The characters Xena, Gabrielle and the amazons don't belong to me. I just take them out to play with. If you are disturbed by non-traditional relationships, explicit sex, haven't recognized subtext or are not old enough to read about it, read something else. Otherwise enjoy!
AMAZON COME AGAIN
By MaryE
maryeic@aol.comThe temple was a ruin, ancient and foreboding in the fading light. It was from an age before Olympus, before even the Titans, built to honor a deity whose identity was long lost to the mists of time. There were three chambers off of a main hall. Piles of stones from decaying walls lay scattered on what had once been a beautiful mosaic floor. Dust inches deep concealed most of the design that appeared in places to depict worshippers attending someone or something. Xena gave each room a cursory inspection before deciding to use the smallest room for the night. It was the only space with intact walls and most of a ceiling. Critters, if any nested there, were not visible, though Gabrielle was not at all comfortable that a fire would keep rodents at bay.
"This will do." Xena tossed a bed roll on the floor, and began stacking wood from rotted furniture in the center of the room for a fire. Gabrielle tipped toed gingerly around the room, twice.
"Yuck! ‘Will do' is a long way from satisfactory not to mention hygienic." She said, folding her arms in displeasure. "And you are coming down with something, Xena. We should be in a clean, comfortable inn."
"There aren't any within 25 miles." Xena pointed out, then she coughed. She was bone tired, her sinuses were enflamed and there was an unpleasant tickle in her throat.
"There was a perfectly good clinic where we were this morning. You ran out of there like it was Tartarus." Gabrielle chided. "What was that about anyway?" She settled their bed rolls as near to the fire as possible. "I've never seen you spooked like that before. We didn‘t even get the potions you wanted, we just…fled."
Xena banked the fire so that it would burn untended for the night and rubbed her eyes wearily. "You remember that woman who kept sneezing and laughing that rather obscene laugh? I'm talking about the chubby one with the scrawny servant girl."
Gabrielle thought for a moment. "It's hard to forget her. She was quite a scene. It was embarrassing the way she carried on about her cold. Every time she sneezed she acted like she was having sex. I can understand wanting to get away from her, Xena, but we didn't have to set out for nowhere late in the afternoon. Surely, you're not afraid of catching a cold, mighty warrior princess."
Hands on hips, Xena pursed her mouth and started to reply when an impending sneeze stopped her. Pinching her nose, she managed to stifle it. Gabrielle handed her a cloth. "Blow your nose, warrior princess, and get under the covers. I'll make you some tea."
"Thank you." Xena sank into her bedroll, admitting that she was not feeling well at all. She was coming down with something and she prayed it wasn't the something she suspected. "I think that woman had a virus I'd heard about in the East years ago. She probably contracted it from her oriental servant girl." She wrapped a blanket around her as tight as possible and outwitted another almost sneeze. A sense of dread spread through her. "I've never heard of a case of it in Greece. It's a very rare, very strange illness with weird side effects. By the way, it's called flu, not a cold…and I don‘t want it."
"I have no idea why you are such a germaphobe, okay, virophobe. After all, you have me to nurse you through it. I‘m pretty good at taking care of you - especially if you are flat on your back." Gabrielle winked, and stirred the simmering tea. "Wish we had some honey for this. Best thing to take for a cold. Now if we were at an inn, I could get some honey for you."
"I prefer it without honey anyway." Xena told her. "In fact, I'd prefer a mug of Port."
"We'd need an inn for that too." Gabrielle rubbed it in as she filled a cup for the ailing warrior. "Tea and a warm bed are all I have to offer right now." She handed the steaming cup to the warrior and brushed the bangs on her forehead gently. "I can add some loving, too. We can't let you get sick, Xena. We have to meet the Amazons in two days. It's an important festival and I promised we'd be there."
"Ah, ah, ah….I know." Xena nearly sneezed. "We will be there. I just need to rest for the night. You know me. I can fight off anything."
"Warlords, yes, but a chakram doesn't work on germs." Gabrielle put the empty cup aside, tucked the blanket around Xena and touching the warriors cheek gave a wistful little sigh.
"Very, fa…fa…fa….funny." Xena barely thwarted another sneeze.
Gabrielle felt for signs of a fever and frowned. She liked her warrior hot, but not this kind of hot, so she put aside making love this night. The warrior needed to sleep. She put a damp cloth on Xena's forehead and forced a smile. "I know you will feel better in the morning." she lied to them both. "But maybe we should pray to whatever god this old temple was dedicated to, just in case. A bit of divine help never hurt."
Xena leaned on an elbow. "Remember Ares? Godly help can hurt quite a bit." She lied back down and silently willed herself not to get any sicker.
Gabrielle lay down on her own bed roll. "True." she had toadmit. But she said a prayer anyway as she drifted off to sleep or tried to. She cuddled against the warrior's side and placed an arm at her waist, lightly stroking the taut, smooth abdomen beneath the tunic. As often as not, such cuddling would be the start of something romantic, but not this night..
