Copyright: This story is copyrighted to the author © November 1999 by Revan. Do not use any part of this story without my written permission. Contact: Revan3@hotmail.com

Disclaimers: See Part 1 for standard disclaimers.

"...and I was present for the entire procedure."

Dana finished the dictation and hung up the phone, her mind already moving on to the next problem. First, a shower--after six hours in the OR, she needed a change of clothes.

She was about to get up and head out of the bustling Recovery Room when Bob Callahan took the chair next to hers. He smiled hello and was picking up the receiver to begin his own dictation when one of the hundred or so things on Dana’s list clicked into place.

"Hey Bob--can I ask you a favor?"

The senior resident’s eyebrows lifted. "Sure...what’s up?"

"I’m going out of town until after the New Year--if you’ll be around, could I sign out my beeper to you? There’s nothing active--I’m passing my inpatients to Henry, but I don’t want him to have to cover my clinic, too."

Bob nodded, "No problem, I’ll be here." He looked at her speculatively. "Where’ll you be?"

Dana scribbled on a progress note page and slid the sheet over to him. "Here’s the number for my parent’s hotel in Colorado. I’m interviewing at the University Hospital in Denver, then spending the holidays with my folks."

Bob’s jaw dropped. "Interviewing? As in...leaving? Are you out of your mind?"

"Hey, I need a job when this fellowship ends, remember? And my folks live in the mountains; I’d love to go back to Denver."

Her friend’s brow furrowed. "OK, what’s this really about, Dana? You know there’s no way the old white guys around here will let you go."

"I’m not so optimistic," Dana replied, honestly. "I haven’t exactly kissed ass around here, you know what I mean?"

Bob shook his head. "Everyone knows you’re the best thing to come to this place since...since..." he searched for an analogy. "Since anesthesia."

Dana snorted, but her friend ignored her, continuing, "So, what are you running from?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Blue eyes bored through the curly-haired surgeon.

"Oh, come on, Dana--something’s been up with you lately, and even if you’ve been able to hide it from everyone else, I can see it."

"I’m just looking for a job."

"Yeah, right." Bob steepled his fingers. "You used to be the staff member who required the least amount of Thorazine. Now I’m starting to get worried about you." He leaned closer and lowered his voice. "If I ever find the guy that hurt you like this, he’s gonna wish he was someplace else."

"Huh?" Dana looked at him, dumbfounded.

"Come on, Dana, you think I haven’t noticed that you’ve been off ever since that night you asked me to cover for you?" Bob shook his head. "I don’t like seeing my friends get torn up, that’s all."

Disbelieving, Dana found herself looking at the senior resident in a new light. "Well, thanks for the sentiment, Bob...I really mean that."

She hesitated. An unnamed need drove her to tell him the truth.

"But you’re way off base. It wasn’t her fault...she’s a really good person. I was the one who screwed it all up."

Silence.

Bob’s face twitched. "Well...well."

"You got a problem with that?" Dana looked at him, stony-faced. Shit. Guess I guessed wrong about Bob.

"Yeah...yeah, I do." Bob drummed his fingers on the desk. "I don’t get it. If she’s such a good person--and I know you’re an incredible person--why haven’t you worked it out?"

Dana was now at a complete loss for words. OK... Bob didn’t have a major problem with her being gay. So where was the rest of this coming from?

"I think there’s just too much for her to forgive," she finally admitted.

Bob paused. "Well, if you’ll excuse my saying so, it seems to me that anyone who falls in love with you is probably someone who realizes they’ll have to do a lot of forgiving, you know?"

"Gee, thanks." Dana was getting angry. "And I don’t think we’re talking about love here."

Bob shrugged. "No problem. But I think we’re definitely talking love here."

Dana glared, now furious. "You’re out of line, Dr. Callaghan."

"Am I?" Bob raised an eyebrow. "Better stop while I’m ahead, then. But...I’m happy to cover." He picked up the telephone number. "And think about that forgiveness thing." He got up and wandered off to the chart rack.

Dana stared at him, both puzzled and embarrassed. What the fuck was all that about? Maybe... She shook her head, and the beginnings of the thought were lost as she turned to the hectic details of her usual day.

******

The channels flipped by, the colors blurring as she pressed the remote. So, the programming in Denver sucks as much as it does in Boston. Why should that be a surprise?

Dana sighed as she sat down on the bed. She wrenched off her shoes and threw them across the room, vaguely satisfied by the thud they made as they hit the wall. Damn heels. I hate this interview garbage.

It was a good two days, though. She sorted through her impressions, not yet so tired that her mind wasn’t in its usual analytical mode. The department’s OK...I really liked their new chairman. He seems like a good guy. And the facilities are great.

Clearly, they were salivating at the chance to get her to sign on. They need me...what do they have, just that one woman, the burn surgeon? They’re desperate for diversity. She laughed at the thought. I’d be giving them a lot more diversity than they counted on.

She went to the window and looked out at the view from her hotel room. At least they took me to a great restaurant tonight...that steak was perfect. And so was the Scotch... She stopped, shaking her head. I’m...insane.

