1 |
Orphan of
War |
"No Sleazy Warlords who deem it necessary to drink magic elixirs that turn them into scaly Centaurs were harmed during the production of this motion picture." |
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| 2 |
Remember
Nothing |
"Xena's memory was not damaged or...what was I saying." |
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| 3 |
Giant Killer |
"No Bible myths or icons were irreparably mangled during the production of this motion picture." |
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| 4 |
Girls Just
Wanna
Have Fun |
"No Bloodsucking Bacchae were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, a few Dryads lost their heads." |
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| 5 |
Return of
Callisto |
"Although Xena finally conquered her dark nemesis Callisto, it took her weeks to get the sand out of her leather unmentionables." |
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| 6 |
Warrior...Princess...Tramp |
"Neither Xena nor her remarkably coincidental identical twin, Diana, were harmed during the production of this motion picture. Meg, however, suffered minor injuries while preparing Aardvark nuggets for King Lias." |
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| 7 |
Intimate Stranger |
"Argo was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, she is undergoing intensive psychotherapy to help her work through her resentment and feelings of distrust toward Xena." |
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| 8 |
Ten Little Warlords |
"No one was harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, Xena's ability to recover her body was severely impeded by Lucy Lawless' unexpected mishap." |
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| 9 |
A Solstice Carol |
"Senticles was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, several chimneys are in dire need of repair." |
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| 10 |
The Xena Scrolls |
"No Hollywood producers were harmed during the production of this motion picture." |
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| 11 |
Here She Comes
Miss Amphipolis |
"No ribbons were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, several experienced severe motion sickness." |
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| 12 |
Destiny |
"Julius Caesar was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, the producers deny any responsibility for any unfortunate acts of betrayal causing some discomfort." |
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| 13 |
The Quest |
"Xena's body was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, it took weeks for Autolycus to get his swagger back." |
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| 14 |
A Necessary Evil |
"The reputation of the Amazon Nation was not harmed despite Velasca's overly radical adherence to an otherwise valid belief system." |
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| 15 |
A Day in the Life |
"No Slippery Eels were harmed during the production of this motion picture despite their reputation as a fine delicacy in select cultures of the known world." |
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| 16 |
For Him the Bell
Tolls |
"The producers wish to acknowledge the inspiration of Danny Kaye and pay tribute to the classic motion picture The Court Jester." |
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17 |
The Execution |
"By popular demand, The Executioner will bring back his comfortable lightweight cotton-flax blend robe in a variety of spring colors." |
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| 18 |
Blind Faith |
"Once again, Gabrielle's luck with men was harmed during the production of this motion picture." |
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19 |
Ulysses |
"Despite Gabrielle's incessant hurling, Ulysses' ship was not harmed during the production of this motion picture." |
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| 20 |
The Price |
"To show sympathy for the Horde, Kaltaka was only served upon request during the production of this motion picture." |
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21 |
The
Lost Mariner |
"Cecrops' Joie de Vivre was not harmed during the production of this motion picture." |
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| 22 |
Comedy of Eros |
"No cherries were harmed during the production of this motion picture." |