Eventually Gabrielle settled into a light sleep with one ear listening in case Xena took a turn for the worse. Twice she was awakened to the sound of sneezing followed oddly by familiar, sensuous moans. Once Xena had even grasped her hand tightly and shuddered. ‘Curious,' she thought. ‘And creepy like this old ruin.' The night passed despite the fitful bits of sleep. Her dreams alternated between scenes of Xena making love to her and visions of Xena ashen and unresponsive.
She arose at dawn to find that morning made their surroundings look that much more decrepit. The forest had reclaimed not only the exterior of the temple but much of the interior as well. Plants sprang from floor and walls alike. Sunlight revealed strange pictographs on the walls. Gabrielle stoked the fire and set water to boil for another round of tea. Then after checking on the sleeping warrior, she sallied about the inside of the temple trying to decipher the odd markings.
She pushed aside thick layers of dust to study the mosaic in the large room. The pale figure, presumably some god, was actually a pale green figure with large, black almond shaped eyes. He was seated on a chair composed of grey cubes and what looked like levers and gears on either side. In his hand was a silver staff which he pointed at his worshippers. A white light extended from the staff over their bowed heads. It seemed to touch each of the primitive, animal skin-clad supplicants. Gabrielle ran her hand along the faded yet still colored tiles, noticing how each one was precisely placed. "Surely this is too beautifully rendered for these simple worshippers to have created." She mused. Following an impulse, she gathered a handful of wild flowers growing around the room and placed them in a stone bowl atop what could once have been an ancient altar. If she'd had a candle, she would have lit it half as an offering and half as a prayer to the strange green being to help Xena over her cold.
"Ah, ah, ah choo." Came a loud sneeze from the other room. Gabrielle hurried to Xena's bed roll side where she found the warrior with a slight smile on her flushed face and eyelids lowered half way down her bright blue eyes..
"Okay, you're definitely sick." she felt the hot, sweaty forehead. "You are staying down for the day. Don't even think of arguing with me."
"Whatever you say, Gabrielle." Xena murmured that curious, satisfied smile lingering on her face. "I would never get out of bed when you ask me to stay." The warrior ran the back of her hand along the side of the bard's face, just as she often did after they had finished making love. And she had a sated look that the bard could not explain.
The blonde cocked her head quizzically. "How do you feel?" She asked, preparing a fresh cup of tea.
"Well, to tell the truth, I feel good. Or I did for a moment. That sneeze actually felt really good." Then a radically different look filled her eyes. "Oh no, no, no, no." She sat straight up and clutched the blanket to her chest.
Gabrielle looked totally confused as she held out the piping cup to Xena. "What? No, no what?"
"I know this is going to sound crazy," Xena said sounding more congested than crazy, "but I…ah, ah, ah choo….Ummmm." She fell back to the bed roll and writhed sensuously, then sighed or coughed, Gabrielle wasn‘t sure which. Yet it was an undeniably familiar sound.
"You should drink this," she said. "It's not much, but it is all we have." She put her free arm behind Xena's shoulders to help her sit up.
"Give me a moment, Gabrielle." Xena said through heavy breathing. "I'll drink it in a moment." There was an unmistakable flush to her cheeks and her lids were low again over those amazing blue eyes which fairly sparkled as she smiled up at her mystified partner.
"Xena, tell me more about this flu. How long does it last?"
Xena sat up straight, this time unblushed and clear eyed and sporting a silly smile. "Well, I was told it only lasts 2 or 3 days, although the lucky ones claimed it can last for a week or so if I remember correctly."
"Lucky ones? You mean those who survive? By the gods, Xena, it's not fatal, is it?"
Xena shook her head. "Na, na. Nothing like that. It just has a unique that side effect some woman find, ah, enjoyable." Her eyes took on a guilty look and she grimaced. "It's like a common head cold - stuffy head, achy muscles those kind of symptoms." She paused and looked sheepishly at the blonde bard. "But when you sneeze… " She looked down at the cup in her hand. "Um, when you sneeze…well, you saw that woman yesterday."
"When you sneeze, it makes you obnoxious?" Gabrielle asked. Xena sighed shook her head. "It makes you laugh? It makes you what? "
The warrior took a deep breath and twisted her mouth into a grimace. There was no way to say it other than to say it. And she was just about to say it - but she sneezed instead and arched her back and grasped the blanket tightly and crossed her legs. Apparently there was another way to explain it.
Gabrielle's mouth dropped open. "Oh sweet Aphrodite." she uttered as understanding claimed her. "You mean you experience an orgasm every time you sneeze, don't you?" Which explains that annoying woman at the clinic. Shocked, the bard quickly moved to irritated. "So you're enjoying yourself while I'm overcome with concern. No, make that genuine worry."
