ACT 3

FADE IN:

11.

INT. BARN. MORNING.

Xena rolls over in the furs, reaching for Gabrielle. She lays with her eyes closed, feeling around the bed. When she realizes Gabrielle isn't there, she opens her eyes and sits up. She looks around the loft and sees her leathers where they got tossed the night before. But Gabrielle and her clothes are gone. She reaches over and grabs her leathers. She pulls them under the blanket and gets into them. Just as she's finished and about to crawl out of bed, Gabrielle's head pops up over the ladder.

GABRIELLE
Good morning.

XENA
Not bad, considering
we slept in a stable.

Gabrielle puts a bundled cloth in the straw, and climbs the rest of the way up.

GABRIELLE
Hey, it was just what
we needed, Xena.
A little roll in the hay.

XENA
Very funny.

(looks to the bundle)

Did you bring me breakfast?

GABRIELLE
Actually, I did.
Fresh rolls and berries.

XENA
(opening the bundle)
Sounds great! Are you,
ummm, still hearing voices?

GABRIELLE
Don't say it like that. I'm
not crazy, but to answer
your question, yes, I'm
still hearing them.

XENA
What was the last thing you
remember before this started?

GABRIELLE
It was yesterday morning.
I was filling the water skins.
You were being a grump.

XENA
Everyone has a
rough morning.

GABRIELLE
I know.
Okay, lets see. I was
griping about you while
I was filling the skins.

XENA
Gee, thanks.

GABRIELLE
You were making me crazy.
Anyhow, I remember thinking
how much easier it would be if
I could read your mind.

XENA
Maybe the lake was
enchanted. Did you
drink the water?

GABRIELLE
Yes, but so did you. Did
any of the wishes YOU
made yesterday come true?

XENA
(chuckles)
Actually, yeah.

GABRIELLE
(rolling eyes)
Oh, give me strength.

XENA
You asked.

GABRIELLE
My mistake. Now come on,
Xena. I really don't like KNOWING
what other people are thinking.
It's bad enough when I can
IMAGINE what they're thinking.

Xena wraps her arm around Gabrielle's shoulder and pulls her close.

XENA
I know. We'll get it. Compared
to some of the other things
we've been through this is easy.

GABRIELLE
Sure, you'd think that. You
didn't have to hear what the
guy at the market thought
about my body this morning.

XENA
What?!

GABRIELLE
Let's just say I wasn't wild
about where he wanted
to lick honey from.

XENA
Ewwww.

GABRIELLE
Yeah, ewwww.

(taking a berry from
Xena's hand)

But seriously, I want to know
what's wrong here and how
we can make it stop.

XENA
I know, as soon as we eat,
we'll get started on it.

GABRIELLE
As soon as we eat? Gee,
thanks for your concern.
I'm sure I can wait for you
to get a bath and a clean
pair of leathers too.

XENA
(teasing)
Would you? That'd be great.
I've  had this itch for a couple days.
I think a bath would do wonders.

Gabrielle just drops her head, shaking it slowly as a smile creeps across her face.

GABRIELLE
Why do I put up
with you again?

XENA
Because you can't
live without me.

FADE TO:

12.

EXT. VILLAGE. DAY

Xena and Gabrielle are walking through the village trying to puzzle out where this mysterious new gift has come from. Suddenly Gabrielle stops and pulls Xena next to the wall with her and motions for her to be quiet. Xena watches as Gabrielle closes her eyes and tilts her head as if listening to something. She remains quiet, but watches her partner intently.

GABRIELLE
Look around the corner, and see
if there are two men standing
in front of the tavern.

Xena slides over carefully and looks around the corner, seeing two MEN standing where Gabrielle said they would be. They appear to be in a heated argument, but trying to keep their voices low. She moves back to Gabrielle and nods.

GABRIELLE
They're planning on robbing
the King's tax collector.

XENA
You're sure?

Gabrielle just gives Xena a supremely annoyed look.

XENA
(cont'd)
Okay, I'm sorry. Seems that
this little power you have
can be extremely useful.

GABRIELLE
I've got to be honest Xena,
I'd rather not have it. I think
the element of surprise has
a place in our life. Besides,
I DO NOT like hearing everything.

XENA
True. But right now we
really should deal with this.

GABRIELLE
Agreed.

Xena looks out at the men again who are still in deep discussion. She looks over when she feels Gabrielle come up behind her and look over her shoulder.

XENA
What do they think?

GABRIELLE
Funny. They're meeting with
two other men. Then they're
going to attack after he leaves
the village this afternoon.

XENA
Okay, that gives
us some time.

GABRIELLE
Is that a plan I
hear forming?

Xena looks at Gabrielle questioning that last statement.

