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ACT THREE
FADE IN:
INT. BEDCHAMBER - DAY
Gabrielle is standing before a long polished piece of metal that passes for a mirror. She is adjusting a leather top that is supposed to pass for a set of Amazon leathers.
GABRIELLE I should have kept my old ones.
She tries again to adjust her cleavage in the top and still isn’t satisfied.
GABRIELLE
(cont’d) doing this again?
Xena starts ticking points off on her fingers.
XENA One, you’re an Amazon Queen. Two, I had to pose for the artist. Three....
GABRIELLE I get it. It’s my turn.
XENA Basically.
GABRIELLE And the story is what?
XENA I think the real story works. We’ll just substitute you for Rhea.
GABRIELLE All right. I can live with that. Now... what else do I need to pull this off?
She stands staring at her reflection and a wicked grin plays across her face. Slowly she turns to Xena.
GABRIELLE (cont’d) A slave.
XENA Oh, you think so, do ya?
GABRIELLE Most definitely. Not really a slave per se, but more like a general servant. You know, my fetch and carry gal.
Xena grins and grabs for Gabrielle, catching her around the wrist and pulling her in to lift her up into her arms.
XENA I’ll show you fetch and carry.
GABRIELLE (laughing and squirming) Xena! Stop! Put me down!
XENA Heh.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. DINING ROOM – EVENING
Valius, Palaemon and Vidalus are all sitting, standing or pacing about the room each of them taking a turn at one action or the other, looking somewhat like a dance.
VAL Where are they?
PALAEMON Getting ready. They said they had to see if they could come up with a proper Amazon outfit.
VAL Why?
VIDALUS If you want this to work Vallie, trust them. They know what they’re doing. They were doing this before you were born.
PALAEMON And Gabrielle really is an Amazon Queen. That should impress Dameus.
VAL You don’t think they’ll give it away do you? Even by accident?
VIDALUS Not a chance. Once they have a plan, it’s as good as gold.
The door opens and they enter. Gabrielle is in leathers that have been decorated and now are as close to authentic as they can get on such short notice. Xena on the other hand is dressed in a VERY skimpy leather skirt and halter. If there was any less of the outfit, it would be napkins.
Val immediately takes notice. Palaemon isn’t completely disinterested. Vidalus is completely nonplussed. It takes a minute for any of them to form words.
PALAEMON This will work.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. DINING ROOM - EVENING
They are eating in relative silence... only the sound of clinking goblets and plates is heard. Xena takes a sip of her wine and gently clears her throat.
XENA We’ve been thinking.
All eyes turn to her except for Gabrielle who continues to eat the food on her plate. It’s clear she’s heard this plan and is waiting to hear what they think.
XENA (cont’d) Gabrielle and I both feel that it’s important that Vidalus is a part of the meeting between the families.
Vidalus is all smiles. Palaemon even manages a grin as he leans forward to listen. Val doesn’t look so sure.
XENA (cont’d) So what we’re going to do is make him more... presentable.
Gabrielle looks up quickly and smiles at him.
GABRIELLE Not that we don’t think you are now. Xena and I think you’re wonderful, but we’re concerned about Dameus. If he suspects anything is out of the ordinary, it could cause him to call off the wedding.
VIDALUS That would be the least of our problems.
VAL For you maybe.
VIDALUS Now, Vallie I didn’t mean it that way.
XENA Face it Valius. Dameus has the ability to flatten your father’s kingdom in less than two days. Now I know you love this girl, but you must think of your family too.
Val nods, suddenly finding his wine interesting. When Xena has chastised you, you stay chastised.
GABRIELLE So, Xena will be working with Vidalus to help him pass muster while Dameus is here.
VAL What happens after the wedding?
XENA You’ll be married. Once Dameus gets his hands on your father’s gold, I’m sure nothing else will matter.
VAL Good point.
VIDALUS So, Xena what’s our first lesson?
Xena looks up just in time to see him dabbing the corners of his mouth with his napkin.
XENA Well for starters, stop that.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. GARDENS - MORNING
Xena is pacing back and forth. She is in her regular leathers and armor, but without her weapons. Her sword and chakram are lying on the same bench where Vidalus and Gabrielle sat the day before.