She stomped over to the camp fire and tossed the pan of boiling water on the ground. "I don't think tea cures an orgasm." She snapped. "But then I'm not as familiar as you seem to be with the do-it-yourself kind."
Glad the explanation was over and temporarily recovered, Xena rose from the bed roll, blew her nose and began to dress. The bard would get over it, she knew. And they still had a ways to travel to make the Amazon gathering. She wasn't going to let the bard miss out because of a stupid flu. "Come, Gabrielle."
"Poor choice of words, Xena."
Xena shot her a wicked look. "That was very funny. Now let's get going. It will take the rest of the day to get to the festival." She sounded stuffed up, but the weariness was gone and Xena insisted she was up to traveling. Gabrielle hurried to pack their belongings into the saddles. Nothing was ever common with Xena, she thought to herself. Not even catching a cold.
A blinding light enveloped them as they mounted their horses. Electricity filled the air and the temple trembled . Shielding her eyes with one arm, Xena drew her sword with the other and searched the sky for the source of the light. There was a buzzing, crackling sound as the light swung around them slowly. Then it was gone. Gabrielle pointed to a tiny object in the cloudless blue sky. "There! By the gods, Xena, what was that?"
"I don't think that was one of OUR gods, Gabrielle." Xena check their surroundings with a focused gaze before sheathing her sword. "I think that was the owner of this ancient temple suggesting it was time for us to leave."
"Well, I definitely agree with that. Although it is rather rude of you to come and go so quickly."
"Give it a rest, Gabrielle." She warned softly.
Gabrielle mounted her horse and was suddenly glad that she had left the flowers on the altar. "This place is creepy. And I can't say it holds any pleasant memories."
"Better make that ‘happy' memories," The warrior corrected her with a chuckle. "They were pleasant enough for me."
The sun was golden early in day. The air was warm and dry laced with the fragrance of late spring flowers. It was the kind of day that would have induced the pair to travel leisurely with frequent stops to snack and chat and even relax. But Xena kept an urgent pace as if trying to distance herself from her current affliction. A futile endeavor at best since their journey was punctuated by sneezes that momentarily incapacitated their hapless, if pleasured victim. After one such event, Xena dismounted and crumpled at the base of a tree.
"I don't think I can take much more of this," she admitted.
Gabrielle sat down beside her and smiled. "I seem to remember that you can take quite a lot of it, Xena."
Xena smiled as she looked at the bard. "It's not exactly the same as being with you, braggart."
Gabrielle had to laugh at that. It was the reassurance she needed to hear and all her irritation vanished. "I would hope not. I feel useless enough right now, Xena. I'd prefer not to play second best to a virus. And watching you…enjoy yourself without me…is not exactly a confidence booster."
"Ah choo!" Xena sank back against the tree with a deep sigh. She closed her eyes, crossed her legs and waited for the sensations to subside. "It does feel good." she admitted. Then noting the look on Gabrielle's face, added diplomatically, "But lonely. You are second to nothing or no one." Gabrielle leaned toward her intending to plant a sympathetic kiss on her cheek, only Xena dodged her. "No more stimulation, please. I'm at the end of my nerves as it is."
Gabrielle frowned. Watching Xena orgasm over and over again made her own juices flow in a mix of passion and envy. "I'm delighted your nerves are at an end," she thought out loud. "Mine on the other hand are growing more demanding"'
Xena patted the blonde's shoulder sympathetically. "I'd love to help you with that," she noted. "Only, right now…" she sneezed and clutched Gabrielle to her breasts while she panted and writhed.
"By the gods," Gabrielle's head was stuck in Xena's vice-like grip against the warrior's armor. "This is a torment, Xena." But the warrior could only offer a languid smile.
They remounted their horses and continued toward the festival. The route took them through a gorgeous valley that surrounded a crystal lake. Ordinarily they'd have taken a swim, enjoyed lunch and probably each other. Her stomach growling, Gabrielle suggested the most pressing one. "Feel up to fishing?"
"I'd probably drown, Gabrielle. These sneezes and their charming after effects are relentless. The fish would run for cover. Ah CHOO!" She slumped forward in the saddle which signaled Argo to stop. "Oh….ummmm." She swooned for a long moment breathing heavily.
"I see what you mean." Gabrielle frowned. The sneezes were not only stronger, she noted, but coming - if you will - much more frequently. It was exhausting merely watching. Not to mention the effect that Xena's reaction was having on her own hormones. She wondered if either of them could take two more days of this, assuming Xena wasn't one of the "lucky ones." Which was an absurd assumption, of course. Xena was as lucky as they come. Okay, that was a poor choice of words, she thought as she bit her fingernails, not at all amused by the potential week ahead.
They were about a mile from the Amazon gathering when Xena dismounted, this time without a sneeze, and prepared to make camp. "I don't think I should accompany you tomorrow, Gabrielle. I really feel quite terrible. Well, mostly terrible, then really good, then terrible again."