GABRIELLE
No, I can't hear you.
But after all this time,

(beat)
(a realization comes to her)

I really don't need to. I only
need to pay attention and
I know what you're thinking.

(sighing)

Xena, I'm sorry.

XENA
For what?

GABRIELLE
For not hearing you lately.

XENA
It's okay, you've had
a lot to deal with.

GABRIELLE
No it's not, but
we'll work on it.

XENA
Absolutely.

(looks at the men again)

But right now…

GABRIELLE
Right behind you, partner.

CUT TO:

13.

INT. MAGISTRATES OFFICE. DAY.

Xena and Gabrielle make their way into the crowded office where the VILLAGERS are lined up to pay their taxes. They move through the crowd to the front of the room, drawing closer to the TAX COLLECTOR and the two GUARDS. One of the Guards steps forward putting up a hand to stall them.

GUARD 1
You'll have to wait your turn.
Get to the back of the line.

XENA
We're not here to pay taxes.

GUARD 1
And why not?

GABRIELLE
Because we don't live here.

GUARD 1
Then you don't belong
here. Move along.

GABRIELLE
But we have…

GUARD 1
(laying his hand on his sword)
I said move on!

XENA
Look, we have information
that is going to be very
important to you.

GUARD 1
LOOK!
I told you to move on.
If you don't, I'll place
you under arrest.

Xena stiffens and Gabrielle knows that she is about to blow. Gabrielle takes her by the arms and pulls her back.

GABRIELLE
Easy. It's not worth it.
We can still help them.

XENA
I think we should let it
happen and teach that
arrogant ass a lesson.

GABRIELLE
We could, but that wouldn't
be right. Come on. Let's go
at this from another angle.

They leave the office, standing outside and looking around the village. Gabrielle rubs her temples with her hands.

XENA
What's wrong?

GABRIELLE
I'm getting a Tartarus of
a headache. I think it's all
the noise in my head.

XENA
We need to get you
some place quiet.

GABRIELLE
No, I'm okay

XENA
Gabrielle, don't argue with me
on this one. We'll find a
place for you to rest before
we deal with our little friends.

CUT TO:

14.

INT. TEMPLE. DAY.

Xena pushes to door open to a run down temple of Aphrodite's. Gabrielle follows her inside, making a face at the condition of the place.

GABRIELLE
Yuck.

XENA
Well, it may not be in the best
shape, but it's quiet and you won't
hear the thoughts of anyone.

GABRIELLE
Only the occasional rat.

Suddenly Aphrodite pops in, her hand resting on a dusty altar. She notices immediately and quickly brushes the dirt from her hand.

APHRODITE
I need to think about a maid.

(to Xena and Gabrielle)

And how are my girls?

GABRIELLE
I have a headache.

APHRODITE
(to Xena)
Sorry about your luck.

XENA
SHE has a headache because
suddenly she can hear
everyone's thoughts.

APHRODITE
Not everyone, silly. Just you.
That's what she wanted,
so that's what I did.

GABRIELLE
YOU did this?

APHRODITE
(bites her lower lip)
Don't say it like
it's a bad thing.

XENA
It is a bad thing.
Aphrodite, Gabrielle is
in real pain here.

APHRODITE
I was only trying to help.
You two are just
hopeless sometimes.

GABRIELLE
Take it off. Please?

APHRODITE
Of course, little one. You know
I would never intentionally
hurt you. Something must
have gone wrong. I'll fix it.

XENA
Make sure nothing goes
wrong with the fix.

APHRODITE
Right.

She takes a step back and gestures Xena away from Gabrielle. Xena looks at Gabrielle then back to the goddess and decides that a few feet away might be the best place to be after all.

GABRIELLE
Thanks so much.

Xena just shrugs and smiles sheepishly. Aphrodite lifts her hands up to cast the spell, then stops in mid motion.

APHRODITE
Ready?

XENA and GABRIELLE
YES!

APHRODITE
All right!
You guys are like, so
impatient. That's bad for
your complexion, you know.

(touches the skin around Xena's eyes)

It will give you little lines…

XENA
(snarling)
Sometime today, please.

APHRODITE
(jumping back a step)
Fine.
Chill, warrior babe.

The Goddess of Love points at Gabrielle and magic dusts floats gently around the bard's head, causing her to sneeze.

APHRODITE
(blows on her knuckles then buffs
them off on her pink nightie)
Well?

GABRIELLE
I don't hear anything.

(turning to Xena)

But since I couldn't hear your
thoughts to begin with, we may
have to go out and test the theory.

XENA
You could try with Aphrodite.

GABRIELLE
(conspiratorially)
To be honest, Xena, I'd
rather not know what
she thinks about.

APHRODITE
Now I ask you, is that nice?

(puts her hands on her hips)

Hmm?

FADE OUT:

ACT 4