Across the way was a large billboard advertising an upcoming gun show at the Convention Center. I keep forgetting how conservative it is out here...Boston’s really far more liberal. I’ve been comfortable there.

She undressed and got into bed, remote in hand. There’s got to be something on. She continued to surf. Great...looks like a choice between Bay Watch and that alligator guy. Fuck. Where’s the damn TV Guide?

She found a doctor show, and watched it for a moment. And this is the one that even has the Harvard med graduates as their advisors...it still sucks. They should hire me; I’d show them what really happens in an EW. I could play the alpha bitch lesbian surgeon role...wouldn’t even be a stretch.

What’s this? A spaceship flew by. Oh...one of the Star Trek spin-offs. She watched for a bit. Oh yeah...I’ve seen this show. There’s the captain...the one who is always yelling "Report!" God, look at her school marm haircut...she looks really repressed. I bet she’s just deeply closeted...probably would be an animal if she wasn’t so frigid.

This was getting interesting. Dana settled back into the mattress, pulling up the covers. Oh, wow...I like the one in the Saran Wrap. Fine outfit. She noticed the look that the captain gave Saran Wrap. Definitely interesting...I think something’s going on there. She started to pay attention. Reminds me of that show that Bryn says she likes to watch...what’s it called? Huh...If I hadn’t been doing medicine for the last decade, I might know something about modern pop culture.

I wonder if Bryn knows about the captain? It would be fun to ask her. She didn’t let herself pursue that thought. The show had changed to another subplot, and, losing interest, Dana turned off the lights and went to sleep.

******

The next morning found Dana in a rented SUV, heading up the snowy interstate towards Aspen. Home. The drive was so familiar, she almost had to force herself to appreciate the scenery. How many times have I driven this way? Dozens? Hundreds?

I couldn’t wait to get away...now I’m thinking about coming back? She grimaced, remembering. After Sara...died...all I did was study. It wouldn’t have mattered where I was living. And then I did well enough that I had my choice of residencies...so I went as far away as possible.

Could I live here again? She rolled the idea around in her head. Interviewing at the University hospital had been an eye-opener; not only had the facilities changed dramatically since she had been a medical student, but the view of the place from a faculty position was also vastly different. It wouldn’t seem like the same place. And Denver’s changed a lot, too.

The mountains will be the same; that’s good. That was the big draw for her. She had wanted to escape the memories after the accident, but she still loved being in the high country. And it would be good to spend more time with my folks.

She was looking forward to seeing her parents and brother. I wonder what Joseph is up to? They should be having a baby soon...it would stop Mom from giving me all those looks. She sighed. At least her family had learned, long ago, to stop asking if she was seeing somebody, or was bringing someone home for the vacation. That’s a relief.

I’m looking forward to this break...I need it. A few nights of real sleep would be good. They’ll give me the Hillside Cabin again...that’ll be nice. She looked at the mountains, rising in front of her. The job’s not an issue. I’ll wait and see if they make me an offer first...I don’t have to think about it now.

Maybe with some rest...she’d be able to start thinking about her real problem.

*****

Dana looked down at her tray, content. Hot chocolate and apple fritters; what could be bad? She scanned the crowded lodge, filled with the noise and bustle of skiiers looking for some rest, and food, and bathrooms. Over there. She clumped towards an empty table near the window, sitting down and loosening her boots.

She looked over to the nearby lift. I like that new quad...it was smart to put one in here. There was hardly any line. Not that she had to wait in line; she was wearing her old Ski Patrol jacket. Connections. She wiggled her toes. I’m out of shape...the snow’s so good, but I’m not going to be able to do much more. Sara would be yelling at me.

I remember... She glanced out the window. It had been late August, and she and Sara had taken the old lift up to this part of the mountain, hiking around the ski trails, looking for a good place to have a picnic.

Dana leaned back in the grass, closing her eyes, enjoying her full stomach, the warm summer sun in her face. "That was good."

There was a short silence, then Sara cleared her throat. "I wish you didn’t have to go back."

Dana nodded, her eyes still closed. "Yeah...me too." She hummed, softly. She knew it drove Sara crazy when she hummed.

"Stop that." The tall blond sounded annoyed. "Why are you going back, anyway?"

"Huh?" Dana sat up, worried. What’s up? "Well...because school starts again, next week. That’s why."

"Don’t be so condescending..." Sara was almost angry. "It’s just that...I wish you weren’t going to college."

Dana’s eyes widened. I’ve never heard this before. "Sara...what’s bothering you? You know I’ll be home as much as I can...and it’s just two more years."

"It’s not that." Dana could see her lover struggling, looking for the right words. "I can see you changing...sometimes I don’t know what to do about it."

"What? I’m not changing...what are you talking about?"

"Sweetheart, maybe you can’t see it, but..." Sara stopped, grinning ruefully. "You know, this is all just my own insecurity..."

"I don’t like the way this sounds." The younger woman was panicking.

"No, listen." Dana’s arm was held in a strong hand. "What are you going to do with your biology degree, anyway? I just don’t see you coming back here and opening that bike shop anymore, you know? I have this picture of you as some overeducated academic type...who’d be a lot more interested in some babe who can speak her language, rather than in an old ski bum, who barely made it out of high school...skin weathered, muscles getting flabby...you know." She tilted her head and produced a small grin.

