The next morning Gabrielle awoke cradled in Xena’s arms.  It was well past sunrise and she looked at her sleeping companion in surprise.  Xena however seemed very peaceful.  Gabrielle rose slightly and kissed her mate softly on the chin.  Xena opened one eye and looked dubiously down at her lover.

 

“Hey I'm sleeping here,” she protested slightly.

 

“I see.  Shouldn’t you be up by now doing sword drills, preparing to make cadets miserable, or whatever else you do in the wee dawn,” Gabrielle said softly with a hint of gentle sarcasm.

 

“Not this morning.  I’m sleeping in.  The sword can rest, the cadets can be happy and the dawn can be wee without me.”  Xena then snuggled down into the covers and drew Gabrielle closer to her.

 

Gabrielle was just a bit shocked at Xena’s sudden lackadaisical mood.  She was pleased but still she was curious.  “Xena what’s going on?  Not that I’m complaining  - I love snuggling but I had the impression snuggling wasn’t on your agenda lately.”  Gabrielle felt Xena stiffen slightly at the possible reproach so Gabrielle quickly added, “I’m glad you have changed your agenda.  You are very good at snuggling.”

 

Xena relaxed.  “I have many skills and snuggling is just one of them.  I’ll have to use it more. I don’t want to get rusty.”

 

Gabrielle was happy to snuggle but now that she was awake she also had an urge to chat.  Lately the two hadn’t chatted much and morning was the one time the couple usually liked to talk things over.

 

“I’m sorry about last night,” Gabrielle said.

 

Xena who had her eyes closed now opened one and peered down at her companion.  “Sorry for what?  The dance was really good.  I was enjoying it.  I just don’t understand why you had the frog?”

 

“We don’t have a cat.”  Gabrielle said as if that was the obvious answer to Xena’s observation.

 

“OK.  If we had a cat there would have been no frog?”

 

“That’s right.”

 

“I don’t understand.”  Xena couldn’t wait for Gabrielle’s explanation.

 

“Remember Bast.”

 

“Yeah the cat god from Egypt.  Very clean and pregnant,” Xena observed.

 

“She’s the goddess of fertility and Kaytal told me you could call upon her if you wanted to get pregnant but you needed a cat to do that.  We don’t have a cat but you could substitute a frog.  Frogs are also fertility symbols.  So if you caught a frog and put it under your bed and it croaked when you came, you would get pregnant.”  Gabrielle was by now embarrassed.  The whole thing sounded so absurd.

 

Xena stroked her chin and thought about that for a moment.  “That’s mighty iffy.  Frogs are notoriously un-cooperative.  They are liable just to spit in you eye.”  Xena said dourly.

 

Gabrielle looked up at her lover who was being terribly serious.  “Yeah I noticed.  That’s why I took out some insurance.  The belly dance was a fertility dance.”

 

“Hmm.  I don’t know if the dance would have gotten you pregnant but it certainly would have gotten you into the position where pregnancy might indeed have occurred.  Why were you doing all this anyway?”

 

Gabrielle became very silent and began to absently play with Xena’s fingers that were holding her around her waist.  Gabrielle took a deep breath.  It was time to confess her fears.  “I was afraid that I was the reason we can’t have a child.”

 

Xena interrupted softly, “Gabrielle, who says we can’t have a child.”

 

“We’ve been trying for weeks, Xena.  It’s obvious that something’s wrong and it’s me.  I know it.  When I had Hope I must have injured myself.  It was such a traumatic pregnancy – it had to have done some type of damage.”  Gabrielle said all this in a rush and verging on tears.

 

Xena gently turned Gabrielle’ face to her.  “This is nonsense Gabrielle.  You can have a child, I’m sure.”

 

“How can you be sure?” Gabrielle asked timorously.

 

“Well, Aphrodite is a goof but she isn’t cruel.  She wouldn’t have put us in this position if she weren’t sure we could carry out the plan.  She loves you and she wants you to be happy.  She wants you to have a child.  With me on the other hand she could just be playing head tricks but not you.”  Xena logically explained.

 

Gabrielle thought about this for a moment but then asked, “Xena if you are so sure, why the cream?  I know it wasn’t for that enormous erection.  Was it?”  Gabrielle asked wide-eyed.

 

“NO!”  Xena answered quickly.  “That was a surprise.  My God, Gabrielle I wouldn’t do that to you.”  Xena then took a deep breath. “No I guess I had the same fears as you.  I thought I might be the problem.  After all I haven’t taken very good care of Herb.  I got him kicked and I wouldn’t let him dance when he just wanted to be happy.  So I thought maybe he needed some help.  Well now he is just exhausted and won’t be up for his duties for awhile.”  Xena said sadly.