She is about to get really irritated when Vidalus joins her. Her irritation quickly dissolves into something she can’t quite put her finger on, but it resembles trepidation. Vidalus is dressed in long flowing multicolored robes. All his fingers are adorned with rings, and around his neck are several necklaces of various precious stones and metals.
XENA (to self) Gods help me.
Vidalus stops and looks at the expression on Xena’s face. He gives a quick glance around and then at himself.
VIDALUS What?
XENA I’m not even sure where to start.
She looks him up and down for a moment then makes a decision.
XENA (cont’d) All right, first the jewelry has to go. No man would be caught dead wearing it. Hiding it in a cave somewhere maybe, but not wearing it.
VIDALUS But Pala....
XENA Do you want my help or not?
VIDALUS Yes, I’m sorry. Get rid of the jewelry.
XENA And the robes. We need to get you more suitable attire. A merchant perhaps. Palaemon does enough trade that it would be believable that a member of his family is the trade ambassador.
VIDALUS This is the finest silk from Ch....
Xena holds up her finger and makes a noise that sounds something like ‘no’, but even the short word is clipped and direct.
VIDALUS Fine.
XENA I suppose next is your walk.
VIDALUS What’s wrong with the way I walk? I put one foot in front of the other just like you do.
XENA No you don’t. I walk with long strides. You scurry like a girl. You need to learn to walk like a man. Like this.
Xena takes a few steps forward. Her stride is long, steady and very masculine. Her arms move very little. After taking a few paces back and forth she stops in front of him.
XENA Can you do that?
VIDALUS Well, it’s not difficult!
He takes a few steps, which start out fine, but quickly degenerate into a near run with his hands pulled up in front of his chest.
XENA No. No, no, no. You have to… to… swagger. That’s it you need to swagger.
VIDALUS I’ve never swaggered in my life.
XENA No kidding. All right, let’s forget the walk for now; we’ll deal with that later. Can you hold a sword?
One of Vidalus’ hands goes to his hip, while the other gestures through the air.
VIDALUS What do you think?
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. GARDEN - AFTERNOON
Gabrielle is moving through the garden, taking the time to stop and smell the flowers. She happens upon Xena who is facing a tree with her forehead resting against it.
GABRIELLE You haven’t been beating your head against that defenseless tree have you?
XENA I considered it.
GABRIELLE Is he hopeless?
XENA Only if he wants to walk or talk while they’re here.
Gabrielle can’t help herself and makes a sound that was suppose to be a laugh but comes out as more of a snort, directly from her sinuses.
Xena slowly looks up from the tree.
XENA Well, that was attractive.
GABRIELLE Do you have any helpful suggestions?
XENA I could kidnap Vidalus and keep him hidden until it’s over.
GABRIELLE It would break his heart.
XENA I know. We’re just going to have to do our best with what we’ve got.
GABRIELLE We’ve managed more with less.
XENA Not by much.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. PALACE GROUNDS - DAY
Everyone is in place as they await the arrival of the royal caravan. Val is handsomely dressed in his best tunic. Palaemon is in royal regalia befitting his position. Vidalus is trying to look comfortable in a pair of soft doeskin trousers, knee boots and white shirt with a tan vest. There is a hat perched crookedly on his head that Xena finally had to concede to... much as she hated it.
Gabrielle stands in her Amazon gear, with a long cloak to ward off a slight breeze that is blowing. Xena is back in her napkins, only this time with a pair of thigh high black boots. Her eyes roll slightly to the right as she feels Gabrielle looking at her.
XENA I’ll get you for this.
Gabrielle merely bites her lips to hide her smile as she looks forward at the approaching caravan.
Two carriages, surrounded by a dozen well-armed guards pull through the gate and stop just a few feet away from the group.
Palaemon and Vidalus watch as Val’s eyes light up when a servant assists Alicia from the second carriage. They are so wrapped up in watching him they almost make the first error in dealing with Dameus by not paying him the proper respect as he exits the first carriage.
Gabrielle makes the save by stepping forward.