"Sara...you make it sound like you can’t be smart if you don’t go to college. For god’s sake...look at my father." She scowled at the blond. Her father was the most intelligent person she knew. His education had come from flying helicopters in Vietnam.

Her partner nodded. She knew Mr. Sanders well. "Well, I’ll have to give you that one. I’m just really going to miss you, you know? I don’t feel...right...without you."

Dana stilled. She understood. "I love you, Sara...and I know that we’ll continue to grow, and change...but we’re going to grow together."

Sara laughed. "Yeah...you’re going to need me to keep you in line."

"Oh, right." Dana raised her eyebrows. "Well, you’ll just have to make sure that I don’t turn into a stuck-up bitch, and I’ll make sure you don’t get into too many bar fights, OK?"

Sara made an obscene sound. "You’ll never let me forget that one, will you? That was years ago."

Dana grinned. "It was...memorable. And...it was the first time I knew that you really liked me...when you slugged that guy because he was bothering me." She glanced over at her lover, and moving swiftly, unbalanced her, pushing her onto her back. She leaned close, her hands pressing on Sara’s shoulders. "I want to make this day memorable, too."

Dana sighed, and glumly regarded her snack. The hot chocolate was now cold, and the apple fritter was soggy. She ate it anyway. I always was a sucker for these things. She shifted in her chair, looking out the window at the activity on the slope. I forgot how crowded it gets during the holidays; it was practically empty up here that summer.

Her mind replayed Sara’s words. So she was right, as usual...here I am, twelve years later, an overeducated bitch, who’s fallen for a conservative east coast academic babe. Well, maybe not so conservative...except for her clothes.

And what would Bryn make of Sara? Dana winced at the thought. She wouldn’t know what to do with her...Sara would never have looked at a novel unless it was assigned in school, and even that wasn’t a guarantee. And she hated analyzing people, and their motivations...the things she said on the hike that day must’ve taken a real effort. She never would have let someone like Bryn get close enough to realize how smart Sara was, and how funny...

Bryn would’ve known what to do with her in one respect, though... Dana bit back a groan. Better not go there.

Suddenly, something Bryn had said during that last fight, in November, came into focus. Whoever you are now, you’re not the person that Sara loved, that’s for sure. For the first time, Dana was able to analyze the line without cringing. OK, it’s not what Bryn meant, but that’s exactly what Sara was saying. We didn’t get to grow together...and now I really am different. Because of how much I changed during college, and medical school, and this damn surgical residency...and because I lost her, and suffered, and withdrew...

Sara really was right. Dana felt a chill run through her at the revelation. If I were to meet her now, what would I think? Voicing the thought was torture, only surpassed by the pain as she forced herself to follow the thread, examining the possibility of utter betrayal. Would I love her now? She let the feelings pass through her, sorting them, facing them, then finally allowing them to carry her to the truth. Yes...yes. The connection was just too deep.

******

This is getting to be familiar. Bryn turned the glass of champagne in one hand and felt the granite countertop with the other. I guess I have to get drunk in Holly’s kitchen at least once every six months.

She looked out into the living room, taking in the sight of the clusters of people, the decorated tree and the fire in the fireplace. How does she manage to throw these parties? I’d never have the knack.

The hostess was heading her way. "There you are...I’ve been looking for you. I thought I might find you in here. Want a refill?"

"Yeah, thanks." Bryn held out her glass, watching the bubbles rise. "Great party."

"Thanks." The older woman looked back into the living room. "None of the kids have fallen into the fireplace yet, so that’s a plus."

"I can’t believe you put the presents out under the tree before Christmas morning." The blond pointed to the pile. "Don’t the kids go nuts seeing them there?"

"Nah, they know they’d be dead meat if they touch them." Holly grinned. "Those are just from the relatives, anyway. Santa’s stuff shows up when they’re asleep. It’s what my parents always did. What about yours?"

"Ah..." The doctor went still. "I don’t want to go there, Holly."

Her friend sighed. "Sorry." OK, I’ve already got her on edge. Might as well continue. "Did you call her yet?"

Bryn let out a breath, but didn’t answer.

Holly tried another tack. "I told you I’d give you fifteen days...not fifteen years."

She got a glare for her trouble. "It was eighteen years."

Holly shrugged. "Whatever."

The two friends sat, quietly sipping their drinks. To the older woman’s surprise, it was Bryn who finally broke the silence.

"I’m still in love with her, Hol. Do you think that’s nuts?"

Holly considered her next words carefully. "No...but it could be dangerous." She faced her friend, meeting the swirl of the green eyes. "From what you told me, maybe she doesn’t need a lover right now. But I’d bet she needs a friend."

Bryn flinched, her eyes clouding. "I don’t think that’s enough for me anymore."

"Well...are you willing to give her a second chance?"

"Ah...." The blond was silent for a long moment. "Merry Christmas, Hol."

Holly smiled, wistful. "Merry Christmas, Bryn."

******

Bryn paced around the empty lab. Everyone was gone for the holidays, and she had used the solitude to make some strides on her lastest NIH grant revision.

She looked for the hundreth time at the telephone.

