ACT ONE

FADE IN:

INT. VILLAGE INN - NIGHT

The inn looks better than might have been expected. It is small... a half dozen wooden tables, a firepit and some benches and stools are inside.  Xena, Gabrielle, and the musicians sit around the largest table; there are three other villagers at a second. The rest are empty.

GORAT

So, you asked me about the last

village we were in.  It was

Petronikus. Have you been there?

Xena and Gabrielle exchange looks. Xena shrugs.

GABRIELLE

Not lately. What happened?

ELA

It was the craziest thing. We'd been

there a couple months before,

and it was fine. But this time....

The musicians all shake their heads.

GORAT

This time they nearly arrested us.

Told us music wasn't welcome

there anymore. Real strange.

ELA

They ran us out of town.

GABRIELLE

Is it some kind of local superstition?

GORAT

No. Some kind of new god.

Xena rolls her eyes.

GABRIELLE

A god who hates music?

That makes no sense.

GORAT

That's what we thought. But they told

us their new teachings said music

and dancing were immoral.

Xena rolls her eyes again.

ELA

Not only that, they were talking

about spreading all this teaching

stuff to the other villages.

GABRIELLE

(reassuringly)

I'm sure it's just a temporary thing.

Next time you go back there, it'll be fine.

ELA

I don't know.... They seemed

really well organized.

XENA

Goats look well organized

when they're being herded.

Gorat looks uncertain, but shrugs and nods. He gets up. The other musicians join him.

GORAT

Maybe you're right. I hope so.

If that spreads far, we're sunk.

He looks at the others.

GORAT

(cont’d)

So let's enjoy our nice

reception while we can.

The musicians leave.  Xena and Gabrielle sit for a moment, then get up and follow them.

CUT TO:

INT. XENA AND GABRIELLE'S ROOM - NIGHT - SHORT TIME LATER

Xena is sitting up in the somewhat small bed. Gabrielle is lying down with her legs over Xena's thighs. Xena is applying a bandage to Gabrielle's knee.  They are both dressed in their all purpose muslin shifts, and near the window their regular clothing is hung out to dry.

XENA

How's that?

Gabrielle flexes her leg.

GABRIELLE

A little better. How's your hand?

Xena flexes her hand, also encased in a new bandage.

XENA

A little better. Teach me to

punch a bear in the head.

GABRIELLE

(wryly)

Teach me to try stealing

honey from one.

(beat)

Hey, Xena?

XENA

Mm?

GABRIELLE

I think we should go back to

that town and see what's up.

XENA

With the music?

GABRIELLE

Sounds like it's more than music.

I'd just like to be sure.

Xena thinks about it.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

Maybe it's nothing, but on

the chance it isn't....

XENA

We can nip it in the bud.

GABRIELLE

Yeah.

XENA

Sure. It's not like we've got anyplace

we've got to be otherwise. Might as well.

Gabrielle looks up at the ceiling.

GABRIELLE

Good a direction as any, huh?

XENA

Yeah.

They both sit quietly for a few minutes, relaxing and enjoying the peace.

XENA

(cont’d)

But let me tell ya, we find a guy

in a condom hat again, I'm

not wasting time on talking.

Gabrielle groans, and covers her eyes.

GABRIELLE

(wryly)

And if we find another Tara, I'm

not waiting to get my ear bitten.

 She makes a punching motion.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

Bam. She's going down.

They both start laughing and we -

FADE TO:

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - MORNING

Xena and Gabrielle walk down a dirt wagon road. Gabrielle still uses her staff as a prop, and Xena appears to be weaving something out of tree vines in her hands.

Argo II ambles along behind them, appearing moderately bored.

It is bright and sunny, but there is a strong wind, and it blows leaves across the road, pelting both Xena and Gabrielle with them. Gabrielle catches a leaf, and examines it.

GABRIELLE

Why do leaves fall, Xena?

Xena gives Gabrielle a strange look.

XENA

Because they're dead.

(beat)

You know, it's that whole

circle of life... thing.