 

The fact that Xena was still referring to her penis as a third person was really beginning to bother Gabrielle more and more.  “Why do you still refer to your penis like it’s a person and not part of you?”

 

Xena shrugged.  “Well at first I did it as a joke but actually it doesn’t seem like it is part of me.  I know it sounds weird but it has it’s own little personality and reactions.  It is like I have a visitor down there.  I’ve grown fond of him but there is no use getting attached, he’ll be gone soon enough.”

 

Gabrielle smiled at Xena’s sudden flight of fancy.  “Well I guess Herb will be resting today.”  Gabrielle chuckled, “What will we report about last night and this morning?”

 

Xena laid out the stark choices.  “Well, we can tell Ife the truth.   You got frog paralysis while doing a belly dance and I had an erection so big I could have used it in a pole vaunting competition.  Or we can simply lie.” 

 

Gabrielle thought for a nanosecond.  “Let’s lie.”

 

“Good choice.  As for this morning, well, it’s not over yet,” Xena raised an eyebrow.

 

Gabrielle looked at her lover in concern.  “Xena, I’m still a bit sore and you said Herb needed his rest.”

 

“Hum.  Gabrielle, I never needed a Herb before and what I have in mind might actually make you feel better.”  Xena grinned lasciviously down at Gabrielle.

 

Gabrielle smiled her own lascivious smile.  “Well, well, I do want to feel better and I can’t think of any better remedy than what you can provide.  Let’s see if we can remember how to make love the old fashioned way.”

 

A candle mark later a contented Gabrielle was lying with Xena’s head on her chest.   Xena had not lost any of her many skills and she was feeling much better.  It was the best sex she had in weeks.  Gabrielle was very happy.

 

Xena too was very happy.  She made Gabrielle happy and it was the best sex she had had in weeks.  There was no agenda to accomplish and its only goal was to make her lover happy.  Xena hadn’t been this fulfilled in what seemed like a very long time.

 

“Xena do you think this counts towards our obligation.”  Gabrielle asked sleepily not really caring what the answer would be.

 

“It’s sex, Gabrielle.  The council oddly enough never stipulated what 'sex’ should be, so yes it does count.”  Xena answered with confidence.

 

“You would have made a great lawyer.”  Gabrielle said with just a slight smirk.  Xena was only slightly offended but was mollified when Gabrielle decided to try her own oral experiment.  The experiment was a resounding success.  Xena and Herb were very happy for the rest of the day.

 

 

 

 

The days now went by with a lot less stress for the couple.  They resolved to take it one day at a time and not worry about having a baby.  They certainly made love but they now did it at their own pace and in a way that satisfied them.  They reported to Ife as ordered but they were adamant about throwing out the schedule.  They had their own schedule now and were very content.

 

The village on the other hand was not content.  It began to look to many that Gabrielle could not get pregnant.  This concerned many in the village.  If Xena remained a man then she would have to go and Gabrielle would surely go with her.  This would mean two valuable members of the tribe would be gone and despite what had been decided at the now infamous council meeting, no one really wanted to see that happen.

 

Mavis was especially worried.  She felt a great responsibility for the plight of the village and her two heroes.  If had only she and Celia had minded their own business Xena and Gabrielle would never have been exposed.  She was determined to find a way to help the queen and her consort.  It didn’t take long for the girl to come up with a plan.  It was brilliant, of course, but it would require Celia’s co-operation. 

 

That night Mavis discussed her plan with Celia.

 

“Celia, we have to do something.” Mavis declared as the two women were preparing for bed.

 

“About what?” Celia answered absently.

 

“About Xena and Gabrielle, of course.”

 

“I think we have done enough about, or more precisely, to them.”  Celia answered sharply.  “We should leave them alone.”

 

“Well, we are responsible for their problems,” Mavis huffed.

 

“We!?  We are responsible?  Don’t include me.  I told you to leave Xena alone.  But did you listen – NO!  You had to investigate and now the tribe is about to lose them.  I think you have done enough.”  Celia hoped this would end the conversation.

 

“You’re just as responsible as me.  You went along with my plan and if you hadn’t been soaking in the stream we wouldn’t have caught them in the act.”  Mavis was full of righteous indignation.  How dare Celia say it was her fault? 

