the only one who sees it anyway."
"See that you do, bard," Xena gave her friend one of her most menacing glares which was brushed off easily.
Then the warrior's gaze softened as she leaned in to place a kiss on gentle lips. "Let me go heat you some broth or something." She slid out from under Gabrielle's head.
"I don't think I could keep anything down."
"I want you to try," she balled up a blanket and placed it under Gabrielle's ear to replace her own leg. "You can't get better without eating. And those herbs for pain won't sit well on an empty stomach."
Gabrielle remained silent, watching the licking flames of the fire and Xena's tall figure as she moved about the small camp, first heating a pail of water on a large flat stone in the fire, then going to speak with the other men.
She must have dozed off because next she knew, Xena was pulling her to a sitting position despite great protests from the sleepy bard.
"Quiet down, my goodness," Xena scolded without real rancor. "They'll think I'm killing you."
Gabrielle blinked fuzzily from her new upright position and looked around the camp to find that there were indeed eyes staring at her from across the small fire. She gave them a half hearted wave.
"Sorry," she murmured. "Next time wake me up before you move me."
"I'll remember that," Xena agreed easily but didn't seem in the least repentant, positioning herself next to the bard so their legs were touching and offering her a mug of warm broth. "Drink some of this, take it slow."
Obligingly, Gabrielle did just that, taking small sips as she gazed silently at her surroundings and occasionally flexing sore muscles and applying gentle pressure with one hand to sore bruises.
"How's the back?" Xena asked after watching the bard for several long moments.
Her companion shrugged. "Pretty sore. Quite a few cuts?"
"Yeah," Xena leaned back to examine the scrapes and bruises. "Six of 'em have stitches. The rest weren't big enough."
"And I slept through that?" the bard questioned, surprised.
"Magic potion," her partner flashed teeth at her in a grin and Gabrielle noticed that most of the worry and pain had edged out of those sapphire eyes.
"Is that why I feel like my head is packed full of wool?"
Xena laughed lightly at the accurate comparison. "Prob'ly."
"What's up with Gregor?"
"Jykar's in the encampment. They seemed to accept him pretty well. Now we're just waiting for Gregor to get back from a meeting with him."
Gabrielle nodded but offered no comment, still trying to untangle her thoughts.
They sat in companionable silence as Gabrielle finished her broth and laid back down, head again on Xena's leg.
"Gonna stay down?" the warrior asked casually, caressing the fine tresses and fanning them across her leg.
"Mmmm," the bard considered her rolling stomach. "Don't think so."
"Lay still, love. Maybe it will." Gentle fingers on scalp and face eased Gabrielle back into a comfortable sleep as she curled her hands around the warrior's thigh.
The bard woke up to painful retching not long later, supporting herself on elbows while lying on her stomach as the heaves shook her body. "Ugh," was all she said when she was finished and felt Xena's gentle hands combing back hair and wiping mouth.
"Easy, easy," the warrior whispered as the heaves calmed. "Lay back down. There you go."
"Why am I so sick?" she whimpered softly.
"Not sure. I think it's because your body is so sore it doesn't know how to react. Like you're in so much pain, the pain is making you nauseous. It's not internal damage, I don't think."
"That's good," the bard wrinkled her nose at that thought.
"Very good. I'm going to mix some stuff for you to sleep and help with the pain."
"No," a soft voice. "I don't want to throw up anymore. It hurts."
"I know, love. I know. But you need to try. Maybe the stuff'll sink in enough to let you get some sleep," Xena leaned over to murmur in her companion's ear, kissing her temple, stroking her cheek with fingertips.
The bard nodded solemnly and was silent when Xena left her to go prepare more herbs and water. Then she drank them down without a word, even as her eyes filled with tears at the expected pain.
Xena settled behind her, very careful not to press against her back, to slip her arm under Gabrielle's head and rest her chin on the young woman's shoulder. Then she reached a hand around and rubbed the bard's stomach very gently, trying to calm her. She knew there was no chance of the medicine staying down if Gabrielle was already nervous about it.
"It's all right, my bard. Relax," her tone was soothing and, with her lips right by the young woman's ear, she began to softly hum a tune.
Despite the nausea in her stomach and the tenseness of her muscles, Gabrielle was lulled to sleep by the medicine, the gentle hum, and the mere nearness of her partner.
Gregor found them this way when he returned from his meeting and he quietly waited for Xena to disentangle herself from the bard. Then he followed her a short distance away to the other warriors where they spoke about Jykar's report.
"Jykar hasn't met the priest yet, apparently he's out on a recruiting mission. Due back the day after tomorrow," Gregor began. "Then there will be a ceremony and sacrifices to initiate the new members, like Jykar."
"How many are in the army?" Risto asked from his position next to Gregor.
"About hundred, I guess. There are about seventy in the camp down there, then the leader has an entourage with him of about thirty."
"Leader got a name?" this question from Garrick.
"Antias ... or something like that."
Xena looked up from the piece of wood she'd been picking at with restless hands. "Antias? Are you sure?"
"That's what Jykar said ... I'm pretty sure," Gregor responded. "Know him?"
"Yeah," the warrior nodded, looking slowly around at the group with her, then turning her attention to the sleeping bard on the other side of the clearing. Would her warlord past ever stop haunting the both of them? She ran a tired hand through her long dark hair.
"Is that good or bad?" Risto asked.
But the warrior's answer wasn't directed to him. Instead she turned to Gregor, a man who had known her at her worst and now knew the person she'd become. "He's bad ... ruthless. Or was, anyway."
"If he's all that, why does he have an army of riff raff following him around? And why is he pretending to honor some god?" this question from Garrick.