GABRIELLE

Well, yeah, I know, but why do the

leaves all die every year? You'd

think it would be better for the tree

to keep them around it to keep

it warm in the cold weather.

Xena continues her work. She is braiding some kind of basket.

XENA

Trees' got limited resources in the

winter, so it kills off its leaves

so it doesn't have to feed them.

GABRIELLE

Ah.

XENA

Nature. It's practical.

GABRIELLE

(musing)

And sometimes very brutal.

They both look up as they hear people coming down the road towards them. It is what is left of a merchant train... a wagon that has seen much better days, two bony, tired looking horses, and eight or ten men and women walking beside it. The wagon has a few boxes and some bundles of cloth in it.

As the people come up to them, they slow and stop, obviously wanting to speak.

MAN

Ho, strangers. Where

are you headed?

GABRIELLE

(under breath)

Ho?

XENA

Who's asking?

The people look at Xena and Gabrielle uneasily.

MAN

I meant no offense! My name is Elios,

and I was just going to pass on a

friendly warning! But never mind...

we'll just go on our way.

GABRIELLE

(under breath)

Xena, be nice.

XENA

(under breath)

You're the nice one, remember?

So get cracking.

The people start to move on, edging around Argo II who is standing in the middle of the road.  Gabrielle goes after them.

GABRIELLE

Sorry about that... we don't usually

find friendly people in our travels.

We're headed to Petronikus.

Elios is still in a bit of a snit. The others react visibly to the town name, however, whispering to each other and giving Xena and Gabrielle doubtful looks.

ELIOS

Have a nice trip, then.

A woman behind him pokes him.

WOMAN

Elios, tell them.

XENA

(scowling)

Tell us what?

Gabrielle takes Elios arm.

GABRIELLE

Really, we're sorry.

What's wrong?

Elios allows himself to be charmed. Xena watches this and rolls her eyes, then she goes to Argo II and starts packing away her vine basket.

XENA

(over her shoulder)

She's Gabrielle, by the way.

ELIOS

If you're going to Petronikus, I

hope you're not staying long.

We've just come from there.

WOMAN

Ran from there, you mean.

ELIOS

It was horrible. They invited all

the merchants in the area to

come to their festival, and then....

WOMAN

Then they robbed us blind!

Xena looks up over Argo's back in surprise.

GABRIELLE

Robbed you?

ELIOS

They did! Oh, they claimed it

was god's tax. Some new temple

they put up there... they've taken

the place over. Everything's changed.

XENA AND GABRIELLE

I see.

WOMAN

Oh, we could sell our things, sure,

but they took half of whatever we made.

XENA AND GABRIELLE

Really?

ELIOS

And they made us sit and listen to

this new doctrine they're preaching.

All about how we have to listen to

god, and do what god says, and

give god all of this, and all of that....

GABRIELLE

Which god?

ELIOS

(shrugging)

Doesn't have a name, according to

those guys. It was creepy. How can

you pray to a god with no name?

What do you call him, hey you?

Xena and Gabrielle exchange looks.

GABRIELLE

Well, thanks for telling us. Sorry

you had such a rough time.

The wagon starts to move on. Xena, Gabrielle and Argo II move in the opposite direction.

ELIOS

Hey.... Where are you going?

Gabrielle turns and walks backwards.

GABRIELLE

Petronikus.

WOMAN

But we told you what happened to us!

GABRIELLE

That's why we're going. We

don't want it to keep happening.

Gabrielle turns and catches up to Xena. They continue walking away down the road.

XENA

I don't like the sound of that.

GABRIELLE

Me either. You think it's a scam?

Xena looks vaguely troubled.

XENA

Maybe.

GABRIELLE

Well, we'll find out soon enough.

(pausing)

And next time, you get to be nice. I'm

over being the nice one all the time.

Xena looks at Gabrielle.

XENA

You ever see me try to be nice?

GABRIELLE

You can be very sweet when you

want to be, Xena. Don't give

*me* that old curmudgeon act.

Xena gives Gabrielle an evil look.

XENA

Hmph.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO