ACT FOUR

FADE IN:

EXT. GARDEN - MORNING

Vidalus and Gabrielle are walking along in the early morning light, both carrying mugs that are steaming.

VIDALUS

Thank you for everything you’ve

been doing these last few days.

GABRIELLE

It seems to be going

well, doesn’t it?

VIDALUS

Yes, and I adore Alicia.

She’s so good for Vallie. He

seems to walk on air when

she’s around.  It’s been

nice to get to know her.

GABRIELLE

I think she’s rather

fond of you too.

VIDALUS

Pal and I have come up with

a story about while I’ll be

staying here after the wedding.

GABRIELLE

I’m sorry you have to

come up with a story at all.

VIDALUS

Well, it’ll be for the best.  We’re

sure that Dameus won’t care once

he has the gold. If it weren’t for the

fact that Vallie and Alicia loved

each other so much, he wouldn’t

be doing more than selling her.

GABRIELLE

I have to agree with that.  Xena

doesn’t care for him and it was

all I could do to call her off

during that sparring match.

VIDALUS

What was that thing that she

did that she said she didn’t

know how to undo?

GABRIELLE

The pinch. I can’t believe

she made me undo it.

VIDALUS

Well, the wedding is

tomorrow.  Very soon

you will be on your way.

GABRIELLE

That’s going to be

good for Dameus.

VIDALUS

And I’m sure Xena will be glad to

be back in her regular clothes.

I’m not sure she cares for her

costume.  I know these trousers

have been itching like mad.  At

least Xena didn’t make me

give up my silk unmentionables.

GABRIELLE

Did you tell her about them?

VIDALUS

That’s why they’re

called unmentionables.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

Gabrielle falls face first into the mattress with a groan. Xena just smiles from where she is slipping a sleeping gown over her head.

XENA

Tired?

There is a grunt from the bed, but nothing that resembles normal Gabrielle speech. Xena crosses the room and picks her partner up like a sack of flour, over her shoulder.  Gabrielle smiles at the play but remains limp over Xena’s shoulder with a smile on her face.

Xena throws back the bedcovers then places Gabrielle down far more gently than her partner’s previous position would have indicated.  Taking a seat next to Gabrielle, she pulls the covers up and kisses her on the forehead.

XENA

(cont’d)

Just a couple more days

and we’ll be done.

GABRIELLE

Who knew pretending to be

someone’s long lost Amazon

mother could be so tiring?

XENA

It’s not the pretending that’s

wearing me out.  It’s not

acting on the very real desire

to kick Dameus’ butt. He

is an arrogant son of a....

Gabrielle chuckles placing one hand over Xena’s mouth, and patting the bed next to her.

GABRIELLE

Come to bed. We’ve got a long day

ahead of us tomorrow. You’ll need

all the energy you can get not to

kill him tomorrow at the feast

before the wedding.  I have a

feeling he’ll be insufferable.

Xena crawls under the covers.

XENA

Oh goody.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. FESTIVAL HALL - EVENING

Xena is standing against the wall, scowling as she watches various members of Dameus’ entourage fall all over themselves for Gabrielle’s attention. She watches and it’s clear she’s tapping her foot in irritation as yet another young man vies for a bit of Gabrielle’s attention.

VIDALUS

(handing her a goblet)

You shouldn’t frown like

that.  It’ll give you horrible

lines around your eyes.

XENA

Thanks for the beauty tips.

He watches as she sips from the cup but never takes her eyes from Gabrielle.

VIDALUS

It’s just a ruse.

Remember that.

Xena’s gaze swings to him and there is a glare for just a moment and then it softens.

XENA

Come with me.

CUT TO:

INT. FESTIVAL HALL - CONTINOUS

Gabrielle has escaped the throng of young men and is now seated next to Palaemon.

PALAEMON

Have you seen Vidalus?

GABRIELLE

No. Xena’s been missing for

some time too. I hope she

didn’t resort to plan B.

PALAEMON

Plan B?

GABRIELLE

Never mind. I’m sure

they’ll turn up eventually.

Dameus swaggers across the room, cutting a swath through the guests in the room. Stopping in front of Gabrielle and Palaemon, he smiles at the King, then leers at Gabrielle.

DAMEUS

I think the father of the bride

deserves a dance with the mother

of the groom. Don’t you?

As Gabrielle looks at him, there are a hundred responses she wants to give him and they’re all written clearly on her face.  Somehow she manages to smile and nod.

GABRIELLE

I’d be delighted.

She allows herself to be guided to the floor where several couples are dancing. As they take their positions to start the next dance, Gabrielle smiles politely and looks into Dameus’ eyes.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

Move your hand.

DAMEUS

Excuse me?