 

Celia sighed.  Mavis was right – if she hadn’t listened to her friend in the first place or gone along with her stupid plan, the tribe wouldn’t be in trouble now.  Although Celia agreed with Mavis, she wasn’t about to be lured into another hare brained scheme.  “All right!  I’m responsible too.  Satisfied?  Let’s get to bed.”

 

Mavis was now somewhat placated.  Celia felt guilty too.   If she felt she was as responsible as Mavis, then she would just have to go along with her plan to solve Xena and Gabrielle’s problem.

 

“Celia, I have a plan to help Xena and Gabrielle.”  Mavis stated proudly.

 

“Good.  When you are done carrying it out let me know.”  Celia stated casually as she got into bed.

 

“I may need your help.”  Mavis said quietly.

 

“No!”  Celia said emphatically.  “You don’t need my help.  I’m sure you are perfectly capable of carrying out your plan.  So Good Night.”  Celia blew put the lamp and turned over.

 

Her friend was undaunted.  “Yes I think I am very capable of carrying out my plan but I think Xena and Gabrielle deserve a choice, don’t you?”

 

“Yeah, Yeah.  They definitely deserved a choice.  Now go to sleep,” Celia commanded.  Wait! A choice?! Why do they need a choice?  A choice about what?  OH Gods! Now what!?

 

Celia hastily sat up and relit the lamp.  “What are you talking about?’  What choice?”

 

“Between you and me of course.  Now I’m small and blond and look like the queen, just a little, so maybe my baby would look like her.  You, however, are tall and dark and your baby would look like Xena, don’t you think?”  Mavis was very interested in Celia’s answer.

 

“Baby?  We don’t have any babies.”  Celia said in trepidation.  She knew she wasn’t going to like Mavis’s plan.

 

“Well not yet but if my plan works out one of us will.”  Mavis said reasonably.

 

“NO, no, no, no, no, no.  We will not be having any babies in the near future. Understand.  So get that idea out of your pea brain right now.”

 

“You haven’t even heard my idea.”

 

“I know what your idea is.  You want us to go to Xena and Gabrielle and offer our services as baby makers.  Right?”

 

GOSH! Celia was so smart.   Although Mavis was impressed with her friend’s deductive abilities, she was disappointed that she didn’t get a chance to tell Celia about her brilliant plan.  “Well yeah that is the plan but it’s a good plan.    When the baby’s born they will adopt it.  See, this solves all the problems,” Mavis concluded brightly.

 

“No it doesn’t,” Celia answered sharply.  “The spell wouldn’t be over.  Gabrielle has to have the baby.  Even if we – no - you have Xena’s baby she would she still have,” Celia looked around and whispered, “the penis.”

 

Mavis nodded her head thoughtfully.  “Yeah that’s a toughie but I’m afraid there isn’t anything we can do about it.  It does appear that Xena is going to be stuck with that thing.”  Mavis shrugged, “So it might as well be put to good use.”

 

“Huh?  What are you talking about?  As far as I know Xena is putting it to good use.  She is trying to get Gabrielle pregnant.”

 

Mavis shook her head sadly.  “But it’s not working.  I know the queen and her consort are being diligent – that’s just the way they are- but it’s obvious that Gabrielle can’t get pregnant.  They will have to leave the village but they can still have a child or even children to raise.  That’s the least we can do for them.”  Mavis felt incredibly noble.

 

Celia felt incredibly exasperated.  “What makes you think Gabrielle can’t get pregnant?”

 

“She’s old,” Mavis answered logically.  “Look she was frozen for twenty-five yeas and asleep in a ring of fire for another year.  She and Xena went to Japa and wandered around with Xena’s pot for two years.”  Mavis now counted on her fingers.  “She has to be over fifty by now.  Much too old to have babies.” 

 

“Yeah, well Xena is older than Gabrielle so maybe she can’t get Gabrielle pregnant,” Celia countered.

 

“Nonsense, men can have babies when they are really old, so that’s not it.  No I’m afraid Gabrielle has old eggs.  What they need are young fresh eggs.  That’s where we come in.”

 

“Mavis we aren’t chickens.  These are people you’re talking about.”  Celia was worried that her friend just wasn’t dealing with the real world here.

 

Mavis rolled her eyes.  “I’m not a fool.  I know we aren’t chickens,” she answered sarcastically.  “But Celia we can give Xena and Gabrielle what they really want – children.  Isn’t that a good thing?”