GABRIELLE Your Majesty, I am Queen Gabrielle of the Amazons. On behalf of King Palaemon and my son Prince Valius of Magara we welcome you.
Dameus takes a moment to look Gabrielle over very appreciatively and take her hand to bestow a kiss to it.
DAMEUS Delighted, Your Majesty. I am glad you could make the long journey from your tribe to be here. I have always been impressed with Palaemon’s ties to your nation. Your warriors are legendary.
GABRIELLE Thank you. Please allow me to introduce you.
Turning she gestures to each one.
GABRIELLE This is of course, Valius’ father, King Palaemon. Valius you know, of course. This is Valius’ Uncle Vidalus. He is the king’s most senior and trusted trade ambassador.
Everyone holds their breath as the two men shake hands. When Dameus doesn’t appear to be taken aback in any way they all give silent thanks and let go of breaths they don’t realize they’re holding.
Dameus then notices Xena.
DAMEUS Palaemon, you’ve provided entertainment. How kind of you.
GABRIELLE Actually, Your Majesty, this is....
She pauses and Xena knows she’s trying to come up with a good name for her servant.
GABRIELLE (cont’d) Nikias. She is my personal servant.
DAMEUS You’re not traveling with guards?
GABRIELLE Why would I need guards? I’m here for my son’s wedding. Besides... Nikias was a gift to me from Artemis. If something arises that I can’t take care of myself, she certainly will deal with it.
Dameus gives Xena another look and decides not to test Gabrielle’s word.
PALAEMON Shall we adjourn inside? We can find your quarters and prepare for dinner tonight?
Xena and Gabrielle hang back and watch as the others head inside. Xena seems pleased that Vidalus is managing to not be his normal self.
XENA I think we’re going to make it.
GABRIELLE The evening isn’t over yet.
XENA You had to point that out, didn’t you?
GABRIELLE Come, Nikias. Let’s not keep our guests waiting.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. DINING ROOM - EVENING
Everyone is seated at the table except for Xena, who is standing right behind Gabrielle’s chair. As servants place large trays on the table, Xena takes Gabrielle’s plate and begins placing various items on it after tasting each one first. It’s a good show and Dameus is properly impressed.
DAMEUS Would you be interested in selling her?
XENA No, she’s been pretty good to me. I think I’ll keep her.
Gabrielle nearly spits her wine across the table as Palaemon and Vidalus have a hard time keeping their faces neutral. Alicia smiles and looks to Gabrielle.
ALICIA You’ll excuse me for saying so, Your Majesty, but you seem much too young to be Val’s mother.
GABRIELLE More gifts from the Gods.
PALAEMON Yes, I can honestly say Gabrielle doesn’t look much older than she did the very first time I saw her.
DAMEUS So tell me Gabrielle, why have the Amazons left the region?
GABRIELLE I must do what is best for my tribes. They have been relocated. They are by nature nomads who move from place to place. It was natural that they would eventually leave.
Gabrielle leans nearer Dameus and smiles nicely, but with warning.
GABRIELLE (cont’d) I assure you that we are never really far away and if Palaemon were to call on me, I would be here.
DAMEUS Oh, there will be no worries about that. In an exchange of wedding gifts, I’ll see to it that Palaemon and the kingdom are well protected.
XENA And he’ll see to it your treasury is full.
DAMEUS Seems an equal trade to me. Gold buys power, you know.
Xena raises a brow and is about to say something when Gabrielle places a hand on her arm.
GABRIELLE You know Dameus, Nikias is my champion. Perhaps tomorrow if you would like, you two could spar.
XENA (saccharine) Oh could we, please? That would just make my day. Why, I haven’t had a good tussle in days.
DAMEUS I would be delighted to see what you can do. I’m sure you’ve been well trained.
Before anyone notices, Gabrielle catches Xena’s hand to stop her from plunging the knife she’s gripping between Dameus’ eyes.
GABRIELLE (through gritted teeth) Put it down!
XENA No!
GABRIELLE Yes!
She shakes the knife loose as the other guests are beginning to take notice. Vidalus leans over and whispers in Palaemon’s ear.
VIDALUS And you were worried about me?
FADE OUT. |
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END OF ACT THREE |
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