GABRIELLE

The extremity that has found

its way to my backside.  Move

it... or lose it. Your choice.

Dameus is about to respond when a sudden look of anguishing pain crosses his face. From behind Gabrielle his hand comes up, gripped at the wrist by a furious Xena.  She is now dressed in her own clothes and if looks could kill, Dameus would be a smoldering pile of ash.

XENA

My choice. You move it.

GABRIELLE

Xena! What in

the name of…?

Gabrielle stops, noticing that Xena is in her leathers and that Vidalus has been returned to his normal state of appearance.

XENA

Listen to me, you worthless piece

of centaur dung. This woman in

not my master. She is my spouse,

wife, partner, companion, mate,

pal, chum, buddy, cohort, significant

other, other half, comrade or FRIEND.

I don’t care what people call her, but

I do care if you have your grubby

paws on her. So HANDS OFF!

She shoves him back; he stumbles, but regains his footing.  Before he can respond, Xena steps forward and places a finger in his chest as the entire room watches.

XENA

(cont’d)

This man is not

Palaemon’s trade advisor.

She points to Vidalus.

XENA

(cont’d)

He is an important part of Palaemon

and Val’s family. He has been with

them since the boy was a baby

and he’s an important part of this

family.  If you’re going to allow

your daughter to marry into it,

you’re going to have to accept it.

DAMEUS

Maybe I’ll call off the wedding.

Val and Alicia step through the crowd and watch as Dameus gains more composure and draws himself upright to look taller.  Xena is not impressed.

XENA

No, you won’t. For several reasons.

The first is that your daughter and

Val love each other and you wouldn’t

do that to her. The second being,

you’re a greedy bastard and you

don’t want to give up your

claim to Palaemon’s gold.

DAMEUS

I have an army.

I can TAKE his gold.

GABRIELLE

I have one too, remember.

Dameus stops and looks between them as they simultaneously cross their arms and raise opposite brows.

XENA

And she’s not

afraid to use it.

Dameus knows he is beaten as Vidalus and Palaemon stand next to each other, along with his daughter and Val.

DAMEUS

Fine. The wedding will

go on as planned.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. CHAPEL - MORNING

Xena and Gabrielle watch from the back of the room as the wedding seems to go off without a hitch.  The bride’s father sits on one side, looking a little frustrated but reasonable.

Palaemon, sitting next to Vidalus, looks over as his friend weeps loudly and dabs at his eyes with a brightly colored hanky.  Palaemon smiles and takes Vidalus’ hand, looping it through his arm and patting it comfortingly.

PALAEMON

(whispering)

Think about it... in a few

years maybe we’ll have

grandchildren to spoil.

This only causes Vidalus to wail again, this time putting his forehead against Palaemon’s shoulder.

From the rear of the room, Xena and Gabrielle share a smile.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT FOUR

TAG

FADE IN:

EXT. COURTYARD - MORNING

Xena is stowing their gear on Argo as Gabrielle, Palaemon and Vidalus approach from the garden.

PALAEMON

Seems like I’m always

saying thanks to you two.

XENA

(teasingly)

And since we keep saving

your backside, well you should.

Palaemon laughs and nods.

PALAEMON

I suppose so.

He offers Xena his arm.

PALAEMON

(cont’d)

If you’re ever in the area

again stop in and see us.

Xena breaks the handshake and mounts Argo, offering her hand to Gabrielle.

GABRIELLE

(hugging Vidalus)

Take care of

yourself and them.

VIDALUS

I will. I promise.

Gabrielle turns and is pulled up behind Xena. She waves as they ride off toward the countryside.

VIDALUS

I’m going to miss them.

PALAEMON

So am I.  I learned a lot

while they were here.

VIDALUS

Really?

PALAEMON

Yeah, that you should

never try to hide or be

something you’re not.

CUT TO:

EXT. FOREST - NIGHT

Xena is sharpening her sword as Gabrielle tosses a small log on the crackling fire. Gabrielle’s eyes follow the embers that float upward.

XENA

And what is tonight’s great

philosophical contemplation?

Gabrielle smiles and shakes her head a little as she takes her place stretched out on the blanket.

GABRIELLE

Well, it just seems

like I was right.

Xena lays her sword aside and joins Gabrielle on the blanket.  Immediately, their hands clasp and finger entwine.

XENA

You usually are, but what

were you right about this time?

GABRIELLE

Sidekick is pretty good

work if you can get it.

Xena chuckles as they both grow quiet and stare at the night sky.  Xena points into the sky.

XENA

Does that look like

a centaur to you?

FADE OUT.

DISCLAIMER

Xena didn't beat up any trees during the making of this episode,

but we're pretty sure she was the one that kicked a couple shrubs.