The bard had planned for them to spend the night in the queens hut. Clean surroundings, a bowl or two of soup and a glass of Port would do Xena a world of good. And, she had even allowed herself to hope, Xena might be well enough for them to share a mutual orgasm. But another sneeze followed by the now familiar if disquieting performance by Xena, dissuaded her and she didn't press the issue. They could see what the morning would bring before making that decision.
"You just want me to leave the two of you alone – you and your new romantic flu friend." The bard teased. "And while I hate being a third wheel, I'm not leaving you here alone and sick." She looked into the warrior's eyes. "I love you, Xena"
Xena shed her armor and undressed down to her simple beige tunic. She walked over to the bard and took her in her arms. "I love you, Gabrielle." She bent down and kissed the bard slow and passionately, letting her arms roam curves that longed to be touched. Gabrielle put her arms around the warrior's neck and melted against her. She felt Xena's fingers undoing her bodice and a fire raced down her spine and into her center. Touch me. Please touch me. Her body pleaded and the warrior heard. Xena pulled them both down to the grassy ground. Turning Gabrielle on her back, the warrior settled over her and kissed her lips, her neck, her breasts and proceeded downward. Gabrielle panted and closed her eyes setting her desire loose. Xena moved her thigh between the bard's legs and began a rhythmic motion that sent waves through the bard. Xena stroked the bard's breast and suckled at the nipples, first one then the one. Gabrielle was at the verge.
Then Xena sneezed and rolled to one side with a look of bliss on her beautiful face.
"I've heard women complain about men doing that." The bard snarled as she extracted herself from beneath the swooning warrior. "But I never thought it would happen to me." She put on her clothes and walked over to the fire. She kicked at it, grabbed her staff and began banging it against a nearby tree. Xena watched with languid eyes and a silly smile on her face. ‘Better the tree than me.' She thought. She had the distinct feeling they were being watched, but didn't alarm the bard who was dealing with her own issues.
Xena staggered to her feet. She wanted to gather firewood and wait for the bard to calm down. Gabrielle did after a while. She cleaned up the camp and kept busy enough to avoid the warrior who was too wise to approach her.
"What did you make of that light this morning?" Xena asked testing the waters as she stacked fire wood and tried to decide what to hunt for their supper.
"I've heard stories of strange greenish creatures that used to be seen in these forests. " Gabrielle told her without looking at the warrior. "I thought they were simple children's stories to explain how humans discovered fire, learned to farm crops and the like. You know, creation stories, from a time before the gods." She put the frying pan beside the fire and wiped the plates in preparation for the meal. "There was one story about an encounter with a metal chariot of sorts and two green beings with large black eyes." Like the mosaic at the eerie temple, she realized. "They were moving stones, huge stones, through the air as if they weighed nothing and..."
She paused, looking for Xena who had disappeared into the brush. "I was going to ask if you were up to hunting?" she said to the absent Xena. "After I finished my story!" She shook her fist in the air. "You asked me, you know, about what happened this morning." She wiped her hand across her face in frustration. "Not that you ever listen to my answers, much less my stories." That ignored and useless, not to mention used, feeling in her gut ratcheted up a notch. She felt reduced to cook and cleaning girl. Unnecessary companion to the many skilled and sexually sated warrior princess.
"AH AH AH CHOO!…..ohhhh, mummmmm, ahhhh." The sound of Xena echoed from the trees nearby. Two small black birds took flight at the sudden noise rising high into the slate colored sky.
Dropping to her knees beside the fire, Gabrielle watched the birds fly off. She felt like crying but she wouldn't give the warrior the satisfaction. Xena was getting more than enough satisfaction as it was. She turned to where a bush rustled and a bedraggled Xena stumbled out of it with a plump rabbit carcass in hand, leaves and twigs in her hair and a look of abject misery on her face. Immediately all the bard's anger and frustration disappeared. She rose and hugged the warrior.
"I'm sorry, Xena. I don't know what came over me." Gabrielle told her.
Xena half laughed. "I think it was me." She cleared her sore throat and groaned. "I can't help it, Gabrielle. It's not my fault. It's, it's just something that happens." She looked exhausted and no matter whatever else was going on, it was obvious that Xena was truly sick. Handing the rabbit to Gabrielle, she lay down on her bed roll and closed her eyes. "Do you remember that last time that we visited the Amazons?"
"How could I forget?" Gabrielle shook her head as she recalled Xena's X-rated performance. "Oh, gods." she was seized by a terrifying possibility. "What if you….if they think…oh no, no. Not this time."