Suddenly, she found herself sitting at the computer, logging into the hospital’s directory, calling up Dana’s pager number. Her eyes scanned for the status.

Calls being taken by beeper number 97462.

Her need became overwhelming. She knew that she had to see Dana. This can’t wait any longer. She picked up the phone, entered the beeper number, then dialed in her call back number. She sat at her desk, her heart pounding, too unsettled to do anything but stare at the receiver.

When it rang, she jumped, then forced her voice into normalcy. "Hello?"

"Hello, this is Robert Callaghan, West Surg, answering my page," came back in familiar tones over the line.

"Whoa, hey Bob," replied Bryn in relief. "It’s Bryn Mallory." Now there was a break.

"Hey Bryn, what’s up? You on the consult service? I haven’t seen you around."

Bryn laughed. "No, thank god. Actually..." she took a deep breath, getting out the words, "I’m trying to get in touch with Dana Sanders. I understand she’s signed out to you?"

"Yeah, I got that honor. She won’t be back until January 3rd. Anything I can do for you?"

January 3rd? Another whole fucking week? Bryn’s heart sank, and she couldn’t keep the concern out of her voice. "Is everything OK with her?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line, which lengthened into silence.

"Bob? You still there?"

"Yeah...this feeble brain of mine was just putting two and two together and getting five."

"Huh?" Bryn was lost.

"To answer your question, no, she’s not all right. You have something to do with that?"

Bryn looked at the receiver, dumbfounded. Holy shit... "Where is she, Bob?"

She heard him sigh. "You know, I’m really out on a limb here, right? But...here’s the number." He read off the telephone number that Dana had given him. "It’s for the hotel that her family owns in Aspen. She went out to Denver to interview for a position at University Hospital and then was going to stay with her family through New Year’s."

Bryn’s heart lurched, and her head began to ache. "She’s...looking at a job in Denver?"

"Yeah, that’s what I said to her, and in the same tone, too." There was another long pause. "Well...say hi to her for me when you get out there, and don’t let her kill me for giving you the info, OK?"

"Even after all these years, you still know me too well, Bob." Bryn couldn’t help laughing.

"Not as well as I thought," he shot back wryly. "Good luck."

They both knew that left unsaid was the "You’ll need it."

******

A call to the hospital’s travel office and a fast ride home found Bryn at Logan Airport four hours later, waiting for the 3 p.m. United flight to Denver to board.

So, what had she actually packed? She really couldn’t recall... A change of jeans and her snowpants, ski gloves, and goggles. At least she’d get in a day of skiing. How many years had it been? Seven? Ten?

She stopped trying to get her brain to work and remained in a disordered haze as she found her seat and suffered through takeoff. Jesus, the older I get, the more the bumps bother me. Guess it’s just as well I didn’t join the astronaut corps.

What the fuck am I doing? Her mind kept circling back to the same question. Man, stop thinking that. It’s not helping, and you don’t have any answer. Whatever will be, will be.

She winced. Now she sounded like her mother. Christ.

She pulled the airplane chicken into little pieces with her fork, then gave up. She scanned the science fiction novel that she had bought at Logan, amazed by how poorly written it was. I could do better. Sure, with all my free time. She tossed it back into her bag, then closed her eyes.

She looked out the window to see that the Rockies were visible, a towering wall topped with clouds rising out of the prairie. And I used to love seeing that. She sighed. Keep thinking about how much fun the skiing will be.

She had been in the new Denver airport several times in the past, on her way to conferences on the west coast. Usually she enjoyed the stunning architecture and the Western motif. Her eye caught one Western shop. Admit it, you like the leather. Maybe you should buy a pair of those tooled cowboy boots for kicking her butt...again.

Depressed, she made her way to the commuter prop plane that would take her the last leg over the front range to the Aspen airport.

Bryn didn’t have much of a chance to dwell on the upcoming confrontation during the flight into the mountains, as the turbulence left her white-faced and white-knuckled as she held on to the seat’s arms through what seemed like an endless series of rises and drops. She glared at the too-cheerful pilots and flight attendants on the way off the plane. Heartless bastards.

It was almost ten o’clock when the airport shuttle dropped her in front of the Tyrolean Hotel. Nice, she thought, registering the alpine design. Under other circumstances, this would be...very nice.

The young man at the front desk looked politely surprised as she approached.

"May I help you?" He was a little flustered. "Do you have a reservation? We’re...all full."

Bryn shook her head. "No, I’m not staying." Huh. "Actually, I’m looking for Dana Sanders. Do you know where I could find her?"

The young man nodded. "Dr. Sanders is staying in the Hillside Cabin...but I saw her go into the lounge...over there," he pointed across the lobby "...an hour or so ago."

"Thanks." Bryn picked up her bag as the desk clerk had already turned, helping another guest.

She paused at the doorway to the large, dimly-lit room, scanning it quickly as she took in the fire, the high beamed ceiling, and the small groups of people.

There.

Her breath failed.

Dana was alone in a far corner of the room, stretched out in a large chair, turning a glass in her hands.

Bryn placed her bag on the floor and crossed the room silently. She slid into the large, soft chair that was parked next to Dana’s.

