ACT FOUR

FADE IN:

EXT. MOUNTAIN PATH - MORNING

Xena is standing in front of the cave where Dr. Leonard and his team had taken refuge. She laughs as she sees it’s covered in snow and they’re trapped.

GABRIELLE

Xena, it’s not funny.  They may have

frozen to death in there. We didn’t

exactly have an easy time

getting here through the snow.

XENA

They’re fine. The fact that they got

snowed in there probably saved

their lives. The snow insulated

them and kept them warm.

She removes a small shovel from her pack and begins digging. Gabrielle uses her own shovel to keep the snow Xena is moving from piling up around them and to keep their own path clear.

After a few more minutes of work, Xena knocks a small hole in the snow and shines her light in. Peering inside she smiles again at the predicament of the team.

XENA

Anyone home?

BUCK

Get us the hell out of here!

XENA

Temper, temper. Before my lovely

assistant and I extricate you from your

little snow tomb, toss your guns out here.

DAN

Go to hell!

XENA

Have it your way.  Gabrielle, give me a

hand in covering them back up. We

can come back for them in the spring.

OTTO

Wait! I swear to you I didn’t know....

XENA

Save it Doc. They were your insurance

policy. Now they’re your problem.

See you during the thaw.

OTTO

Please!

Xena jumps back a bit when Dr. Leonard’s face appears in the small hole.

OTTO

Please get us out of here

and you can have the treasure!

Before Xena can answer there is a shot from the other side of the snow bank and Otto disappears.  Without hesitation, she begins digging into the snow, making the whole bigger. When she realizes it’s her own body that’s now framed in the hole, she hits the dirt just as a shot sounds and a bullet whizzes by her head.

Rolling to her left, Xena uses her legs to whirl around and knock Buck of his feet by tangling her legs with his. Then she scrambles over him, grabbing his gun and rolling over to fire it into Dan. One shot sounds and he slumps against the wall a small hole right in the center of his forehead.  His gun falls to the ground.

Lara is about to dive for it when a hard packed snowball hits her in the face, blinding her and giving Xena time to get the other gun and toss it out of the cavern. Assured that everyone is behaving themselves for the moment she looks up to find Gabrielle packing another snowball.

XENA

That was good thinking.

GABRIELLE

You have to use what you’ve

got handy. I’ve got lots of snow.

Xena reaches over and helps Dr. Leonard up.

XENA

Are you all right?

OTTO

Thanks to you, yes.

CUT TO:

EXT.  MOUNTAIN PATH - DAY

Xena and Gabrielle are walking behind everyone else. Dr. Leonard is walking free, but Buck and Lara are tethered together, tied securely.

XENA

Keep moving.

OTTO

Did you really find the treasure?

XENA

No, I often take walks in frigid weather

on the side of a mountain in Greece

for my health. Keep moving.

She looks at Gabrielle and rolls her eyes. Gabrielle tries to mask a grin but isn’t very successful.  As they all move into the mouth of the cave, Xena yanks the rope she is holding and tosses it over a support beam that runs the width of the cave. She ties it off, making sure that her prisoners are secure.

XENA

That should hold you.

BUCK

You bitch!

XENA

Do you kiss your mother

with that mouth?

BUCK

Bite me!

XENA

I don’t eat pork.

She pats the side of his face as she pulls a large piece of cloth from her jacket pocket holding it right in front of his face.

XENA

(cont’d)

Now, let me clue you in. We’re very

lucky that your little stunt back there

didn’t cause an avalanche. Up here,

any loud noise is bound to do just that,

so you have your choice, you can

be quite or I can keep you quiet.

He snarls at her but doesn’t say anything.

XENA

(cont’d)

Good boy.

CUT TO:

INT. CAVE - DAY

Dr. Leonard is carefully following Xena and Gabrielle into the cave. He’s not paying attention when they stop and he walks right into Xena’s back. He backs off immediately when he hears her growl. She straightens and turns to him.

XENA

(cont’d)

It’s in there.

She taps on what appears to be a solid wall.

OTTO

Xena’s treasure?

GABRIELLE

No, Aladdin’s lamp.

Xena chuckles at Gabrielle’s answer. Apparently her partner’s nerves are as frazzled as her own. She finds a grip in the rock and pushes until the rock slides away, revealing a much smaller room than the one they had been in before. Still, the room is filled with treasures of various types, including many weapons. Dr. Leonard is quick to begin his inspection as Xena and Gabrielle wander around the room. Xena picks up a sword, hefts its weight and smiles.

XENA

Hey Doc?

OTTO

Yes?

XENA

Would you be horribly

offended if I kept this?

He turns to see what she’s holding. He shrugs, apparently not the least bit concerned.

OTTO

Not at all. It’s the least

I can do for you.

XENA

I agree.

OTTO

Now the question becomes, how

do I get all of this out of here?

XENA

I’ll make you a deal.

OTTO

Yes?

XENA

If you promise to take this treasure,

leave and never come back here and

never tell anyone where this place is,

we’ll help you get it down the mountain.

OTTO

Why?

XENA

Whether you believe what we told you

about being descendants or not, it is

true and this is the only connection

we have to them. For us it’s kind of

a final resting place. I’d rather

not have it disturbed further.

Dr. Leonard nods thoughtfully.

OTTO

I can understand that.

I give you my word.

XENA

Thank you.

CUT TO:

EXT. SANDY BEACH - DAY

Xena and Gabrielle are lying on a white sandy beach under an umbrella, sipping frosty drinks with paper umbrellas. They both have on something that some people would call bikinis. Both are wearing dark sunglasses and they look very happy.

GABRIELLE

This is the life.

XENA

It’s pretty good.

GABRIELLE

Do you feel guilty?

Xena lowers her glasses and looks over the top of them.

XENA

What the hell for?

GABRIELLE

I mean come on, Xena.  It’s in our

genetic make-up to be heroes and

here we are lying on a beautiful

beach drinking rum laced cocktails.

XENA

We’ve earned this.

She rolls over on her side and brushes a strand of hair from Gabrielle’s face.

XENA

(cont’d)

I’ll make you a deal.

GABRIELLE

Yes?

XENA

After a few more days of this,

we’ll go off and try to find

an adventure of some type.

GABRIELLE

Really?

XENA

Sure. If that will make

you happy, we’ll do it.

FADE OUT.

END ACT FOUR

TAG

FADE IN:

EXT. FREEWAY - DAY

They are in a red convertible.  Xena is driving and Gabrielle is in the passenger’s seat.

XENA

This is not what I had in mind about

an adventure. Are you sure about this?

GABRIELLE

I’m sure. It’ll be a blast.

XENA

(doubtfully)

Uh huh.

GABRIELLE

Besides, how often are we

going to get to see THEM?

XENA

Them and five thousand

crazed fans of the show.

GABRIELLE

You’ll have a great time.

You’ll be the center of attention.

XENA

Remind me that if that Rob guy shows

up I want to have a word with him.

With a flick of her hand, Xena hits the left turn signal and changes lanes, following the signs to Pasadena.

FADE OUT.

DISCLAIMER

No clones were harmed during the production of this motion picture
but the graphics department is ready to smack the writer.

COMING NEXT WEEK ON XENA