"What's the matter?" Xena chuckled. "Don't want to enhance your reputation for sexual prowess? I'm sure they can hear us right now." She had the feeling of being watched again. "They already think…"
"I KNOW what they think." Gabrielle interrupted. "I was hoping to live that down by now. I mean a queen needs to be admired for more than her…"
"Love making abilities." Xena turned a more delicate phrase. "That's why I think I should stay here while you go to the festival. I'm not even an Amazon, remember. You shine all on your own, Gabrielle. There is so much more for them to admire about you. Go and have a good time. You certainly deserve to after these last few days. My, ah, affliction can remain our little secret. I‘ll stick a sock in my mouth while you're gone."
"That won't be necessary." Gabrielle chuckled. "Sneeze away. Or better yet, get well. Are you sure you'll be alright without me?"
"Please Gabrielle, not the ‘are you sure' question." Xena got to her feet and gathered her into a warm hug. "I'm sorry this has been so hard on you," she whispered as she nuzzled the bard's ear. "I will make it up to you, I promise." She felt Gabrielle shiver and kissed her on the forehead and pulled her closer. Then, as poorly timed as possible, she sneezed and sank to the ground writhing and panting. Gabrielle clenched her teeth and walked away, her fists balled in frustration.
Night replaced evening and Gabrielle noted that Xena's fever had returned. She urged her to take another bowl of rabbit broth, which was refused, and finished setting the camp to an orderly state. Xena lay on her side watching her and trying to stifle the sneezes that by now were racking her frame frequently. It would run its course, she knew, but not for at least another day or worst case week. The visage of that horrid woman who had tripped from the force of a sneeze and landed heavily against Xena's chest popped into her mind. Spittle had landed on the warrior's neck and face as the woman broke into that repulsive laugh. Must be how I acquired this abominable flu, Xena figured. All the way from Asia to me. Retribution can take many forms, she mused. Although it was unclear who exactly was paying for her past sins this time…herself or poor Gabrielle.
For a second night, their sleep was interrupted by Xena's sneezing and the accompanying sighs, moans and gasps. One particular spat of sneezing brought Gabrielle to near tears as she hugged her friend and stroked her brow. The night seemed endlessly long as they labored through it at times holding each other for mutual support.
Morning brought a relief of sorts. Xena slept undisturbed for several hours, leaving Gabrielle to prepare for the festival. She dressed in her amazon clothes and composed the feathers and beads that decorated her headpiece. She sipped tea as she worked, a slight tickle having developed in her throat. Being an amazon was one of her proudest achievements. The many friends that she knew where awaiting her arrival cheered her mood. There would be dancing and singing and ceremonies as yet unknown to her. Most of all there would be friendship and loving acceptance. She wished that Xena would accompany her, but the night had been so difficult, she knew it best if Xena rested. "It's no worse than a cold." Xena had assured her with a promised to send Argo if her flu got worse. And Gabrielle knew she could get back quickly if she got the feeling anything was wrong. She already planned to cut the visit short, a day and a night at most.
"Have a good visit, my dear amazon queen." Xena smiled, rising from her bed roll to embrace her departing lover. "Enjoy yourself….and only yourself." She winked.
"Easy for you to say!" Gabrielle jibbed. "I on the other hand am not quite that talented."
"I know it's been a drought for you in that regard." Gathering the bard into a warm bear hug, she promised again, "I'll make it up to you soon." Xena sneezed and Gabrielle felt a quiver so familiar from their love making and heard the breathy moan that she cherished. This time, Gabrielle experienced Xena's orgasm as a wonderful, if unearned, feeling and she savored it.
"There is only you for me, Xena. Always and forever." Then pulling away, she kissed the warrior gently on the mouth and left for the gathering.
The Amazons greeted her with great fanfare and endless hugs and platonic kisses. Two young women she had never met before took a special interest in her. Holding her hands and petting her hair as they walked along with her. Their names were Elyat and Sorena they exuberantly informed her. They showed her to the Queen's Hut that was filled with fruits and breads and a large cask of wine. They had obviously been expecting the warrior princess to accompany her, but neither expressed concern for the missing warrior. Gabrielle laid out the gifts she had brought for special friends and looked at the bed which seemed too large and lonely for her alone. Her thoughts found Xena and she sent her love and hopes of healing. ‘Be well, Xena. I miss you.'
"Do want to rest?" asked Elyat. "You must be tired," said Sorena. They knelt on the bed and motioned for her join them.
"No, I'm not." Gabrielle answered pointedly. "I'm fine. Really." She turned and left quickly. The two amazons hurried after her.
It was a full afternoon of activity. A banquet started almost immediately and the food was an endless stream of exotic dishes from the diverse amazon tribes that had traveled to the gathering from different countries and cultures. Gabrielle told dozens of stories about her travels with Xena. "How is Xena? " "Where is the warrior princess?" Several of her old friends inquired. "She's nearby." Gabrielle told them. "She had some business to attend to. Maybe she will join us later." She was grateful for their interest in the warrior princess, but each question only increased her worry.