 

Celia was now truly afraid simply because Mavis was almost making sense.  If Gabrielle couldn’t have children then the couple would have to leave the tribe and they wouldn’t even have a child to comfort them.  On the other hand she was pretty sure what they wanted and what Aphrodite wanted for them was to have their own child.  Nope, Mavis’s plan wasn’t the answer.

 

“Look, Mavis your idea makes some sense…” Celia began.

 

Mavis beamed.

 

“But there is a problem.  How did you plan on telling the queen that she is just too decrepit to get pregnant by her consort?  And we are volunteering to bed her mate to do that little job for her.” 

 

“Well at dinner, of course.  We have a nice dinner tomorrow night and announce our plan.”  Mavis said brightly.

 

Celia stared at her friend.  “You mean somewhere between the soup and desert you would announce that Xena would be getting one of us pregnant by evening’s end.  Well that ought to go over well.  I don’t know whether they will just laugh themselves silly or Gabrielle will have us arrested for treason.  No, no we will not be doing this.  Understand.  By the gods do you realize that you are contemplating not only embarrassing but insulting the queen.  Xena gets pissed off when some one gives Gabrielle a joke gift; imagine what she would do if we announce her wife isn’t good enough to be the mother of her child.  She’ll chop us up in little pieces.”

 

“I didn’t say she wasn’t good enough.”  Mavis said defensively.  “I said she was too old.”

 

“Nice distinction but I doubt if that would go over any better.  Listen.  Forget about it. It’s a bad idea.  Let’s just go to bed.”  Celia climbed back into bed.

 

Mavis bit her lip and said, “I’ve already invited them to dinner.  I slipped a note under their door tonight.” 

 

Celia sighed.  “Fine, we will have them to dinner. We will however not talk about babies, penises, Gabrielle’s advanced age, poultry or anything else that will embarrass the queen or cause Xena to chop off our heads, understand!”

 

Mavis meekly nodded her head and turned over in her bed.  Gosh I thought Celia would have been more altruistic.  She’ll see- Gabrielle and Xena will be overjoyed when I tell them of my plan.  With those happy thoughts Mavis drifted off to sleep.

 

Celia stared at her friend.  Gods what kind of idiot thinks that Xena would ever consider being with any woman except Gabrielle.  Celia sighed and turned over and went to sleep.

 

 

“All right Varia, why exactly have you called us together in the middle of the night?  And why hasn’t Gabrielle been summoned to your little gathering.”  Cyane had just settled down for the night when Varia demanded an extraordinary meeting of the council.  She wasn’t pleased with the former queen’s imperious message and was even less pleased to see that Gabrielle wasn’t present.  She knew Varia had something unpleasant planned for the queen and her consort.  “Oh I know. We’re going to plot against her, right?  Varia, for the love of Dido, get over this obsession with Gabrielle and let us all go back to bed.  I, for one, have someone to get back to.”  With that, Cyane got up to go.

 

The others in the council chamber may have shared Cyane’s exasperation but they were unwilling to dismiss Varia so unceremoniously.  If she called them together at this late hour they had to assume it was important.  Matilda sighed and stood, “I want to go back to bed too but we should listen to what Varia has to say.  Varia make it short and it better not be another half ass plot against Gabrielle.”

 

Varia smirked but got down to business.   “Well I’ll be quick.  Ladies we are missing a great opportunity and time may well be running out to take advantage of a chance to make the Amazon nation the military power of Greece.”

 

The council now grew deathly quiet.  Even Cyane sat back down eager to hear what Varia had to say.  Although she never wanted great power she knew that the Amazons were being pressed on all sides.  Anything that would make Amazonia more secure had to be taken into consideration.  “Varia this better not be about another alliance with Ares.  I will not allow this nation to be plunged into war for the sake of the god of war.”

 

“No.  This doesn’t have anything to do with Ares.  This is about Xena,” Varia said.

 

Cyane leaned forward and asked suspiciously, “What about her?  Are you suggesting that Xena is going to make us a great power?  She doesn’t appear to want power.”

 

“No, you’re right Xena doesn’t want power.” Varia conceded.  “She however will play a vital part in securing the power of the Amazons – for the future.”  Varia now turned and faced the assembled elders.  “Xena is the greatest warrior in Greece whether she is a man, a woman, or something in between.  Imagine a generation of Amazons sired by the fabled Warrior Princess.” 

 

Varia now waited for her words to sink in.  At first there was a confused hush then the implications of what Varia was proposing struck the assembled elders.  The assembly started to excitedly discuss what this would mean to the nation.  The prospect of having a warrior stud in their midst never occurred to the Amazons before but now fate had presented them with a unique opportunity.