"I lied to you."

She looked over to find that the surgeon had frozen, her face suddenly as startlingly grey as that patient’s in the EW. Bryn’s heart was now pounding so hard that she began to feel lightheaded. She leaned back and closed her eyes, trying to keep herself together long enough to get out the next few words.

"I told you that I really liked you. That wasn’t the truth."

She stopped, her eyes filling with tears behind the closed lids.

Strong fingers wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I love you too," whispered Dana, conveying in those few words a lifetime of regret for the pain she had caused and her hopes for the future. "Please...don’t cry."

Bryn opened her eyes to find blue eyes glistening with tears. "Look who’s talking," she said softly. She noted with detached interest that her hands wouldn’t stop shaking.

Dana’s eyes followed hers. "Why are you here?"

The questions that Bryn had wanted answered no longer seemed relevant. Her words came back directly from the heart. "This was the only place I wanted to be."

Dana’s head shook slightly in disbelief. She covered the smaller woman’s hands with her own, then pulled Bryn to her feet.

Bryn felt lips brush hers, and her world tilted.

She caught her breath, as one detail made it though the haze. "Dana...are you drinking Scotch?"

The surgeon produced a sheepish smile. "It reminded me of you." She closed her eyes for a moment. Her throat worked, the words coming out with difficulty. "Please...come with me. There’s something I need to show you."

Bryn was far past the point of making any decisions. She followed numbly, stopping long enough to pick up her bag and not even protesting when Dana took it from her.

She didn’t even feel the cold when they made their way out of the warm lobby into the street, turned behind the hotel and walked down a private, snow-covered path toward a small cabin set among the pines.

Dana unlocked the heavy wooden door, banged her boots against the sill to knock off the snow, and stepped inside, holding the door open for Bryn. Bryn was surprised to find a beautifully-furnished room, filled with what was obviously hand-crafted furniture, with a fire flickering in a large fieldstone fireplace.

"What’s this?" she asked, motioning to the room. "Looks like...a movie set."

Dana dropped her bag and let out a breath. "The VIP cabin...my parents always insist that I stay here when I come home for a visit." She walked over to the fireplace and poked at a log.

Bryn waited a moment, but the surgeon didn’t move. She cleared her throat. "Uh...you said you wanted to show me something?"

Dana turned slowly, looking so beautiful in the firelight that Bryn could hardly breathe.

"No...I need to show you something." Blue eyes glinted in the fire. "You know...I’m not the best with words, Bryn." Suddenly, she had the smaller woman in her arms. "So...I need to show you just how much I love you."

Bryn felt her legs give way, and was grateful for Dana’s fierce embrace. The connection that she had glimpsed the year before in the EW ignited again, joining them.

"Show me," she whispered.

******

Bryn woke to find the first rays of light coming through the curtains and hands exploring her body. "Oh...what’s going on?"

Dana’s voice came back, muffled. "I’m still looking for that tatoo you mentioned."

Bryn groaned, though not from Dana’s words. "Don’t be an idiot...I’m an infectious disease doctor, do you think I’d let somebody put needles of unknown origin into my body?"

Dana paused. "Huh. Well, I couldn’t really say...you’ve made a habit of surprising me. I haven’t ever been able to predict what you were going to do."

"Really?" Bryn was now breathless. "Keep looking, then...maybe you’ll find something."

"Oh, I know I’ll find something..."

A long time later, sated for the moment, Dana ran her hands through Bryn’s hair. "You want to ski today?"

"Well, sure." Bryn frowned. "I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep up with you, though...I haven’t skiied in years."

"We’re not competing." Blue eyes were serious. "And it’s not like I’ve had a lot of chances to ski over the past few years, either."

"Right, Ms. fucking Olympic athlete." Bryn smiled and sat up. "Where can I get some gear?"

"We have tons of stuff in the shed...we’ll find something for you." Dana got up and starting rooting through her clothes. "Do you have things to wear?"

"Yeah...I brought my snow stuff." At Dana’s questioning gaze Bryn continued, "I thought I’d go skiing...no matter what happened." Her voice broke.

Dana had her in strong arms. "I’m glad you’re not skiing alone."

"Me too." Bryn wiped her eyes and managed a smile, startled by how quickly her anxiety had blossomed. So what’s going on, Dana? What are you thinking about...us? I need to know. She opened her mouth to ask. "So...uh...where’s breakfast?"

"Let’s go to the top of the mountain...they have these awesome apple fritters and the coffee’s OK." Dana looked over, puzzled. "You OK?"

"Yes...ah...." Bryn shrugged. "Yeah."

The ‘shed’ looked more like a warehouse to Bryn’s eye, with over fifty pairs of skis and boots. She put herself into Dana’s expert hands and was quickly outfitted with equipment of a higher quality than anything she’d ever used.

"I can see having a ski pro as a girlfriend has its advantages," she joked as they headed out, walking past a slew of trendy stores on their way to the lifts. She stopped, her words lancing through her. Is that what you are? A girlfriend? I want it to be more. Covering her hesitation, she looked around. "Wow." Her eyes lit on an outfit in one of the store windows.

"You a shopper?" Dana’s voice was wry.