During the evening, she attended the singing and the exuberant dance that was characteristic of the tribes. Gabrielle sat in her place of honor amid the other tribal queens and watched. The tribes had grown in number and there were many new to her members, a fact that warmed heart. The amazons had been through disasters several years ago. She studied their faces and smiled at their self-confidence. She also began to notice that members of her own tribe shared knowing glances and whispered to each other in a way that gave Gabrielle occasional pause. After all, she told herself, she had been the sole of queenly decorum since she had arrived. Eventually the wine took hold and suspicion receded. Elyat and Sorena sought her attention again and proposed returning to the queen's hut. Flattered, Gabrielle accepted what she presumed was the innocent companionship of star struck teenagers.
They entered the hut in an arm and arm and arm chain. The two amazons petted their queen's cheeks and began to untie her bodice. Gabrielle stepped back out of their grasp. They giggled and began to disrobe.
"Okay, what's going on?" she asked them bluntly.
Elyat smiled broadly. "We've heard all about your love making abilities, my queen"
"You and Xena are legendary lovers." Sorena confirmed tossing her skirt to the floor.
"Xena is a lucky woman." Offered Elyat now lying naked on the bed.
Gabrielle shook her head vehemently and stepped backward to the doorway. "Oh, let's hope not." she said confusing them. "A week would be unbearable."
Sorena, bare-chested and grinning, stepped forward and hooked Gabrielle's arm attempting to guide her to the bed.
Gabrielle stood her ground and wished she had her staff. "Sorry to disappoint you." she told them. "I have no intention of …" A strong hand grasped her shoulder from behind.
"She's spoken for!" Said a firm, unchallengeable voice.
"Xena!" Gabrielle fairly jumped to the warrior's side. "It's wonderful that you could make it after all."
"Just in time, apparently." Xena chuckled fighting back what would have been an especially ill-timed sneeze and drawing her sword. She wrapped her free arm about Gabrielle's shoulders and hustled her past the two wide-eyed amazons who were grabbing their clothes and rushing to the door.
"By the gods, Xena!." Gabrielle ran a trembly hand across her forehead. "I'm so glad you are here, ah, better."
"Got any wine in here?" Xena sheathed her sword and paced the circumference of the hut. Then she sank heavily to the bed, sneezed and moaned and added "Oh, Gab-ri-elle" just loud enough for the two disappearing amazon guards to hear as they were hurrying to their tent. Gabrielle slapped her on the shoulder. "You just had to do that, didn't you! That wasn‘t even a real sneeze."
"I heard we have a reputation to maintain.." Xena grinned. "And the sneeze was half real." She fell dramatically back on the bed, her hand on her forehead. "I‘m still recuperating. Have you lost all sympathy, woman?"
"Well now they not only think I'm good, they think I am quick." said the bard feeling not in the least sympathetic.
Xena patted the bed inviting the bard to join her. "Sometimes you are. Quick I mean. And you are always good." she said as she began to untie the leather straps of the bard's bodice. "Now me, I like to take my time. And believe me…"
"…it's about time." Gabrielle completed the thought. "I'm tired of being the observer." She said slipping out of her queenly outfit. "I am much better hands on."
"Truer words were never spoken." replied Xena huskily. Stripped to the skin, the warrior gathered the bard to her. "You were saying?"
Gabrielle moved her hands down the warrior's sides and kissed her a long, long kiss on the lips. Drawing a deep breath, Xena continued the kissing, proceeding to the bard's the chin, then the neck, the collar bone and on and on downward just as she had done before. Gabrielle sighed and squirmed and savored every touch. Lying back, Xena seated the bard atop her waist. She massaged her breasts and pressed her thigh between Gabrielle's legs. She touched every sensitive place and fed the bard's mounting desired with every act of love making the bard enjoyed most. This was about Gabrielle and the promise the warrior had made to her.
"I love you, Gabrielle." The warrior whispered gazing up into the shining green eyes. The bard was so ready to release. Xena caressed between her legs and then slid her fingers into her. Gabrielle's head went back and she rose with every thrust of the warrior's hand. Then the world disappeared around her, leaving nothing but the fire that pulsed beneath her skin and the blissful waves of pleasure that were her orgasm. Xena sat up and held the bard close as she came. Gabrielle melted into the warrior's embrace.
"Promises must be kept." Xena said as she lay the bard back down beside her on the bed. Gabrielle managed a slight smile. Then they enfolded each other as they drifted off blissfully to sleep.
They decided to forego most of the festivities of the next morning. Xena had her color and her strength back, but Gabrielle was feeling increasingly under the weather. Her throat was sore and her sinuses felt heavy. She lingered abed a few hours and Xena procured them a luscious brunch from the buffet.
"Time I served you for once." She said concerned, setting down the tray of food and feeling the bard's forehead. "You have a fever."