 

One of elders rose to question Varia.  “I assume you are proposing to have Xena impregnate the fertile women of the village?”

 

Varia slowly nodded her head.

 

“That’s quite a task – there must be at least forty women of child bearing years in the village right now. ”

 

Varia shrugged, “Well she is Xena.  I’m sure she is up to the task.”

 

Another elder rose.  “Perhaps.  But she hasn’t been successful with Gabrielle as of yet.”  She looked to Ife. “You haven’t heard anything to the contrary, have you?”

 

Ife gulped. “No but … but they are working on it as we speak.  This may be moot by morning.  Besides Xena is enchanted.  Aphrodite wanted her and Gabrielle to have a child – not Xena and every Amazon in the tribe.”  Ife could feel things getting out of hand.  Her friends were about to be put in a very awkward position by Varia.

 

Kaytal now leapt to her feet.  “Exactly.  We have no idea what safeguards Aphrodite put in place.  This is insanity to think we could use Aphrodite’s blessing for our own purposes.”  

 

Varia eyed Kaytal calmly.  “Perhaps but we will never know unless we try.  As far as we know Xena is fully functional.  Her failure with Gabrielle is undoubtedly the queen’s fault.  I, for one, have always wondered if the queen was woman enough for Xena.”  The assembly shifted nervously at these words.  Although they liked Gabrielle many of the assembly had their doubts about their queen’s ability to satisfy the woman who had been notorious for her carnal appetite. 

 

Matilda now rose.  She wasn’t going to stand for anyone insulting the little queen.  “Watch your mouth Varia!  I’ll have you know that many a time my girls have stood guard outside the queen’s hut and they told me that little woman made Xena yell her head off.”  Satisfied that she had defended Gabrielle’s honor, the large woman abruptly sat down.  For years afterwards she would wonder why everyone got so deathly quiet after her pronouncement.

 

Cyane now rose.  After giving Matilda a slightly stunned look she asked Varia a question everyone else forgot to ask.  “Varia what makes you think Xena will go along with your little plan?”

 

“Why wouldn’t she?” Varia asked with a smirk.  She turned and faced her sisters.  “Let’s face it.  We Amazon’s talk a lot about having the “Amazon way” with men but really do any of us…” she then spied Matilda, “...ah, I mean, do most of us need to force any man to be with us?   Men find us most desirable, why wouldn’t Xena?” 

 

“Because she loves Gabrielle.”  Cyane said succinctly.  The queen faced Varia.  “Xena has lived among us for a long time and she has never shown the slightest interest in anyone except Gabrielle.  As Matilda graphically pointed out, Gabrielle seems to satisfy her in every way.  Do you really think Xena is going to betray a woman she has died with and came back from the dead for?”  Cyane then gave Varia a sly look, “Even if you offered yourself up to her on a silver platter.”

 

Varia took a step towards the queen.  “What are you implying? ” She asked tightly.

 

“Varia I know you aren’t the brightest Amazon in this hut, but even you should figure out what I meant.  You want to get into Xena’s pants.  You always had a thing for her and it galls you that she only thought of you as some kid.   Don’t tell me that you haven’t been imagining yourself as the mother of Xena’s child.”  Cyane looked at Varia with a touch of amused pity.

 

Varia drew herself up.  “Yes I do see myself as the perfect mother of Xena’s child.  No one here can dispute my abilities as a warrior.  Who better to raise a child to be a great warrior than me?”  Varia let her eyes sweep the room.  “My child will lead the Amazons to greatness, especially if she has an army of Xena’s offspring to lead.”

 

The council chamber now grew quiet again.  Suddenly what seemed like a passably good idea now began to look down right dangerous.  Varia apparently had ideas that went far beyond protecting the nation.  This was her bid for power.  The council didn’t like it but the idea of a generation of super Amazon warriors was appealing. 

 

While many of the elders seemed mesmerized by the idea of this new Amazon army, Matilda was disgusted.  “Varia are you just plain nuts?  Do you really think any Amazon mother is going to let you use her kid as catapult fodder just so that you can be the big power in Greece?”   Matilda now looked Varia in the eye.  “I’d kill any one who would sacrifice my kids for their own power and I doubt if Xena would feel any different.  I can’t see her being your stud.”

 

“Besides,” Kaytal now spoke up, “I can’t see Gabrielle accepting the idea of Xena providing her…uhm…services to the whole Amazon nation.  You seem to have forgotten adultery is against the law and you’re proposing that Xena should commit that crime on a grand scale.”