"Sometimes..."

The surgeon laughed. "Why is it that I don’t think I’ll have to twist your arm too hard? I’ve seen the clothes you wear, remember?"

At the high speed quad they stopped to put on their skis, then Dana handed Bryn a lift pass to hang around her neck.

"Whoa--where’d this come from?" It was an annual pass.

"Just another one of those advantages." Dana grinned. "Like this." She plucked at her jacket, which finally registered with Bryn as belonging to the Ski Patrol.

"Well, don’t I feel safe. Just don’t take me into that deep stuff. I grew up in the East, remember?"

"That’s not skiing." Dana was dismissive.

"Oh, right."

"You’ll see." She led Bryn to the front of the line. "See why I wear this jacket?"

Bryn shook her head as they got onto the lift. "You’re unbelievable."

Dana wrapped her arms around her. "Thanks."

******

Well, thought Bryn, several hours and a few hot chocolate breaks later, Dana was right. This is the most incredible skiing I’ve ever done. Dana had been the perfect guide, starting them out on easier trails, then increasing the challenge as she saw what Bryn could do. God, this is fun.

They were down near the bottom of one of the bowls, where Dana had been teaching Bryn how to maneuver in the powder. That is, trying to teach me. I’ve spent most of the last hour on my ass. She looked back up to see Dana making textbook turns, flying down the mountain. Jesus...she’s awesome.

Dana circled around her and stopped alongside. "What’s up?"

"Just need to catch my breath...I keep forgetting how high up we are here." Bryn was really feeling the altitude.

Dana scanned the sky. "We should think about heading back, anyway; a storm is moving in." The snow was definitely coming down now. "Let’s take this lift to the top; the trail from there will get us back to the base lodge, OK?"

"Great." Bryn was ready to stop. Her leg muscles hadn’t recovered from six weeks in the cast. "I’m getting tired."

"I’ll follow you down...that way you can stop when you want to." They rode back up on the lift. The view of distant mountains was now gone, replaced by thickening white. "We’ll have a lot of new snow tomorrow. My folks will be happy; it’s good for business."

They got off back at the top, and Dana pointed out their trail. Bryn pushed off. It was a real challenge; the snow was making it hard to see and the bumps were almost invisible.

She cut hard on a mogul when suddenly the unthinkable happened.

Bryn was flying though the air, head over heels, a blur of body and skis.

She landed heavily, and lay motionless.

Dana’s heart stopped.

She heard a roaring in her ears and her vision darkened. The next thing she knew she was kneeling in the snow, gasping, trying not to lose consciousness.

Then she was on her feet, streaking down the slope, unaware of what her muscles were doing to get her to the body lying on the snow.

There was a stir, and moving powder, and Bryn was sitting up, letting out a string of expletives.

Dana took a deep breath, willing her heart to slow.

The realization hit hard.

Thank god, the goggles hid the tears that had formed. She took another breath. "You OK?"

"Yeah." Bryn sounded chagrined. "Hope that looked as impressive as it felt." She brushed the snow off her shoulders. "I think my leg isn’t quite up to snuff yet--it didn’t respond like I was expecting on that turn."

There was a silence, and Bryn looked up to see that Dana looked totally stricken. Her heart missed a beat.

"Whoa...hey...don’t do that. I’ve already forgiven you, remember?" She reached up and brushed some snow from the taller woman’s hat.

Dana managed a small smile. "Funny, that’s what Bob said," she got out, while realizing that Bryn was unaware of her true feelings. She thinks I’m upset at her reference to my six weeks of silence.

"Bob?"

"Callaghan...he said that anyone who got involved with me would have to be the forgiving type."

"That bastard..." Bryn let out a low whistle.

"What?" Dana was puzzled.

"He’s been setting us up...who do you think told me where to find you?"

Dana snorted. "Oh, will he be in trouble when I get back."

"Really?" Bryn brushed off more snow.

"Well...guess I should thank him, right? But it’ll blow my image." They both laughed.

Dana looked around. The snow was falling much more heavily now, and the visibility was quickly declining. "I’d say it’s past hot tub time, how about it?"

"Oh, yeah." Bryn let out an anticipatory sigh. "I’ll be feeling this tomorrow, that’s for sure."

"In that case, we’ll just spend the day in bed. Unless you have other plans...?"

"With that incentive...race you to the bottom." Bryn got ready to push off, then realized she couldn’t see more than a few yards in front of her. "Ah...Dana?"

"Yes?"

"Where’s the trail?" She gestured with her poles.

"Shit...it’s a whiteout." Dana peered down. "Look, I know these trails...we’ll go slow, you stay right behind me. If you start to lose me, just yell out, OK?"

"Uh...right." Bryn felt herself becoming anxious. It was like being completely blind. This is not good.

They skiied for a few minutes. Bryn’s leg was hurting more and more, not helped by her increasing fear and the constant jolts that she couldn’t avoid because she was unable to prepare for sudden changes in the slope. "Stop!"

Dana skidded and turned to face her. "What’s up?"

"Tired...I need a break." She was actually breathless from the tension. This was entirely outside her experience. Whiteness everywhere...around her, above her, below her, unable to differentiate sky from slope. "Fuck."