Gabrielle sneezed and looked up at her partner with a surprised glint in her eye. "Oh, my! What a strange feeling." She put her hand to abdomen and let out a breath. "You don't think, I mean, oh no." She sneezed again, harder this time, and a feeling of warmth spread through her groan. Startled, she grabbed the warrior's hand. "Xena, you gave it to ME."
"Giving you an orgasm is one of my favorite skills, my dear bard." Xena smirked. "Besides aren't you always going on about sharing? Good for the soul and all that." She tousled Gabrielle's bangs. "Alright, I'm sorry. Truly, but I'll see you through it. "
"Does it always feel like, like…?" asked Gabrielle rather sheepishly.
"Like that and then some. Enjoyed every minute of it." she offered an only slightly sarcastic grin. "It is exhausting and like I said, oddly lonesome." She made a motion with her hands that suggested it was hard to describe. "But no one dies from it. I'll make you some tea…with honey."
"Thank you, just ask the amazons for some and a bowl of soup would be nice." The bard looked at the tray of heavy food which was not at all inviting to her. "I don't think I can eat any of that. Please tell them…""I don‘t think I will need to tell them anything." Xena paused at the door and turned back. "Do me a favor and don't sneeze until I return." she winked and flashed a dazzling smile. "I have a reputation to maintain too." Gabrielle threw a pillow at her as the warrior ducked out the door.
When she returned, Xena handed the bard a warm cup of honeyed tea. She took a small black vile from her bodice and poured some of the contents into the tea. "I recommend the special ingredient. Cured me right up, well, after a few hours I felt amazingly better."
"What is it?"
Xena corked the vile and returned it to her cleavage. "I have no idea. It doesn't have any odor or taste. I found it by my bedroll after a nap I took when you left. There was this note folded next to it." She unfolded a triangle of green paper and showed it to the bard."
"These looks like the strange symbols at the temple." Gabrielle examined the note. "But what is this?" She ran her finger over three familiar looking symbols. "These two circles atop crosses are the symbols for females, right? The third circle has two dots and above a curved line."
Xena shrugged. "Don't ask me, Gabrielle. You are the bard. But I figured the two women symbols were you and me, and the other one was a happy face. Whatever the rest of the note says, I think the vile was supposed to make us happy."
Gabrielle frowned. "You could have been taking poison, Xena. Why would you drink something without knowing for certain what it was?"
The warrior laughed. "For one thing, I felt like crap. For another, a beam of light just like the one we saw at that strange temple was shining on it. Only this time it wasn't frightening, it was warm and friendly."
"The beam of light was warm and friendly." Gabrielle repeated incredulously. "Well, I guess that's no more weird than a flu that gives you orgasms." Speaking of which, the bard sneezed and suffered the pleasant consequences as she curled her knees to her chest and moaned. She sneezed twice more in quick succession and Xena got a good taste of the useless feeling that Gabrielle had had to deal with.
"This is hard to watch." She said as the bard writhed and moaned and looked at her with half-closed green eyes. It was the sated smile that hurt the most. It was not something the warrior wanted to see unless she had put it there. She cleared her throat and frowned. "I should have given you the vile last night, when you started showing symptoms. I just wanted to be sure there were no ill effects first. I wanted to make sure I was okay before I shared it."
Gabrielle let loose her grip on the blanket, and tried to sit up. "That makes sense. How long did you say it takes to work?"
Xena helped the bard sit up and settled beside her on the bed. "I think somewhere between two to six hours. I was in and out of sleep so I'm not really sure."
"That's better than days." Gabrielle aborted a sneeze by pinching her nose.
"That maneuver doesn't really work, you know." Xena warned her.
"Sure it does. Ah-CHOO. Ohhhhhhhh." Gabrielle fell back on the bed and clutched a pillow.
"Told you." Xena raised her eyebrows and sighed.
Summoning all her will power and a fierce desire to keep from further damage to her reputation, Gabrielle did manage the evening with the Amazons. Xena accompanied her and for a few guarded hours they enjoying the singing, the feasting, the dancing and, for Gabrielle, the occasional sneeze. The side effects were concealed by the music and Xena‘s skillful ability to hold the bard upright. The two amazon guards kept them in view albeit from a respectful distance and cast admiring if not envious glances their way.
"Ah youth," Xena whispered, catching a glimpse of the inquisitive teenagers as she nuzzled Gabrielle‘s check. "With its high hopes and hormones." Gabrielle glanced over at the two young amazons and felt a bit older and perhaps a bit wiser having lived her journey with the warrior. "We should tell them to be patient. Their dreams will be realized. They will get there."
"Naw. Let them figure it out. Getting there is half the fun," said Xena. "Come along now, my sick little queen, time for bed. Come on."
"How many times are you going to use the ‘come' word, Xena?"
"I haven't decided yet, my comely little bard. How many times are you going to sneeze?" Xena retorted. "Come on, let's go."