 

“It’s not a crime if the spouse of the supposed adulterer gives her permission.   Tell Gabrielle that if Xena becomes our stud she can stay our little queen emeritus and she will jump at the chance.”  Varia said slyly.  “I think the time has come for the council to decide.  Should we allow this golden opportunity to pass us by because of outdated prejudices toward a particular piece of anatomy that has attached itself to an unsuspecting member of our society?  Or shall we overcome this prejudice and embrace our new member with enthusiasm and become better for it?  I call for a vote on the resolution that we make Xena, consort to the former queen, official stud of the Amazons in order to ensure the prosperity and the power of the Amazon nation for generations to come.”  Varia finished her statement with a mighty thrust of her fist into the air.  The reception to her dramatic statement was met with enthusiasm by about half of the chamber while the rest looked decidedly uncomfortable.

 

Cyane sat back on her throne and eyed Varia with distaste.  Her contempt for the former queen and her brazen attempt to steal both Xena and power was, to Cyane, both appalling and ludicrous.    She was however worried that many in the council would find the vision of an army of little Xenas dashing about the countryside thrashing Amazon enemies too appealing to be ignored.  If they passed a resolution and demanded that Xena act as the official Amazon stud she was afraid to imagine what Xena and Gabrielle’s reaction would be.  She had visions of a badly battered council when the couple got the news.  At the very least the warrior and her bard would pack their bags and that damn little desk and get the hell out of the village.  They were valuable assets to the nation, and her good friends.  She had to stop the council from making a horrible mistake. 

 

Cyane was about to make her objections known when Kaytal rose from her seat.  “Varia has made a compelling argument for her vision of a new role for Xena in our nation.”  The council was astonished at Kaytal’s words.  They knew that the philosopher and teacher had little use for Varia and often spoke about the need for the nation to follow a more peaceful path.  Kaytal continued, “But we should not be hasty about passing any resolution.  After all we can’t compel Xena to …uh…perform on demand.  It might be more productive if someone approached Xena privately about this … project.  If she is amenable there would be no need for a resolution and if she isn’t then we are saved the embarrassment of passing a resolution we can’t enforce.  I propose we send Varia to offer Xena her new position in the Amazon nation.”

 

Varia hastily addressed the council.  “I don’t know if I am the one who should approach Xena.  After all such an important and delicate matter should be handled by...our queen, Cyane,” Varia finished brightly.

 

Cyane sat back on her throne and crossed her arms.  “No, I don’t think I have the necessary tact for this little job.  Varia it’s your idea, you should talk to Xena.  You’re not afraid of her reaction to your proposal, are you?  We could send…” Cyane now scanned the room and saw a decidedly grumpy Matilda staring at Varia, “Matilda along to back you up.  I’m sure she would be happy to lend you a hand in this endeavor.  What do you say?” Cyane asked with a grin.

 

“Huh,” a startled Matilda grunted. “I don’t want to be part of this.” Matilda almost whined.

 

“Oh sure you do.  I think you would be the perfect person to report Xena’s reaction to Varia’s plan.  I’m sure you would make sure Varia explains her novel idea to the queen’s consort and champion.”  Cyane gave the large woman a little wink.

 

“Huh,” the obtuse woman answered.

 

“Oh gods,” Kaytal muttered.  “Matilda you would be a perfect witness to the historic meeting between Varia and Xena.”

 

Matilda still looked confused.  Kaytal sighed and then leaned over to her friend and whispered, “You’ll get to see Xena beat the crap out of Varia.”

 

“Oh,” Matilda said gleefully.  “Yes.   I’ll make sure Xena understands Varia’s proposal and I’ll make equally sure Varia gets full credit for it.”

 

“Varia I suggest you talk to Xena first thing in the morning,” Cyane said quickly.  All in favor of sending Varia as an emissary to Xena say yea.” A chorus of yeas rang out. “Opposed – nay.” Nothing was heard except for a small squeak that may have come from Varia.  “The yeas have it.”  Cyane pronounced and turning to Varia, she clamped her on the shoulder, “Tomorrow you have the honor and pleasure of telling Xena that you have decided that she should become the nation’s stud.  Now be sure to tell her that you will be her first …” Cyane winkled her brow, “…. brood Amazon?”  Cyane now smiled at the perturbed Amazons who were a little disturbed at the term ‘brood Amazon’ and then announced “Meeting is adorned.”