"Hey." Suddenly Dana was next to her, holding her. Safe. "It’s not much further...maybe another five minutes. Just keep thinking about that hot tub."

Grateful, Bryn leaned closer. Nothing but the snow and the sound of the wind...no other people, just her and Dana. This feels right.

"OK, I’m ready. Let’s do it." They set off again, into the featureless void.

After an eternity, the base lodge loomed into view and they skiied to the deck. Bryn bent down stiffly and unlocked her boots. She stood, trembling, as Dana came to a sharp stop in front of her, sending up a shower of crystals.

She was being held against Dana’s steady body. "Are you OK?"

Bryn took a deep breath. "I was scared."

Dana laughed. "You? You’re not scared of anything. You’re the bravest person I’ve ever met."

"I’ve never stopped being scared of you." The admission came out before Bryn realized it.

Dana pushed back her goggles and searched Bryn’s face. "That’s because you still don’t believe that I love you."

Bryn sucked in a breath. How had this conversation turned so serious, so fast? And isn’t she frighteningly perceptive.

"I do believe that Dana...." I really want to believe that. She touched the taller woman’s cheek, and smiled to take the sting out of her next words. "Even despite your questionable history where I’m concerned. You owe me a real big explanation, and soon, you know?" She paused, collecting herself. "It’s just that...I’m really frightened by how much I’m in love with you." And I need to know that you feel the same way.

The surgeon’s gloved hands tightened on her arms. "Say that again," Dana said fiercely.

"Ah...what?"

"That you love me. You’ve not said that before."

"I haven’t?" Bryn’s eyes started to fill with tears, and she wiped them away angrily. "Damn, I hate the way my tears freeze out here." She leaned closer. "I love you...more than you’ll ever know. So much that it hurts."

"But I do know." Dana shook a little, facing the truth. "I can’t believe I found you."

Bryn considered. "Thank Mrs. Fiorelli."

"Who?" Dana’s mind was visibly working, until Bryn saw her recall that very first patient. "Oh...yeah." She sighed. "That was a mess."

Bryn shook her head. "Hey...it’s OK. I’ll send a little thank-you to her in heaven. She always did want to jumpstart my lovelife."

Dana smiled ruefully, then laughed, breaking the spell. "You know, I’m no good at this heavy stuff, Bryn. How about we get outta here and you buy me a drink?"

"You’re better than you think," disagreed the blond, amazed at how much she had learned about her lover in the past three minutes. She shivered in the snow. "And you’re on."

******

They walked the few blocks from the slopes to the hotel. Bryn was so happy to have survived, she felt almost giddy.

"So, what’s the plan?" She looked up at her tall companion, who was easily balancing both pairs of skis on her shoulders.

Dana was all business. "Here..." she leaned the skis against a rack and fished the cabin key out of her parka. "Get the water going...I’ll bring some stuff back from the kitchen." She indicated the back door leading into the hotel.

"Ha." Bryn smiled. "I like the perks that come with owning a resort hotel."

To her astonishment, Dana leaned over and kissed her. "Now you own one of the owners, too." She winked and disappeared into the kitchen.

Well. Well, well, well. Bryn shook her head. One thing about Dr. Sanders, she sure didn’t do things halfway. She turned and limped down the path to the cabin. Oh, man. There’s no way I’ll be able to ski tomorrow. I’ll make her take me shopping. She grinned. It’ll drive her nuts.

She unbuckled her boots and cautiously wiggled her toes. I can feel most of them.

She padded across the room and opened the door onto the deck. The hot tub was outside, but was surrounded by a high, private fence. Perfect. She opened the box and examined the controls, figuring out which switches to press. There.

With the water now circulating and the steam rising, she went back inside and managed, with cramping fingers, to shed her clothes. She found two large towels in the bathroom, then went back outside, gingerly letting herself slide into the water. Wow.

A few minutes later, she heard the clump of heavy boots and the clatter of glasses. Dana appeared, carrying a bottle of wine, two glasses, and a tray of cookies. She put these down by the edge of the water and knelt, taking in the sight in front of her.

Bryn sighed, enjoying the rush caused by Dana’s eyes on her. "Hurry."

Dana didn’t even bother going back inside, but peeled off her clothes and climbed in. She poured two glasses of wine and handed one to Bryn, who by this point was leaning back, feeling very relaxed and very aroused. "Cheers."

Bryn smiled and took a sip. "I like this feeling."

"H’m?" Dana’s eyebrow lifted.

Bryn elaborated. "Feeling really aroused...and able to do something about it." She reached out and grazed a nipple with her fingers. Both women closed their eyes at the sensation. "Wow...it’s been too long," the blond murmured.

Dana opened her eyes and regarded her gently. "I can’t imagine you lacking for companionship...you’re such a babe." She tangled one hand in blond hair.

Bryn shrugged. "Well...I haven’t been interested in anyone else since I met you."

"Huh?" Now Dana was startled.

"Over the last year, nobody else was...worth the effort."

Dana was floored by Bryn’s admission. Never in her lifetime would she have the right words to express the emotions that filled her.

"Ah...I’m glad it worked out then." Well, it was lame, but it would have to do.