Xena smirked, tilted her head slightly. "Well, Antias isn't the kind of warlord that attracts loyal warriors. He pays them with drink and food, a few dinars to keep 'em happy, lies to 'em if he has to. The kind of guys who are barely getting by anyway. He uses the rest of the money to buy good weapons and dress them well. He figures he can't buy good soldiers so he'll put good swords in the hands of poor soldiers."
Gregor let out a short bark of a laugh.
And Xena's smirk turned into a full fledged smile. "I didn't say he was a smart man."
"Let's get some dinner and then sleep on this. We can make a plan tomorrow, not much else we can do anyway," Gregor suggested, rising to his feet and pulling a bow and some arrows out of his saddle bags. Xena decided to join him after checking on the bard who was sleeping soundly.
XXXXX
When Xena went back to their sleep rolls some time later, Gabrielle blinked up at her through the darkness.
"Hey, didn't realize you were awake," Xena smiled gently as she sat next to Gabrielle with a plate of meat. Gabrielle struggled to sit up and then lean against the warrior's shoulder.
"Watching you cook."
"Ooooh, exciting. How do you feel?"
"Better, not as fuzzy," she replied quietly.
"Good. Hungry?" she held up a piece of rabbit to Gabrielle who wrinkled her nose. "More for me," Xena flashed teeth at her companion and then neatly bit into the piece she'd offered.
"More power to ya," the bard said, shaking her head. "Tell me about Gregor's meeting."
Xena did, explaining what they'd all discussed a short time earlier, ending with their decision to sleep on it tonight and work out a plan tomorrow.
Gabrielle was quiet for quite awhile as she let her eyes travel across the small clearing, finally resting on her partner and enjoying the mahogany highlights in her dark hair brought out by the flickering fire. Then Xena's eyes turned to meet Gabrielle's and something in them prompted Gabrielle to ask a question. "This Antias, you know him?"
"Yeah. How did you know?" Both dark eyebrows raised in a look of vague surprise.
Gabrielle smiled, poked her friend in the ribs. "Cuz I know you."
Xena nodded, looked around now, not willing to meet the younger woman's eyes. "I know him. I ... he used to have an army that rivaled mine a bit ... a little competition. Nothing too bad ... mostly just friendly." She fell into silence and Gabrielle fought every urge she had to ask the other woman to continue. Finally, she did without prompting. "Then things got kinda heated. We went our separate ways for awhile and when we were in the same area again, a lot of his warriors were deserting to my army because he treated them poorly. Led them into losing situations, left them hungry and injured, not enough coin to go around."
More silence as she took in her surroundings and she felt the bard place a warm, soft hand against her leg. Damn, this was hard. "I don't like who I was, Gabrielle," the warrior said quietly, even though she knew the words weren't necessary.
"What happened?" Gabrielle asked, afraid that Xena was done speaking.
With a deep breath, long fingers pulled back dark hair and fisted it behind her neck before releasing it, exhaling the breath loudly. "He'd lost his mind, I think. He was threatening the rest, injuring his own people. Had killed a few. And my men came to me and asked me to interfere ... and, no matter how bad I was, I took pride in the kind of leader I was. I treated my men as fairly as I could." It was everybody else who was in danger, she thought to herself. "So I agreed and I went to his camp. He ... always had a ... a thing for me. Always hit on me, tried to ... anyway ... I knew that. So I played it up. I seduced him ... led him into his tent and ... we," another big breath. "You know. All night while my army freed the rest of his. I used him and used my body to get what I wanted and when he found out, in the morning, what I'd done ... he was furious. And I ... I knocked him around a bit ... and had sex with him again, while he fought against me ... because I could."
Absolute silence surrounded them. She could almost hear the bard searching for something to say that would diminish the atrocity, coming up empty. Her body was tense where it rested against the warrior's side and Xena had never, in her life, felt as much shame as she did at that moment. If only she'd met Gabrielle years ago. But, she was glad she hadn't. Because no matter how sweet and innocent the bard was, there was a time in her life when she wouldn't have cared, when she might have pleasured herself with the young woman before having her banished or killed.
"You're not that person anymore," were the quiet words that finally left the bard's mouth.
Xena couldn't meet her eyes. "Not so far from. It wasn't that long ago. Maybe five years?" She squinted pale eyes into the fire, hoping it would swallow her up so she wouldn't have to withstand the scrutiny of her best friend. If only it would consume her whole and leave the world a better place with her absence.
And as Gabrielle's mind whirled with the horror of it, her lover, friend, partner, had raped at least one person in her past, she fought to resolve that image with the one here before her. The warrior's head bent and she covered her face with large callused hands. The bard reconciled with this conflict by concentrating on how they'd made love just the night before, remembered those gentle fingers and smoky pale eyes, knowing these hands, the ones she knew, could never commit that crime. So she reached up and took one of Xena's hands away from her face, clasped it tightly between both of hers.
"I love you," she whispered. "I don't care about your past."
"You should. It'll always be with us."
"And without your past, you wouldn't be who you are now," the bard said softly. "Didn't we already discuss that?"
"Yeah," reluctant agreement.
"You, my friend, need to get over this nobody wants to be with an ex-warlord garbage. I know who you are and I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."
Xena laughed, to lighten the mood. "You can't go anywhere, bard. You're one big bag of bruises with cuts to boot."
And Gabrielle allowed the change in subject, knowing they'd just negotiated a very treacherous trail in their relationship and the warrior needed to back away from it. "I could if I wanted to, warrior. You're not the only tough one around here."
Finally the blue eyes turned to meet hers and they were filled with a vast kaleidoscope of emotions, all the way from love to fear to shame. "I know that, love." She looked to her plate. "My food is cold."
"Don't complain, it's not raw."
The warrior nodded and finished her meal in silence, willing all of her love to be felt through the gentle fingers the bard still rested on her thigh. Feel it, my friend, because it's only for you. Know it to be true.