 

 

 

Gabrielle was staring thoughtfully at the front door when Xena emerged from the bathing room.  “What’s that?”  Xena said pointing to the note in her mate’s hand.

 

“It’s an invitation from Mavis.  She and Celia have invited us to dinner tonight.  She writes that she wants to discuss something important with us.  Do you think she and Celia want me to preside over a joining ceremony?”  Gabrielle asked as she turned from the door.  All thoughts of the young woman’s letter fled when she saw Xena wet and naked.  Hum, I wonder if we have time for a quickie.  Gabrielle frowned for that last couple of days all she could think about was sex and that was odd.  Now she never was shy about sex but she was becoming abnormally oversexed, or so she thought.

 

Xena saw the gleam in the bard’s eye and the pensive frown.  Xena went over to the bard and gave her a lingering kiss, “Can’t now, I have to get going.  I’m teaching the girls chobo techniques this morning.” 

 

Gabrielle gave her partner a startled look.  “Did you read my mind – rather, my perverted mind?  You know lately all I want to do is make love with you.  Doesn’t that bother you?”

 

“Frankly, no.  I’m enjoying it.”  Xena said with a rakish smile.  “I like to think you find me irresistible.”

 

“Xena this isn’t normal, is it?” Gabrielle waited for Xena’s reassurance.

 

“Well you have been a bit more randy than usual but considering all we’ve talked about for the last month has been sex, I don’t think it’s that odd.  Anyway now that we have relaxed and you’re used to ole’ Herb, I think you’re just enjoying yourself more.  Also you want that baby and your hormones are kicking in.”  Xena quickly dressed as she reassured her bard. 

 

“I don’t know Xena.”  Gabrielle looked around and whispered, “It feels like I’m in heat or at least what I think being in heat is like.  I mean, I wouldn’t know, would I – not being a cat or … whatever.  Gabrielle trailed off realizing she was babbling in embarrassment.

 

Xena regarded Gabrielle seriously.  She took the bard by the hand and led her to the window and studied her eyes.  “Oh my, Gabrielle.  It looks like you are right.  Things aren’t right.  I fear you're suffering from the effects of the frog spit.”

 

‘“What?” Gabrielle exclaimed in alarm.

 

“Yep you know frogs are very oversexed and now you’re sexy like a frog,” Xena finished with a toothy grin.  Before Gabrielle could stop sputtering Xena made a hasty retreat from the hut.

 

 

Xena was in a happy frame of mind as she set off for the practice filed.  She was whistling that odd little tune that always meant she was happy.  I wish I could remember where I heard that.  She loved the fact that she could be silly with Gabrielle and when she caught the bard off guard with some little joke, it always made her day.  Her happiness was cut short when she saw Varia approaching her. “Crap,” Xena muttered. Gods that woman can kill a good mood.

 

“Xena!” Varia called out to the warrior.  “Matilda and I have something important to talk to you about,” Varia announced as they approached Xena.

 

“It’ll have to wait, Varia.  I have a class to teach and then I’m going out to check the outposts.  Maybe this evening – no wait, I'm busy tonight.  Tomorrow.”  Xena tried to brush pass the woman. 

 

Varia grabbed Xena’s arm, which stilled the warrior.  Xena gave the younger woman a cold look and Varia wisely let go of Xena.  “Xena this is council business. Matilda and I have been ordered to talk to you.”  Xena raised an eyebrow and looked questioningly at Matilda.

 

“Actually Varia has been sent to talk to you.  I’m just here to watch,” Matilda said cryptically.

 

Xena was puzzled.  Varia looked nervous and Matilda looked like Gabrielle did whenever they attended a new play - full of excited anticipation. “Ok,” Xena said slowly.  “Talk but make it quick.”

 

Varia cleared her throat. “As you know Xena your time with the Amazons is running out.  You and Gabrielle have not conceived a baby and soon, in fact in three days, you will be forced to leave the nation.  This has been of great concern to the council but…”

 

“This ain’t quick,” Xena said sharply.  Gods did the whole nation have nothing better to do than worry about our sex life.

 

“Xena has anybody told you that you are rude.” Varia had neither tact nor good sense but she did have a bad temper and Xena’s obvious contempt for her was irritating.

 

“Yeah lots of people, but they’re dead now.  Want to join them?”  Xena said with just a hint of menace.

 

“Xena please don’t kill Varia now.  Wait till you hear her out.”  Matilda pleaded.  Both Varia and Xena gave the older woman an odd look.  Matilda looked a like a child who was told she might miss the circus.

 

“Varia get on with it,” Matilda ordered the young woman.