It must have been adequate, for Bryn leaned forward into a kiss. As she was deepening it, she felt Dana hesitate. She pulled back, suddenly awkward. "What?"

Dana had no clue where the words came from, but out of nowhere they were in the air. "I still love her, Bryn."

She looked up to find that the blond had fled to the other side of the pool, but she couldn’t stop. "I always will."

Bryn felt her heart hammering, filled with so many conflicting emotions that there was no possibility of sorting them into words. She said nothing, leaning back against the wall, closing her eyes. One thought emerged from the chaos. I want you to feel that way about me.

"I...uh..." Dana shook her head. "I guess we need to talk about this."

When Bryn found her voice, what emerged was barely controlled fury. "I’m not sure there’s anything left to talk about."

"Bryn..." Dana was at a loss. Why am I always so bad at this? "Look, that’s not what I meant. It didn’t come out right...."

"Are you playing with me, Sanders?" Bryn kept her voice even, but didn’t open her eyes.

"No...no. God, no. Please believe me, Bryn, that isn’t what this is about." The surgeon moved her hand in the water, watching the waves. "If...if it were, we wouldn’t be here now. I wouldn’t have let this start again. That’s not what I want."

"And what do you want?" Bryn was still enraged, and let it show.

Threatened with a fight, Dana felt her Chief Resident’s persona emerging. She tried to keep the edge out of her voice, but it got louder, slipping into the well-worn pattern. "Listen to me, damn you. Can’t we do this without you yelling at me?"

The blond glared. "Don’t talk to me like that."

Dana bristled. "This is the way I talk, Mallory. This is who I am."

Bryn grew quiet. "I know. But that’s not all of you, either."

I’ve met my match. Dana found green eyes boring into her. You can give as good as you get, can’t you, Mallory? You know just how to deflate me.

"Look...." The surgeon sighed. "What I meant to say...what didn’t come out right, before I was interrupted..." She caught a small smile on Bryn’s face. OK, I can do this. Heartened, she continued. "I was totally, overwhelmingly in love with her, Bryn. It will always be part of me. I never wanted to try again because.... Ah.... I wouldn’t even be trying again unless...." She stopped, unable to make herself say the words. "I really want to give this a chance. I think.... I want to see if....

The stumbling words were cut off by the press of soft lips. "That’s good enough, Doc. You can stop now." Dana felt a tongue enter, and moaned as it withdrew. Bryn’s murmuring continued. "I get the point." This isn’t finished...I just don’t think I can take any more tonight.

Dana caught her breath as the kiss ended. "I’m sorry, I just wanted to be sure...we were on the same wavelength, you know?"

Wavelength? Sometimes I wonder if we’re from the same planet. "You really know how to string me out." Bryn shook her head. "I wasn’t kidding when I said I was scared of you. Enough for tonight, OK?" You still love her? Can I deal with that? She took another sip of her drink, and leaned back, looking around. "Talk about a cliché."

"What?" Dana was still breathless.

"This place." Bryn waved her hand. "A private cabin in the woods...a fireplace...hot tub..."

"Well, it works for me," noted Dana with amusement.

Bryn smiled, then moved over to the edge to examine the tray that Dana had brought from the kitchen. Her eyes gleamed as she spotted something and reached for it.

"No way!" barked the surgeon. "That brownie’s got my name on it."

"Nope..." teased Bryn, moving away.

"Mine!"

"Come and get it, then." Bryn stuffed half the cake into her mouth and raced to the far side of the pool.

"Mmmph...mmphh!" She flailed as Dana went for the source. Finally, they broke apart. "You can’t have dessert before dinner!"

Dana’s eyes widened, and her jaw dropped open.. "Holy shit..." She backed away.

"What?" Bryn was flummoxed. "What did I say?"

"Dinner...shit...I forgot that I promised my Mom we’d have a family dinner tonight. Fuck!" Dana slapped the water, frustrated.

"Ah." Bryn was quiet. "What time?"

"Um...seven."

Bryn looked at the clock. "Still gives us an hour. So..." she regarded the wine. "should I have more of this...or less?"

Dana looked over. "You...you want to do this?"

Bryn sighed. "We’d have to, sooner or later. Might as well get it over with..." She stopped, her mind racing. Jesus...first that conversation, then parents? Let’s just feed all my insecurities, here. "I didn’t bring any nice clothes, though."

"Nah...it’s a jeans sort of thing." Dana was frowning, and Bryn’s stomach turned.

"What...what should I expect?" Her anxiety was evident.

"Oh..." Dana slid back towards her. "It’ll be fine, actually. They’ll all be charming and funny...they’re not like me at all. My Mom’s invited my brother and his wife, and my uncle and aunt..."

"So why are you looking so grim?" Bryn touched Dana’s face.

"I am? Uh...I was looking forward to more than just a quickie in the hot tub, I guess." She smiled.

Bryn grabbed her. "You’d better take me right now, then...I’m gonna need it. I have a bad track record with parents. And I want a raincheck for the rest, which I’ll be cashing in before midnight."

"Oh." The surgeon grinned wickedly. "Sure."

******

Continued in Part 8 (Final)

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