Gabrielle groaned. They settled for the night both hoping it would not be as difficult as the one Xena had suffered through. And it wasn't. The potion had dramatically reduced the effect of the flu and the two got what was mainly a solid night's sleep. The few time Gabrielle did sneeze, the warrior would add her own vocals to the bard's pleasured cries and moans. And just before dawn, to the bard's great embarrassment, Xena unleashed a masterpiece of love making sounds that rivaled the previous year's performance. She ended it with a throaty: ‘GAB-RI-EEELLLEEE.'
"I will get you for that, Xena." Gabrielle vowed, but Xena simply rubbed the bard's back gently and smiled a very self-satisfied smile. She fed her tea with honey and refreshed the cool cloth on her forehead even though the fever was broken.
"Looks like you are going to live," Xena gave the bard a reassuring grin.
"The question is will I ever want to have sex again," Gabrielle sighed and stood up.
Xena, studied her with glowing blue eyes. "Oh, trust me." She arched an eyebrow. "You will."
Losing herself to those irresistible blue eyes, Gabrielle knew that Xena was absolutely right. She smiled a shy smile and nodded. They had survived the flu, daunted a few amorous Amazons, and life was promising to return to normal. "Whatever normal is with Tall, Gorgeous and Deadly," Gabrielle thought. She blew her nose to prevent any latent urge to sneeze from sneaking up on her. "You know, it only took each of us a couple of days to get over that accursed flu of yours. It seemed longer, but it actually came and went pretty fast."
"You mean came and came and came and…"
"Xena!" Gabrielle snapped a towel at the warrior who grabbed it and snapped it back.
"I'm just trying to be accurate." Xena held out her hands projecting innocence. "You know, you're beautiful when you're angry."
Gabrielle gave her a half-hearted smile then sneezed. "Ohhhhh, by the gods…"
"Snuck up on you, did it?" Xena held the bard upright. "Or was it me going all soft on you?"
Gabrielle recovered quickly. "Sneak attack." she sighed. "What do you say we get out of here? I remember that beautiful crystal clear lake we passed. I'm game if you are."
"Sounds wonderful." Xena nodded. "I promise not to let either of us drown. And I don't care if we frighten the fish."
Once all packed up and ready to leave, Xena and Gabrielle stepped out to say their goodbyes. They were greeted with broad smiles and knowing nods which ensured that the reputation the bard dreaded most was now permanent. Gabrielle gathered hugs as she made her way to the edge of the camp and searched the crowd for two particular faces.
"I heard they weren't feeling so well this morning," Xena informed her, easily having read her mind. She pulled the vile from her cleavage and waggled it. "Want me to leave this for anyone?"
From the distance a series of sneezes followed by faintly audible groans wafted on the air. "No, let those two work it out. They were oversexed anyway." Gabrielle told her.
The warrior and the bard mounted their horses and stirred them to a quick trot. The sound of more sneezing followed them. It seemed to be chasing them out. Once safely away, Gabrielle turned and looked back. The sneezing she could still faintly hear was accompanied by the familiar sounds of surprise and soft, sensuous moans.
Putting a hand on the bard's shoulder Xena leaned down and inquired. "You, ah, didn't kiss EVERY one, did you?"
Gabrielle looked up at her, eyes revealing a hint of guilt. "Not THAT kind of kiss. You know how friendly the Amazons are, Xena. Hugs and kisses all around." She gave a dry little chuckle.
Xena folded her arms across her chest. "Good thing I got there when I did yesterday."
"Didn't trust me with the Amazons?" the bard chided her.
"Don't trust the Amazons," the warrior replied. "We are not attending next year's festival."
Gabrielle laughed. "There will be no more festivals for me, Xena. I'm never coming to another one."
"Poor choice of words," Xena commented. "To quote my favorite bard."
"Yah!" They yelled to their horses goading them into a gallop. Off they rode, having spread a bit of joy and a lot of germs, in an adventure that would end with a lusty afternoon at a crystal lake. An adventure that the bard knew she would never commit to a scroll.
Footnote: A small silver vehicle slid silently from behind a cloud. The two small green humanoids shared their thoughts telepathically as they observed the warrior and the bard.
"They seemed to enjoy the effects of our flu." One of the aliens thought.
"They seem to enjoy each other even more without it. These two have mastered real love." The other pointed out. "They didn't need the antidote."
"Maybe this planet will someday be filled with millions of beings like the warrior and the bard. That would certainly improve the place."
"Or maybe one day humans will invent television and produce a show that tells their story."
"That could work, I'd even watch the show provided it has enough fight scenes."
Then with a hearty synchronized sneeze and a round of telepathic laughter, the pair guided their vehicle to the star from which they came. They would share their news of the little blue planet and its warrior and bard. It would be received as progress for a backwards species. And the ancient gods would smile.