 

“Xena I have come up with a way for you and Gabrielle to stay in the village.  All you have to do is agree to father a generation of Amazon warriors.”  Varia now stepped back and looked expectantly at Xena.  Whatever reaction she expected she wasn’t prepared for the one she got.

 

Xena started to laugh.  Not just a little laugh of contempt but a full out belly laugh.  “Gods Varia, I never took you for a joker but damn it you got one hell of a sense of humor.”

 

Varia’s temper got the better of her.  “I’m serious.  If you want to stay you better listen to my proposal.”

 

“I don’t give a rat’s ass about your proposal and if Gabrielle and I have to go then we go.  Now get out of my way.”  Xena again tried to walk away but Varia stepped in her way.

 

“Xena think of the power you would have; the father of a generation of warriors who would make the Amazons rulers of Greece and at their head our daughter.    Our daughter, think of that – sired by two great warriors.  I’m a fifth generation Amazon – with my linage and your dark power we would be the natural leaders of the Amazons.  We would rule the nation through her.”  Varia’s eyes fairly sparkled in anticipation of the bright future she envisioned for her and Xena.

 

Xena on the other hand had grown cold and leaned in close to Varia.  “The child I will father will be with Gabrielle.  Our daughter, if we have one, will be anything she wants to be but the one thing she will never be is your pawn.”

 

Varia stepped back and gave Xena a calculating look.  “Are you sure Gabrielle will feel the same way?  This is the only way she can stay here.  I’m sure she would be more than willing to sacrifice a little of your time so she could stay here and be our beloved queen.  She’ll trade your fidelity for power in a moment. After all, Xena, you have always been her ticket to power in this tribe.  She would do anything to keep what she has here.”

 

“You’re wrong, Varia” a quiet voice interjected.  Everyone turned to see Gabrielle standing at the edge of the clearing.  “Xena is not negotiable.  I know what I owe her and it’s not power or glory but a loving home, and hopefully, a child who will love her for the good person she is. So Varia get away from her or I’ll make you wish you never were born.”

 

Now it was Varia’s turn to laugh.  “Are you threatening me?” she asked incredulously.  “Gabrielle, I kicked your ass once and I’ll do it again.  You’re a pathetic excuse for a warrior and a queen.”

 

Matilda was about to intervene when she was startled to hear Xena begin to growl.  Once as a girl she had barely escaped a rabid wolf and she would never forget that sound and now forty years later she heard that same sound again from Xena.  What surprised her most was that Gabrielle gentled her furious mate with just a touch on her back.

 

Varia however was oblivious to the danger she was in.  “You will never be enough woman for Xena.  I am.”  Varia puffed out her chest.  “With Xena by my side I will….” Varia never finished her sentence.  Instead she hit the ground with a violent thud.

 

Everyone turned and looked at Gabrielle who had whacked Varia smartly on the head with a chobo.  Gabrielle stared dispassionately at the unconscious woman. 

 

“Well! That was unexpected,” Matilda expressed with subdued glee. 

 

“She’s right you know.”  Gabrielle sighed

 

Xena looked at her wife.  “Gabrielle what are you talking about?  You know you will be the only person for me.”

 

Gabrielle waved her hand at Xena.  “Oh I know that.  She was right about kicking my ass.  I’m not an idiot Xena.  I just decided on a pre-emptive strike.”

 

Xena was impressed.  “Excellent strategy.  Effective, forceful, and certainly got the job done.”

 

Gabrielle nodded but then frowned.  “I didn’t kill her, did I?”

 

Matilda nudged Varia with her foot and the woman groaned.  “Nah, head’s too hard, but I guess we should get her to the healer.”  Noticing Celia and Mavis standing spell bound in the bushes she waived them over.  “You two get over here and help carry her over to Ife’s.  Xena, you better take Gabrielle home.  She’s looking a little green.”

 

Xena eyed Gabrielle with concern.  She didn’t look good.  Oh hell, every time she beats up some slob she gets all guilty and remorseful.  I better get her home and take care of her damn conscience.  “Come on Gabrielle, we’re going home.”

 

Gabrielle was still staring at the downed woman but when Xena spoke she finally looked up.  “But you have a class to teach.”

 

“The girls can have a holiday today.  Tomorrow I’ll let you demonstrate chobo techniques.”  Xena teased gently.  Matilda snickered and even Gabrielle gave Xena a wan smile.  Xena then took Gabrielle by the hand and lead her back to their hut.

 

 

Continued - Part 4

 

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